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#Leadership : #OlderWorkers – Everyone In My Office Is 30 Years Younger Than Me… As SYPartners’ Senior Adviser & Entrepreneur-in-Residence, Sherri Leopard, 62, is Often the Oldest Person in the Room, and she Explains Why That’s a Plus.

Sherri Leopard has experienced being unique many times in her career. During her early professional life as a marketing consultant in technology, Leopard found herself in projects where she would be the only female member, as well as the youngest.

Having grown up in a lower-middle-class household, she also found herself at odds with many of her privileged friends who graduated from elite colleges. Yet she persevered and thrived, building and running a marketing consultancy with blue-chip clients such as IBM, SAP, Siemens, and Motorola. In 2006, she sold her consultancy, Leopard, to advertising giant WPP. Leopard became a wholly-owned subsidiary of Ogilvy & Mather.

Sherri Leopard [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Photo: courtesy of SYPartners]

Many years later, as a senior adviser and entrepreneur-in-residence for SYPartners, Leopard would find herself–once again–as the unique person in the room.  But this time, it would be as the oldest person in an office full of twenty- and thirtysomethings. Leopard recently chatted to Fast Company about how working with younger employees has helped shaped her way of thinking, and the misconceptions about older workers that she wishes everyone would drop. Here’s her experience in her own words, edited for length and clarity.

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE DECADES OLDER THAN ALL YOUR COWORKERS

All of the people that I work with on a day-to-day basis are 20 to 30 years younger than me. The company is young, young, young, and many of them come from prestigious schools. Me? I went to Metropolitan State University in Denver. I came from a lower-middle-class upbringing–and I think part of the way that manifests in me is being really practical. Everyone else would have these debates about really minute things, and I tend to be super impatient and cut to the chase. Of course, I’ve had to learn to do it in a way that doesn’t stifle people’s creativity.

To be honest, I don’t think people tend to focus on the fact that I’m older. There is a designer on my team who is 24 years old, and the other day he told me, I think of you as a mentor, but you’re not someone who just gives me advice, because you’ve done all these things. We get in and figure out stuff together and when we’re solving a problem. We’re solving it as equals.

Related:I Was The Only Woman In My Company For Two Long Years 


ON LEARNING FROM YOUNGER WORKERS

As a former CEO who happens to be the oldest person in the office, over my three years at SYPartners, I’ve really struggled with not being right and the need to be right. It took a while for me to be comfortable with learning from the young people who challenge me. That’s been a journey. In one of my earliest projects, that was really hard. I was on a team that just saw things so differently.

The perspective shift came during my work with BlackRock–who we’ve been working with on their diversity and inclusion initiatives. Something finally jelled in my brain, and now it’s much easier to be in situations where people are challenging my thinking. Had I learned that earlier in my career, I would have been a much better CEO. I’ve realized that we need those differences in the workplace to solve the sorts of complex problems we’re presented with today.

Of course, there will always be a generational gap. When I hear about young women discussing salaries, I think, in my generation, people didn’t talk about what they got paid. But I think that young people are a lot smarter because that transparency is going to pay off.

Another obvious generational gap is my aversion to social media. I feel like young people around me try to pull me into that world and occasionally I’ll go, okay, I get it, I get why I need to do it. But I’ve had times where I’ve gone through six rounds of writing a Medium post and I can never bring myself to post it. The younger people will be telling me, “Just do it, and you’ll get more comfortable.” But I still can’t do it.


Related:Good American’s CEO On Being The Only Black Woman In The Room: “I Don’t Notice”


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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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ON THE IMPORTANCE OF ENDURANCE

I think that my stamina is an advantage I have, as an older worker. When I was doing marketing and communications work, I did a lot of speech writing. I’d have clients call me very last minute, often very early in the morning. I remembered watching my then client, a senior VP at IBM, outwork me even though he was probably 20 years older. At that time I realized, oh my gosh, the game here is actually endurance. I realized then how important it is to be physically strong, eat healthy, exercise, and just be really mindful about my health. I think that investment I’ve been making for years in my health is really paying off. Today, young people in my team will go, geez, you’re the Energizer bunny!


Related:Why You Should Recruit Older Workers 


ON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT BEING AN OLDER WORKER

I feel like there’s this misconception that older people just can’t keep up, whether that’s keeping up with anything in the world, or physically. Well, I’m just going to prove in my little circle of the world that we can keep up. I do think that to succeed at this age, you need to have a growth mind-set. There are so many people my age who believe that the world is prejudiced against them. I deeply believe that there’s an experience in all of us that can be reshaped and reapplied in a new way. The question is, do you choose to reinvent yourself?

FastCompany.com | April 16, 2018 | BY ANISA PURBASARI HORTON 4 MINUTE READ

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Your #Career : The Right and Wrong Way to Manage Up at the Office…Don’t Assume Good Work will Speak for Itself—the Burden is Usually on you to Find a Way to #Communicate with your #Boss .

It’s an ability that can shape your career more than almost any other—but many employees don’t know how to do it.

Managing up, or building smooth, productive relationships with higher-ups, requires understanding and adapting to your boss’s communication and decision-making style. Many people are promoted because of the quality of their work. But as newly minted managers aim to rise in the ranks, assuming their work will speak for itself becomes increasingly hazardous to their careers.

Roberta Matuson felt unprepared after she rose to a senior human-resources job years ago. “I was tossed into the executive suite with little more than a prayer, wondering, ‘What the heck do you do?’ ” she says. She focused on doing her job well but failed to build relationships with her bosses, leaving her with few allies.

When the company went public, “I got taken out by a wave I didn’t see coming” while the rest of the management team kept their jobs, she says. “You have to toot your own horn in a sea of cubicles to be heard.” Ms. Matuson is now a Brookline, Mass., leadership coach and author of the management book “Suddenly in Charge.”

Employees are getting less help learning these skills as companies shift training dollars toward senior leaders at the expense of middle- and low-level employees. The proportion of employers spending more than $1,000 a person annually to train middle managers, supervisors and rank-and-file employees fell below one-third in the past two years, according to a 2017 survey of 237 employers by Brandon Hall Group. Meanwhile, employers spending that much on training senior leaders rose to 58% in 2017 from 55% in 2015, says David Wentworth, a principal learning analyst for the research and advisory firm.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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Some bosses readily explain to subordinates how and when they want to communicate. Others do better when offered multiple-choice questions, says Julie Kantor, a New York City executive coach. How often do you want updates: daily, weekly or only when I have something to report? Do you prefer phone, instant messaging, email or face-to-face?

If you must bring the boss a problem, offer at least one potential solution. And respect the boss’s time. Mario Gabriele served as chief of staff for And Co, a New York City provider of software for freelancers that was recently acquired by Fiverr, a freelance marketplace. Rather than running to his bosses whenever he had a question, he waited until he could say, “I have these 10 things that we can cross off in 10 minutes,” Mr. Gabriele says. His boss, Leif Abraham, says Mr. Gabriele’s approach enabled him to give more thoughtful answers, and served as a useful update on his work.

A common pitfall is taking a boss’s behavior personally as a sign that “this person is just trying to annoy me,” says Robert Tanner, a Lacey, Wash., leadership and business consultant. Many tensions have a less sinister explanation, based on differences in how people see things and make decisions, he says.

Short of giving your boss a personality test, it’s possible to understand a manager’s style by reading such books as “Please Understand Me,” a classic on personality types, and watching how your boss communicates and makes decisions, Mr. Tanner says. Is she quick to act, or more thoughtful and reflective? Does he focus on facts, or intuitive signals or insights?

One financial-services executive was at odds with his subordinates until he and they understood they had different decision-making styles, says Mr. Tanner, who coached both the executive and his team. The executive tended to make decisions intuitively and change his mind a lot. Employees who preferred a more fact-based approach concluded he was indecisive and cared only about himself. Understanding their conflicting styles helped employees stop taking the executive’s behavior personally and frame their complaints in a way that mattered to him—by explaining that he was hurting the department’s reputation.

Employees also need to understand the boss’s priorities, Dr. Kantor says. What seems like a small error to an employee might look like a systemic failure to a boss with a broader realm to manage, she says. This includes being mindful of how your performance affects your boss’s success.

Bill Sandbrook, chief executive officer of U.S. Concrete in Euless, Texas, says he once gave a manager a big promotion, knowing he’d need mentoring to handle the increased responsibility. Mr. Sandbrook had a stake in the manager’s success, and he was disappointed when the man refused to accept coaching or even answer questions. “The power had gone to his head” and he soon left the company, Mr. Sandbrook says. “The new manager can’t be too proud to show when he doesn’t know something, and he has to totally swallow his ego and listen.”

It pays to figure out what motivates your boss, Dr. Kantor says. Does he or she need to look important? Find ways to help her talk about her successes, Dr. Kantor says. Does he want to be in control? Give him lots of information about what you’re doing and offer choices about next steps so he can make the decision.

It also pays to learn the unwritten rules of your workplace: How are disagreements handled here? When is it OK to interrupt a meeting?

Laura Williams’s boss, Rick Miller, chief executive of Sensible Financial Planning, a Waltham, Mass., investment-advisory firm, sometimes gets tied up in meetings or calls and fails to show up on time for appointments she has scheduled with him. Ms. Williams, an associate financial adviser, knows it’s OK to knock on Mr. Miller’s door when he’s more than five minutes late. She also knows the exceptions to the rule—such as avoiding interruptions when he’s on a client call, which he blocks out in red on his calendar.

“Getting to know how your boss prefers to deal with things is important,” Ms. Williams says. Mr. Miller, who includes “managing up” as a target ability on employees’ performance reviews, gives Ms. Williams high marks.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT WITH YOUR BOSS

  • Figure out and adapt to your bosses’ communication styles by watching them interact with others.
  • Seek agreement on how and when to update your boss on your work.
  • Ask yourself whether tensions with the boss may be a problem of clashing styles rather than more fundamental conflicts.
  • Avoid escalating problems to the boss too quickly, before you’ve tried solving them yourself.
  • When you bring the boss a problem, also bring at least one potential solution.
  • If you must disagree with your boss, do it privately, in a calm voice during a low-stress time.
  • Never bad-mouth your bosses behind their backs.
  • Never embarrass your boss in front of others.
  • Avoid overload by asking your boss for help prioritizing projects, rather than saying no.

Write to Sue Shellenbarger at sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com

WSJ.com | April 11, 2018 | Sue Shellenbarger 

 

#Leadership : 3 Ways Walking Away From Your Desk Makes You Smarter…When the Body Moves the Brain Functions Better.

Exercise can improve concentration, learning, creativity and memory. Basically, moving more makes you smarter, mentally faster and more creative. And all of that helps you to grow your business.

Man at Computer with Boss

When you’re running a business, you need to think clearly, learn fast and find creative solutions to pressing problems. While you’re probably pretty good at these things, it’s likely you could be better. You can improve just about every mental power in your entrepreneurial arsenal by doing one thing – moving more.

Most people believe that sitting at a desk for hours on end gets loads of work done. We certainly live in a culture that valorizes putting in long days at the office. Which often means, putting in long days in our chairs. Unfortunately, we’re learning that our productivity declines as our sitting increases. Those long hours at the desk have diminishing returns. The brain functions better when the body moves.

Here are three huge mental benefits to moving more.

1. Think clearer.

A recent study showed that by working at standing desks, students could improve test scores by 20 percent. Think about how that could translate to your daily performance.

The more you can move around during the day, the more focused, alert and mentally capable you become. Why? Because you’re increasing blood flow – nutrients and oxygen — to the brain. No wonder those test scores went up.

Another study revealed that children who did aerobic exercise for 20 minutes before writing math tests improved their scores. It also showed that children, who regularly exercised, had larger regions of their brains related to attention, controlling their thoughts and restraining impulses. These mental strengths help us maintain focus, and follow through on our intentions. These results were confirmed in young adults too, so it’s not just children, who benefit from exercise before mental tasks.

Take a walk or climb some stairs before you meet with a new client or make an important presentation. You will be more focused, attentive and mentally clear.

Related: 7 Reasons the CEO Should Get Outside to Exercise

 

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2. Learn faster.

Another study of children in the UK found that 15 minutes of exercise improved learning in math by about a quarter of a grade and that the increments in performance continued right up to 60 minutes – meaning that 60 minutes of activity made it possible to boost learning and academic performance by a full grade.

And a recent study, focused on adults, showed that as little as 20 minutes of yoga can improve brain function.

According to Neha Gothe, it appears that following yoga practice, the participants were better able to focus their mental resources, process information quickly, more accurately and also learn, hold and update pieces of information more effectively.

Our brains are more receptive to learning; learn more quickly; and maintain our learning over time when we move our bodies more.

Related: Exercise Is One Thing Most Successful People Do Everyday

3. Be more creative.

Bob Marley did some very interesting things to supercharge his creativity and performance. Before concerts, Marley and his band would play soccer in the stadium, where they were going to perform. And before recording sessions, they would go down to the beach for soccer and a swim before heading into the studio. They found that if they played outside before playing music, they were better.

Exercise boosts creativity because it reduces stress, fear and anxiety, all of which interfere with our ability to imagine new possibilities. It’s hard to tackle an emerging problem, rethink a presentation or invent a new solution when distracted by stress or anxiety. Moving more opens your mind to creative possibilities and allows you to see things in a new way. Walking appears to be particularly effective at boosting creativity.

Exercise can improve concentration, learning, creativity and memory. Basically, moving more makes you smarter, mentally faster and more creative. And all of that helps you to grow your business.

Entrepreneur.com |  September 28, 2016 | Greg Wells

#Life : 9 Yoga Poses You Can Do At Your Desk Without Looking Really Weird (Infographic)…Don’t Settle for Inactivity. Research by the Lancet Estimates that Inactivity Costs the World Around $67.5 Billion a Year.

If you’re a yogi or yogini, you know the benefits of yoga on the body — it can help make you happier and improve flexibility and focus — but sometimes co-workers don’t exactly appreciate your mid-day yoga routine (this is no Ashrama).

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happy young business man portrait in bright modern office indoor

Don’t settle for inactivity. Research by the Lancet estimates that inactivity costs the world around $67.5 billion a year.

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Luckily, you can avoid inactivity while in the office. JFK Blog has compiled yoga poses that you can do at your desk without getting weird stares from the cubicle next door. Check them out in the Infographic below.

Ford Motor Company (Infographic)

Entrepreneur.com | July 30, 2016 | Grace Reader 

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#Leadership : 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before you Start Dating a Coworker… Since about One-Third of Human Life is Spent Working, it’s Not Unreasonable that Romances Occur in the Office

We’ve all seen, experienced, or thought about office romances. Some say they’re a terrible idea (people might gossip, or things can get awkward at work if the relationship goes sour) — while others believe they make perfect sense (you’re with these people eight hours a day, and you know you have at least one thing in common). But what’s the real deal with interoffice dating?

Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job,” says she hears this question all the time, and shared her thoughts on the topic with Business Insider.

“Modern thinking is that you spend so much time in the office and online that those are the most likely places you will meet Mr. or Ms. Right,” says Taylor. “Occasionally you’ll hear: the gym, supermarket, or Starbucks, because those may be the only other places you even have time to escape to outside the busy office these days.”

But since about one-third of human life is spent working, it’s not unreasonable that romances occur in the office, she adds. “And this is time spent with people we know — theoretically they’re not ax murderers.”

survey from CareerBuilder revealed that nearly 40% of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker, and almost one-third of office relationships result in marriage.

“Considering that there are some eight billion people on the planet, some question why anyone would choose an office mate for romance, with all the potential gossip, possibility of a job nightmare if things go south, terminations, and maybe even a lawsuit as icing on the cake,” Taylor explains.

But the fact of the matter is: Nobody knows when true love will strike. “It could happen in the break room just as easily as it could at your cousin’s wedding or at the tire store,” Taylor says. “Why put arbitrary parameters on something so important? Certainly there are endless cases of coworkers who have found love in the workplace and moved on to marry and live happily ever after.”

Ultimately, she says, the success of this path will depend on you, your partner, boss, workplace, and many other variables. And it’s up to you to decide whether the pros outweigh the cons — or if you’re better off steering clear of an office romance.

Before you flip the switch, here’s what you need to ask yourself:

1. Is this person in a direct supervisory or subordinate position?

If they are, stay away.

“Problems can result from dating a person in a subordinate or superior position,” says Taylor.

If your boss (who happens to be your partner) takes you to lunch or promotes you, people will claim it’s based on favoritism — not merit. (And it’s also a problem if you deserve to be promoted but your significant other doesn’t offer you the position because they fear people will think it’s an act of favoritism.)

“Also, remember this: If things go sour in your relationship with a subordinate, there may a claim of sexual harassment or hostile work environment,” she explains.

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2. What is the company’s policy on this? 

“The variation on corporate practices is so broad that you have employers with lenient policies, strict policies, and no policies, even at Fortune 500-sized companies,” Taylor says.

Some firms make a conscious choice not to incorporate them into their general “sexual harassment” policy. “Policy or no policy, lovehappens. So in the absence of written rules and/or in the interpretation of them, there’s one common barometer: your common sense. That must always prevail.” 

 

3. How closely do I work with this person?

Keeping your distance in another department, floor, or building will help keep things less awkward, messy, and challenging. “And if you are ever in a competitive situation, it takes that element out of the fray, too,” she adds.

 

4. Can I envision this relationship working?

Nobody can predict the viability of a relationship, but you should take time to envision it.

“Is it completely unrealistic? Do you have a lot in common? It could happen that spending time in a romantic relationship that began at work will bring you closer together because you share a common interest and can be a sounding board for each other. Only you can weigh whether you see more overall upside potential than downside,” Taylor says.

 

5. Have I considered the consequences?

Could this be a career-limiting move? Would I hate working here if things didn’t work out? Will I ruin relationships with friends in the office?

It’s hard to think about the relationship ending or how it might hurt your career when you’re newly in love and distracted by butterflies. But, it’s important that you carefully think about the pros and cons; the ramifications on your job and reputation, Taylor says.

“If things fall apart, to what extent could your career potentially be jeopardized? How much of your personal life could be the ‘keynote topic’ at the water cooler? Could your real thoughts about the new CEO get back to her just in time for your next review? Imagine that that one of you decides to move on — what would it be like to see that person every day?”

If these potential consequences make you feel uneasy or worried about your professional future, you probably shouldn’t pursue the relationship.

 

 6. Am I prepared to disclose the details of my relationship to my employer?

Some employee handbooks require you to describe the nature of your relationship in writing. Specifically, you could be asked whether there’s a conflict of interest with an employee (even independent contractors, clients, and vendors), Taylor explains.

“The employer’s goal is full transparency, your consent, and protection for employees and others from future allegations,” she says. “You may be warned verbally, or in a handbook or both, that anything interfering with work getting done can result in termination. So this is the fun part.”

 

7. Can we be discreet?

Only you and your partner know how you’ll handle this romantic adventure, e.g., if you’ll be bubbling over with excitement to the point where it could damage your concentration, distract others, or generally get in the way of your advancement.

“Every situation is different, but what matters is how both of you plan to navigate the tricky waters, and how your respective managers and fellow employees react,” Taylor says.

8. What would happen if they get promoted?

Now the rules change. You could suddenly be dating your supervisor, or just someone in management who has a direct or indirect say in decisions that affect your job, she explains. “Just assume you’ve inherited another layer of risk, with a boss/employee relationship being the worst outcome of all.”

 

Businessinsider.com | May 29, 2016 | 

 

 

Your #Career : How Do You Survive Office Competition?…Hypercompetitors Spark Strong Reactions in Colleagues, from Fighting Back to Shutting Down; Warriors vs. Worriers

Every office has at least one—the hypercompetitive employee who’s out to win at all costs. These adversarial types go beyond striving for success. They turn every endeavor into a competition, whether it is intended to be or not, psychologists say. And they spark strong reactions in colleagues, from fighting back to just shutting down.

Free- Man at Desktop

 

Competition is often healthy and encouraged at work, of course. People who compete in a healthy way see it as a route to developing their skills, reaching shared goals, staying motivated and thriving on the job.

Research on hypercompetitors sets them apart. Intense rivalry is linked with a win-at-any-cost mind-set and a tendency to ignore the perspectives and decisions of others, according to a 2010 study at Harvard University. Other research shows highly competitive people focus on attaining status over getting work done, and readily put their own interests above others’.

HEALTHY OR HYPER?

How competitive are you? To find out, answer ‘true’ or ‘false’ to the following questions.

  • 1. Winning in competition makes me feel more powerful as a person.
  • 2. I do not see my opponents in competition as my enemies.
  • 3. I like competition because it teaches me a lot about myself.
  • 4. I can’t stand to lose an argument.
  • 5. Competition can lead to forming new friendships with others.
  • 6. Failure or loss in competition makes me feel less worthy as a person.
  • 7. It doesn’t bother me to be passed by someone while I am driving on the roads.
  • 8. Competition does not help me develop my abilities.
  • 9. Success in athletic competition does not make me feel superior to others.
  • 10. If I can disturb my opponent in some way to get the edge, I will do so.

Scoring: Answering ‘true’ to questions 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9 and 10 reveals a tendency toward hypercompetitiveness. Those who answer ‘true’ only to 3, 5 and 8 tend to have a healthy attitude toward competition.

Source: Richard Ryckman et al., Journal of Personality Assessment.

 

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Hypercompetitive people tend to ignore their impact on others, so getting them to change often requires pointing out that they’re hurting themselves.

How we react to competition varies widely. People may be conditioned by childhood experiences to see a hypercompetitive colleague as a challenge—and to respond by trying harder—or as a threat, triggering a retreat into fear and anxiety.

It is rooted partly in genetics: Scientists have identified a “warrior” variant of a gene linked to performance under pressure, which confers an advantage in threatening situations, and a “worrier” variant linked to poor performance, according to a 2015 study by researchers at Eötvös Loránd University of Budapest.

These tendencies shape early decision-making. College students who are competitive by nature tend to aim toward competitive jobs, such as coaching, according to a 2015 study led by John M. Houston, a psychology professor at Rollins College, Winter Park, Fla. Those who are less competitive train for more collaborative jobs, such as school counseling.

People who become anxious and shy away from hypercompetitors in the workplace often hurt their own performance, says Shelley Reciniello, a New York psychologist and author of “The Conscious Leader.” After a rival confronted one executive with a harsh critique of her speaking skills, “she lost her footing. It started to get to her,” and the executive began stumbling during presentations, Dr. Reciniello says.

Such confrontations can stir a visceral response so powerful that it blindsides people, she says. “They know they feel angry, they feel sick, they feel sad. They find themselves having revenge fantasies,” Dr. Reciniello says.

Equally at risk on the job are those who prefer to sit out any competition. “Some people don’t even want to compete,” says Steve Sims, chief product officer for Badgeville, a Redwood City, Calif., maker of gamelike motivational tools for the workplace. If you show such a person a leaderboard of the top 10 performers in the office, “that person will drop out.”

Patti Johnson first noticed a colleague’s hypercompetitive behavior when she was vying with the woman for a promotion years ago. She withheld information Ms. Johnson needed to do her job, and took credit with the boss for work they had done together, says Ms. Johnson, chief executive officer of PeopleResults, a Dallas human-resources and change-management consulting firm.

“I realized it was part of my job, to manage her,” Ms. Johnson says. She insisted the boss include her in meetings on joint projects and kept her boss well-informed about her contributions, she says. “I made it more and more difficult for her to throw tacks on the road.”

At times, the presence of super-competitive people can spur others to achieve more. Jay Bower says feeling overmatched early in his career by warrior types with Ivy League M.B.A.s drove him to study nights for 4½ years to get his M.B.A. too. Knowing he lacked skills his co-workers had “was kind of a searing experience for me,” says Mr. Bower, president of Crossbow Group, a Westport, Conn., marketing-services firm.

Deciding whether to confront an ultracompetitive colleague can be tricky. “It depends on the situation. You have to look at what you stand to lose,” says Susan Packard, author of “New Rules of the Game,” a book about how women can compete in the workplace. A little political maneuvering by a rival might not hurt much. But if a hypercompetitor starts interfering with your career goals, or with the funding or resources you need to do your job, you have to act, she says.

The first step is to be aware of your own reactions. Then, practice confronting co-workers, if necessary, to insist that they stop undercutting teammates or shared goals.

Gather specific examples of the hypercompetitor’s bad behavior and the reactions it caused. A hypercompetitor won’t understand what you’re asking unless you explain the behaviors that need to end, saysJessica Bigazzi Foster, a senior partner with RHR International, a Chicago leadership and business-psychology consulting firm. Prepare to explain how the behavior is hurting the business or the team.

​Consider practicing what you plan to say with a friend, to help control your emotions, and write a script if necessary to keep the conversation on track, Dr. Reciniello says. Super-competitive people “will do everything to get you off point.”

Start on a positive note, says Elaine Varelas, managing partner of Keystone Partners, such as, “You’re very successful and I appreciate that. What I find very difficult in working with you is that you don’t share information.” Then give examples and describe the behavior you’d like in the future, she says.

Employees who are stuck with a hypercompetitive colleague may not get much help from the boss, at least at first. The dark side of a hypercompetitor often goes unnoticed because the boss “is seeing this aggressive, results-oriented person,” says Ralph Roberto, president of Keystone Partners, a Boston career-management consultant.

It can be tough for a boss to crack down on a hypercompetitive employee. Bill Fish sees competition as a motivator. When an aggressive sales agent at his company, ReputationManagement.com, accumulated an oversized roster of clients, he initially hesitated to take clients away from him, thinking the competition was fueling sales, says Mr. Fish, president of the Cincinnati provider of reputation-management services. “He wasn’t thinking about anybody else. At first, I really didn’t see it as a bad thing,” he says. After customers began to complain that the agent wasn’t responding quickly to their requests, however, he realized that the agent’s uber-competitiveness was hurting the business and made him share the load.

Hypercompetitive people tend to ignore their impact on others, so getting them to change often requires pointing out that they’re hurting themselves. David Hoffeld once managed a top-performing salesman who needled co-workers, saying, “Maybe you should work harder, because I’ve noticed I’m always higher than you on the leaderboard,” says Mr. Hoffeld, chief executive officer of a Minneapolis sales-training firm. “It didn’t spur his co-workers to work harder. It just made them angry.”

Mr. Hoffeld took the salesman aside and pointed out that he was alienating his co-workers, making them less willing to help him out on big projects in the future. The salesman changed his behavior.

Write to Sue Shellenbarger at sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com

 

WSJ.com | April 20, 2016 |  Sue Shellenbarger

#Strategy : 10 Office Gadgets to Boost Your #Productivity…Get busy! Staying #Productive in the Office is Partly a Matter of Using the Right Equipment.

This gear frees you up for a smoother day and removes the barriers to success.

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Your #Career : 6 Ways To Win At Office Politics…The Key to Winning at Office Politics is to Stop Wishing it Will Go Away & to Start Learning How to Thrive in your Workplace’s Political Environment.

Deciding to Stay Out of Office Politics Altogether Isn’t an Effective Strategy. As long as it’s going on around you, you’re going to be affected by it. It’s a lot better to be a competent, conscious player than to be a bystander or a pawn in the game.

 

Here we are, more than 14 months away from the next U.S. presidential election, and the way the media is carrying on about the candidates, you’d think it was right around the corner. Heck, even the primaries can’t run for another four months.

With the endless cycle of media coverage, the frequent candidate faux pas, and all those awkward moments when friends and family force their political opinions upon us, it’s no wonder politics gets a bad rap.

The other kind of politics—Office Politics—are just as fraught with difficulty. Almost nobody likes dealing with office politics, and it’s the people who do enjoy it that you have to worry about.And just like regular politics, office politics is an unavoidable element of human behavior—bring people together and the jockeying begins.

A lot of the advice about how to handle office politics boils down to “Just Don’t Play,” as if avoiding the political system in your office will protect you and your career.

It Won’t.

Saying you’re not affected by office politics is like saying you’re not affected by politics at large. It makes a difference, even if you close your eyes and hope it goes away.

The key to winning at office politics is to stop wishing it will go away and to start learning how to thrive in your workplace’s political environment. You don’t have to dive right into the seedy underbelly of office politics to win the game; you win by playing smart and knowing when and how it’s worth getting involved. Here’s six ways to make that happen.

1. Learn the lay of the land.

Whether you just started a new job or just realized that avoiding office politics is detrimental to your career, you have to begin by figuring out exactly what’s going on. Your office is full of allies and rivals, and, if you watch and listen closely, you can get a pretty good sense of who’s aligned with whom:

  • Who has lunch together?
  • Who gets invited to important meetings, and who doesn’t?
  • Who always seems to be the first to know about coming changes, and who always seems to be last to know?
  • What are the cultural hot buttons that get tempers boiling?

The answers to these questions define your political landscape. This doesn’t mean that you should choose a side—that would be counterproductive—but it’s smart to understand the rules and the players and their strategies before you jump into the fray. Otherwise, you could find yourself unintentionally caught up in a long, simmering rivalry.

 

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2. Build broad alliances.

One of the smartest things you can do is to build alliances throughout the company so that you’ll have a foot in as many of the political camps as possible. If you accomplish this and show people across the board that they can rely on you, you’ll stand a good chance of coming out ahead, no matter which political camp is currently “winning.” You also won’t be left out of the cold if a group of allies leaves the company.

3. Keep your eyes on the goal.

Remind yourself, as many times as it takes, that you’re not engaging in office politics for fun or to be one of “them;” you’re doing it for two reasons: career success and job fulfillment. When you get caught up emotionally, you run the risk of making decisions you’ll regret down the road. Gossiping, backstabbing, manipulating, and the rest are not needed to win at office politics. Keeping your eyes on the goal lets you develop and maintain a strategic approach for dealing with your workplace’s unique political atmosphere.

4. Make things win-win.

Part of what gives office politics such a bad reputation is the perception that there’s always a winner and a loser and that you only win if your opponent limps off the battlefield, bloody and bruised. But, done correctly, this isn’t a zero-sum game. Navigating office politics works best when you follow the golden rule of negotiating: end with everybody feeling like they won. Instead of trying to defeat an opponent, spend that time and energy thinking about how you can both get what you want. This is how you play the game smart.

5. Never pit rivals against one another.

One situation that everybody dreads is getting caught between two warring parties. In a situation like that, it’s easy to tell each of them what they want to hear, even if that’s just nodding in agreement when they bad-mouth each other. But fake allegiances are always exposed in the long run, and then, neither of the people you were trying to impress will trust you again. Instead, steer your conversations back to the facts: What decisions need to be made? What are the next steps? What can I do to help improve this situation?

 6. Stick to your principles, without fail.

Before taking any action that’s fueled by office politics, ask yourself why you’re doing it. If you’re motivated by fear, revenge, or jealousy, don’t do it. If it conflicts with your values and beliefs about fair behavior, it’s better not to get involved.

Bringing It All Together

Deciding to stay out of office politics altogether isn’t an effective strategy. As long as it’s going on around you, you’re going to be affected by it. It’s a lot better to be a competent, conscious player than to be a bystander or a pawn in the game.

The key is to understand the players and the rules and then to play the game in a way that aligns with your personal values and principles. Don’t be fooled into compromising “just this once,” because once is all it takes to lose control.

What are your experiences in dealing with office politics? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

 

Forbes.com | September 15, 2015 | Travis Bradberry

 

 

#Strategy : How To Deal With A Workplace Bully: Advice For Victims, Bosses, & Co-Workers…Bullies are Often Reluctant to Change their Behavior Because it Works for Them.

While Most People Think of Bullies as Kids, Bullying Doesn’t End with High School. Childhood bullies often grow up to become office bullies. In fact, the Workplace Bullying Institute, estimates that up to one-third of employees may be victims of workplace bullying.

 

What Workplace Bullies Do

Workplace bullies behave similarly to teen bullies. In addition to intimidating their victims, they may spread rumors to tarnish a co-worker’s reputation, or fail to invite an employee to a key team meeting. They may also make fun of their co-workers or tell inappropriate jokes at a victim’s expense.

Bullying isn’t just detrimental to victims, it damages the entire work environment. Workplace bullies impact every level of business, from productivity and profitability to creativity and office morale.

 

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How to Deal with Workplace Bullies

To gain more insight into how to best deal with workplace bullies, I spoke with Sherri Gordon, About.com’s Bullying Expert and the author of 10 books,  including Are You Being Abused? Gordon offered her expertise for dealing with an office bully.

 Amy Morin: What should someone who has been bullied at work do?

Sherri Gordon: Being bullied has serious consequences, especially if it is long-term. So do what you can to protect your mental and physical health. One way to do that is recognize what you can control and what you cannot control. In other words, you cannot control what a bully says or does, but you can control your response.

It is also a good idea to set boundaries with a bully. Be direct about what you do not like about his behavior and let him know that if he continues you will report him. Try not to get emotional when you are talking to a bully because he will likely use this against you.

If the bullying continues and is not a one-time incident of mean behavior, report it to your supervisor. And if the bully is your supervisor, go to his supervisor.

Be sure that you have documentation of the incident, including dates, times and witnesses. Be sure your presentation is as professional as possible. Stick to the facts and ask for a resolution to the issue.

Morin: What should someone do if a co-worker is being bullied?

Gordon: If another employee is bullied, offer to be a friend. Invite your co-worker to have lunch or coffee and just listen. Encourage the employee to report the bullying as well. While you could report the bullying, it is better when victims advocate for themselves.

Avoid listening to gossip or rumors and stand up for the victim when you can. For instance, simply saying something like, “She has always been nice to me,” or “I have always thought she was very professional,” are simple ways to show support for the victim and to stop the bully from spreading rumors. You can also walk away and refuse to engage in trashing another employee’s reputation.

Morin: How should a leader or supervisor respond to bullying?

Gordon: Workplace bullies tend to target the co-workers who are the best and brightest employees because they want to drive out anyone they see as a threat to their own personal career advancement. Bullies attack the very people you want working for your company.

Foster a team atmosphere and encourage people to work together and support one another. Also, be sure to squash any attempts employees make to gossip, spread rumors or to talk poorly about other co-workers.

For instance, if an employee says “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but…” stop him or her right there and say, “Yep, you probably shouldn’t tell me.”

If, despite your best efforts, you still have an employee that bullies another employee, address it right away. If you have a human resources department, be sure to bring it to their attention. Be sure to follow your company’s guidelines for addressing workplace bullying and harassment.

If your company is small and does not have an HR department, talk with the employee about his or her actions. Document the incident in the employee’s file. Include details about the incident, information about your meeting, as well as dates, times and witnesses so that you have this information should the employee bully the same person again or a different person. At the close of the meeting, be sure that the offending employee knows what could happen if he or she continues to bully others.

Do not pull the victim of the bullying into the meeting with you. Remember, a victim of bullying often feels intimidated by the aggressor, so your attempts to get the full story or to mediate the situation will not be productive. You need to speak with them both separately.

Once you have addressed the issue, follow up on the situation to see if any additional bullying has occurred. You may need to monitor this situation for several months or a year. Bullies are often reluctant to change their behavior because it works for them.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker, and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, a bestselling book that is being translated into more than 20 languages. 

 

Forbes.com | August 21, 2015 | Amy Morin

 

 

Your #Career : How To Have A Successful Office Romance…Pause before you plunge. “Stop & Think about Yourself in Relation to the Other Person,”

39% of Workers say They’ve Dated a Colleague at Some Point in their Careers. Nearly a Third say they Married the Person they Dated at Work. Studies show that  found that 64% of workers who have office relationships are public with them, compared with 46% nine years ago.

 

Chances are you’ve gotten it on with a colleague. According to a 2015 survey by the job search website CareerBuilder.com, 39% of workers say they’ve dated a colleague at some point in their careers. Nearly a third say they married the person they dated at work. Another career website, Vault.com, found that more than half, 51%, of respondents had dated a colleague at least once during their career.

The office seems to be a hotbed of romance–and a more effective one than dating websites or the corner bar. Helaine Olen, coauthor with Stephanie Losee of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding–and Managing–Romance on the Job, says the workplace is where most people find love these days. “The office has turned into the village of the 21st century,” she says. “Where else do you spend 12 hours a day?”

And fewer workers are keeping their romances secret. CareerBuilder found that 64% of workers who have office relationships are public with them, compared with 46% nine years ago. The survey of 3,100 workers was conducted for CareerBuilder by Harris Interactive last November.

 

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While people are more relaxed about office dating than they were in the post-Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas 1990s, workplace romance is still fraught with peril. Worst-case scenario, says employment attorney Kathleen McKenna of New York’s Proskauer law firm: A boss-underling affair that goes south and results in a sexual harassment suit. Such suits are based on either a claim of a hostile work environment or a charge that there was f-me-or-you’re-fired quid pro quo harassment.

Which brings us to our first rule of office dating: Avoid a supervisor-supervisee relationship. Especially for the person in the supervisor’s seat, such a relationship is “criminally stupid,” says McKenna. “You might as well put a sign on your forehead that says, ‘Kick me here.’” McKenna acts mainly as a defense lawyer.

Edward Hernstadt, a plaintiff-side employment lawyer in New York, agrees. An employee can make a claim that she (it’s usually a she) wouldn’t have dated the boss if she hadn’t felt compelled. “The supervisor will say, ‘I just asked you to go on a date,’” says Hernstadt. “But the subordinate will say, ‘I felt I couldn’t say no.’”

If a supervisor and a subordinate just can’t resist each other, McKenna recommends that they sign what she calls a “cupid contract.” They should spell out in writing the fact that both are engaging in a consensual relationship. If the company has a sexual harassment policy, they should make it clear they understand the rules.

Helaine Olen agrees. “Set some ground rules you can use if the relationship flames out,” she advises. “It’s like a prenup for an office romance.”

“If you’re in heavy lust, you’ve got to slow down.” Kathleen McKenna agrees. “Think about the fact that 50% of marriages don’t make it,” she says. “The batting average for other relationships is much worse.”

One more piece of advice: Consider how you would feel if you lost your job. Everyone who has experienced heartbreak knows that proximity to an ex can be unbearable. All too often, say experts, failed office romances result in one person leaving the job.

“The possible consequences here are not just the loss of the person you’re gaga over,” says Schwartz. “It could mean the loss of your livelihood.”

Olen also suggests that the senior partner in the relationship step up and report the romance to the human resources department. In so doing the supervisor should volunteer to take the hit if the company decides the pair should no longer work together.

It’s far preferable to date someone outside your department. Connie Thanasoulis-Cerrachio, a career coach who has worked with companies including Merrill LynchPfizer and Citigroup C -6.18%, recommends looking for love at office philanthropic activities and social events like softball games rather than in the neighboring cubicle.

Another piece of perhaps obvious but valuable advice: Pause before you plunge. “Stop and think about yourself in relation to the other person,” advises Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the author of 16 books on dating and romance.

 

 Forbes.com | August 24, 2015 | Susan Adams