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#Leadership : #ConflictResolution -Why you should Stop Avoiding #Conflict in the #Workplace

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I was recently hired to help a group of doctors work through their issues and get their business back on a growth trajectory. They aren’t talking much. They’re barely making eye contact. After only a few hours, it’s clear to me what’s wrong. I share my diagnosis: “You need more conflict.”

It’s the last thing they expect me to say. They’re already in agony dealing with the smallest decisions. Each meeting is an excruciating cocktail of trepidation, anger, guilt, and frustration. How could they possibly need more conflict?

What they don’t realize is that they’re mired in all those negative emotions because they’re unwilling to work through them. As long as they avoid the topics that are creating anger, guilt, and frustration, they’re stuck with them. There are many topics that they haven’t discussed for years. They’ve tried every way to go around the contentious issues, but now they need to go through them.

THE IMPORTANCE OF CONFLICT

The doctors are not the only ones who avoid conflict. Most of us have been raised to think of conflict as a bad thing. Conventional wisdom holds that conflict is bad for productivity and corrosive to trust and engagement. But that view is totally at odds with how an organization works.

Conflict isn’t bad for organizations: it’s fundamental to them. After all, you need to be able to work through opposing sides of an issue and come to a resolution in the best interest of customers, shareholders, and customers–whether you’re on the shop floor or the boardroom. Conflict is part of strategic planning, resource allocation, product design, talent management, and just about everything else that should happen in an organization.

Unfortunately, most humans don’t embrace conflicts. Rather, we avoid, postpone, evade, duck, dodge, and defer them. The result is conflict debt.

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CONFLICT DEBT

Conflict debt is the sum of all the contentious issues that we need to address to move forward, but remain undiscussed and unresolved. It can be as simple as withholding the feedback that would allow your colleague to do a better job, and as profound as continually deferring a strategic decision while getting further and further behind the competition.

The doctors I worked with are in conflict debt. Each time they avoid the discussions, debates, and disagreements that they need to have to get their business growing again, they sink further in. Think of it like financial debt–when you use credit to buy things you otherwise can’t afford. You want something, maybe even need it, but you don’t have the cash at the time, so you use credit. You rationalize to yourself that you will pay it off as soon as you get your next paycheck, but if you’re like 65% of American credit card holders, you carry that balance over from month to month. The debt mounts, and over time, it gets harder and harder to get out just from under it.

THREE UNPRODUCTIVE WAYS PEOPLE DEAL WITH CONFLICT DEBT

As with financial debt, conflict debt starts innocently. An issue comes up that’s a little too hot to handle, so you defer it. You promise yourself that you’ll revisit it when things are less busy, or when cooler heads prevail. You buy yourself time and space. But days pass, and no spontaneous resolution materializes. Instead, the issue becomes more contentious. Suddenly, you’re in conflict debt.

You’re feeling anxious, and you find yourself steering clear of your colleagues to avoid having to confront the issue. (Have you ever taken the long way around the office so you don’t run into a disgruntled coworker?) You’re feeling frustrated at the lack of progress, not to mention a little guilty for your role in the stalemate. Conflict debt weighs you down.

Avoiding the issue is only one path to conflict debt. Another is to avoid the opposition. In this case, you broach the topic but exclude people who might disagree or cause tension, surrounding yourself with those who agree with you. You focus on how friendly and productive the discussion is, deluding yourself that your solutions are going to fly with the people who you strategically disinvited. But pretending the opposition isn’t there won’t make it disappear. It will resurface when your opponents kill your plan or, worse, leave it to fail.

There’s a third way to get into conflict debt–avoid the friction. Even if you discuss the difficult subject, there’s still room to get yourself into trouble if you veer safely away from the distressing parts of the discussion. When you make it clear (either intentionally or inadvertently) that nothing antagonistic should taint your conversation, you start to rack up conflict debt. I see this all the time when, just as the discussion gets perilously close to the crux of the matter, someone suggests they “take it offline” to avoid having to deal with the conflict. Everyone smiles and pretends that they’ll actually come back to it at some point–when in reality, they’ve just stifled dissent.

Are you avoiding the conflicts that your organization requires you to work through? If so, you are setting your organization, your team, and yourself up for trouble. When you’re unwilling to work through uncomfortable situations, you stretching your resources thin, stifling innovation, and allowing risks to go unnoticed. On your team, the aversion to prickly conversations forces strong performers to compensate for weak ones and mature people to put up with immature ones. At an individual level, you’re probably burning out from the stress.

When your conflict debt gets too high, it becomes overwhelming. You’re exhausted by the thought of trying to pay it off. You’ve destroyed your credit rating with your boss and your coworkers by letting these issues go unresolved for so long. But don’t give up–there are many things you can do to get out from under your conflict debt. That starts with embracing, and not avoiding, conflict in the first place.

This article is adapted from The Good Fight: Use Productive Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Based on Track. It is reprinted with permission from Page Two.

#CareerAdvice : #ProductivePeople – 11 CEOs share the Bad Habits they Want to Ditch in 2019. Great Read!

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While you’re busy making lofty resolutions for 2019, it’s important to also think about the things you don’t want to do in the new year. Whether you’re spending too much time fielding emails or reading the news, chances are you could be more productive—or simply happier—by making a few tweaks in and out of the office. We asked a number of CEOs about the habits they hope to kick in 2019.

MULTITASKING IN AND OUT OF THE OFFICE

It’s no secret that your productivity suffers when you multitask—a habit multiple CEOs said they want to cut back on. Hussein Fazal, the CEO of travel startup SnapTravel, notes that people often spend “downtime” checking work emails and messages—and then spend their “work time” looking at personal emails and messages. (Perhaps this sounds familiar?) “It is super important to compartmentalize these time blocks,” he says, “to ensure maximum productivity while working and to minimize work distractions while enjoying downtime.” To that end, Fazal has turned off nearly all notifications on his phone and frequently keeps his phone on “do not disturb” mode.

But even when you don’t let personal agendas interrupt your workday, it can be difficult to truly focus on one task (and one tab!) at a time. That’s why Heidi Zak, CEO of lingerie startup ThirdLove, no longer brings her laptop to meetings. “I’ve found I’m much more engaged and present,” she says. Cheryl Kaplan, cofounder of shoe startup M.Gemi, says that because she often finds herself multitasking, in 2019 she wants to “focus on being present,” whether it’s at work or at home. “Face time is precious, but sometimes it gets difficult to focus on what or who is in front of me,” she says. “My goal is to put all my attention on the conversation or task at hand, instead of trying to give partial attention to a few different things at once.”

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TAKING YOUR PHONE INTO THE BEDROOM

If you’re dreaming of more peaceful sleep in the new year, you’re on the right track. “Stop trying to be a ‘hustler’ who works 24/7 and never sleeps,” advises Peter Shankman, the CEO of The Geek Factory and an author who has written and spoken extensively about living with ADHD. “Take care of yourself first and foremost. You can’t make a million dollars if you’re dead.” Founders like Tara Foley, the founder of beauty startup Follain, plan to make sleeping well a priority in 2019—even if it means not finishing work. “I get a more restful sleep if I get in bed earlier, and I get more done with my day if I’ve gotten enough sleep,” she says. Alana Branston, CEO of the retail startup Bulletin, intends to start going to bed before midnight.

For some CEOs, sleeping more soundly means unplugging. “I am working on creating a phone-free bedroom environment,” says investor Anu Duggal, who started Female Founders Fund. And Ariel Kaye, the CEO of bedding startup Parachute, is already on her way to a bedroom devoid of screens. “This is extremely challenging for me,” Kaye says. “I’ve started using an alarm clock and charge my phone outside of the bedroom. I’m already seeing the benefits—not only do I sleep much more soundly without the blue light from my phone, but I’m now in the habit of reading at night.”

Plus, the better you sleep, the less likely you are to hit the snooze button—a bad habit that Shankman cautions against. “Getting up a half hour earlier will radically improve your life in countless ways,” he says.

STRETCHING YOURSELF TOO THIN

One way to address both multitasking and sleepless nights is to take on less and say no more, as Eunice Byun—the founder of cookware startup Material—hopes to do in 2019. “As an entrepreneur with an under-one-year-old business, I catch myself feeling like we need to be ready to seize every opportunity,” she says. Over time, she has realized that when she is “more purposeful and intentional” about where she spends her energy, it is easier to stay true to her company mission. “It’s fun and exhilarating to be in hyper-growth mode, but saying ‘no’ can be just as important to growing long-term,” she adds.

As a founder, doing less also means delegating effectively—something that can be difficult if you have built a company from the ground up. “The single worst habit I have—that I continue to work on—is micromanagement,” says Zahir Dossa, CEO of beauty startup Function of Beauty. “It isn’t easy to detach from the day-to-day tasks that I was once used to occupying. The most important thing that leads me to let go of things, however, is trust in the people [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][who] now lead these initiatives.”

NOT COUNTING YOUR WINS

Vivian Shen, founder of coding startup Juni Learning, says that in 2019, she wants to focus on creating good habits. One of those is making time to take stock of positive developments. “Given all the negative news throughout the past year, I believe it is more important than ever to practice gratitude,” she says. “We so often focus on what went wrong or what we could have done better. We don’t intentionally take the time to reflect on and truly celebrate the wins at work or in our personal lives. As a CEO, I feel that consistently showing appreciation for our team’s accomplishments needs to be core to our company’s DNA if we’re going to build a successful, long-term company.”

Pavithra Mohan is an assistant editor for Fast Company Digital. Her writing has previously been featured in Gizmodo and Popular Science magazine.

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FastCompany.com | December 26, 2018

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#Leadership : #ProductivePeople – Three Hacks to Help your Brain Learn Stuff Faster…Getting to Know your Basal Ganglia can Help you Waste Less Time Cramming (and forgetting what you’ve learned later on).

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Trying to learn some new skills and improve your current ones? Join the club. Unfortunately, many of us find the learning process slow, tedious, and painful. But the good news is that there are a few brain science–backed techniques to help you acquire and master new skills a bit more speedily. Here’s a look at three of them.

As you attempt to master a skill, intentionally engage in repeated practice sessions that allow you to fail, adapt and try again. It’s this process that will enable you to improve and eventually become competent in the skill.

Related: How to teach your brain something it won’t forget a week later

1. TAP INTO THE SPACING EFFECT

Skill-acquisition isn’t an event, it’s a process. If you truly want to master a new skill, it’s far better to invest small amounts of time over an extended period than a large amount of time all at once. This is what researchers call the “spacing effect,” which refers to the finding that skill-development tends to improve when learning is spaced out over time.

You’re probably thinking, “But wait, wouldn’t this take longer?” Not necessarily. Because the spacing effect has been shown to boost retention, spreading out your learning process over a period of time limits the likelihood that you’ll have to go back to brush up (or start over completely) a week or a month or a year later. Since the late 19th century, psychologists (and anyone who’s ever crammed for an exam) have known that one of the biggest hindrances to learning is forgetting. So, counterintuitive as it may sound, being a little more patient in the short term may help you reduce your overall time spent learning in the long-run.

Related: What it takes to change your brain’s patterns after age 25

 

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2. TRAIN YOUR BASAL GANGLIA

Most of us focus on comprehension when we’re attempting to improve a skill. That may seem sensible enough, but science shown that while understanding is vital to heightening proficiency (it’s hard to improve when you don’t know how), it isn’t enough to obtain mastery. Turning any newly acquired knowledge into an actual skill requires engaging a part of your brain that heavily impacts learning and movement, known as the “basal ganglia.”

There are two things you’ll need to know about your basal ganglia: First, it learns slowly. Unlike other regions of the brain–such as the neocortex, which deals with the executive functions of the brain and learns quickly–the basal ganglia takes much longer to absorb new experiences and information. Second, it learns by repeatedly performing the behavior. For instance, when teaching a kid to ride a bike you can explain how to steer and pedal the bicycle in a few minutes. But while she may understand conceptually how to operate the bike, her initial attempts will probably be pretty unsuccessful. Why? Because riding a bicycle, like all skills, requires training the basal ganglia, which takes repetition and practice.

As you attempt to master a skill, intentionally engage in repeated practice sessions that allow you to fail, adapt and try again. It’s this process that will enable you to improve and eventually become competent in the skill. Because when it comes to training your basal ganglia, repetition is the key to mastery.

Related: No pain, no brain gain: Why learning demands (a little) discomfort

3. STOP TRYING TO STRETCH YOUR ATTENTION SPAN

Learning how to execute any new skill competently takes one crucial factor many of us don’t pay enough attention to: attention. Human attention is complex, with many factors influencing how attentive we can be at any given moment. Still, there’s at least one way to improve your ability to pay attention, and it’s amazingly simple: Just stop trying to stretch your attention span beyond its ordinary limits.

If you find yourself getting distracted while trying to learn something, press pause, then break up the learning process into shorter segments. It’s called “micro-learning,” and neuroscientist John Medina has summed up the concept in what he calls the “10 Minute Rule”; his research suggests that the brain’s ability to pay attention typically plummets to near-zero after roughly 10 minutes. So focus instead on developing a skill over numerous, short sessions. This will can help you give the task your full attention and obtain maximum results in the shortest time possible. Plus, it all but guarantees that you’ll leverage the spacing effect and avoid forgetting everything later.

None of this brain science is especially complicated, but the reality is that each of us often behaves in ways that make it harder for our brains to grasp a particular skill. Short, focused bursts of repeated practice may seem inefficient when you block out all those learning sessions in your calendar. But from your brain’s point of view, it’s the fastest route to mastery.

 

FastCompany.com | July 22, 2018 

#Leadership : Secrets of the Most #ProductivePeople – How to Check Email on Vacation and Still Enjoy Yourself…Smartphones Often Blur the Line Between Professional & Personal Life, so If you Must Check your #WorkEmail , Follow these Guidelines to Set Some Limits.

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Let’s be real. If you’re going on vacation this summer, you’re probably going to check your email. More than 62% of travelers make it a point to check their work-related email and voice mail, according to a new poll by Travel Leaders Group, a travel agency.

Email is a hard habit to break because we’re attached to technology, says Vicki Salemi, career expert for the job site Monster. “In most jobs, we never shut off, so going on vacation can be particularly challenging because you want to instantly disconnect once you put your ‘out of office’ on, but it’s not that easy for most,” she says. “You may feel like you’re missing out, or that a project will fall behind if you’re not constantly checking emails.”

Smartphones often blur the line between your professional and personal life. You may be making reservation plans on your device and convince yourself that a quick perusal of work email to clean your inbox while you’re away won’t be so bad, Salemi adds. “Next thing you know, an hour has gone by, and you’re completely in the work zone when you should be detaching and relaxing instead,” she says.

Related: How to stop checking email on vacation

If you’re going to check it anyway, it helps to plan how it fits into your vacation, and to set limits.

PREPARE

A week before you leave, let colleagues and clients know you’ll be gone, giving them time to get information from you before you leave. Let key players know how to reach you in case of a true emergency, such as calling or texting immediately, to reduce your worries that you’re missing something urgent, says Elaine Varelas, managing partner of Keystone Partners, a career management firm.

“Make sure your out-of-office reminder is set with a note advising that you are away on holiday and will respond to email after your return,” she says. “And advise colleagues that unless the subject includes ‘please respond’ or ‘urgent,’ you will respond after your vacation.”

Delegate your projects and direct people elsewhere during your absence. Be specific in your out-of-office response, says Salemi. For example, “For billing inquires, contact [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][insert colleague’s name here]” or “For technology issues, contact [another colleague’s name here].”

Zapier is a tool that links the apps you use at work, such as Gmail, Asana, and Slack, to automate daily tasks. During vacation use it to automatically push inbound emails into Slack so the team can stay in the loop on external communications while someone is out of the office.

 

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SET BOUNDARIES WHILE YOU’RE GONE

Check emails in the morning before anyone else is awake, says Varelas. “Do it alone, so others don’t feel overlooked or as if they aren’t your first priority during your planned time off,” she says.

Keep it short, says Salemi. “For example, 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening to only respond to emails that require action,” she says.

You may need an accountability partner, adds Salemi. “Make a pact with one of your travel mates that if they see you on your phone responding to a message that’s work-related—and yes, they can ask for you to hand over your phone to check—you owe them a small amount of money, such as $5 or $10,” she suggests.

Also decide where you’re allowed to check emails. “If you’re on a beach, on a boat, in a museum, don’t check emails, enjoy the moment and your surroundings,” says Salemi. “Only check emails when you shouldn’t be in the moment instead, like in your hotel room, on the balcony, or prior to working out.”

Related: A brilliant strategy to avoid checking emails on vacation: auto-delete them

DON’T ENGAGE

Reading email is different than responding to email. “As soon as you engage in any manner, such as forward, reply, or read triggering a message read-return receipt, people will start emailing more, assuming you are online,” says Varelas. “Do not encourage this.”

If you absolutely must respond, do it as efficiently as possible. “And certainly never after any alcohol becomes part of a vacation activity,” says Varelas. “Do not let any negative reaction to work email impact your mood with your vacation pals. They are on vacation, and wish you were, too.”

Related: The out-of-office template you should use this holiday season

PREPARE FOR RE-ENTRY

Organize your email as you scan it. Salemi suggest creating folders and move emails within certain categories into their respective folders such as “follow up,” “budgeting” or “the team.” This will help you handle it more efficiently when you return.

Then block out an hour at the top and bottom of your first day back, says Varelas. “Give yourself time to address the email that piled up while you were gone,” she says.

Unplugging from email—even if you just decreased the amount of time you usually spend—can help you enjoy your time away. “One of the most important things to remember is that studies have shown you’ll be more productive after you return from vacation if you’ve truly logged off to the best of your ability,” says Salemi. “Your boss and company will thank you, especially as your morale and creativity will hopefully be boosted after you’ve given yourself the time you needed to literally reboot.”

 

FastCompany.com | July 3, 2018 | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA 4 MINUTE READ

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#Leadership : Secrets of the Most #ProductivePeople -The Best Way to Use All those 5 Minutes of #Downtime Every Day…When you Have a Few Spare Minutes During the Day, you Probably Default to Checking Email. Here are More #ProductiveWays to use “Found Time.”

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Whether your meeting ended early or that project didn’t take as long as you thought, chances are you’ve got some found time on your hands at some point during the day. If you’re like most people, you default to checking email. If you had a system in place, however, you could use those unexpected minutes to get something done, says productivity consultant Leslie Shreve, founder and CEO of Productive Day.

“Most people don’t know how to jump in and take advantage of time because nothing is prepared and sitting in front of them,” she says. “The key is to proactively plan for those five-, 10-, or 15-minute bits of time that often appear throughout the average workday.”

And there are a lot of them. A study by the staffing firm OfficeTeam found that the average employee squanders 56 minutes every day, which adds up to nearly five hours a week that could be used on meaningful work.

START WITH AN INVENTORY

We’re not being proactive with our time because we’re managing tasks from paper to-do lists, emails, voicemails, conversations, notes, files, and ideas. “Those are tools; not systems,” says Shreve.

What’s necessary is a master list, or inventory, of all of your tasks. Shreve likens it to creating a mission control. Bigger than a brain dump, she suggests going around your desk and recording all of your tasks and projects. Look at files and papers on your desk: Things that are left out are often done so as reminders of what needs to be done, she says. As you note action items, you build your task inventory.

“You have to take time in your busy day to do this, but it can help you save a lot of time in the end,” says Shreve. “To make progress on meaningful work you need small action steps. You cannot get progress without project management. Unless you’re prepared, things will be lost or forgotten.”

Tasks should be small, Shreve says, only reflecting the first action step to get something started, or the next action step to keep something moving forward. “These small but powerful steps can move multi-step tasks, projects, and initiatives forward consistently and with ease,” she says.

Use a digital system, such as a spreadsheet, to record your full inventory of tasks—everything you need to do, no matter the source of the task or when action will take place. A paper to-do list needs to be completed, while a digital list is a system, says Shreve. With all your tasks in one system, you can plan and prioritize for certain days, weeks, and months into the future.

When you have found time, check your inventory and find a task that fits. For example, five minutes is enough time to make a phone call that you know will go to voicemail, schedule an appointment, or knock out a quick action step that will keep a priority or a project moving forward.

“Having an inventory of all tasks in one system allows you to make smart decisions about how to use your time, because all tasks are documented and ready for action,” says Shreve. “You can easily become more proactive and less reactive throughout the day.”

PLAN YOUR DAY

An inventory of tasks also helps you plan your day. When you get to work in the morning, check your task list and get to work. Looking at your inventory, priorities often bubble to the top, and Shreve suggests choosing four to seven items to do that day.

“You can always change it, and make it reflect what you really want or need to do that day,” says Shreve. “Your day and task list is never static.”

Working without a system is like grocery shopping; it’s easy to miss items because there’s often no order to the layout of the store, says Shreve. “You only buy the items you can find or that are in front of you,” she says. “Similarly, you can only do the tasks that you know about or see in your vision, and if you don’t have time to check 10 different places for the possibilities, something will be missed.”

MINUTES DRIVE RESULTS

While they seem inconsequential in the moment, those small amounts of time are essential for achieving results. “Inner work life matters for companies because, no matter how brilliant a company’s strategy might be, the strategy’s execution depends on great performance by people inside the organization,” write Harvard Business School professor Theresa Amabile and development psychologist Steven Kramer in their book The Progress Principle. “When progress happens in small steps, a person’s sense of steady forward movement toward an important goal can make all the difference between a great day and a terrible one.”

Knowing what’s possible allows you to take action on the most important tasks at the right times throughout the day, says Shreve. “You can use your time more wisely and with purpose,” she says. “You stop guessing and start knowing what to do and when to do it. It’s a priceless benefit from having a complete system and a workday strategy that works.”

 

FastCompany.com | May 29, 2018 | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA 4 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : How To Get Better At Saying “No” ….You Don’t Have to Let the Guilty Voice in your Head Get the Best of You.

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You’re running around with a million things to do, and you’ve barely made a dent in your to-do list. Then someone asks you to take on a project you definitely don’t have time for, and you answer “yes” without thinking.

Learning to say “no” is an ongoing challenge, but it’s a skill you can refine every day. Just like you diligently polish your writing and presentation prowess, you need to apply the same level of discipline when it comes to declining a request or invitation.

Related:What Happened When I Avoided Saying “No Problem” For A Month

WHY IT’S SO HARD TO SAY NO

Why is it that saying “no” can feel socially awkward and disingenuous? When Fast Company‘s Michael Grothaus tracked how many times he said “yes” and “no” in a week, he found that he said “no” twice but responded “yes” to over 50 requests. “I say ‘yes’ to everything because I don’t want to come across as mean, lazy, boring, or uncaring,” Grothaus wrote in 2015.

You might feel similarly without even realizing it. Here’s a possible thought you might have (subconsciously or otherwise): “If I say that I can’t help with my team’s annual charity food drive, I’m pushing work onto others who are likely as busy as me.” You’re assuming that if you decline, you’re being impolite, so you really should just help out because others are, and it’s the right thing to do.

The thing is, that “should” indicates that you’re prioritizing being polite over being genuine. You’ve probably experienced that burdened feeling other times you’ve wanted to turn something down. Rather than going with your gut, you say “yes,” and then immediately feel the conflict. It’s sometimes helpful to ask, “If I don’t do this, will it matter in three weeks, three months, three years from now?” This way, you’ll get a more accurate picture of whether your lack of participation is genuinely critical.

It might not feel like it, but you’re largely in control of how busy you are. When you accept a meeting or an assignment that you don’t really have the bandwidth for, you might escape the discomfort of expressing your regrets but you give up the time to think, rejuvenate, and take care of yourself.

Related:These Are The Five Times You Should Say “No” To An Opportunity

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WHEN TO SAY “YES” AND WHEN TO SAY “NO”

It helps to have a definitive system to be able to say “no” in a way that feels right. One thing you can do is create a list of your top priorities, and only say yes to projects that move you closer to them. Personally, I find it helpful to run through a mental checklist before accepting anything. Here are the questions I usually ask myself:

  • Is this urgent, or can it wait?
  • Can someone else besides me do it?
  • If I say “yes” to this, what am I saying “no” to?

If it does become clear that you should say no, remember that you don’t have to provide an explanation. Just be upfront, polite, genuine, and, if appropriate, offer an alternative solution. Here’s a good example: “I wish I could meet, but I don’t have a lot of free time this quarter. Would a quick phone call work instead? Let me know, I’d like to help.”

If you’re prone to overcommitting, this approach can help you determine what to take on and what to decline. I also like to keep in mind the following quote from entrepreneur Derek Sivers: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.” As Grothaus pointed out, the outcome of saying no is seldom as bad as what you think it might be: “The sky won’t fall, your family won’t stop loving you, and your boss won’t fire you–heck, everyone will probably respect you and your time more if you say ‘no’ more often.”

Mikaela Kiner is the founder and CEO of uniquelyHR, providing fast-growth companies including startups and scale-ups with flexible HR services. You can find her on Twitter @uniquelyHR or LinkedIn.

 

FastCompany.com | April 24, 2018 | BY MIKAELA KINER 3 MINUTE READ