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#Leadership : #StressManagement – 5 Ways #NewManagers can Protect Themselves from Burning Out….Don’t Try to Do it All–That’s a Recipe for Disaster.

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Your company just promoted you, and you’re a newly minted manager. After a well-deserved celebration and many congratulatory messages, you come face-to-face with one harsh truth that comes with your new role–the lack of empty time slots in your calendar.

In my experience, new managers tend to make one crucial mistake–trying to do it all. They attempt to keep up with their own workload while making themselves constantly available to their team. As noble as those intentions may be, working 15-hour days won’t make you a better leader. After all, no one does their best work when they’re overly stressed.

I learned this the hard way. As soon as I realized that my round-the-clock hours were neither conducive to my work nor my growing family, I made time management a priority. To prevent burnout, I implemented the following five strategies. It’s something that I still live by today, and as a manager, I can attest that they go a long way in keeping you productive (and sane).

LEARN HOW TO SAY NO

I get it, saying no to a colleague feels terrible. But if you keep saying yes to requests, you’ll end up with an ever-growing to-do list of work that isn’t mission-critical for you or your team.

You’ll feel better about saying “no” when you realize that as a result, you’ll have more time to do work that’s highly important, but not urgent. Sure, it might feel good to send those emails and cross those “simple” requests off your list–but are those tasks really going to have a meaningful impact on your team or business? Probably not. So the next time a project, request, or opportunity comes your way, picture where it would land in the table below. If it’s of low urgency and low importance, say “no.” It’s not worth your time.

 

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BE SUPER SELECTIVE WITH MEETINGS

You know that too many meetings can kill your productivity, but earlier in your career, you probably felt obliged to say yes to all of them. As a manager, you can’t afford to do this if you want to get any work done.

Before RSVPing, ask yourself–is there a clear agenda of what this meeting needs to accomplish? Are you the best person to add value in this meeting? Is this something you can’t resolve quickly via email or messenger? If the answer is no, then the meeting is probably not the best use of your time. If the answer is yes, focus the conversation by setting the meeting objective ahead of time. This way, you’ll avoid going into pointless tangents. If you need to decide on something in the meeting, make that clear in the agenda.

Related: 3 creative meeting formats to make your whole team more effective

DO A REGULAR CALENDAR AUDIT

Every now and then, it can be helpful to push the reset button on your schedule. There may be standing meetings that are no longer relevant or nonessential “check-ins” that take up your day-to-day. Do a bird’s eye view analysis to figure out which one of those activities are truly the best use of your time, and whether they’re something others in your team can handle.

You should also think about blocking out time for certain projects that don’t require a meeting–whether that be recruitment or catching up on company updates. Without scheduling those tasks in your calendar, you might find it difficult to make progress.

DON’T USE YOUR INBOX AS YOUR TO-DO LIST

Chances are, you’ll get more emails, not less, when you become a manager. So if you’ve been using your inbox as your to-do list, now is the time to put a stop to that practice. Organizing your “priorities” trains your brain to be “always on” and look for the next task to knock off the list. It does not train you to think about how those lists relate to your big-picture goals and responsibilities.

I use Trello and have separate horizontal lists for “People,” “Culture,” “Product,” “Sales,” and “Performance.” The lists are side-by-side, which allows me to think holistically about my output in a given day or week without the urge to cross off what’s at the “top” of the list.

Related: These to-do list methods will help you finally get organized 

DELEGATE OBJECTIVES, NOT TASKS

Delegating work should save you time, but you can waste a ton of it if you don’t do it right. For starters, delegating to-dos without providing full context results in a lot of hand holding, and as a result, employees don’t feel ownership over the work. This makes them more likely to check in with you and ask unnecessary questions like whether they are doing it “right.”

On the other hand, if you delegate an objective or mission (and provide a few guardrails), they won’t expect a step-by-step instruction manual from you along the way. They’ll write their own, and might even come up with creative solutions as a result. You’ll probably get a better output, and you’ll find yourself with more time to tackle essential items.

Time is our most coveted resource, and that becomes even more of a reality when you move into a management role. By following these methods, you’ll be able to succeed in your new job while maintaining a healthy personal life at the same time.

Christian Kinnear is the managing director and VP of sales at HubSpot.

 

FastCompany.com | August 3, 2018 | BY CHRISTIAN KINNEAR 4 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : #StressManagement – The Difference Between Routine #Burnout & Something Serious…These Days, Most Jobs Come with a Dose of Stress. But if you Can’t Sleep at Night Due to the Anxiety, you Might Have a Bigger Problem.

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Have you ever had that feeling when the thought of going to work makes you physically ill? What was once your dream job becomes something you dread on a daily basis. You tell yourself that it’s just a phase, but it’s been days of feeling like this and you can’t seem to generate that spark you once had.

But how do you know when to ask for help, or just book a weekend away? After all, as Lindsay Goldwert pointed out in a previous Fast Company story, for most of us, stress is just part of our jobs. But experiencing it from time to time is different from having it dominate your life. Here’s how to determine when your lack of motivation might be a sign of a bigger problem you need to address.

BURNOUT TAKES MANY DIFFERENT FORMS

There are several common symptoms of burnout–tiredness, lack of productivity, irritability, and in extreme situations, the occurrence of panic attacks. But it manifests in different ways for different people, and there are many underlying issues that lead to it. For Due Quach, the founder and CEO of Calm Clarity, an organization that provides training on growth, leadership and resilience, her interaction with burnout occurred when everything in her professional life was going well, but she lost the motivation that drove her to “succeed” in the first place.

“The way I look at it is, the reason why we do our work is based on extrinsic motivation and extrinsic reward, and [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][those are] not aligned with what gives us an intrinsic reward and motivation,” Quach explains. She experienced her burnout while working in the financial industry. Having grown up as a refugee in a crime-ridden, low-income area, she worked in investment banking in order to achieve financial independence. “Once I attained those things, I lost that motivation to continue that slog. My body was telling me [that] I no longer found it rewarding.”

Other possible causes of work burnout might be unfair compensation, unreasonable workload, or too much overtime or after-hours work, according to a 2017 survey by Kronos and Future Workplace. Other reasons include toxic culture or having to work with a difficult boss and colleagues. Whatever the reasons might be, it’s helpful to identify where your feelings might be coming from. That’s the first step in determining the severity of the situation.

Related: These are the reasons why your whole team is burning out 

IDENTIFY WHERE YOUR BRAIN IS OPERATING MOST OF THE TIME

Quach categorizes our brains into three different modes of operation: Brain 1.0, Brain 2.0, and Brain 3.0. As she wrote in her book, Calm Clarity: How to Use Science to Rewire Your Brain for Greater Wisdom, Fulfillment, and Joy, Brain 1.0 is what we commonly know as the “fight or flight” mode–when we are afraid and anxious, and have trouble taking information clearly or make sound decisions. “Brain 2.0 is the reward system that’s activated by any reward,” Quach tells Fast Company. Examples might include coffee, substances, achievements, or being a VIP. In her book, she wrote, “When I’m in Brain 2.0, I can get so obsessed with getting the things I want, I impulsively strong-arm people to do things my way. This often leads me to act in ways that make others resent me. In this state, it’s also much harder to resist immediate gratification.” Brain 3.0, is the a state of mind where our activities and bigger purpose in life are aligned. “In Brain 3.0, I experience a deep and lasting sense of contentment, appreciation, and awe for being alive,” Quach wrote.

For those who suspect that they might be experiencing burnout, Quach suggests that they should think of their days like a pie, and identify what percentage of the pie they spend in Brain 1.0, Brain 2.0, and Brain 3.0 in any given day. “Hopefully you’re spending most of your time in Brain 3.0.” As you get closer to burnout, the part that gives you resilience shrinks more and gets closer to zero, she explains. This might be why the job that used to bring you so much energy now saps all the joy out of you. “When I was burning out, I was buying expensive things to try and keep Brain 3.0 activated so I can be more motivated to go to work. At the end of one week I had 10 glasses of wine. When you start to see these things shift, you’re relying more on self-medication,” Quach says. That’s a sign that you’re living in an unhealthy state.

Related: The fastest way to turn around career burnout 

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CHECK YOUR PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS AND HEALTH HISTORY

Say you realized that you spend most of your time in Brain 1.0, and you feel that it’s time to get some professional help. How do you know who to reach out to? Quach recommends that to determine what kind of help is best–you should pay close attention to your physical symptoms as well as your health history. If your family has a history of depression, for example, and you suspect that your burnout might be a case of neurotransmitter imbalance, it might be worth seeing a psychiatrist. If you’re having trouble sleeping and your lack of sleep is exacerbating your burnout, it’s probably best to make an appointment with a medical doctor who specializes in sleep. If you don’t see any physical symptoms and it’s just about a lack of drive, perhaps a life coach might be a good person to contact. After all, you might just need someone to help you see “what is and isn’t a good career option for you, and see if reshaping your career makes sense,” Quach says.

Related: How employee burnout became an epidemic and what it might take to fix it 

ASK YOURSELF WHAT REALLY MATTERS

Physical symptoms aside, burnout is really about not spending your time in a way that aligns with your priorities and values. “There are groups of people who are so used to following the ‘right’ path,” Quach tells Fast Company. You can find many of these people in industries like law, finance, and medicine, Quach says. As a result, you tend to see a lot of burnout in those industries. On the other hand, those who are explorers and have taken more time to build their careers might have more agency over their professional life and have the view that they have a choice in how they shape their job. “When you’re in Brain 3.0, you can initiate the things that you care about. That prevents burnout,” Quach explains.

For those who still struggle to find their purpose, Quach suggests that they try writing a letter to their future aspirational self. “That usually creates a huge change in intrinsic motivation,” she said. Then it’s a matter of tweaking what’s in their environment. “People start to realize that burnout can be avoided because you make choices that express your higher self.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Anisa is the Assistant Editor for Fast Company’s Leadership section. She covers everything from personal development, entrepreneurship and the future of work.

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FastCompany.com | August 2, 2018 | BY ANISA PURBASARI HORTON  6 MINUTE READ

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#Leadership : #WorkSmart – How to Make your #Anxiety Work for You Instead of Against You…Anxiety is Energy, and you can Strike the Right Balance If you Know What to Look For.

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While some cases of anxiety are serious enough to require medical treatment, everyday anxiety is a fact of life and can actually be helpful, says psychologist Bob Rosen, author of Conscious: The Power of Awareness in Business and Life.

The first hurdle to get over is viewing anxiety through a negative lens. “We see anxiety as something to fear and avoid,” says Rosen. “That thinking is self-defeating and makes it worse. In a sense, we need to see anxiety as a wake-up call; a message inside of our mind telling us to pay attention. We need to accept it as a natural part of the human experience.”

Another problem is our faulty thinking around change, says Rosen. “For centuries, it was viewed as dangerous or life threatening,” he says. “But stability is an illusion, and uncertainty is reality. Uncertainty makes you anxious and vulnerable, and anxiety leads you to worry or run away because you’re not in control of life anymore and you feel worse.”

People often move back and forth between too much, just enough, and too little anxiety, and anxiety is contagious, says Rosen: “We communicate our level of anxiety to others because we’re connected to each other,” he says. “Studies show that your blood pressure can go up when you deal with a manger who is disrespectful, unfair, or overly anxious. People are hijacked more and more because of too much anxiety.”

Related: Four tips to help you feel less anxious about the future

Anxiety is energy, and you can strike the right balance if you know what to look for:

TOO MUCH ANXIETY

Some people naturally have too much anxiety, and that’s a problem. “These are the people who need to be right, powerful, in control, and successful,” says Rosen. “They orchestrate everything around them, and are mistrustful or suspicious. They’re scared of inadequacy, failure, being insignificant, or being taken advantage of.”

You have too much anxiety if you tend to expect respect and admiration, are frustrated a lot, question the motives of others, and are overly impatient, says Rosen.

 

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TOO LITTLE ANXIETY

Too little anxiety isn’t good either. “You put your head in the sand in the face of change,” says Rosen. “You don’t want to take risks. You value status quo and live in a bubble.”

You have too little anxiety if you’re too idealistic and cautious, detaching from all of the change around you. “The world is changing faster than our ability to adapt. We need to learn new things, and can’t stay complacent for long,” he says. “It’s important to allow yourself to stretch and to feel just the right amount of anxiety.”

Related: How anxiety affects your decision-making skills

GOOD ANXIETY

Living with the right amount of anxiety provides just enough tension to drive you forward without causing you to resist, give up, or try to control what happens. “It’s a productive energy,” says Rosen.

The first step is getting comfortable being uncomfortable. “A lot of people think the goal of life is to be happy, but it’s not,” says Rosen. “The goal is to live a full life, and sometimes you’ll have good days and sometimes bad days. Develop the skill of being uncomfortable. Knowing you can and will get through it is important.”

Listen to your body; it speaks to you, says Rosen. “Whether it’s stomach pain or heart palpitations or a stiff neck or back, these are ways the body tells you that you are anxious,” he says.

Ask yourself why you’re anxious. Is it because you’re excited? How you interpret anxiety could be good or bad. If you’re about to give a speech, for example, anxiety is good. Instead of trying to avoid it, understand it. “If you’re not anxious, you’re probably not going to give a great speech,” says Rosen. “And if you’re too anxious, that won’t be a great speech, either.”

When you have too much anxiety, it’s often because you’re telling yourself a story. “For example, ‘If I don’t do a good job I’ll get fired,’ ‘My boss hates me,’ or ‘I’m going to embarrass myself,’” says Rosen. It’s often not the event that causes anxiety; it’s the story we tell ourselves about it.”

When this happens, take a long walk or breathe deeply if you have too much anxiety. Meditation is a force that helps you live in the present moment. “When you meditate, you get a better sense of how your body and mind are reacting,” he says. “Deep breathing creates a direct connection between your breath and reducing stress. You can get a sense of the source of the anxiety, peel back the onion, and find the cause.”

All change happens in the gap between our current reality and desired future, says Rosen. “We have a problem we want to solve or have a goal we want to accomplish,” he says. “In the gap sits our motivation, our engagement, and our anxiety. Anxiety is the energy that moves us across the gap. We need to have enough energy to change. You can’t change or transform yourself unless you allow yourself to feel uncertainty and vulnerability.”

 

FastCompany.com | July 17, 2018 | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA 4 MINUTE READ

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#Leadership : #WorkSmart – 4 Ways to Make #Anxiety Work for You…Don’t let Anxiety Drive you into Overwhelm or Procrastination. Here are Four Ways to Beat It & Take Back your Focus.

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We’re getting more anxious.

A March 2018 survey from the American Psychiatric Association found that 39% of Americans report being more anxious than last year. Worries about everything from health to finances have us feeling more on edge.

But the word “anxiety” is one that people tend to throw around casually—and, sometimes, problematically. For some, anxiety is a debilitating condition that keeps them in “fight or flight” response and affects their ability to function. For others, anxiety is an edgy sensation that can be harnessed to improve performance, says Washington, D.C.-based licensed clinical psychologist Alicia H. Clark, author of Hack Your Anxiety.

If anxiety is unrelenting and chronically interfering with daily life, it’s a good idea to consult a doctor or mental health profession. But moderate anxiety can be useful, Clark says. “It’s always trying to tell us something that we care about. Alert us to things that we might not be noticing or tending to,” she says. Try these four ways to harness that anxious feeling and make it work for you.

 

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NAME IT

When your anxiety is uncomfortable, explore what’s making you feel that way, Clark says. Explore the fear or nervousness and work on figuring out what’s at the heart of it. What is making you anxious? Why do you feel this way? Once you can name the feeling specifically, you can begin to address it and change your thinking about it, she says.

For example, if you’re doing a presentation to a new prospect and your anxiety about it is getting the better of you, think about why you’re feeling that way. It may be because you’re unsure of your presentation skills and need more practice. It could be because you really need this sale and you’re worried that you might not be successful. Each are valid reasons for feeling anxious, but have different remedies, she says. Let the anxiety tell you what you need to address for better performance.

CONFRONT IT

Sometimes, anxiety is trying to warn us of something or share a message about a risk or circumstance, says therapist and career coach Lauren Appio, PhD, founder of New York City-based Appio Psychological Consulting. “Often, that’s the reason why people go to therapy, so that they can become more attuned to those signals, when you tend to be able to say, “Okay, what I know about myself is that I tend to have this kind of reaction to situations where I feel incompetent or I felt inadequate,” she says. Think about the warning signs that lie in your anxiety, and what you need to address to be able to release it.

DIFFUSE IT

If your anxious feelings are overwhelming, give yourself a break, says Ashley Hampton, PhD, a Trussville, Alabama, psychologist who specializes in entrepreneurial productivity. Your ability to do this may vary, depending on the situation. If you’re about to speak in front of a group, you might need to do a few deep breathing exercises. If you’re getting overwhelmed with a big project, you may need to take a break from it and go for a walk, or do some mindless activity to distract yourself, she says.

Meditation may also be useful. One study from the University of Waterloo found that as little as 10 minutes of meditation helps anxious people have better focus. Plus, meditation delivers a host of other benefits.

REFRAME IT

Once you are clear on the reason for your feelings, you can begin to think about them in different ways—also called reframing–to your advantage. Anxiety, when it’s not overwhelming, can sharpen your focus and improve performance, Clark says.

So, instead of being fearful of the challenge you’re facing, work on focusing on the opportunity within it. Think about the positive aspects of being excited about the presentation and the potential benefit it holds. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Individual Differences found that people who acknowledged their anxiety were better able to use it to motivate them.

As more people feel the challenges of anxiety, listening to its messages and finding ways to release the negative aspects and channel its power into performance are important skills to master.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gwen Moran writes about business, money and assorted other topics for leading publications and websites. She was named a Small Business Influencer Awards Top 100 Champion in 2015, 2014, and 2012 and is the co-author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Business Plans (Alpha, 2010), and several other books.

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FastCompany.com | July 11, 2018

#Leadership : 5 #EmotionallyIntelligent Habits For Handling Work Frustrations…It’s All About What you Do in the Moment–and Don’t Do.

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Unless you lack basic social skills, it’s hard to imagine getting in trouble for expressing positive feelings at work. Sharing enthusiasm and encouragement  is usually beneficial to everyone around you. It’s the feelings on the other end of the spectrum that most of us struggle with. We’ve all gotten frustrated or overwhelmed at work.

Maybe someone less qualified gets a promotion you worked hard to earn. Or a coworker takes credit for something you did. The slackers on your team land a major project opportunity, despite the countless hours you spent working on the proposal. Or worse, the idea you submit gets rejected and criticized. These situations will make even the most even-tempered people feel angry, frustrated, disappointed, resentful, and afraid. But it’s not the situations themselves that make or break us, it’s how we respond to them. And that just takes practice. Here are five emotionally intelligent habits that can help you keep your cool.

Related:Emotionally Intelligent Ways To Express These Feelings In The Workplace

1. WAIT TO REACT

Obviously, it’s not that easy. We feel before we think. But even a couple seconds’ buffer can make a huge difference. If you can practice giving yourself just a short moment to think about your reaction, you can gain a lot more control over what happens next. We all know people whose angry outburst has cost them their goodwill, promotions, and career opportunities, and have generally held them back in life.

Feeling a strong emotion of any kind should send you a cue: I need a second to think. If you have to remove yourself from a situation temporarily, do it. The crucial first step is simply noticing those negative feelings early enough to decide not to react just yet.

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2. NAME THE FEELING

This is the logical next step. Being able to name how you’re feeling takes away some of the power our most unpleasant emotions have over us. Describing a feeling gives you some distance from it, allowing you more clarity. And chances are you can assign a name to the experience you’re having more quickly than you can choose the right response to it.

Related: The Surprising Upsides To Getting Angry At Work

3. SHARE HOW YOU FEEL WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BE OBJECTIVE

The worst thing to do is commiserate with others who hold the same grievances you do–the colleagues who will share in and urge you to hold onto your negativity. Misery loves company. While indulging in it may feel good at the time, it isn’t productive and will keep you stuck in a vicious cycle. The more emotionally intelligent approach is to find someone who’s a great listener and removed enough from the situation to offer an unbiased objective point of view. This is usually someone who has no stake in the circumstances one way or another. When explaining what happened, try to share only the data, not your opinions or feelings.

4. REFLECT ON THE SITUATION LIKE AN OUTSIDE OBSERVER

Try to look at the situation from someone on the outside looking in. Make an honest attempt to try and see things from the perspective of everyone involved. Suspend judgment if you can, and come up with as many possible explanations for what occurred as you can think of–no matter how unlikely they might seem.

This exercise is difficult, but it can help you identify alternative explanations for the situation that’s made you so upset. The tough question is, “What was my part in this–both the positive and the negative?” There may be valuable learnings in this, but at the very least, this habit gives you some time to cool off and redirect your frustration somewhere else.

5. IMAGINE IT’S ONE YEAR LATER

Ask yourself how much this will matter to you one year, five years, or 10 years from now. Consider your long-term goals and plans and think about how this all fits in with where you want to be in the future. Is this really a battle worth fighting, or will it serve you better in the long run to let it go and move on? What will be the likely outcomes of the choices you make from this point on, and how will they help or hinder you?

Feeling upset may seem like something that happens to you–an onrush of negative emotions that you can’t control. But by practicing these techniques, you may begin to see that you still have a choice: You can’t prevent yourself from feeling aggravated, but you can often control what you do about it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Harvey Deutschendorf is an emotional intelligence expert, author and speaker. To take the EI Quiz go to theotherkindofsmart.com.

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FastCompany.com | May 4, 2018 | BY HARVEY DEUTSCHENDORF 3 MINUTE READ

Your #Career : 14 Everyday Habits That Drain Your Energy…Here are 14 Bad Habits that are Easy to Justify in the Moment, But are Hurtful in the Long Term.

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Habits are the foundation of who we are as a person and as a professional. We are the product of our everyday habits, and we choose every day whether we want to improve ourselves, maintain excellence or contribute to our own discontent. But first we must be aware of bad habits, so we can take the necessary steps to change them.

Here are 14 bad habits that are easy to justify in the moment, but are hurtful in the long term:

1- Taking Things Personally  

When you attribute every interaction a person has with you to how they feel about you, it’s exhausting and more often than not it’s not correct. Chances are, it’s not about you, and you’re not helping the situation by taking it personally. Nat taking things personally will save you a lot of stress and your workplace a lot of needless strain.

2- Holding On To The Past  

The past is what it is, there isn’t utility to holding grudges or being angry. The only person you’re impacting by holding on to the past is you. So let things go, if not for them, then for you.

3- Always Checking Email & Social Media  

If someone has to wait a couple of hours for an email, then they wait. The world won’t end, so relax.

 

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4- Constantly Worrying   

Worrying does not solve the problem. If something is out of your hands, then it’s out of your hands and there is no point in worrying about it. If there is something you can do about it, then stop worrying and take action. Worrying is a waste of energy, focus on what you can control.

5- Negativity  

If you are negative you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. You are not only draining your energy, you’re draining your colleagues’ energy, the workplace’s energy, your friends’ and family’s energy, etc. It is not productive, so try and focus on the positive.

6- Sleeping Too Much  

Sleeping too much does not increase your energy, create energy reserves or make you more present when you are awake. It has the opposite impact, too much sleep makes you lethargic. That being said, make sure you’re getting enough sleep, seven to eight hours a night, as it is a major contributor to your health and energy.

7- Poor Diet  

You know what I’m about to say, if you’re eating too much sugar, carbs and trans fat you’re just giving energy away to snacks and meals. Be thoughtful about what you eat, eat food that gives you energy, like greens, lean protein and healthy fats, not food that takes it away.

8- Complaining  

By complaining you are not only projecting negativity, but you’re forcing the people around you to work in spite of it. No one wants to be around the person who complains about everything. Do not be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution, because people do not want to hear it. Do something productive instead.

10- Not Following Through   

Promising a friend, a colleague or your boss something and not following through, you create more stress, anxiety and work for yourself on the back end, and it depletes your self-esteem. Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you will do it and you will have more energy and self-esteem.

11- Being A Passenger 

Being a passenger in your own life and career makes you feel like you are tagging along on your own life. Seize control and get in the driver’s seat. No one is going to care more about your life and career than you will, so if you are unhappy, seize control and change your life.

12- Overthinking  

Once you have thought things through and you make a decision, stand by it. Overthinking things is usually unproductive and just creates needless stress. Square with whatever risk you take with making a certain decision, do what you can to mitigate it, and then follow through. Overthinking doesn’t create a better outcome, it just drains your energy while you’re executing a tough decision, which isn’t good for you.

13- Gossiping And Participating In Drama  

Discussing and creating drama does nothing to advance or career or build better relationships with your colleagues and friends. It is wasting energy on something that likely has nothing to do with you and is not any of your business. Don’t expend energy discussing other people, or trying to make their life more difficult by causing drama. Put that energy into your own self-care and self-improvement.

14- Unhealthy Relationships 

In addition to not complaining, not gossiping and not causing drama, you should not surround yourself with people who do those things. They are toxic, and chances are, if they are talking about people behind their back, they are talking about you too. Surround yourself with people who are positive, and who dedicate their energy to their own excellence and lifting up those around them.

 15- Constantly Trying To Please Others  

You will never please everyone, so it’s best to just try and please yourself. Are you happy and proud of who you are? That’s all that matters, if some people do not like you when you’re at your best, that is not your issue, that is theirs.

 

Forbes.com | May 2, 2018 | Frances Bridges , CONTRIBUTOR