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#Leadership : #WorkPlace -We Need to Change the Conversation Around Motherhood and Work.

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Motherhood, by definition, is all-encompassing. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only thing that defines you. I’m an entrepreneur, and I’m always pushing boundaries. I’m also a mother.

While I love my sons fiercely, motherhood is not my only defining trait. Like many mothers, I am so much more. We’re badass career women, dreamers, creators, partners, homemakers, business builders, mentors, and leaders. The role of “mother” is one I’ll never outgrow, but I’ll always remember that there was a point when all of us were something else. It’s something that society often forgets when we become a mom.

THE CHALLENGES OF BEING A MOTHER TODAY

Some things will never change about motherhood. But many things make 2019 a different time to be a parent than previous generations. For starters, we have more tools and information at our disposal. In the U.S., we have more laws in place to protect our time while pregnant, take leave from work, and breastfeed than in previous generations. But we still lag behind the rest of the developed world, and those rights don’t speak to the core of the challenges inherent for mothers, especially those that choose to work.

The isolation and identity shift that come each time a mother has a baby has a profound impact on her life.  As an entrepreneur in the parent-tech space, I am fortunate to hear from moms and dads alike about their experiences navigating newborn and infant feeding. I’ve listened to moms whisper about why their job wouldn’t accommodate pumping milk, which forced them to stop breastfeeding before they were ready. I’ve spoken to moms who are on mute during work conference calls so that their coworkers wouldn’t hear the whir of the pump on the background. I’ve also heard dads talk about cleaning pumping parts or hearing the noise emanating from offices at work.

For others–the “lucky” ones who’ve cobbled together an arrangement that works– it’s an ongoing series of hacks. The challenges are universal and affect women at all income levels, though there is undoubtedly a considerable disparity between women in blue collar and white collar jobs. Even stay-at-home moms often choose to isolate themselves during pumping time, and we shouldn’t minimize or ignore the effort and strain involved in this forced isolation.

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WE’VE MADE PROGRESS, BUT WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO

Despite the progress in paid parental leave law and offices adding lactation rooms, moms who breastfeed still face a stark gender pay gap. Moms give up breastfeeding because they can’t find time to pump on the job. Some moms speak up about breastfeeding rights and face retaliation, or even lose their jobs.

We need to make the motherhood experience better for moms. For too long, we’ve overlooked the fact that moms are people too–with unique needs–and a fully formed person from well before they had children. Here are three ways we can do that.

1. WE NEED TO SHIFT THE CONVERSATION

What’s working for moms and what isn’t? What support do moms need to make the choices they want? If moms want to breastfeed and keep working, what is holding them back? Do the right tools even exist yet? Are we doing all we can to ensure advances in technology are reaching every woman?

The challenges around breast pumps weren’t even really part of the conversation before 2014. We’ve made plenty of progress since then, but there is still a massive opportunity to do better. Statistics help and uplifting stories do wonders for the soul, but we need to continue to raise our voices on these topics. More importantly, we can’t leave this work and conversation to mothers alone. There are real-world impacts here, in terms of societal benefits, economic improvements, and something that has the potential to impact an entire generation. There is plenty of evidence that shows how offering paid parental leave helps companies retain and attract the best people. Creating a culture that is inclusive to all employees–including working mothers–makes companies more innovative.

2. WE NEED TO FOCUS ON MEETING THE NEEDS OF MOMS

I know I’m biased because I run a company that is building new parent-tech products, but we need to stop making outdated assumptions about mothers. Companies also need to ask moms what they actually want before designing products for them.

Let’s take the breast pump as an example of a piece of technology that isn’t getting the job done. No one wants to hear the whir of the pump through cubicle walls or over the phone, and not everyone wants to strip down in their workplace. A quiet pump, controllable by an app, with a small enough breast shield to fit in a nursing bra, goes a long way toward easing that experience.

3. WE NEED TO STOP SEEING PARENTING AS A MOTHER’S ISSUE

Parenting should concern dads, partners, grandparents, workplaces, healthcare experts, and legislators. There are many issues surrounding parenting that transcend party lines: returning to work, childcare, feeding, and work-life balance. We can’t isolate mothers as the ones to be the primary beneficiaries and victims here. Too often, we minimize the experience of dads and partners. Creating better products for mothers helps the entire family–as does closing the pay gap between working mothers and working fathers. If we want more parents to feel supported in their choices during the early childhood years, then we have to deepen the pool of people who feel invited to sit at the decision-making table.

We’re living in an age of unprecedented flow of information and adaptation of technology. More people feel empowered to come up with creative solutions to the obstacles of parenting. But we can’t do it alone. To make significant progress, we have to work together and change the conversation. That means seeing mothers as more than just mothers, and acknowledging that their identity outside of being a parent is just as important.

Author: Samantha Rudolph is the cofounder and CEO of Babyation. 

 

FastCompany.com | May 29, 2019

Your #Career : Hate Your Job? 5 Problems That Are in Every Workplace…If you Hate your Job, you’re Definitely Not Alone. More than a Quarter of the American Workforce is Thinking about Changing Jobs this Year, with 15% of Americans Actively Seeking a New Gig.

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Do you wake up each week day, trying to decide if this is the day you’ll call in sick? Maybe you daydream about walking into your boss’s office, telling him to shove it, and sauntering out with your box of things and new found freedom.  Perhaps you’ve taken a look at your budget and realize you can’t quit without finding a replacement job, but you’re keeping an eye on your LinkedIn alumni pages for potential job postings.

happy young business man portrait in bright modern office indoor

If you hate your job, you’re definitely not alone. More than a quarter of the American workforce is thinking about changing jobs this year, with 15% of Americans actively seeking a new gig. You probably feel that your situation is unique, and that no one can really understand your workplace frustrations. And while each problem does have its own nuances, it’s likely that your problems at work are similar to those in many other offices across the country.

It might not solve your problem, but it could make your frustration a little easier to swallow – at least while you decide if you’re calling it quits or going to stick it out with hopes of improvement. Take a look at these workplace issues you’ll find almost everywhere, along with some tips for how to deal with them.

1. Your paycheck isn’t fair

There’s a reason we’ve seen protests at McDonald’s and CEOs giving out $70,000 minimum wages – many people realize that income inequality in the United States is a real problem. Whether it’s an issue of gender or because a newly minted CEO gobbled up all of the money allotted for raises this year, many Americans feel their paycheck isn’t representative of their worth.

As it stands now, CEOs earn about $373 for every $1 an underling takes home. Sure, CEOs are likely putting in longer hours, have more experience, and in general deserve a higher paycheck for leading the company. But it’s a harder pill to swallow when most employee wages have moved like molasses in Antarctica recently.

Low wages have consistently been a top concern for American workers since 2011, one Gallup survey shows. And even though we’ve made it through the Great Recession and most things point to recovery, about 20% of Americans are still worried their wages will be reduced, not increased.

Though making the same salary or wage five years in a row can be disheartening, there are signs that companies are beginning to promote from within at a higher rate – meaning if you’ve remained loyal to your company and have proven yourself, there’s still hope you could get a raise if you play your cards right. If you’re skeptical about your chances of that happening, it might be time to job hop. According to experts, it can be one of the best ways to boost your salary.

 

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2. You do your job differently than your co-worker

“Teamwork” might not be your favorite workplace vocabulary word, but in most cases you’ll need to rely on it to some degree to be successful. You might be working toward the same goal as your co-worker, but it’s likely that you’ll each approach the work somewhat differently.

Part of this could be based on which type of team player you are: You might be task-oriented, while your co-worker is someone who challenges everything and looks at improving the bigger picture. Those traits don’t always come together seamlessly, which can make projects a delicate balance of work personalities.

In addition, you might earn your salary by staying late most days, while another colleague packs up their stuff at 5 p.m. on the nose. Your boss might not care as long as the work gets done, but it can be difficult to keep workplace harmony when you stick a bunch of people with different work philosophies into neighboring cubicles. (Think of Angela Martin and Michael Scott in The Office – there’s probably not a bigger difference out there.)

You can’t control how your co-workers interact with yourself or others, but you can make sure you’re above reproach. Make sure you’re up to date on any necessary skills or trainings, so you pull your own weight in the office. Also be willing to pitch in to help a co-worker – even if the task isn’t in your job description. If you’re vigilant about your own to-do list and are generally easy to work with, it won’t matter what time you leave the office.

Desperate businesswoman not knowing how to save the day

3. Your desk mate is the Type A to your Type B

It’s reality that most businesses need a variety of personality types to run efficiently. You need the guy talking incessantly about March Madness at the water cooler to incorporate levity, just like you need the buttoned-up executive to make sure the bills (and the salaries) get paid on time.

Work styles are one thing, but personality clashes are quite another. This is more than a difference in work philosophies, since it’s at the core of who you are as people. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t coexist in an office just because you’re laid back and your colleague is more tightly wound than a Tesla coil. There’s a reason why some experts say personality tests should not be used, especially for pre-hiring decisions. In most cases being introverted or extroverted will have very little bearing on how well you can actually do your job, and tests are somewhat unreliable in the first place.

In addition, there’s a big difference between being able to get along at work and actually wanting to grab a beer with a colleague after hours. You don’t have to be best buddies with the guy who sits a few feet from you, but it is in your best interest to have a pleasant relationship, even if it’s strictly from the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. each weekday. Research shows that you’re 40% more likely to receive a promotion if you can get along with your co-workers. Talk about your mutual love for a sports team or certain band, or simply use the manners your mother taught you. Either way, master the methods for getting along with your co-workers that work best for you.

4. You never get time off

If the last time you had a “vacation” day was when you took off to get a root canal, you’re probably more than a little frustrated with your position. This is true even if you’re a self-described workaholic who chooses to forgo a break – your body needs a breather from the stress work often creates.

Whether you work in an office culture that frowns upon using your vacation days or if you simply can’t find a way to escape for a few days, not getting adequate time off is a problem for many employees. About 42% of employees didn’t take any vacation days in 2014, fearing the pile of work they would have upon returning, or believing they would be viewed as expendable, among other concerns.

But the bottom line is this: You need that time off, so find a way to take it. Otherwise, you risk a greater chance ofsuffering a stroke or shaving a few years off your life. Plus, there’s ample evidence to show that taking a break leads to greater productivity in the long run, which is why it’s a good idea for both you and your boss to sign off on larger breaks. In fact, that’s part of the reason why mandatory vacation time might be more common in the future.

In the weeks or months between your days off, make sure you find other ways to destress. That could mean getting in some exercise on your lunch break, or trying out meditation or other relaxation techniques. Whatever works for you, make sure you find a way to chill out and give yourself some space in the midst of a busy week.

5. You have an unbearable, toxic co-worker

Some jobs are toxic in and of themselves, simply because of the job requirements or office culture. Thankfully, that’s not usually the case, but you can almost guarantee that at least one person in your office should come with a hazmat warning because of their unpleasant demeanor.

Maybe you have a co-worker or two who you worry isn’t on the same team as you – they’ll stomp on anyone to get ahead. Maybe your break room has become like a soap opera, thanks to your gossipy colleague. In those cases, it’s best not to engage. Negativity only breeds additional contempt, and if you get involved it will likely be difficult to escape unscathed.

In some cases, you might have become that toxic co-worker without even realizing it. If you’re typically isolated from the rest of your co-workers, your work life reads like a tabloid because of all the drama, or you refuse to take responsibility for any missteps, it’s likely that you’re the workplace plague. Instead of digging yourself deeper, work on some leadership techniques that will add to the office culture instead of detracting from it. Who knows? It could even lead to a promotion if you show enough improvement – which might make you hate your job a little less.

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CheatSheet.com | May 19, 2016 | Nikelle Murphy

#Leadership : Why We Seem To Be Talking More And Working Less — The Nature Of Work Has Changed….The Real Reason That we Communicate More is Because, Today, we Need to Collaborate More to Be Effective.

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Are communication technologies like Slack, Yammer and Skype actually helping us, or just getting in the way? Certainly, they have made it easier to communicate, share information and collaborate with colleagues, but what if all that extra communication is actually preventing us from getting important work done?

Free- Iphone with Gadgets

In a recent article in Harvard Business Review, Bain & Co. partner Michael Mankins estimates that while a typical executive in the 1970’s might have received 1,000 messages a year, that number has skyrocketed to more than 30,000 today and argues that we may “have reached the point of diminishing returns.”

I think just about everyone can see his point. Today, the amount of meetings, emails and IM’s we receive can seem overwhelming and it’s increasingly hard to find uninterrupted quiet time to focus and concentrate. However, the nature of work has changed. The real reason that we communicate more is because, today, we need to collaborate more to be effective.

 

Today, Machines Do A Lot Of The Work For Us

First, consider how different work was 20 years ago, when Microsoft had just released Windows 95 and few executives regularly used programs like Word, Excel and PowerPoint. We largely communicated by phone and memos typed up by secretaries. Data analysis was something you did with a pencil, paper and a desk calculator.

Now consider how Mankins performed the study he described in the article. He writes, “My colleagues at Bain and I have studied these effects using people analytics and data mining tools.” It’s safe to assume that all that data was collected and analyzed electronically and shared instantly with the press of a button.

It’s also safe to assume that he and his colleagues spent quite a bit of time discussing what the results of all that analysis meant. 20 years ago, they would have had to set up a meeting or a phone call when they were all free, but today, they can toss around ideas between meetings, in airport lounges or even while waiting for an elevator.

As Mankins himself wrote in an earlier article, “Today, an algorithm can assemble many more facts about the accounts than any human being could easily process.” The truth is that we’re increasingly collaborating with machines to get cognitive work done and so it shouldn’t be surprising that we’re taking more time to discuss that work with each other.

 

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Problems Are Becoming Much More Complex

Another thing to take into account is that the work we do today is far more complex. Would Mankins have even undertaken his study without the “people analytics and data mining tools” made available to him today? Possibly, but it would have been significantly more onerous.

It’s also important to note that the trend toward greater communication is not just visible in industry, but in academia as well, where we can assume that researchers have more options to work quietly and without interruption. Yet they are increasingly choosing to work in teams and those teams outperform solo performers.

The journal Nature recently noted that the average scientific paper today has four times as many authors as one did in 1950 and the work they are doing is far more interdisciplinary and done at greater distances than in the past. It’s hard to see how any of that could happen without the improved communication technologies we enjoy today.

Clearly, technology is enabling us to tackle problems we wouldn’t have dreamed of addressing a generation ago. To work on these challenges, we are increasingly collaborating in teams and our work has become more social and less cognitive.

The Value Of Sharing Information

In the past, communication was often just chit chat. Valuable information was locked away in file cabinets and, if we could find it, we would have to make a hard copy in order to share it with anyone else. Yet today, even teenager with a smartphone has more access to information than a highly trained specialist a generation ago.

For a typical executive, the effect has been even greater. The new technologies that make up the Internet of Things collect information automatically from a vast array of sensors embedded in just about anything you can think of. This data, in turn, is analyzed through the use of other technologies, like Hadoop and Spark, to help us make sense of it.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that we’re discussing all of the information we now have access to. We can glean new insights, share them with others and they can reply with insights of their own. The result of this collaboration is often even more collaboration, as we pull people in with a greater diversity of experience and expertise to get their take.

That doesn’t seem like wasted time to me. The truth is that nature of work is changing. The office is no longer a place where we access information—today, we can do that anytime, anyplace—but rather a place where we access people. It’s where we can meet face to face, communicate non-verbally as well as verbally, build stronger working relationships and collaborate more effectively.

Collaboration Is The New Competitive Advantage

To be fair to Mr. Mankins, his greater point—and the subject of much of his other writing—is that we should put more thought into how we adopt and use our newfound communication assets. Surely, we all spend time attending meetings, getting pulled into conference calls, reading and responding to messages that could be used more productively. And that’s frustrating.

However—and this is a crucial point—we don’t know those interactions will be fruitless until we actually have them. Further, while it’s easy to remember the frustration of having our time wasted, it is not much harder to recall times when we have come across a random thread of information that we were able to capitalize on by sharing with colleagues.

It is also those chance encounters that often lead to bigger things, precisely because we are able to share them, get diverse viewpoints and mobilize the efforts of others. Increasingly, we live in a social economy with collaboration at its center. It is no longer just efficiency, but agility and interoperability that makes firms successful.

So, while I take Mankins’ point about the potential for new communication technologies to unproductively monopolize our time, we shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, the cacophony of the constant barrage of communication can seem distracting at times, but it can also open up new worlds of opportunity. That is, if we are paying attention.

Greg Satell is a US based business consultant and popular speaker. You can find his blog at Digital Tonto and follow him on twitter @DigitalTonto.

Forbes.com | March 6, 2016 | Greg Satell

 

#Leadership : 5 Signs Your Leadership Style Is Too Soft…There’s Huge Pressure on Leaders to Keep Employees Engaged & Inspired & to Create Workplaces that are Fun & Fulfilling. But Sometimes these Initiatives Go too Far & Bottom-Line Business Results Suffer.

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There’s huge pressure on leaders to keep employees engaged and inspired and to create workplaces that are fun and fulfilling. But sometimes these initiatives go too far and bottom-line business results suffer. Leaders turn overly soft and are so focused on making people happy that they forget to help employees be productive and efficient.

Free- Focus on Work

There are four fundamental leadership styles: Diplomat, Pragmatist, Idealist and Steward. Leaders can be effective or ineffective within each of these four styles, but one style in particular is at the greatest risk of being too soft—the Diplomat. (There’s a leadership styles assessment to determine your own style.)

Diplomats prize interpersonal harmony. These leaders are kind, social, and giving, and typically build deep personal bonds with their employees. They’re often known for being able to resolve conflicts peacefully (and for avoiding conflicts in the first place). Working for Diplomats has been described as being more fun and social than working for other types of leaders. Diplomats put less emphasis on challenging their employees, focusing instead on putting their people in positions that leverage their strengths so they can reliably achieve success. And traditional measures of employee satisfaction are often very high for Diplomats.

As a leader you don’t ever want to stop focusing on inspiring and engaging your employees. But you do want to ensure that all the deep emotional connections you build with your employees and the level of challenge you create translate into exceptional bottom-line results. Pay attention to the warning signs, be engaging but not too accommodating, and you should achieve great success.

Working for a boss with a Diplomat leadership style can be an amazing experience. (Read more about all the leadership styles in my Forbes article“Which Of These 4 Leadership Styles Are You?”) But if any of the Diplomat characteristics sound similar to your leadership style, you want to make sure you don’t go to extremes. Here are five signs that your leadership style has become too yielding…

1. A 5-Minute Conversation Turns Into 50 Minutes

Imagine you give an employee a highly specific bit of constructive feedback (e.g. “this report is too long, shave off 1,000 words”). It’s the kind of feedback that requires no more of a response than “I got it, I’ll fix it now.” Now imagine that even though the feedback conversation should be done within 5 minutes, you find yourself engaged in a lengthy conversation with the employee about why they fell short, how that makes them feel, and why you’re somehow to blame for their mistakes.

Has that ever happened to you? If the answer is yes, that’s a good sign that you’ve become too appeasing. It’s good to encourage dialogue with your employees and it’s great when they feel comfortable sharing. But when employees believe they can talk themselves out of being criticized or held accountable, that’s a problem.

There are times when an employee just needs to say “I’m sorry. I messed up. I’ll fix it immediately.” That’s not indicative of a dictatorial environment; it’s usually just a sign of an efficient and accountable operation. There are some conversations that should be five minutes and done. So when you regularly feel like five-minute conversations are turning into 50-minute therapy sessions, that’s a strong sign that you’ve moved from approachable to acquiescent.

 

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2. Your Meetings Get Off Topic And Take Too Longg

Have you ever been in one of those meetings where a few of the big personalities just dominate the conversation? They talk louder than everyone else, including you. All you hear are their thoughts, their ideas, their yeas and their nays. The quieter employees feel totally shut out from participating. And even when you try to rein them in, they manage to barge right through and keep dominating.

Ideally meetings are value-adding forums where all invitees participate. Isn’t that why you called all those people into the meeting in the first place? Yet, when we struggle to control the loudmouths, when they don’t respect our authority (formal or otherwise), it’s a sign that we’re not being forceful or commanding enough.

Of course people should talk. Intense conversations can signal a healthy team. But there still needs to be someone in the room with enough power to keep the conversation on track, on time and thoroughly professional.

3. You Regularly Mediate Employee Conflicts (Instead Of Employees Solving Issues Themselves)

It’s troubling when a leader is regularly sucked into employee conflicts. In an ideal world, employees would act like adults and resolve conflicts themselves, reserving the boss-as-mediator for only the most serious issues. But when a leader has become too accommodating, employees quickly figure out that they plead their case to the boss and the boss will intervene on their behalf. It’s actually quite similar to the games that our kids play; whether it’s “ma, he’s looking at me funny” or playing one parent off another.

When the leader has a no-nonsense, ‘suck-it-up’ reputation, these manipulations are rare. But when the leader is seen as overly accommodating or appeasing, these games will be a frequent occurrence.

4. You See The Same Problem Multiple Times

There isn’t an organization on the planet that doesn’t have employees who make mistakes. That’s the price of doing business. But when you see employees making the same mistakes again and again, that’s often a sign that they haven’t gotten the message that they need to improve. And that’s often the result of employees believing that their gentle leader won’t really follow through on enforcing consequences.

I’m not suggesting that leaders move to the opposite extreme, where employees are risk-averse and paralyzed by fear of being fired. That’s every bit as damaging. Rather, the effective leader will find the middle ground of mistakes may be inevitable, but we all must strive to avoid making the same mistake repeatedly. Employees need to know if they don’t take their mistakes seriously, and work diligently and earnestly to improve, the consequences will be more than just a leader’s look of disappointment.

5. Employees Aren’t Learning New Things

One of the biggest leadership tests is: are your people learning new things? Because if they’re not, they’re not growing and developing and it’s a likely sign that your leadership style is too soft.

Making sure that people learn really isn’t that difficult. Once a month ask your people “Hey, what’s something you’re better at now than you were last month?” If they don’t have an answer, follow up with questions such as, “What would you like to get better at this next month?” and “What new skills are you going to have to develop this next year to reach your big goals?”

Give your people HARD Goals that challenge them and push them outside of their comfort zone and let them know that you believe they can do it. What’s interesting to think about is when you ask leaders, “What were the most significant goals you’ve ever achieved in your life, were they easy, or were they hard? The answer is always hard. And yet, those same leaders give employees too easy goals that are achievable and realistic and then wonder where the greatness is.

The best goals are not the ones that sit totally within your comfort zone. The best goals activate the brain and get the most neural activity going in a positive way. These are the goals that are 20 to 30 percent outside of your comfort zone, where you can look back on that goal and say, “Honestly, I wasn’t even totally sure I could pull that off. It was a doozy, but I’ll tell you what, I learned a ton.”

Conclusion

As a leader you don’t ever want to stop focusing on inspiring and engaging your employees. But you do want to ensure that all the deep emotional connections you build with your employees and the level of challenge you create translate into exceptional bottom-line results. Pay attention to the warning signs, be engaging but not too accommodating, and you should achieve great success.

Mark Murphy is a NY Times bestselling author, founder of Leadership IQ, aleadership training speaker and creator of the leadership styles assessment.

 

Forbes.com | February 11, 2016 | Mark Murphy