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#Strategy : 13 Tricks to Lead a Simpler, Happier Life … #5- “Ask yourself, Will this Matter in 1 Year, 5 Years, or 10 Years? If it Won’t, you Need to Stop #Stressing out About it. Move Forward.”

Last year, Business Insider published a list of easy ways to simplify your life, featuring comments posted on the Quora thread, “How can I make my life simpler?

Free- Blowing a DandiLion

Since then, the thread has ballooned to nearly 700 answers, with users from all over the world weighing in on how to eliminate physical and mental clutter, increase productivity, and ultimately be a happier person.

We picked out 13 recent responses that offer creative strategies for streamlining. Read on to find out what you can do to make your daily life a little bit easier.

1. Make time for “meta-work.”

Advance planning is key to simplicity because it helps prevent the panicky feeling that you’re not focusing on what’s most important.

“Organizing your to-do list or clearing out your desk don’t seem like productive things to do,”writes Haider Al-Mosawi. “I call them ‘meta-work.’ They don’t substitute for actual work (you want to do the tasks on your to-do list), but they do help cultivate mental clarity and allow you to become more productive when you are working.”

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2. Learn to prioritize.

Now that you’ve crafted that to-do list, it’s time to pare it down, says Nistha Tripathi, by eliminating any nonessential tasks.

Tripathi quotes Stephen Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“: “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, — to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.”

3. Abandon the idea of a “bucket list.”

Don’t see your life as a race to accomplish goals that other people have set for you.

Writes Jim Stone: “If you read an article titled ‘100 movies you must see before you die,’ don’t buy into it. If you do, you’ll either wind up watching 70 boring movies to get to 30 good ones, or you’ll feel guilty about not finishing the list. Either way, it adds to your mental burden.”

4. Be early for appointments.

“This will help you to make your time of travel a time of rest and relaxation instead of stressful,” says Olivia Skumps.

And simplifying your life is all about eliminating unnecessary stress.

If you’re having a hard time being punctual, let alone early, you can try some simple but effective tricks like overestimating how long it will take to get ready and planning for worst-case scenarios.

5. Use the 10-year test.

The fact that you turned in your project proposal 30 seconds late might seem devastating right when it happens. But a decade later, you’re unlikely to even remember it.

Here’s Nelson Wang’s tip: “Ask yourself, will this matter in one year, five years, or 10 years? If it won’t, you need to stop stressing out about it. Move forward.”

6. Don’t leave unfinished business.

“When I look around my house,” says Tanya Zyabkina, “most of the ‘junk’ is simply a material representation of a decision that has not been made or a project that has not been finished. That parcel box on the floor? Still thinking whether to return it. Stack of pictures on the desk? Need to finally frame them.

“Make that decision now. Take the action right away. Don’t let unfinished business accumulate.”

Zyabkina’s suggestion sounds similar to David Allen’s “two-minute rule“: If you get an email that can be dealt with in two minutes or less, deal with it now instead of letting it linger in your inbox.

The basic idea behind both strategies is to make decisions whenever possible instead of putting them off.

7. Automate most of your day.

“If you want to make your life more simple,” writes Mike LaVere, “automate as much of your day and routine as possible. “

LaVere cites a phenomenon known as decision fatigue, explaining that willpower is a finite resource and the more you use it, the less you have left.

That’s why you should eliminate as many choices as you can, from what you eat for breakfast to what you wear to work.

In fact, Barack Obama and Mark Zuckerberg say they wear the same outfit every day because they have to focus their energy on making other, more important decisions.

8. Learn to say “no.”

“If you don’t want to do something, just say no,” writes Amrisha Vohra. “You don’t need to keep everyone happy.”

We know: It’s not that easy. Remember that you can still be polite by saying something like,“I’m sorry I can’t right now but will let you know when and if I can.”

You can also turn the question around to the person asking. For example, if your supervisor asks you to take on more than you can manage, you can respond, “I’m happy to do X, Y, and Z; however, I would need three weeks, rather than two, to do a good job. How would you like me to prioritize them?”

9. Focus on what you can control.

So you’re running late for work because of a traffic jam ahead. Getting angry is natural — but not especially productive. You’d be better off taking a breath and using that time to mentally prep for a meeting later that day.

Writes Gary Wu:

“Your days are filled with random events that are out of your control. Getting emotionally and mentally worked up over them is a waste of energy. … You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can control how you react. That itself can often be the deciding factor between outcomes.”

10. Craft a personal mission statement.

Rohan Sinha recommends having a “vision” for your life that you update regularly.

Think of it as an abbreviated version of the personal statement you’d submit to a grad program: What do you hope to accomplish and why is it important?

In fact, The New York Times reports, a mission statement can be a better predictor of change than a New Year’s resolution. That’s because, with a mission statement, you identify themotivation behind the changes you’re hoping to make.

11. Spend time alone.

“Start spending time with yourself,” says Abhinav Shahi. “This is the most important thing, as you and only you know what is best for you and what do you want in your life.”

Make sure you leave your phone behind so that you truly experience solitude and engage in deep introspection.

12. Do one thing you love for five minutes every day.

“When you are happy you will bother less about the complexities,” writes Mohd Arshad.

This idea is backed by scientific research, which suggests that trying deliberately to feel happy backfires — but that organizing your day to include activities you like improves well-being.

13. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness “teaches you to live in the present, to do whatever you are doing with utmost passion and devotion,” says Rhishita Jha.

The main idea is to unclutter your mind by zeroing in on what you’re thinking, feeling, and doing right now, as opposed to the anxieties of yesterday or tomorrow.

You can start a mindfulness practice simply by paying close attention to your breathing and noticing what you’re sensing in any given moment.

Businessinsider.com | December 7, 2015 | 

#Leadership : 11 Affirmations Successful People Repeat Every Single Day…The Thought is Parent to the Deed–& that’s Especially True where #Success & Happiness are Concerned.

Here are some of the things extraordinarily successful people say every day–and how those statements spur them to take actions that lead to even greater success:

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http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/11-affirmations-successful-people-repeat-every-day.html

#Leadership : 6 Powerful Truths That Have You Fail For Success…How Much you can Learn When you Fail Determines How Far you Will go in Creating #Success

…the Truth is Failure will Always be a Big Part of our Success Story, so the sooner we stop shaming our failures the better off we will be in utilizing their lessons.

 

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http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/6-powerful-truths-that-have-you-fail-for-success.html

#Leadership : 8 Guaranteed Ways to Boost Your Confidence…Confidence is a Crucial Building Block in a Successful #Career, & Embracing it Fully will Take you Places you Never thought Possible.

Successful People often Exude Confidence—it’s Obvious that They Believe in Themselves & What They’re Doing.

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http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/11/17/8-guaranteed-ways-to-boost-your-confidence/

#Leadership : 7 Steps to Increasing your #Resilience … #Adversity Happens. That’s a Given. How you Deal with It is the Difference between Merely Surviving or Thriving.

Being resilient doesn’t mean waltzing though life stress- and pain-free.

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http://www.businessinsider.com/7-steps-to-increasing-your-resilience-2015-11

#Leadership : How Successful People Make Smart Decisions…With so Many Decisions Taking Up Each Day, Learning to Prioritize Them & Make Them Effectively is Essential to your Success & Happiness.

Your days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. A study from Columbia University found that we’re bogged down by a good 70 decisions a day.

 

Some decisions are minor, like what to eat, which route to drive to work, or in what order to tackle tasks. Others are more difficult, like deciding between two job offers, whether to move to a new city for someone you love, or whether to cut a toxic person out of your life.

With so many decisions taking up each day, learning to prioritize them and make them effectively is essential to your success and happiness.

While I’m familiar with many strategies successful people use for effective decision-making, what follows are the cream of the crop.

They Turn Small Decisions Into Routines …

Decision-making works like a muscle: as you use it over the course of the day, it gets too exhausted to function effectively. One of the best strategies successful people use to work around their decision fatigue is to eliminate smaller decisions by turning them into routines. Doing so frees up mental resources for more complex decisions.
Steve Jobs famously wore a black turtleneck to work every day. Mark Zuckerberg still dons a hoodie. Both men have stated that these iconic images are the simple result of daily routines intended to cut down on decision fatigue. They were both aware of our finite daily ability to make good decisions, as is Barack Obama, who said, “You’ll see I wear only gray or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing, because I have too many other decisions to make.”

… And Make Big Decisions In The Morning

Another great way to beat decision fatigue is to save small decisions for after work (when decision fatigue is greatest) and to tackle complex decisions in the morning, when your mind is fresh. When you’re facing a stream of important decisions, a great trick is to wake up early and work on your most complicated tasks before you get hit with a bunch of distracting minor decisions (phones ringing, e-mails coming in). A similar strategy is to do some of the smaller things the night before to get a head start on the next day. For instance, lay out your outfit at night so you don’t even have to think about it when you wake up.

 

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They Pay Attention To Their Emotions

There’s an old saying: “Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions,” and it definitely rings true. Successful people recognize and understand their emotions (including their intensity and impact on behavior) so that they are able to look at decisions as objectively and rationally as possible.

Unfortunately, most people aren’t good at managing or even recognizing their emotions.TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that only 36% of us are able to accurately identify our emotions as they happen. Strong decision makers, on the other hand, know that a bad mood can make them lash out or stray from their moral compass just as easily as a good mood can make them overconfident and impulsive.

They Evaluate Their Options Objectively

When really wrapped up in a decision, successful people weigh their options against a pre-determined set of criteria because they know that this makes decision-making easier and more effective. Here are some helpful criteria to consider: How does this decision benefit me? How does it hurt me? How does this benefit ___? How does it hurt ___? Does the decision reflect my values? Would I regret making this decision? Would I regret not making this decision? Does this decision reflect my values?

They Sleep On It …

Sleeping on your decision ensures that you have clarity of thought when you approach it the next day. It also allows time for your emotions to run their course. When you act too quickly, you tend to react, but when you give more focus and time to your decision, you expose important facets of it that you didn’t see before.

… But Not For Too Long

Successful people know the importance of gathering as much information as they can, but at the same time, they make certain not to fall prey to analysis paralysis. Instead of waiting for the moons to align, successful people know that they need to have a timetable to follow in reaching their decision. Once they set that date, they are motivated to do their homework and some soul searching in order to meet the deadline.

They Use Exercise To Recharge

The stress of a major decision naturally produces cortisol, the chemical that triggers the fight-or-flight response. Cortisol clouds your ability to think clearly and rationally. When you find yourself stressing about a decision, try exercising. As little as 30 minutes is all it takes to get a good endorphin-fueled buzz and to return to mental clarity. Exercise also helps you get past that fight-or-flight state by putting the cortisol to practical use. Research shows that long-term exercise improves the overall functioning of the brain regions responsible for decision-making.
They Always Go Back To Their Moral Compass

Successful people know the importance of sticking to their morals when making an important decision. Morals serve as trusted guides when your emotions are pulling you in a different direction.

They Seek Outside Counsel

When approaching a decision, we have a natural tendency to pick an alternative and then to gather information to support that decision, instead of gathering information and then choosing a side (this is called confirmation bias). A great way to beat confirmation bias is to seek outside opinions and advice from people who bring different perspectives to your situation. Their perspectives help you weigh your options more objectively and to spot your subjective or irrational tendencies.

 

Forbes.com | October 7, 2015 | Travis Bradberry 

Your #Career : 5 Reasons You Should Always Be Looking for a New Job…Often, We Get Comfortable (a.k.a. Lazy) in Our Current Positions & Don’t Think About What Might be Next for Us on the Ladder of Success. But you Never Know When your Dream Job Will Come Along—Or When you Might Lose the One you Have.

You may be really happy in your job and that’s great. But if a recruiter calls or a friend tips you off to a great position that fits your skills, are you ready to pursue it? If so, is your resume current? Are you constantly connecting with people in case a better opportunity presents itself?

 

 

Often, we get comfortable (a.k.a. lazy) in our current positions and don’t think about what might be next for us on the ladder of success. But you never know when your dream job will come along—or when you might lose the one you have. Here are five reasons why you should be always be seeking out new opportunities and laying the groundwork for your next career move:

1)    Loyalty doesn’t pay. Gone are the days when people stayed at the same company for their entire careers and collected a gold watch at their retirement party. According to a Careerbuilder study, today’s Millennials spend an average of 2.4 years or less in the same position—and it doesn’t hurt them one bit. In fact, staying at a company too long can work against you. You may get promoted but you likely won’t see the kind of substantial salary increases that you would if you left for a new job. In addition, unless you’re able to move into different roles that challenge you and grow your skills, you may max out on learning in the same job for years. Lastly, while you may feel that your employer values your loyalty, when push comes to shove, if they need to make cuts or new leadership comes in above you, there’s no guarantee that your job won’t be eliminated.

 

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2)    Things can change quickly. There are any number of reasons why you could be put in a difficult or precarious position and, suddenly, your previously secure gig could be on the chopping block. You could get a new boss who decides to bring in his own team or doesn’t think you’re as much of a rock star as your previous manager. Alternatively, if your company gets acquired, the new owner could choose to clean house or the business could go through a rough patch financially and be forced to streamline. You want to stay in control of your own destiny—not leave it at the mercy of shifting business priorities.

3)    It keeps you top of mind. Even if you’re content where you are, you should always be entertaining other options. Update your LinkedIn profile on a regular basis, expand your network and stay in touch with recruiters in your industry so they know to reach out to you when an even better job becomes available. If people don’t think you’re on the market, you won’t get those calls—and your competition will. I landed my last job by reconnecting on social media with the company’s CEO, with whom I had worked years ago, and asking him to have a catch-up coffee. It turned out that he had just started thinking about bringing in a head of communications. After I had started there, he admitted that, had I not gotten back in touch, he never would have thought of me as a candidate since I was at a much bigger, more established company and he didn’t think I would leave.

4) Every conversation is worthwhile. So, say you do get approached about a job opportunity and you don’t think it’s the right fit or the right time. Go on the interview anyway. Case in point: When I was director of PR at an internet company years ago, reporting directly to the CEO and running a department, I got a call from a recruiter for a senior manager position at a much bigger company, with three people above me, and I almost turned down the chance to interview. But I decided to take the meeting for the heck of it. Flash forward: I took the job, stayed there for over a decade and was promoted three times.

5) It’ll help clarify what you want—and don’t want. A few years ago, I got an offer for what seemed, on paper, like a dream job. But the process was agonizing—spanning five months of back and forth, multiple interviews, periods of radio silence and a management team that seemed highly disorganized. I turned it down because my gut told me it wasn’t a good move. Sure enough, less than a year later, they had eliminated the entire PR team and had gone through three CEOs. Paying attention to the signs confirmed for me what I didn’t want in a job or a company, which was indecision, changing priorities and a leadership team without a clear vision.

The upshot: You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by getting out there and going on interviews. At a minimum, it’ll expose you to new companies, businesses and people—which could help you at your current company. At best, it could lay the groundwork for future career moves. Either way, you’ll be on the road to success—and squarely in the driver’s seat.

Jessica Kleiman is a Branding and Communications Consultant and co-author of Be Your Own Best Publicist: How to Use PR Techniques to Get Noticed, Hired and Rewarded at Work.

 

Forbes.com | September 28, 2015 | Jessica Kleiman

#Strategy : 4 Steps To Overcome Adversity And Amplify Your Success…When you Consider the Statistic that 60% of Americans are Unhappy With their Occupation, It Becomes Apparent That the Majority of Us are Not Aligned With our Purpose or, Consequently, our Potential.

“The truth is that customers don’t typically care who you are or what you have to offer unless they can see that there is clear and obvious value being offered in the exchange,” said Brad. “What drives the interaction is an exchange of value. As soon as the customer perceives that the value being offered is greater than the cost, there will be a natural urgency for the exchange.”

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference,” wrote Robert Frost in his famous poem “The Road Not Taken” in 1916. Our team at Fishbowl believes it is a metaphor for accepting accountability for our choices. We can remain optimistic through every breakdown or failure, learn and come back wiser and possibly even grateful for the experience.

“Life is difficult,” wrote Dr. M. Scott Peck in his bestseller The Road Less Traveled published in 1978. “This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

Frost and Dr. Peck make it clear that life is a journey and challenges are a given. Fast forward to 2015 and to a new generation of thought leaders and we learn that adversity in many experiences can be overcome with knowledge and viewing the situation from a different perspective.

We recently read The Laws of Influence by Brad Harker, a highly respected influence expert. He reminded us a lot of Dr. Peck. We liked his book so much that we connected with him to learn more.

 

Brad consults with professionals and organizations in the disciplines of sales, entrepreneurship and career development. With his entrepreneurial track record that includes a series of startups and more than a quarter billion dollars in sales, we were anxious to learn more about Brad’s theories on influence and the strategies he has introduced to his clients to help them reach incredible levels of personal and professional achievement.

Brad possesses more ambition, creativity and passion than we’ve seen in most experts. He has a unique ability to help others discover their purpose, amplify their strengths and leverage their potential.

Here are the four highlights from our discussion that helped our team and will hopefully help you overcome challenges and amplify success:

1. Everyone is in sales

Brad views selling as a function of influence. “Rooted in a distinct mindset, selling is in the way we think, act and communicate,” said Brad. “It is habitual. It’s not so much what we do or say, but how we do or say it. We all sell our ideas, beliefs, products or services every single day of our lives. No matter what our job title is, we are all active in the art of influence.”

Through his experience in sales and entrepreneurship, Brad has arrived at five conclusions:

  1. Selling or influencing others is an integral part of our daily experience, no matter what role we play in life.
  2. Our success in any endeavor depends on our ability to influence.
  3. We each have natural abilities that we can cultivate into habits of influence.
  4. By practicing these habits on a consistent basis, we can leverage the power of influence to reach our greatest potential.
  5. Once we have accepted the reality that we are always selling something, we can direct our attention to the most important sale we will ever face – ourselves. Our “pitch” to ourselves is that we each have unlimited potential and a unique capacity to realize our own version of greatness.

2. Align with your purpose

Brad believes that aligning with your purpose is the first step to build influence. He suggests that “each of us possesses unique traits and natural abilities, and our mission is to come into harmony with the gifts and talents that we have been given.”

We learned that Brad, in addition to his speaking and consulting activities, is an Adjunct Professor at Dixie State University. He thrives on the opportunity to help his students gain an awareness of their purpose and leverage their potential.

“Consider how much of your life you have spent acquiring an education,” said Brad. “It requires at least 16 years of school to earn an undergraduate degree! In all of that time spent learning, how much of that was spent on understanding exactly who you are? Education and experience are worthless if you don’t first understand who you are and what drives you.

“When you consider the statistic that 60% of Americans are unhappy with their occupation, it becomes apparent that the majority of us are not aligned with our purpose or, consequently, our potential.”

In the words of Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” If you follow our work at Fishbowl, you will know that we believe Twain got it half right. It’s what you do after figuring out the why that really matters, which leads to Brad’s next point…

 3. Focus on creating value

Brad recently created an online webinar series called Sales Primer that is designed to simplify the sales process for sales executives, professionals and entrepreneurs. In the first section Brad shares what he calls the exchange model.

The model simplifies the process of exchanging products and services. The model highlights the fact that the true medium of exchange is value, not necessarily money or the product. Brad has found that far too many professionals lead with their title or product, expecting success as a result of who they are or what they think is great about their product.

“The truth is that customers don’t typically care who you are or what you have to offer unless they can see that there is clear and obvious value being offered in the exchange,” said Brad. “What drives the interaction is an exchange of value. As soon as the customer perceives that the value being offered is greater than the cost, there will be a natural urgency for the exchange.”

4. Find success in the midst of adversity

Brad has overcome significant obstacles throughout his career. What is more compelling is how he has been able to harness that adversity to educate and motivate himself towards his goals.

“Mental response to rejection is a major differentiator between average and successful people,” said Brad. “Resilience” is the word he uses when describing the degree of fortitude people are able to show in the face of adversity. You may wonder how much resilience you have. Brad suggests, “It is important to understand that resilience is largely based on perceptions. From our youth, we have formed habits and meanings for the events we experience.”

Here is a relevant example Brad shared with us: consider how you have felt after experiencing a significant challenge, such as being fired from a job, benched during a game or intensely reprimanded.

For most of us, those experiences evoke emotions of discouragement, failure or severe depression. The reason is because we have been conditioned through our experiences to respond that way. “Fears, doubts and worries are perceptions of a reality that exists only in your mind,” Brad explained. He believes that our biggest weakness as humans is what often keeps us safe: our protective mechanisms.

Brad teaches a powerful approach to “reframe failure” that helps his clients embrace and learn from the adversity in their lives instead of shrinking in defeat and losing confidence.

He believes that we have two options in the face of adversity:

1. We can conform to it by allowing fear and insecurity to construct facades and walls that allow us to pretend that we are okay. In this conformity, we deprive ourselves of valuable education and strength.

2. Or we can humbly embrace failure as the great teacher and refining fire that has proliferated great men and women from the dawn of civilization.

We all face challenges in life. Reframe what holds you down into a learning opportunity and your success will be amplified. “We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived,” said Dr. Peck.

Learn more about Brad and his concepts here.

Additional reporting for this article provided by Mary Michelle Scott, Fishbowl President

 

Forbes.com | September 29, 2015 | David K. Williams

 

#Leadership : Why this CEO Makes his Executive Team Climb a Mountain that has Claimed more Lives than Everest…CEO Hiroshi “Mickey” Mikitani Has his Leadership Team do Something More Adventurous than Gathering at a Cushy Resort.

Like a lot of big companies, the Japanese internet giant Rakutenused to host annual offsite retreats where all the executives would meet at a golf course to connect and talk strategy. About seven years ago, that tradition changed radically.  CEO Hiroshi “Mickey” Mikitani tells Business Insider that he now has his leadership team do something more adventurous than gathering at a cushy resort.

Rakuten Tanigawa 4

CEO Hiroshi “Mickey” Mikitani.

Instead, execs now meet on Mount Tanigawa every year, a Japanese mountain that hasclaimed the lives of more climbers than Mount Everest.

Despite that jarring death toll, Mikitani decided to change the company offsite after hiking the mountain with his young son. Although the climb is difficult, some trails, including the one Rakuten employees take, are less dangerous than others.

Mikitani sees the tradition as the perfect way for execs to get to know each other better through a non-conventional bonding experience. Even more importantly, the struggle to make it to the top altogether symbolizes the idea of working through company difficulties as a team.

Rakuten Tanigawa 3RakutenCompany executives climbing through the fog. “Rakuten always goes to the peak,” Mikitani grins.

 

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One other exec who has climbed Mount Tanigawa several times gleefully told Business Insider that he almost died last year when he started sliding on the rocks under his feet. He almost careened off the side of a cliff before managing to grab onto a rock. His teammates and their guide then threw him a rope he used to climb back onto the path.

Rakuten Tanigawa 2 (1)Rakuten

Although the offsite is all about team building and pushing boundaries, another exec jokes that it also acts as a good way for employees to stay in good physical condition through the year.

“The fear keeps you fit,” he laughs, saying that he would remind himself to go to the gym more often in the months leading up to the retreat.

Mikitani recalls one particularly memorable climb where he invited a journalist who planned to profile the company to join the expedition. After a grueling ascent and witnessing how execs continually pushed themselves and each other to the limit to make it to the top, the journalist, between his own tired gasps, apparently said, “Now I finally feel like I understand Rakuten.”

Rakuten Tanigawa 6Rakuten

 

Businessinsider.com | September 21, 2015 | 

 

#Strategy : 21 Signs you’re Mentally Stronger than Average…Mentally Strong people Don’t Do Things Like Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves or Give Away Their Power to Other People.

Mental strength takes a long time to develop. It is the daily practice of pushing yourself to grow stronger, maintaining realistic optimism, and setting healthy boundaries. Mentally strong people don’t dothings like waste time feeling sorry for themselves or give away their power to other people.

log training seal school

Mental strength training is just as hard — or harder — than physical training.

How do you know where you fall on the spectrum? We asked psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.” Morin shared the following 21 signs you’re mentally stronger than average, which we’ve listed here in her words:

1. You balance emotions with logic.

Mentally strong people understand how their emotions can influence their thinking. In an effort to make the best decisions possible, they balance their emotions with logic.

2. You choose productive behavior.

While it may be tempting to make excuses, complain about other people, and avoid difficult circumstances, mentally strong people refuse to waste time on unproductive activities.

 

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3. You feel confident in your ability to adapt to change.

Mentally strong people know that although change is uncomfortable, it’s tolerable. They focus their energy on adapting to change, rather than resisting it.

4. You face the fears that hold you back.

While mentally strong people don’t need to conquer fears because they have something to prove to others, they do strive to face the fears that hold them back.

5. You learn from your mistakes.

Mentally strong people don’t hide or excuse their mistakes. Instead, they learn from them.

6. You balance self-acceptance with self-improvement.

Mentally strong people accept themselves for who they are, while simultaneously recognizing their need for personal development.

crowd cheering confettiFlickr / Joe VanBe happy when others succeed.

7. You genuinely celebrate other people’s success.

Mentally strong people cooperate — rather than compete — with those around them. They don’t feel as though other people’s success somehow diminishes their own achievements.

8. You are comfortable living according to your values.

Mentally strong people make decisions with relative ease because they understand their priorities and they live according to their values.

9. You focus on sharpening your skills, rather than showing them off.

While some people seek validation from others, mentally strong people are less concerned about gaining recognition. Instead, they’re intrinsically motivated to become better.

10. You live an authentic life.

Mentally strong people are true to themselves. Their words are in line with their behavior.

11. You view life’s hardships as opportunities for growth.

While hardship causes some people to grow bitter, mentally strong people let adversity make them better.

12. Your self-worth depends on who you are, not what you achieve.

Mentally strong people feel good about themselves, whether they win or lose.

boston marathon winner 2015Jim Rogash/Stringer/Getty ImagesRemember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

13. You practice delayed gratification.

Mentally strong people view their goals as a marathon, not a sprint. They’re willing to tolerate short-term pain when it can provide long-term gain.

14. You bounce back from failure.

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as the end of the road. Instead, they use their failed attempts as opportunities to gain knowledge that will increase their chances of success in the future.

15. You’re a realistic optimist.

Mentally strong people are able to look for the silver lining and think on the bright side, but they don’t allow their optimistic tendencies to blind them to reality.

16. You accept personal responsibility for your choices.

Mentally strong people don’t needlessly beat themselves up, but they do accept complete responsibility for their actions.

17. You express gratitude.

Rather than exclaim they need more, mentally strong people acknowledge they have more than they need.

18. You focus on what you can control.

Mentally strong people are effective and productive in life because they devote their resources to the things they can control.

19. You engage in active problem-solving.

Mentally strong people don’t dwell on the problem — instead, they create solutions.

20. You’re open to learning more from all that surrounds you.

Mentally strong people are constantly learning from their circumstances and the people they encounter every day.

21. You work on your weaknesses, rather than masking them.

While many people work hard to disguise their vulnerabilities, mentally strong people invest their energy into improving their shortcomings.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 12, 2015 |