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#YourCareer : How To Deal With A Toxic Boss (And Maintain Your Sanity). Welcome your Thoughts/Suggestions?

It’s no secret that managers can make or break your experience at work. A good boss can open doors for you and help you accelerate your career, while a toxic boss can make you dread getting out of bed every single morning.

If you find yourself currently experiencing the latter, here are some suggestions to help you deal with a toxic boss while still maintaining your sanity:

Evaluate their expectations

It can be hard to know what’s expected of you when you’re dealing with a toxic boss. But, there are two ways to combat this. The first recommendation is to ask for clarity. Set up a time to have a conversation with your boss. Check in on their top priorities. Ask about their biggest challenges and how you can alleviate them. You can even get clarity on their preferred communication style, particularly if you’re working remotely.

If having a conversation isn’t an option, or if you’ve already exhausted this option, try observing your boss instead. Pay attention to how they interact with others. Take note of the things you do that spark their interest. Observe when they’re the most stressed. Surveying your boss from this perspective can help you better understand how to interact with your manager based on their actions rather than their words.

If you’re already aware of your manager’s expectations, take inventory of how well you’re meeting them. If there are areas of improvement, be vigilant about those areas. However, if you are confidently killing it at work, it’s best to move on to the other suggestions.

 

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What Skill Sets Do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Did you know?  First Sun Consulting, LLc (FSC) is celebrating over 30 years in the delivery of corporate & individual outplacement services & programs to over 1200 of our corporate clients in the U.S., Canada, UK, & Mexico!  

We here at FSC want to thank each of corporate partners in the opportunity in serving & moving each of their transitioning employee(s) rapidly toward employment !

Article continued …

Filter the feedback

Once you’re certain you’re doing your job and meeting expectations, it’s safe to assume it’s not you; it’s them. If you have a condescending, overly critical, or insecure boss, recognize that they probably behave this way in other relationships too. Once you acknowledge this, you might even notice that they treat other colleagues the same way they treat you.

So, commit to not taking their behavior personally. Practice filtering their remarks, holding on to the feedback that will help you do your job better and discarding the digs and other comments that won’t add any value to your work or performance. Another thing you can do is to source your feedback elsewhere, which leads us to the next step.

Build your tribe

Because working with a toxic boss can be frustrating and mentally draining, it’s critical to build a tribe at work that can affirm and support your work and your day-to-day experiences. When creating your tribe, you want to find allies, mentors, and sponsors. Your allies might be your team members who work closely with you and your boss. Your mentor should be someone who can help you navigate your workplace woes with wisdom. Your sponsors are those who can speak of your work in rooms you haven’t been able to enter yet and who can vouch for your performance and track record.

While it might take time and intention to establish these relationships, they are worth it, especially the relationships you create with senior leaders and executives who can offer objective feedback, raise your visibility and create new opportunities for you at work.

Fortify your confidence

Having coached many top-performing high-achievers who’ve worked at toxic workplaces, I’ve seen first-hand how those experiences can chip away at one’s confidence. Without much care, it can cause you to second-guess your skills and question your capabilities. This is why it’s essential to protect your confidence so that you don’t wake up one day wondering why you no longer believe in yourself and the skills you’ve worked so hard to master.

One way to do that is to separate your identity from your career by creating a life you enjoy outside the office. Pick up a new hobby. Spend more time with your loved ones. Get in the habit of doing something fun or relaxing after work, even if it’s just once a week. While this might be tough to do when your career is negatively bleeding into your life, it’s essential if you want to maintain your peace of mind and self-worth.

Prepare your exit

While you might be able to survive dealing with a toxic boss, if you find that it’s holding you back from thriving in your career, then it might be time to map out your next career move. If you still enjoy your current company, then this might look like exploring internal opportunities that will allow you to work with a better manager. If you don’t see any value in staying where you are, this might be a chance to start fresh elsewhere.

Sure, it might be easier to stick with the devil you know than the devil you don’t know, as the saying goes. But, giving yourself a chance to find a better working environment can positively impact your career in the long run.

It’s certainly not easy dealing with a toxic boss. Without the right perspective and boundaries in place, it can take a toll on you. But taking the time to implement these steps, whether you choose to quit or not, can help you maintain your sanity and peace of mind even on tough days.

 

Forbes.com | October 25, 2022 | Adunola Adeshola

#YourCareer :How To Deal With Toxic Personalities In Your Workplace. Deal with a Jerk(s) at Work? The Top Three Jerks at Work. A MUst REad!

When faced with a problem work mate, you can adopt the approach of one thoughtful professional who said “I’m thankful for all the difficult people in my life. They’ve shown me exactly who I don’t want to be.”

Peter Economy has made a career of studying and commenting on the workplace. You may remember him as the bestselling author of Managing for Dummies or for his leadership columns in Inc magazine. His most recent offering is Wait, I’m Working for Who?!? The Essential Guide to Dealing With Difficult Coworkers, Annoying Managers, and Other Toxic Personalities.

I visited with Peter on the challenge of bad bosses, troublemaking coworkers, lazy and time-sucking team members and other challenging personalities. He offered some excellent advice on how to manage jerk-at-work situations.

Rodger Dean Duncan: You cite research showing three out of four employees reporting that dealing with their boss is the worst and most stressful part of their job, while two thirds say they would gladly take a new boss over a pay raise. If bosses are really that bad, why are they tolerated by the organizations employing them?

Peter Economy: In some cases, bad bosses are themselves high performers—top salespeople or innovative product designers, for example—and the powers that be are afraid the company’s bottom line will suffer if they lose them. So, they do whatever they can not to lose them.

In other cases, it’s a matter of inertia. Unless an organization is totally falling apart because of the bad boss (which sometimes they do!), then dealing with the problem is not a top priority. It’s not until the organization starts losing great people who are not easily replaced that the bad boss gets dealt with. By then, the damage may already be done. As Gallup found, bad bosses are the number one reason why people quit their jobs.

Duncan: You write about 16 of “the most common jerks at work.” In terms of negative impact, what do you regard as the top three—and why?

Economy: My personal top three jerks at work are the following

  • The Complainer. We’ve all worked with someone who complains about their job, their company, their boss, their coworkers, their customers, or anyone else they can find to blame for some problem, real or imagined. Complainers suck the life out of an organization, and if tolerated by management, they can spawn other complainers.
  • The Backstabber. Some people are just mean, and when you encounter a backstabber at work, you’ve got to constantly look over your shoulder to be sure you’re not going to be the next victim. This ongoing source of distraction has a tremendously negative impact on employee engagement and effectiveness.
  • The Micromanager. One of the things that makes bad bosses bad is when they micromanage the people who work for them. In fact, a survey of 3,000 professionals conducted by LinkedIn Learning found that micromanaging was the second most frustrating trait they experienced in a manager.

Duncan: What are the most productive first two or three steps when dealing with a toxic coworker or boss?

Economy: Disconnect from the emotions you feel because they will cloud your judgment about a situation. Determine exactly what the toxic person is doing to get a reaction from you, then refuse to play their game any longer. Confront the toxic person and let them know you won’t tolerate their bad behavior. Stand up for yourself and be courageous. If you do, others will follow your example.

 

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We here at FSC want to thank each of corporate partners in the opportunity in serving & moving each of their transitioning employee(s) rapidly toward employment !

 

Article continued …

Duncan: Managing workplace conflict is a common challenge. What tips can you offer?

Economy: Whenever you’ve got two or more people in an organization, you’ve got the seeds of conflict. Managing conflict can become a full-time job for leaders.

When you must deal with conflict in your own organization, first be objective. Withhold your judgment until you have the full story from all parties and don’t take sides.

Be neutral. Identify the different emotions in play between the employees in conflict and the underlying needs that drive them.

Help your people see and understand the negative impact they are having on their coworkers, then help them find common ground to resolve the conflict.

Duncan: What steps do you recommend for confronting a toxic coworker or boss in a way most likely to produce positive change rather than merely worsening the bad behavior?

Economy: First, take a big step back and disconnect from the emotions that you feel whenever the toxic person does their thing on you. Call out the behavior—privately, one on one—and don’t ignore it.

If you’re a manager, then explain the negative effect the person is having on the organization and ask them to stop the toxic behavior. If they do, great—not every toxic employee is aware of their bad behavior. If they don’t, then you might need to loop in HR to start progressive discipline.

If the toxic person in your organization is your boss, then again, take them aside and explain the negative effect their behavior is having on the organization and on you personally. If they can’t or won’t stop, then consider transferring to a different part of the organization or leaving it altogether.

Duncan: Many people seem to allow themselves to be offended or “triggered” by other people’s behavior. How can people raise their own self-awareness so they can avoid falling into the easily offended or victim trap?

Economy: Some toxic people are good at pushing their coworkers’ buttons—really good at it.

Avoiding the victim trap begins with becoming aware of the effect the button pusher is having on you. If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated when you deal with a particular person in the organization, why is that the case—are they pushing your buttons? In some cases, however, victims don’t see the effect these people are having on them—they just react, which is exactly the behavior the toxic person is hoping for. If you refuse to play their game, they’ll eventually get bored and move on.

Duncan: What are some smart ways a job candidate can determine if a prospective job is a good fit?

Economy: Remember that any job interview should be a two-way street. A job candidate should also be asking the interviewer questions to gauge whether the position they are considering and the organization will be a good fit.

They should track down current and former employees of the company and ask them what they think about their organization and its leadership team (LinkedIn is a great resource for this).

And they should be honest in their own assessment of the company and the role they might play in it. Are they truly aligned with the organization’s values and mission? Are they excited about the prospect of working for this company? Do they like their prospective coworkers? It’s a good time to take off the rose-colored glasses.

 

Forbes.com | November 4, 2021 | Rodger Dean Duncan

 

#CareerAdvice – #ToxicBehavior -How to Deal With a Colleague’s Negative Attitude

Negative or toxic behavior at work can rear its ugly head in many different ways. Whether it’s constant complaining about a boss or coworker, dissatisfaction with the work/role/organization, critical/aggressive remarks or hoarding information, the effects of negative behavior from colleagues can be taxing on your mental state.

 

Toxic colleagues can erode team culture, tarnish your personal brand and harm the dynamics between a team. So what can you do when faced with a negative colleague whose behaviors are bringing you down? Let’s review some suggested courses of action!

Practice Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is an important part of building relationships, creating trust and cultivating a workplace that feels more human. If you’re noticing a constant stream of negative energy from one particular colleague, flexing your emotional intelligence in the following ways could be helpful in turning a sinking relationship into a more productive one:

Find out why: The saying “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about” is a great mantra when interacting with someone’s negativity. If there’s something going on in their personal life that is causing them to lash out at work, simply recognizing their struggles could be enough to help them show up more positively. Of course, you don’t want to pry into their personal affairs, but should the opportunity to talk about it arise, having a better understanding of their personal realities outside of work might help you humanize their behavior and build a stronger sense of empathy for them.

Offer compassionRather than trying to combat fire with fire, offer this colleague some compassion and express your desire to help. Perhaps they are feeling insecure about certain workplace relationships/events, or perhaps they could be drowning in work. By offering them help and support, you will create a safer place for them to put their guard down.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

Create Personal Boundaries

It’s important to remember that negativity breeds more negativity, so if you’re surrounding yourself with negative energy, it will likely affect you more deeply than a simple annoyance. To create personal boundaries at work, consider the following:

Align yourself with positive people: The phrase “Your vibe attracts your tribe” can be true in both your personal life, as well as your work life. It’s important to align yourself with the people around you who see opportunity, excitement and reasons to be grateful at work, rather than get sucked into the energy of those who wish to see their glass as half empty.

Change your mindset: If someone on your team says something negative, or constantly creates a hostile environment, remind yourself that you’re there to work, and once you clock out, their behaviors and attitudes no longer affect you. Keep work to just work, and avoid creating a social life that revolves around this person. Stay calm, and remember that their negativity is likely a symptom of their greater unhappiness, which has nothing to do with you, nor is it your problem.

Diffuse the Situation

There are times when you won’t be able to (or won’t want to!) avoid this negative colleague. In order to co-exist harmoniously, diffusing the negativity that emanates from them is a strategy you can practice. To do this, consider the following:

Redirect the conversation: If you notice the conversation with your colleague is heading into a dark place, redirect it by switching topics and avoiding subjects that you know will set off negative alarms. For example, if this colleague has a problem with your current boss and spends most of your watercooler conversation complaining about it, try your best bring up topics you both enjoy and don’t engage in the boss-bashing.

Address the situation directly: If you’re unable to move the conversation into a positive place, consider having a direct conversation with your colleague about the problem. While this might seem intimidating, it could be a good opportunity for you to help them with their professional brand and reputation within the office. There is a good chance that they might be unaware of how their negative attitude is impacting their relationships.

You could say something like “I wanted to have a discussion about the energy that we both bring to the team. I understand the ups and downs that come with work, but I was hoping we could discuss how to make things more positive as we continue working together.”

Speak to the manager: Depending on the scope of the problem, you may need to reach out to your manager, given that someone’s attitude at work should be included in their performance management.

Managing your attitude in the face of adversity is a huge part of your personal brand. Negativity is contagious, so do your best to rise above, even though commiserating can feel good. Remind yourself, and your team, that you’ve all chosen to work wherever it is you are. How you choose to show up each day is up to you!

Stacy Pollack is a Learning Specialist with an MA in Educational Technology. She is passionate about building leadership programs that engage and contribute to the success of her organization. She loves to share her perspective on workplace development, career building, and networking for success. Connect with her onLinkedIn, Twitter, or at www.stacypollack.com.

 

GlassDoor.com |  

#Leadership : How To Build A #ProductiveTeam (And Weed Out #ToxicBehavior )…Whitney Johnson’s new book, Build An A-Team, is Based in Understanding where Collaborators are on their Learning Curves.

Whitney Johnson isn’t afraid to challenge people to be their best selves. From her books Dare, Dream, Do, to Disrupt Yourself, Johnson puts forth a framework for innovation that starts with empowering the individual to take charge of making change. It’s something she’s learned from personal experience.

Originally a classically trained pianist, Johnson went on to become an equity analyst on Wall Street despite having no financial background. Between speaking engagements, writing, mentoring, and advising startups, Johnson also co founded the Disruptive Innovation Fund with Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen.

In her latest book, Build an A-Team, Johnson discusses her experience and advice for creating the most productive collaborations. Here’s her advice for building an innovative team and weeding out toxic behavior.

Fast Company: What was the most challenging team you’ve ever been on?

Whitney Johnson: I was still working on Wall Street, I had been an award-winning stock analyst for about eight years and effectively at the top of my learning curve. I loved to coach and mentor people, so I went to [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][my boss] and said I wanted to go into the management track. Rather than being supportive, he was dismissive and discouraging, basically saying, ‘We like you right where you are.’ This is a big challenge that plays out in companies all over the world every day. People get to the point where they are ready to disrupt themselves, but the ecosystem makes it impossible, even though they may have a great boss. It’s basically the “innovator’s dilemma” but with people.

FC: How did you resolve the dynamic?

WJ: I left.

FC: Is there such thing as a bad team? Or is it only a matter of getting a good manager/leader who can make it good?

WJ: There is such thing as a bad team. Sometimes you have bad players who are toxic–and we all can be toxic at different times, it’s not that a particular person is toxic in every situation. But often you get people not performing well, and/or they’re in the wrong role. Other times, frequently there is a strong performer who got to the top of their learning curve after four or five years on the job, and they’re bored and they start to underperform. They may feel they paid their dues and are entitled. That impacts everybody on the team.

 

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

FC: What’s the best way to deal with that?

WJ: If there is truly a toxic player, you need to weed them out. Otherwise, recognize that every single person is on a learning curve, including you. You build a great team by optimizing those curves. At any given time you have 70% of the people on the steep part of the learning curve, and 15% who are on the low end asking questions like, ‘Why are we doing this?’

The other 15% are people at the high end who aren’t necessarily innovating, but who are willing to set the pace by teaching, training, and collaborating. They know that shortly they will jump to a new curve of learn, leap, repeat, continuing the cycle. You have to constantly have people in a slot either learning a little more, or getting ready to learn again, then you’ve got people who are engaged, happy, and productive.

FC: What do you personally look for in others when collaborating, and how would you advise others to seek the same?

WJ: A lack of entitlement. A lack of either, ‘I’ve paid dues,’ or somehow I am owed for something. A willingness to learn and be humble enough to say I don’t know how to do everything, and I’m willing to learn from every person, not just my betters. To demonstrate domain expertise and excellence around the work they’re doing. A willingness to show up and be all in.

One of the ways you know people are excited to work with you is that they ask you questions about the work, and not about what’s in it for them. One advantage of the gig economy is working on short-term projects with someone. To me, that is the best way to test if they are all in.

FC: How would you hire to build a great team?

WJ: Look for the questions they ask to see if they are invested in the business. Ask them about times in their career or at school that they’ve taken a step back to slingshot forward, or if they were pushed back and what that looked like.

This will show how self-aware they are if they are taking ownership, or if it is someone else’s fault. You will see how agile and nimble they are, which is required for disrupting. Then talk about something that’s not worked and what the return on investment of it was. You’ll be able to see resilience, and how intact their sense of identity is if their failure is an event and not a person.

FC: How would you advise someone who’s contemplating joining a team to make the right decision?

WJ: Bosses are pretty good at telling you what you want to hear about a job, and it all looks really exciting. Ask the manager where the people are who worked for them in the past, and what they are doing today. Ask if there were women or people of color on those teams. Ask if they helped them to get to where they are–even if they moved to another organization–and if they are proud of them. That is the person you want to be working for, because this boss will make it possible for you to jump to a new learning curve.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lydia Dishman is a reporter writing about the intersection of tech, leadership, and innovation. She is a regular contributor to Fast Company and has written for CBS Moneywatch, Fortune, The Guardian, Popular Science, and the New York Times, among others.

More

 FastCompany.com | May 1, 2018 | Lydia Dishman

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#Leadership: 10 Toxic People You Should Avoid At All Costs… “People Inspire you, Or they Drain You—Pick them Wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

Truly Toxic People will Never be Worth your Time and Energy—and they Take a Lot of Each.

 

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