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#Leadership : 13 Ways To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns….You View the World Through your Mental Attitude. If that Attitude is Predominantly Negative, it Can Impact Everything, Including Health, Career, Family, & More. Furthermore, Negative Thinking can Have a Spiraling Effect that Attracts More Negative Thinking.

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Luckily, we can slowly train ourselves over time on how to think by implementing simple techniques. Below, coaches from Forbes Coaches Council offer their guidance on how to get started.

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Here are the thirteen (13): 

1. Have Daily Negative Thought Time

A paradoxical strategy to gain control over negative thinking is to commit to 10minutes a day ruminating and reviewing them over and over again. Negative Thought Time (NTT) must be 10 minutes and must be every day. When you have a negative thought during the day, jot it down, and tell yourself that you’ll review them during NTT. Over time, you will gain control and negative thinking will stop.   – Julie Kantor, PhD, JP Kantor Consulting

 

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2. Replace the Negative Thoughts

We don’t overcome negative thought patterns, we replace them. For most of us, those negative thought patterns are well-worn neural pathways. Four simple steps:

  1. Notice when you have started the pattern.
  2. Acknowledge that its a pattern you want to change.
  3. Articulate what you want to be different.
  4. Choose a different behavior — one that serves your goals.

– David Taylor-Klaus, DTK Coaching

3. Be Your Own Best Friend

We are mean to ourselves. Nearly 90% of self-talk is negative. Three steps:

  1. Release it. Let it out to help process, not to dwell. Three minutes, then the pity party is over.
  2. Track it. Identify when you have negative thoughts. Awareness will enable reframing.
  3. Reframe it. Once you know why you are being mean, consider what your best friend would say to you. Then tell yourself what you need to hear.

– Michelle Tillis Lederman, Executive Essentials

4. Write Instead of Think

Write down why the negative thought is present. Writing versus thinking helps purge the thought out, and when you can see the words on paper or a screen it is easier to make sense of it and move forward.   – Steven Cohen, Meyvn Global

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5. Make a Conscious Effort to Find Things to Love, Like and Appreciate

Instead of fighting negative thoughts, consciously reach for better feeling thoughts. One powerful way to do that is to speak (out loud if you can) to what you love, like and appreciate. Heading into a tough talk? “I love the way the coffee tastes today.” “I like the way this chair feels at my back.” “I appreciate the chance to process ideas with my team.” Reach for the relief, and you’ll find it.   – Wendy Pitts Reeves, C2C Consulting, PLLC

6. Ask Yourself Some Tough Questions

Reflect on your answers to some tough questions. 1. What do I get from having negative thought patterns?  What’s the reward for me? 2. What do I lose by engaging in negative thoughts? What are the costs? 3. What benefits would I receive from engaging in positive thoughts? What costs are associated with thinking more positively? 4. What in my past made me think negatively? 5. What will I do now?   – Bill Gardner, Noetic Outcomes Consulting, LLC

7. Establish New Habits

Rather than thinking of it in terms of “overcoming” negative thought patterns, think of it in terms of establishing new habits. You do that by directing your attention to subjects where there’s nothing to “overcome”: subjects that you already feel good about, and therefore think positively about. That could be your pet, your painted toe nails, being outside, the beach… Start with something easy.   – Christine Meyer, Christine Meyer Coaching

8. Stop Watching the Morning News

Research has shown just three minutes of negative news in the morning will significantly increase your chances of a negative experience over the course of the day. Research has also shown that positive mindset increases productivity and satisfaction while reducing errors rates. Mindset is a choice, but not always an easy one. Look to eliminate negative influences and stop watching morning news!   – Dr. Woody Woodward, HCI

9. Use Affirmations

When you wake up, open your eyes and feel gratitude for the new day. Write down daily affirmations: “I love the people I work with,” “I make positive contributions every day,” or “I am open to inspired thoughts.” If a negative thought creeps in, think of a success you’ve had and the feeling that went with it. Positive thinking is a daily task, but worth it.   – Erin Kennedy, Professional Resume Services, Inc.

10. Develop Your Success Routine

Every morning for fifteen years, I’ve done a process I created called “Quantum Programming.” It involves taking time each morning as you wake to meditate and focus on the person you want to be and the quality of life you want to live. You also set a few important goals to keep your momentum building toward your dreams. When you know what you want and are driving at it daily, negativity will fade.   – Brett Baughman, The Brett Baughman Companies, Inc.

11. Channel Those Thoughts Into Something Constructive

Negative thought patterns can easily take over, but a fantastic (and constructive) trick is to identify what the negative thought pattern is and a project you’re excited about. Then, consciously commit to this: Every time you find yourself focusing on the negative, refocus your thoughts for five minutes on your exciting project. I did this recently and a new initiative is now ahead of schedule!   – Emily Kapit, MS, MRW, ACRW, CPRW, ReFresh Your Step, LLC

12. Focus on Gratitude

Gratitude is underrated by most but is essential to a happy life. Life doesn’t get easier, but we become stronger as we reframe difficulties by recognizing all of the little good things going on around us. Keep a Good List and refer to it daily. Also, focus on what you really want and be very specific. A focused, positive mind will attract what it is seeking over time.   – Jen Kelchner, TeenTrep.co

13. Try Movement and Meditation

As a registered yoga teacher (RYT-200) and a writing coach and author, I know that you can‘t escape negative thoughts without physically disrupting them. To get out of your head, get into your body. A few minutes of deliberate breath work (seated 10-15 minute meditation) or body movement (like a yoga class)can disrupt those thinking patterns. To get out of your head, move more. Feel more.   – Dave Ursillo, The Literati Writers

 

Forbes.com | May 9, 2016 | Forbes Coaches Council

 

 

Your #Career : Job Stability? 5 Types of Employees That Companies Don’t Want Anymore…Are you a Hard Worker? Are you Loyal? That’s Great, But those Attributes Don’t Necessarily Mean you’ll Stay Employed (or Even Get a New Job).

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In the modern work world, it takes more than just proving you’ll stay put; you have to actually prove your worth to your employer. Know that there are certain types of employees companies don’t value as much as before. If you’re one of these types of workers, beware, you may have a hard time getting ahead.

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Here are five types of employees companies don’t want anymore.

1. The flat liner

When you first started working for your company you had plenty of goals and fresh ideas. Now, all you want to do is get your check and go home. You’re either suffering from burnout, tired, or just don’t care anymore. It’s time to start caring. If you don’t get some motivation and develop ways to contribute to the company, your employer may eventually show you the door. Management expert Jeff Schmitt said this type of employee has simply stopped trying to learn. “We’ve all worked with them. They’re just there, biding their time and collecting a check. No goals. No plan. No purpose. Years ago, they were among the young Turks who begged for more responsibility. Now, they’ve mentally checked out…No, they’re not introverts who mask their passions. They’re simply employees who quit learning and getting better,” said Schmitt.

 

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2. The martyr

This is the opposite of the flat liner. You would do anything for the benefit of your employer. No request is too much. The word “no” never leaves your lips. Work every weekend for the next five weeks? No problem. Miss the birth of your first child? You got it. Years ago employers loved this level of dedication, but that’s not the case anymore. That’s because the martyr is a potential liability. You’re just one sleepless night away from making a critical error. This is why cloud communication company GetVOIP said this type of employee is actually toxic to the work environment. “The polar opposite of the slacker may seem like an employer’s dream, but a worker who insists on doing everything themselves can cause their own serious set of problems … They may have control issues, or may be working too hard to prove themselves, but they bring an imbalance to the team, foster unrest in the ranks, and are at risk of burnout,” said GetVOIP contributor Reuben Yonatan.

3. The ghost

You lack visibility and you like it that way. Your goal is to fly under the radar: Come to work, finish your projects, and go home. Your desire is to avoid conflict so you can hang on another day. The problem is, being invisible doesn’t work for very long. Being a ghost won’t protect you, it may actually hurt you in the long-run because no one will know what skills you bring to the table. Don’t let your fears of getting let go cause you to hide. Your employer won’t have the time to figure out your value when it’s time for layoffs. What’s even worse is you may be confused for a slacker. Management expert Patty Azzarello said avoiding visibility is a bad idea.

I find that very often when people take this position, they believe that they are on the high ground—that they are somehow morally superior to those who are more visible. And that being visible is, by definition, a shallow, self-serving endeavor. There are three issues with this:

1. If you choose to “fly under the radar,” don’t be confused or upset when you get passed over for raises and promotions. This was your strategy— to make sure no one knows you are there!

2. You are missing the opportunity to do better, more effective, more valuable work, if you don’t connect with others to increase your access to knowledge, experience and learning from others.

3. You are withholding value from the company by not sharing what you have learned with others. There is nothing political about communicating things of value and sharing knowledge. And when you do this, guess what?—you are no longer invisible!

4. The lifer

This type of employee is rare, but they still exist. If you’re one of them, it’s time to change up your plan. Staying with a company for a while can be good, but not if your career has stalled and you don’t have any plans to make a significant contribution. Companies want more than dedication, they want results. Years ago, loyalty was rewarded, but things have changed. So if you’re looking for a pat on the back for coming to work every day, you’ll be waiting for a very long time. So stop counting your perfect attendance for the last 10 years as major accomplishment.

Andrew G. Rosen, founder of career site Jobacle, said being a lifer can lead to complacency. “This can sneak up on you like the flu in the summer … Every season, you should reflect on your job and think about how a hiring agent will perceive your tenure. Are you becoming the lifer you promised you’d never be? If the work no longer excites you and the company is not willing to invest in you, it’s time to find an organization that will,” said Rosen. So if you’re a lifer who is making significant contributions and you’re learning new skills, good for you. But if you’re a lifer just sitting around until it’s time to retire, you may find yourself out of a job sooner rather than later.

5. The trainee

Sure, everyone needs a bit of training every now and then, but if you don’t have the basic skills required to do your job, you’ve got a problem. Employers just don’t have the time to hold your hand. “The Washington Post has a great piece from Peter Cappelli about how the ‘skills shortage’ that people like to blame on schools (and on college students’ choice of focus in their studies) is BS … and that the real issue is that employers just don’t want to train people anymore,” said Alison Green, founder of the website Ask a Manager.

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CheatSheet.com | May 4, 2016 | 

Your #Career : 7 Smart Ways to Be Amazingly Professional & Look the Part…What Brings You the Extra Mile is In the Details.

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It’s all in the details. Once you’ve got your basic professional attire mastered* (for whatever your line of work/dress requires), what brings you the extra mile is in the details.

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These are two-pronged: attitude and accessories.

Attitude:

  • Projecting confidence will make you look more professional. Some things you can do to help with this are maintaining good (but not uncomfortable) eye contact, smiling, nodding occasionally, and being both an active listener and a clear and thoughtful speaker.
  • Being approachable and open to discussions of all kinds helps, especially when paired with confidence (you’re not a doormat, but you’re also not standing on a high pedestal unable to be reached). The best professionals I know in any line of work, whether it’s at a coffee shop, an investment firm, or a startup, are approachable (when appropriate). The least professional are unapproachable, albeit for a variety of reasons (whether it’s simply that they have an air of being too important or it’s just clear that they’re hostile and not open for discussions).
  • Composure. Maintaining your composure at work is critical to looking more professional. When you do it a majority of the time, you can then use the small occasions to emote more than normal to great effect — whether it’s to celebrate a really big win (oh man, Alecia’s REALLY happy about that, and she’s usually pretty calm, though positive, this must be huge!) or a pretty critical miss (Oh wow, she looks pretty intense and serious about what happened with X, this must be a pretty big lost opportunity in her eyes). And the rest of the time, composure inspires trust from those around you and helps establish you as a professional in all situations, good, bad, and everyday.

 

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Accessories. This is where it’s a little debatable, and we could say that you should be able to be professional without X, Y, or Z. That’s true. But on the other hand, if you’re looking for the small signals to just help with your overall big picture, these are some tips. It’s not even about just looking a certain way to outsiders, it’s about how these small things may help you feel more “ready” for anything. There are jokes about war paint, etc, but the basic idea was to get them in a mind spot for something, and that’s why it’s an idea used across the world throughout history.

  • Over your basic attire, anything “extra” that you don to go the extra mile just makes you look that much more put together. As a manager whose professional wardrobe consisted of all black, this meant a range (depending on where I worked) of accessory options like a splash of color at the ears, a statement necklace, a tasteful bracelet, or a really nice pair of shoes. For my husband, who wears a dress shirt and slacks to work every day under his white coat, this means that I buy him a wide array of colorful, fun statement socks. He gets remarks daily — they really make the entire thing look that much more thoughtful and appealing. I worked with a young man once who over his black attire would always wear a colorful bow-tie. People loved this. They assumed that he was a leader in our team — and he wasn’t, at least, not at first! But he saw himself as one eventually, and so did we, and he became a part of the leadership team. As a mom, I can throw a whimsical scarf on over a sweatshirt and yoga leggings and suddenly look 10x more put together than I did before. This is great for the days when I maybe didn’t even get to comb my hair before putting it up!
  • The varnish. That coat you put over paint or wood to make it just seem a little more eye-catching and finished? People can get that too. Depending on your line of work, you’ll know how much is appropriate or not (and it’s always up to you whether you decide to do it or not), but if you do decide to polish up, those details help. A coat of tasteful nail polish, a dusting of some powder blush, etc. Sometimes it’s as little as a simple, eye-catching pop of lip gloss or a little extra beeswax to get a perfect pompadour. Just a little statement to say that you put in that extra moment will project to people that you’re that much more together – and also likely make you feel more confident as well. A wise friend told me that whatever you do to look/feel good is great, but when people show a little more effort or creativity, it instills a sense of confidence and interest that they are also going to show a little extra effort or creativity in other situations.
  • The grooming. Whatever you’re doing, be thoughtful about it. If you’re culturing a look of deliberate scruff, great, just make sure it’s neat around the edges so it looks purposeful and not just lazy. Even if you never paint your nails, you should make sure they’re clean, trimmed to a good length (whatever you decide that is), and generally neat-looking (unless you work hard with your hands, and then maybe the dirt or scars, etc, lend to that air of professionalism, too!). Hair that looks deliberately cared for is nice, whether that’s simply having it clean and neat or you like a more styled option.
  • The smell. Although in many fields, wearing a perfume or scented lotion is eschewed (for anyone in most service industries, etc), if it’s not, smell good. But do not overdo it! Being lightly scented, whether it’s cologne, perfume, lotion, or just freshly soaped, generally is more appealing than not. When people are standing near you, it should be mostly a pleasant experience, without any real reason to feel put off.

*Regarding mastering basics, I’d say stick to these things when building your wardrobe: fit, function, quality, and classics.

This question originally appeared on Quora – the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. More questions:

PUBLISHED ON: APR 26, 2016|  Inc.com 

What are some simple tips that can help people look more professional? originally appeared on Quora – the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.

Answer by Alecia Li Morgan on Quora:

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Your #Career : The 7 Most Common Mistakes We Make Promoting Ourselves…Self-Promotion is a Struggle for Many of Us (Women Particularly). We Know we Should Do It & Do It More Often if we are to Gain the Visibility/Credibility we Need to Advance our Careers. But it’s Not a Simple Task.

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Although women seem to agonize more about self-promotion, the challenges transcend gender and status.

portrait of Young pretty business woman work on notebook computer in the bright modern office indoors

In general, people fall into three different categories relative to promoting themselves. Those who promote often in a flamboyant, ego-driven manner. (This may or may not be well-received.)  Those who attempt it with ambivalence and are challenged to do it effectively. And lastly, those who don’t even try.

Regardless, of the category you may identify with, there are some common mistakes we make promoting ourselves.

Here are the top 7 mistakes:

We allow our limiting beliefs about self-promotion to hold us back.

Many of us have heard and absorbed the message that self-promotion is bragging, and if you brag no one will like you. This is especially true for women who were taught to be humble and wait to be recognized. When you permit these beliefs to control your behavior, you feel ambivalent about promoting yourself even though you know it’s important. The result is that you avoid it or don’t take the time to learn how to do it effectively.

 

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We rely on an elevator pitch.

I’ve sat in on countless workshops about self-promotion that teach how to create an elevator pitch. We are instructed to memorize the pitch and look for opportunities to tell others what we do. This very stylized pitch is challenging and stressful to deliver because it never seems authentic. It doesn’t resonate with your audience and consequently, it either flops or backfires. The danger is that key stakeholders don’t get it, aren’t interested, and won’t remember your pitch.

We don’t understand our value.

If you don’t get how you contribute to positive business outcomes, how can you possibly promote yourself effectively? Any attempt will seem inauthentic. You need to know your value proposition and believe in the strength of your contribution. That allows you to position yourself as someone who can help others in the organization reach their goals; help the business reach its objectives. Understanding your value proposition helps you to build visibility and credibility as well as trust and influence.

We talk about past accomplishments.

It’s important to keep track of your achievements but reciting a list of your successes is not always effective. You want to position yourself as part of theongoing future business solutions; as someone who can help the company move forward to reach its objectives. Your value proposition helps you see opportunities to do this with key stakeholders and decision makers. It’s the foundation of savvy self-promotion.

We don’t understand our audience.

Communicating your value proposition is essential but you need to understand what others want and need or your message won’t resonate. It’s a three step process. Understand your value. Understand what others want and need, and then identify how you can help them based on your value proposition. How can you add value? It’s a powerful way to create visibility and credibility.

We don’t have allies and champions across the organization.

A supportive network is willing and able to advocate for you. These people understand your contribution and speak up for you when appropriate and/or when you’re not present. Your network will also alert you to possible opportunities for additional exposure with key stakeholders.

We still believe that our work speaks for itself.

This is the most dangerous mistake of all. Great performance is a given for career advancement, but you need to communicate and demonstrate to others the value it brings to the organization. The belief that your work alone will help you get ahead results in your hesitancy to take the time to advocate for yourself. You remain under the radar and potentially invisible.

Want to learn more about how to promote yourself effectively? Check out my book, The Politics of Promotion: How High Achieving Women Get Ahead and Stay Ahead (Wiley 2015) and my website for additional resources including an online course based on the book.

 

Forbes.com | April 21, 2016 | Bonnie Marcus

 

 

#BestofFSCBlog : #YourCareer -So, What Have You Done for Me Lately? (Applying the SAR). Typically, you are going to be called in for an annual or semiannual review. The company may be on the verge of a massive downsizing: Who can we cut? Where is the fat in our organization?

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I’ve received many a puzzled look. Jar of moonshine? Jar of marmalade? What is this “jar” you speak of? It’s quite simple: you never stop recording your achievements. You have to maintain a journal of actions and results. This is the ongoing history of your SARs (Situation / Action / Result) within the organization, and trust me, no one other than you will document this valuable information.

business woman with her staff, people group in background at modern bright office indoors

                                                                        Do you have your Jar?

Typically, you are going to be called in for an annual or semiannual review. The company may be on the verge of a massive downsizing: Who can we cut? Where is the fat in our organization?

“I was blindsided. I never saw it coming!  Just last month they were praising my performance!” “I can’t believe this, after all I have done for them!”

In your review, you may not be discussing a raise or a promotion. Whether you know it or not, a good review may determine whether you will keep your job. You should be prepared both offensively and defensively. If you’ve been in the corporate world for any length of time, you’ve likely witnessed a top performer walking into a review with all the confidence in the world, only to exit the meeting with an empty box and a security escort. Our outplacement company has seen this happen repeatedly.  The client comes to us in a state of shock:

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This is a common tale, and the employer’s decision to let you go cannot be reversed once the meeting is over. If your employer is aware of your accomplishments and the fact that they are better off keeping you, it may not save your job, but as my Grandma Rose used to say, “It couldn’t hurt.”

In other words, be prepared to highlight your valuable contributions.  Now, you need not live your life worrying that the ax is going to drop every six months, but you need to understand that this can happen at any time. No employee is irreplaceable or indispensable. If being let go is the worst-case scenario, how do you walk into a review for the best-case scenario?  The same way, prepared.

 

Excerpt from the book “RESUME DNA – Succeeding In Spite Of Yourself” by John Singer (amazon.com / barnesandnoble.com)

Resume DNA Cover

Notes of Author:  John Singer is President/CEO of PDS, Tuscon, AZ   pdscareers.com[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

Your #Career : Here’s Why #Facebook is Bad for You & Your Career…You might Think you’ve Earned a Few Minutes on Facebook after Completing a Task or Getting Through a Meeting, but Taking Frequent Social Media Breaks Can Derail your Productivity.

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It probably happens before you even realize it. One minute you’re in the middle of a work project and the next, you’re mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook timeline, Twitter news feed, or even your LinkedIn connections to see if there’s a colleague you haven’t yet connected with. In some cases, you don’t even remember opening a new tab and navigating to the social media site, and there’s not even a new notification waiting for you because this is the second time in an hour you’ve done this. Not only should this habit be slightly concerning on a personal level, but it also has the potential to be a huge detriment to your professional goals. You might think you’ve earned a few minutes on Facebook after completing a task or getting through a meeting, but taking frequent social media breaks can derail your productivity.

Free- Business Desk

We’ve written before about the dangers of using social media too much, especially Facebook. Social media can distort your perceptions of your friends, affect your mood in ways you don’t even realize, and is even linked to an uptick in depressive tendencies. An article from Psych Central summarizes a number of studies that have expounded on this idea. Using social media too much can often have a negative effect on a person’s self-esteem, especially since people tend to only post the best aspects of their lives on social media. The excessive use of Facebook and other social media sites is also linked to an increase in anxiety and trouble sleeping. In other words, you tend to get uptight and on edge after staring at your news feed for too long, so it’s no wonder that it’s a bad idea to spend your work breaks on the sites.

 

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Social media’s ‘distracted norm’

Avoiding social media during the workday has made several lists about how to be more productive in the workplace, and it’s not just because they occasionally have negative effects. For some people, checking Facebook regularly won’t lead to negative feelings. But even if you’re immune to social media, checking social media throughout the day is still bound to be a professional pitfall.

There’s a new ‘distracted norm’ in almost every sphere of life now, including the workplace, writes Forbes contributor Frances Booth. The author has written extensively about digital distractions, particularly in the workplace, and has found that phones buzzing in pockets, the easy accessibility of email, and even the habit of surfing the Internet lead to decreased productivity at work, even if you’re doing your best to ignore those digital distractions while on the clock. In one article, Booth asks how long it typically takes for you to switch from a focused work task to a distraction — with email or Facebook the common culprits. Is it an hour? Thirty minutes? Or is it (more likely) quick bursts of 10 minutes or less?

The larger issue here, Booth argues, is that easy work tasks get accomplished within a few minutes. You can easily reply to one quick email, post on social media for work purposes, or something else that’s relatively simple. But more complex work issues either get pushed to the side, or take way longer than they should. “If a task is too difficult or too boring, instead of working through this and sticking with it, the easy answer is to turn to a distraction,” she writes.
Number of Active Social Media Users by Network | FindTheCompany//

The fear, in terms of work productivity, is that innovation and creativity requires deep thinking. This means you can’t be turning to a distraction every five minutes. You need to sit with a problem, think about it for yourself before turning to Google to answer it for you, and be willing to work through an issue for multiple hours at a time. A Facebook dependency won’t help you accomplish that. “Giving in to distraction produces half-formed thoughts, unoriginal thinking, and the same old arguments again and again,” Booth argues.

Facebook has more than 1.4 billion users worldwide, so it’s easy to make that site the bad guy in all of this. But it’s not the only platform that leads to distraction, and it makes up just a part of what behavior science expert James Clear refers to as “digital procrastination.” Clear, in an interview with Entrepreneur, says that digital procrastination is a productivity killer, but it also can negatively affect other decision-making long after the work day is finished.

Fighting social media = less willpower

The reason is because you likely know you shouldn’t be checking Facebook every half hour during the day, so you try to resist the pull of social media while at work. But you’re using up a lot of your willpower to do that, which means you’re vulnerable later in the day to try to resist other bad habits you’re trying to break, like smoking or eating that second piece of cake. “Willpower is like a muscle,” Clear explains. “Every time you use a little bit of it — to resist going to Facebook or BuzzFeed or whatever it is — you’re flexing that muscle. By the end of the day…your willpower fades.”

Entrepreneur suggests trying an app like Freedom, which blocks social media sites and other select websites during the work day (or whatever timeframe you set up for yourself) so that you have no choice but to stay on task. Freedom charges a fee to use its services, but others like Cold Turkey have free options. “It takes the decision making out of your hands,” Clear said.

While we’re on the topic of work breaks, though, keep in mind that research does show that more frequent breaks for smaller amounts of time does help productivity throughout your work day. One study found that productive people often work for 52 consecutive minutes, and then take a break for about 17. Those might be arbitrary numbers, but give it a try to see if a similar breakdown works for you. Just opt for a quick walk or a chat with a coworker instead of logging into Facebook to see whose birthday it is.

 

CheatSheet.com | March 3, 2016 | 

Your #Career : The Top 6 Things You Should Never Tolerate In Your Career…If you Think you Have to Compromise on Any of the These in Order to be Employed or Build a Successful Career, I Hope this Article will Get you to Think Again.

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People mistakenly believe that in these tough economic times they have to give up on their values and integrity to stay employed, but that’s simply not true. Those who are guided by a strong sense of integrity fare much better in professional life, and will be successful where others fail.

Free- Flower Sprouting

Before launching my own coaching firm, I spent 18 years in corporate life, in publishing, marketing and membership services. I rose to the level of VP, and managed global initiatives, sizable staffs and multimillion-dollar budgets. Some of it was fulfilling, and I was considered “successful.” But much of it, especially at the end, was not good, healthy, positive or rewarding. In fact, the last few years of corporate work were full of toxicity. From backstabbing colleagues, to substandard leadership, to unethical practices, there were things I witnessed and participated in that, today, I would never, for a second, tolerate or accept. I’ve grown up.

In my career coaching work over 10,000 professionals in 10 years, I see every day in their lives and careers these same challenges repeated over and over – that they’ve compromised themselves and their integrity to get a paycheck, to keep a job, to be promoted, or to achieve what they think is success or financial “security.” And it’s making them depressed, ill and disillusioned. But six of these challenges rise to the top as the most egregious and damaging.

Here are the top 6 things you should never tolerate in your work or career.

1- Allowing someone to abuse or harass you

 There was one experience I faced in my corporate life that could only be called sexual harassment. One executive two levels above me made personal, sexually inappropriate requests and suggestions to me that made me terribly uncomfortable, and were way beyond acceptable. The implication was that if I did what he suggested, he would favor me and send important, lucrative business my way (worth millions).

It was one of the toughest periods of my professional life because I simply had no idea how to successfully navigate through it. If I said “no” to him, my business (and I) would be hurt, as he was known to make life difficult for people who didn’t do what he said. If I complained to HR (whom I didn’t trust), I would be hurt there too, because he was deeply ensconced in the company and wouldn’t be reprimanded. In the end I declined his suggestions, but I’ll never forget how victimized and trapped I felt.

What to do instead? Never allow someone to abuse or harass you. Ever. Get outside help immediately if this happens, and obtain the expert support and guidance you need to help you navigate through these challenges with the help of someone with power and authority in your corner.

What are you tolerating that you’re ready to say “no” to?

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2- Giving up everything for money

Money – and our relationship with it — is a topic that’s spawned millions of books, articles and seminars. Many struggle each day with maintaining a healthy balance and appropriate power dynamic with money, and many fail. Countless professionals give up their souls for money – not because they are necessarily struggling to pay the bills, but often because they’ve become enslaved by their lifestyle and the need to impress (and their need to feed their sense of worthiness through money). These folks have forgotten what they’re capable of, and that they’re here at this time not to just pay the bills, acquire things, and keep up with the Joneses. I’m not saying that fulfilling your financial obligations isn’t important – it is. I am saying that you are much more than your paycheck or bank account. And you can find work that both feeds your soul AND brings you the money you need.

What to do instead? Get out of denial and recognize when you’ve sacrificed your soul for money. It’s clear when it’s happened – you’re in a painful, debilitating state that you can’t ignore, and no amount of money will heal it. (Here’s more about transforming your wealth programming.)

3- Abandoning your self-respect

Recently, a client of mine shared this:

 “I’m feeling so much pressure to be the kind of manager and leader I dislike intensely. I’m not allowed to spend my time developing people, or to give them the training and help I want to give them, to support their growth. I’m told I have to manage and behave in a certain way that feels really wrong for me, and I just don’t know what to do about it. When I push for what I believe is right, I’m either ignored, shut down, or I’m not considered a team player. I don’t like who I’ve become here.”

I’ve lived this too – that the way I was expected to behave, communicate and act in a certain corporate culture – as a manager or a leader – made me lose all self-respect.

What to do instead? If you feel that you’ve lost your self-respect, you need to make some significant shifts in how you are operating in the world and what you’re allowing. Often we’re in this situation because we don’t understand the tremendous value we offer, or the great talents and skills we possess. We see only what’s at the tip of our nose, and not the bigger picture of who we are and can be in the working world. If this resonates with you, you’ll need to learn how to honor yourself more deeply, and adhere to what you believe and know. If you can’t do that in your current job, start interviewing and find a better job that’s a better fit. It’s doable but you have to start.

4- Lowering your standards of integrity

I view “standards of integrity” as core principles and values that guide our behavior. Integrity is a choice, and while it is influenced by a myriad of factors (your culture, upbringing, peer influences, etc.), if you behave in ways that are out of alignment with your integrity, you’ll suffer. One who has strong and well-defined standards of integrity behaves with wholeness, integration, honesty, and does right by himself/herself and by others. Standards of integrity involve values and virtues such as honesty, kindness, trust, wisdom, loyalty, transparency, objectivity, acceptance, openness, empathy, and graciousness.

In these past few years, I’ve witnessed so many people in midlife awaken as if from a deep sleep to realize that they’ve compromised their most core values in order to get ahead in their work or retain jobs they hate. It hurts them to realize that they’ve walked away from who they are, and what they value and cherish most.

 What to do instead? Identify your top values (here’s a great values exercise, courtesy of the Connecticut Women’s Business Development Council) and begin to honor those more deeply in all the work you do. Move away from work and people who don’t align with your top values.

5- Disregarding your health and well-being

In my teleclasses and workshops, I see hundreds of high-level professional women who are brilliant, achievement-oriented and accomplished, but at the same time exhausted, depleted, and depressed. In the pursuit of a great career, they’ve compromised their health and well-being. Much of this has to do with the ever-complicated issue of work-life balance and how to stay competitive and ahead of the curve. But to me, it’s much more. Sacrificing your health and well-being demonstrates your lack of prioritizing yourself as important, failing to understand that you need to care and restore for yourself every day – and yes,put yourself first — before you can be of true service to anyone else, your business, your family or your employer. If your body is shutting down, diseased or debilitated because of how you work, rapid change is needed.

What to do instead?  Find ways to be kinder and more caring to yourself, with behaviors you can sustain over time. Start putting yourself first rather than last. Read Gretchen Rubin’s great book Better Than Before to learn more about your personal tendencies that shape how you see the world, and how you can build healthier, life-nourishing habits that lead to a happier life.

6- Ignoring your life purpose

Finally, the saddest professionals I’ve met haven’t taken the time to uncover their passions, or identify what gives their life meaning and purpose. I’m continually stunned when, in my Amazing Career Project course, members share that they don’t have a clue what they’re passionate or even excited about in life. If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, or understand the amazing talents you possess that you can leverage to make a difference in the world, you simply can’t build a career that will bring joy and fulfillment.

What to do instead?  Begin to think about what you’d like your legacy to be. What do you want to be able to say about yourself when you’re 90 years old looking back — what you’ve stood for, given, taught, imparted, and left behind. Not what you dreamed of being, but what you have been. Think about the impact you want to make – on your family, friends, community and the world.

In addition, think about what you do each day that you can’t not do, even when you’re not getting paid for it. (Thanks to Gretchen Rubin for reminding me of this yesterday). For me, for instance, I love to write, explore ideas, problem-solve, help others, learn about what makes humans tick, and use my voice in a public way (I’m a singer as well as a speaker). What you can’t NOT do is a clue to what gives your life juice, purpose and meaning.

So many professionals forget that they have this one chance to build a life that’s meaningful and purposeful for them.   Instead, they compromise their potential impact and legacy in a vain effort to grasp “success,” accolades, security, or power. (If you want to clarify your own desired legacy, values, passions, standards of integrity and more, take my Career Path Self-Assessment).

* * * * *

If you think you have to compromise on any of the above in order to be employed or build a successful career, I hope you’ll think again. I’ve lived the pain of losing myself in the processing of building my professional life. I finally learned that, despite all our best efforts, you can never create the success, fulfillment and reward you long for if you to say “no” to who you really are.

What are you tolerating that you’re ready to say “no” to?

 

Forbes.com | January 30, 2016 | Kathy Caprino

 

Your #Career : How To Wow A Job Interviewer When Changing Careers…The Trick is to Convince an Employer that your “Old” Skills/Experiences Can be Just as or even More Valuable in a New Industry or Role.

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According to a new AARP survey, four out of 10 experienced workers will be looking for a job this year, and of those, a quarter are considering a complete career change. If you’re one of those eager to change careers in 2016, what can you do to improve your odds of success?

Free- Budding Vine

The trick is to convince an employer that your “old” skills and experiences can be just as — or even more — valuable in a new industry or role. Or, as my colleague Kathryn Sollmann, founder of the career advisory firm 9 Lives for Women (and an expert on women’s career change issues), puts it: “You can change industries when you connect the dots.”

The Connect the Dots Approach
I find Sollmann’s “connect the dots” approach spot-on (pardon the pun).

Once you thoroughly research your desired field, learn its lingo and identify commonalities between your previous experiences and your target employer’s needs, you’ll know which accomplishments and experiences to highlight during the interview process and on your resumé. In turn, you’ll be more likely to convince prospective hiring managers that your skills really do transfer well.

“The fact is that it’s easier for employers to settle into default mode and hire cookie-cutter candidates who all have the same background and experience. The trick is to remind employers that quick studies can learn the language of a new industry. Then through research and networking, prove you know the very specific ways your skills can be transferred to get the job done.”

In her instructive blog post detailing this “connect the dots” method, Sollmann shared the steps she took early in her career to progress from being a newly minted college grad with an English degree (aka Unemployment 101) to a job editing and writing training programs for a Big 8 accounting firm to tripling her salary in a job as a conference organizer for an investment publication.

 

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To summarize, Sollmann successfully made the leap between industries by doing two key things:

She thoroughly researched the specific needs of employers in her target industry.

She carefully reframed her experience in a way that proved to employers that her skills and experiences were relevant to their industry.

In other words, she made it really easy for employers to understand why they needed her.Continued from page 1

“I didn’t just say that I had the research, writing and event planning skills to do the job. I connected the dots, showing that the way I applied skills to responsibilities X, Y and Z for the training job would be applied the same way to do A, B and C in the conference-planning job,” writes Sollmann.

How to Research and Network Well

Research and networking are especially critical before you enter a job interview to change careers; they’ll help you know what to say to convince the interviewer that your seemingly inappropriate background is actually a great fit.

So I asked Sollmann how to dig up what you need to persuade an employer in another field to hire you. Here’s her advice:

Identify through LinkedIn, school alumni networks, and elsewhere a few people who work in the field you want to switch into. Then, ask for a 15-minute phone appointment with each to help you understand how you can prove that your skills are transferable.

 Before you meet for this informational interview, distill your expertise into three or four major skill areas. Then, during your talk, bring up a major project or initiative you worked on that exemplified these skills and ask about parallels to the initiatives where these contacts work.

Some questions you might want to ask during your phone calls:

  • How is your type of expertise used where they work?
  • Did most of the employees “grow up” at this employer?
  • Does the firm or nonprofit value having employees with varying professional backgrounds and perspectives?
  • Can you connect me with someone who was hired from an entirely different industry so I can find out how they adapted?

Cutting Through the Cookie Cutter Mentality

If this sounds like a lot of work, well, it is. But this informational-interview research will increase your likelihood of finding appropriate job opportunities and help you make your strongest case to hiring managers.

As Sollmann concludes in her post: “The fact is that it’s easier for employers to settle into default mode and hire cookie-cutter candidates who all have the same background and experience. The trick is to remind employers that quick studies can learn the language of a new industry. Then through research and networking, prove you know the very specific ways your skills can be transferred to get the job done.”

Good luck with your career switch in 2016!

 

Forbes.com |  January 25, 2016 | Nancy Collamer, CONTRIBUTOR

 

Your #Career : 4 Mistakes That Are Sabotaging Your Work-Life Balance…Do you Practically Live at Work? Better question: Do you Constantly Think about your Work away from Work (i.e. home, vacations, family gathering, etc.) ?

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Achieving a healthy balance between work and your personal life is possible, but it can be difficult. If you want to overcome those difficulties, you’ll have to make an effort to put an end to some of your bad habits. It’s possible you could be standing in your own way.

Free- Lock on Fence

Here are four behaviors you must change if you want to create symmetry between your work and personal life.

1. Not using your vacation days

Failing to use vacation time will leave you stressed out, overwhelmed, and more likely to make mistakes on the job. While you may be concerned about returning to a pile of work, you need time to recharge. Research published by Project Time Off found that employees are also hesitant to take vacation because they fear they will be seen as replaceable. Furthermore, employees are leaving vacation days on the table in response to concerns they will be seen as less dedicated to their company.

 However, the results of giving in to these fears and concerns can have negative effects on your overall well-being. Studies have found that overwork can make you sick. If you want to have a more balanced life, it will be important for you to get away from the office from time to time. You’ll be happier, healthier, and have more energy to enjoy life.

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2. Relying too heavily on technology

Technology is a great way to stay on top of your work and communicate with co-workers, but it can rob you of sleep and productivity. Between answering emails all day and constantly checking your mobile phone for updates, it can be hard to get quality down time or rest. A Bank of America trends report found that 71% of respondents sleep with their smartphones and about 23% fall asleep with their devices still in their hand. Set aside some time each day where you abandon all the tech in your life. Resisting the impulse to stay connected 24 hours a day will help you have more peace of mind.

3. Saying ‘yes’ when you should be saying ‘no’

You don’t have to accept every special project or do every favor that comes your way. It is important to set boundaries so you can avoid spending every waking moment at work. While being a team player is great, you also have to recognize when you are being stretched too thin.

“Keep in mind that being overloaded is individual. Just because your co-worker can juggle 10 committees with seeming ease doesn’t mean you should be able to. Only you can know what’s too much for you,” said the Mayo Clinic.

4. Not planning ahead

Your work will start to melt into your personal life if you don’t engage in proper planning. One way to achieve some sense of balance is to draft a to-do list. This list will keep you on track and help you make room for things outside of work.

“At its most basic form, planning is nothing more than figuring out how you will get from one place to another. Every day people plan: people make a list of things to buy at the grocery store, workers determine the best route to travel to and from work each day, and we plan out how to finance that new car,” said management expert John R. Knotts.

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 CheatSheet.com | January 2016 |  

Your #Career : New Year, New Strategy, New Job…So the Good News for Job Seekers is that Many People are Looking & Planning to Leave their Current Positions, which in Turn Creates Turnover

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Whether you are thinking about finding a new job or contemplating a career shift to another field, the start of a new year is actually a good time to embark upon your search. Making a career change ranks high on many people’s list of New Year’s resolutions. A large spike in people searching on-line job boards, reaching out to contacts on various social platforms, and applying for new positions has marked the first week in January during the last three years.

Free- Lock in Door

So the good news for job seekers is that many people are looking and planning to leave their current positions, which in turn creates turnover and an enormous number of openings. The number of people leaving their jobs voluntarily in the U.S. has been increasing steadily. Once the impact of these resignations is felt, many companies will be searching for new talent to fill these vacant slots and it is expected to create a very robust job market in a wide range of industries.

There is also a sense that this year, more young and mid-level professionals will be looking for the “next” job or making a change, faster than previous generations. As Millennials are now the largest generation represented in the work-place, there is a great deal of evidence to suggest that Gen Y professionals get “job restless” quickly, especially if they feel under-valued, perceive that they don’t have enough visibility, and don’t feel that they are challenged and are learning enough from their current employer. Quite frankly, even if they are happy and like the people they work with, Millennials are often seeking to make a change because they have FOMO (fear of missing out) more than any other generation in history.

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Whether you are part of this demographic or not, all of this means an extremely positive outlook for would-be job seekers. So now that the conditions are positive for your job search, how do you make it happen? What will it really take? Here are some tips that should help you land a great new job in the New Year: 

  1. First, even though there are positive conditions for job seekers, don’t be over confident and make the mistake of under preparing or under estimating the amount of time and energy a true job search takes.
  2. Do your research when you are applying for jobs and demonstrate a real interest and knowledge of the employer. Elevate this to an even higher level of preparation for an interview. Recruiters are completely turned off when you don’t even know what the company does.
  3. Make sure that you have “good job search habits”. What I mean by this is that you should view your search as a job that you literally get up for each day of the week, get dressed and get to work. You set goals for the day of applying for positions that aren’t random, but you are truly interested in and qualified for and you keep a record of these and dates to follow up. You reach out to a number of contacts in your network and set up as many calls and “coffees” as possible.
  4. If you haven’t already, establish an email account that is professional and can handle large files. If you have been using your nickname @ AOL AOL +%, it’s time to set up a Gmail or similar large email account with your real name.
  5. Make sure you name your resume with your actual name, not “my resume”. You would be shocked at how many job seekers don’t do this and then wonder why they never hear back on a job they seem qualified for. It’s often because recruiters can’t find them.
  6. Master social. Utilize social media in strategic ways. Find companies and organizations that you are interested in and follow them on Twitter TWTR +0.00% andLinkedIn LNKD +0.00% and comment appropriately. Look out for tweets or job announcements and follow up.
  7. Utilize your college/university connections. The career center, alumni relations, and LinkedIn university pages are fantastic ways to find alumni from your Alma Mater who may be working in companies or industries that you are interested in. They can often offer advice and support as well as help connect you to additional opportunities.
  8. Speaking of networking, do it in person as well as online. Getting in front of people and being able to articulate what you are interested in, and a little about your background in a short amount of time (60-90 seconds), is an important “pitch” strategy to develop.
  9. Always be ready. Whether it’s a phone call, text, or other communication. In other words don’t pick up the phone if you are half asleep or at some loud social gathering. Rather, let the call go to your professional voice mailbox and then call the recruiter back when you have had a cup a coffee and are in a quiet area with strong cell phone reception.
  10. Keep up your energy, determination, and positive attitude. Job searching can be a very humbling experience, but no one wants to hire someone who appears frustrated and desperate.  Demonstrating your genuine interest and enthusiasm are key. Exercise, get plenty of sleep and talk to friends and job search professionals to get encouragement, vent and keep up your spirits.Depending on what positions and organizations you are applying for, your geographic location, and your flexibility, job searches can take a while. The good news is that there is a great deal of movement and opportunity on the horizon, and if you follow these tips, you can land that great new job in 2016.

    Forbes.com | January 13, 2016 | Trudy Steinfeld @nyuwasserboss