Posts

#Leadership : #BossRelationship – Exactly What to Say in These 7 Difficult Conversations with your Boss. A Must REad!

Nearly one-third of professionals admit they’d rather work an extra six hours a week than seek help in the workplace, according to a recent report from LinkedIn. This stands in sharp contrast to the number of professionals who said they’ve needed help at some point in their career.

An overwhelming majority (84%) of respondents confessed this, and among their chief concerns were dealing with stress, challenges with colleagues or managers, starting new projects, and making mistakes.

Of course, it’s easier to confide in a compassionate colleague, but be warned: If you avoid talking to your supervisor, you could be making things even worse.

If the thought of approaching your boss to ask for a raise, try your hand at a new project, or simply sharing some challenging feedback has you shaking in your shoes, take heart. We’ve asked a number of leaders to offer advice on what to say and how to say it. You’re welcome.

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 1: “YOUR MANAGEMENT STYLE ISN’T WORKING FOR ME.”

The first step for the discussion is to be aware of how you’re feeling as an employee. Second, you need to reframe the conversation to be around learning and growing. Upward feedback isn’t an opportunity to tell off your manager, it’s an opportunity to help them become a better leader. Hold their success as your intention, and then clearly and directly share what you are seeing and what isn’t working. If you are genuinely connecting with your manager and caring about their future and their success, the manager will receive your feedback.–David Hassell, cofounder and CEO, 15Five

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 2: “I’M EXPECTING A BABY.”

Sharing the news that you’re pregnant should be as exciting at the workplace as it is with friends and family. But for too many women it’s an unnecessarily stressful conversation with their boss, usually out of uncertainty about the futures of their careers. Nearly twice as many women are nervous to tell their boss they’re pregnant than five years ago, according to Bright Horizons’ fifth annual Modern Family Index.

Before speaking with your boss, take some time to check in with yourself. Know the value you bring to your team and the company, and have an action plan in place for your maternity leave and return to the company. Most importantly, go into the conversation confident and with a positive attitude. This is a great opportunity for you to learn more about the benefits your company provides for expecting and new parents, and for preparing for a new phase in what it means to be able to bring your whole self to work.--Maribeth Bearfield, chief human resources officer, Bright Horizons

Like this Article ?  Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 2.5 Million Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/fscnetwork

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/First-Sun-Consulting-LLC-Outplacement-Services/213542315355343?sk=wall

Google+:  https://plus.google.com/115673713231115398101/posts?hl=en

Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

Question: Want the ‘the best/current articles/blogs on the web’ on Job Search, Resume, Advancing/Changing your Career, or simply Managing People?

Answer: Simply go to our FSC Career Blog below & type(#career, #leadership, #life)in Blog Search:  https://www.firstsun.com/fsc-career-blog/

What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 3: “I’VE MADE A MISTAKE.”

It’s important to address it honestly and take ownership. One of the most frustrating things as a manager is when someone immediately starts blaming everyone else instead of taking responsibility. Be solutions-oriented, sharing what happened and how you plan to fix it. I would also suggest sharing what you learned from the experience and what you’ll do to ensure it won’t happen again. This is a great opportunity to showcase your growth mind-set. Every single person makes mistakes. But you have the opportunity to show what kind of person and employee you are in how you address, fix, and learn from them.--Sarah Alpern, vice president of user experience, LinkedIn

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 4: “I WANT A RAISE. (BUT DEEP DOWN I DON’T FEEL LIKE I DESERVE IT.)”

Asking your boss or supervisor for a raise when you deal with imposter syndrome can feel scary–especially as you may feel alone in the doubt, fear, and questions you have about your abilities, skills, and contributions to the workplace. As a female leader, I often struggle with imposter syndrome and frequently doubt the accomplishments that I set out to achieve.

One tip to overcome this is to constantly write down your contributions and where you provide the most value in the workplace–ranging from small, tactical wins to big successes. Then, when you’re looking to ask for a raise, come to the meeting prepared with a set agenda and speak to the accomplishments or goals you’ve completed throughout your time as an employee. Showing the value you provide to your team and workplace when speaking to your manager will not only minimize the doubts that come along with imposter syndrome, but it will also emphasize your capability and worthiness of a raise or promotion.

Another great option is to look for those outside of your workplace who can cheer you on and provide words of encouragements before asking for a raise. For me, having my daughter as my biggest cheerleader and seeing in her eyes how proud she is of me gives me the energy and passion to keep going. Find those sources of energy for you and keep them in mind when you show up to work each day. When you come to work with positive energy and feel motivated, talking about uncomfortable topics with managers will become less challenging.--Andee Harris, president, YouEarnedIt/HighGround

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 5: “I GOT ANOTHER, BETTER JOB OFFER.”

If you want to keep your job, approach your boss with a shared problem–you’d like to stay, but the market price for people like you has gone up. And while you love your current work and responsibilities, you’d also like to care of your family/yourself. So ask if your current boss can take this compensation issue off the table by matching the competitive offer so that you can do the right thing. Warning: You only get to do this every two years or so until you’re considered a mercenary, so make sure it is worth bringing up with her or him.

If you want to leave, be pleasant, polite, and persistent. Say something like: ‘I’ve decided that what’s best for me for my career is that I’m going to be taking a new role at Acme. I thank you very much for your time and the experience here.’ Two weeks’ notice is still the bare minimum to be considered not burning your bridges. Offer to assist with the transition, and be firm that you’re not considering staying at this time.–Marc Cenedella, CEO of Ladders

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 6: “I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW PRODUCT BUT DON’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DEVELOP IT INDEPENDENTLY.”

You should always come from the perspective of driving value for your customers. Pitch the product or solution from the perspective of how this solution helps customers or users be more effective and efficient. From there, focus on clearly defined ownership, the best ways to collaborate, and overall resourcing. Bosses love to see plans that are well thought through and will be happy to support you as a result.–Maria Zhang, VP of engineering, LinkedIn

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 7: “I NEED HELP ASSESSING MY SKILLS SO I CAN DEVELOP AS A LEADER.”

While the role of your manager is to develop you and unlock your potential, it is also important for you to be thoughtful and proactive in your approach to your own career development. This starts with being self-aware and knowing what is expected of you in your role and how your success will be measured. When you meet with your manager, along with setting and checking on core goals for your role, share your perspective on where you want to grow, and how you’d like to accomplish that. Ask for your manager’s feedback and partnership to define ways to stretch yourself professionally. Don’t forget to then track your results and report on your progress. In addition, don’t count out your peers! If your colleague is a stellar salesperson, ask if you can shadow them. It helps to learn from the best.--Ty Heath, global lead, Market Development LMS

Regardless of the issue, know that you’re not alone. “Approaching difficult conversations with your manager is never easy, no matter what your relationship is like with your boss,” says Alexandra Clarke, director of recruiting for ForceBrands. Overall, she says, to ensure the direction of the conversation is healthy and productive, regardless of how tricky the topic, make sure you have a plan, purpose, and agendabefore you have the conversation.

Ask for feedback and advice where necessary, Clarke maintains, and always listen. Most importantly, she adds, be professional. “Be receptive and open to the idea that even if the meeting doesn’t go as planned, you were able to engage in a difficult conversation that won’t compromise or undermine your role,” Clarke explains, “and before leaving the discussion, suggest scheduling a follow-up meeting to regroup on the topic in a few days.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lydia Dishman is a reporter writing about the intersection of tech, leadership, and innovation. She is a regular contributor to Fast Company and has written for CBS Moneywatch, Fortune, The Guardian, Popular Science, and the New York Times, among others.

 More

 

FastCompany.com | January 30, 2019

#CareerAdvice : #WorkLife – How to Set Boundaries with your Boss.

Unfortunately, not everyone who steps into a managerial role possesses the skills and insights needed to lead an effective team. Rather, many bosses end up in their role as a result of their technical skill and expertise in a certain domain.

 

When individual contributors step into leadership roles without the required foundational skills, members of their team can often find themselves dealing with an ill-equipped manager. If you find yourself dealing with a problematic manager, consider creating boundaries in the following ways:

When they micromanage…

Dealing with a micromanager is never a good feeling, especially for those seeking autonomy in their work. If you’re dealing with a manager who refuses to loosen their grip, create boundaries between by reducing the opportunities for them to intervene.

If you have a project you’re working on, rather than asking them how and when to execute a task, do the work, and update them on it later. If you know that they tend to overpower you in meetings, consider setting the meeting yourself, and always come prepared with an agenda that will allow you to lead the conversation. Consider only providing updates to them when absolutely needed. It is also important to let your boss know exactly how you enjoy being managed, as they may be totally unaware of your own working style.

Like this Article ?  Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 2.5 Million Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/fscnetwork

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/First-Sun-Consulting-LLC-Outplacement-Services/213542315355343?sk=wall

Google+:  https://plus.google.com/115673713231115398101/posts?hl=en

Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

Question: Want the ‘the best/current articles/blogs on the web’ on Job Search, Resume, Advancing/Changing your Career, or simply Managing People?

Answer: Simply go to our FSC Career Blog below & type(#career, #leadership, #life) in Blog Search:  https://www.firstsun.com/fsc-career-blog/

What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

When they don’t respect working hours…

Unfortunately there are many industries that don’t allow you to ever “turn off”. With the ease of technology, we are expected to fire off emails at all hours of the day. However, if you’re not in the business of billing your hours, then it is up to you to create firm boundaries between what you are willing to accept when it comes to your time commitments outside of working hours.

If a boss constantly calls you outside of your working hours, simply don’t respond. You’re not obliged to answer their calls, nor are you obliged to answer their emails. While this may seem scary, you will set the tone for how your boss treats you. If you have a client that’s calling you late at night, simply follow up with a text or email letting them know when it’s appropriate to call.

If you find yourself in a situation where your working hours are constantly being abused, it is up to you to set your own boundaries and say no.

When they are unreasonable with their asks…

Your manager might assign you something larger than you can chew as an act of good faith in your abilities, or even as a stretch assignment. Self-awareness, in this case, is important as you don’t want to turn down work that could help you grow, but also don’t want to set yourself up for failure. If you’re constantly being asked to do work that is out of scope, let your manager know you’re feeling ill-prepared, and would appreciate some help or further training.

When they are unprofessional…

Some people prefer to have a close personal relationship with their teams, which is perfectly okay! However, if you prefer to keep the relationship professional and your boss insists on getting personal, you may have to create some boundaries between you both. Do your best not to share personal information while at work. Steer clear of conversations about friends, family, and relationships. Don’t socialize more than you need and simply keep your focus on task-related conversations!

When they are rude or abrasive…

Unfortunately you may find yourself in a situation where your manager is just not nice. Don’t try and be rude back, rather keep your distance, and detach from the relationship as much as possible. Keep your conversations short and minimal and focus on the work. Remind yourself that you won’t have this boss forever, and if need be, explore the potential of switching teams completely if things get bad.

Knowing what is most important to you at work, and being clear on your own personal values is the first step in developing boundaries with you and your boss. Be honest, and specific with the people around you about how you’re feeling, and what your expectations look like (Tartakovsky, M).

As you work with different characters and personality styles across your career, you’ll face the reality that you just won’t click with every boss. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll work with some people who make you cringe, and you’ll have to complete work that is 100% below you. However, when boundaries are crossed, it’s up to you to set the tone between you, your leaders, and your team!

About the Author: Stacy Pollack is a Learning Specialist with an MA in Educational Technology. She is passionate about building leadership programs that engage and contribute to the success of her organization. She loves to share her perspective on workplace development, career building, and networking for success. Connect with her onLinkedInTwitter, or at www.stacypollack.com.

 

GlassDoor.com | January 2, 2019

 

#Leadership : #InterviewingQuestions – 4 Questions that Employers Should Ask every Job Candidate

When it comes to recruitment, good hiring managers look beyond credentials and the idea of finding someone they’d want to “grab a couple of beers with.” That kind of approach is rife with unconscious bias and isn’t always an accurate prediction of how good they’ll be as an employee.

Good interviews examine candidates holistically. Among other things, this means asking questions that gauge their level of emotional intelligence, how they go about problem solving, and their motivation and driving force at work.

We like to ask the following questions when we’re interviewing applicants. They tell us a lot about the individual, in just a few words.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR US?”

If you’ve been in a job interview, you’re probably familiar with this question. Hiring managers tend to ask this question at the end.

However, we like to ask this question both at the beginning and at the end. When we ask this at the beginning, we want to know whether you’ve spent time researching our firm and your prospective role. A question like, “What benefits do you see in your day-to-day to your firm being 100% employee-owned?” for example, demonstrates your willingness to really understand us.

When we ask this question at the end of our conversation, we want to find out how you perceive the company as you learn more about us and the role. It’s helpful for us to understand what type of hesitation you might have about the company, and address it early on.

The questions you ask can also demonstrate your experience in the field. The more open-ended and higher-level they are, the more we’ll be able to see your operating style. Are you a quarterback, a wide receiver, or a cheerleader? Are you interested in our autonomous teams and how they operate, or are you more curious about the specific type of software you’d use in a project?

Remember, there are no stupid questions. The only way you can screw this up is by not having any questions at all.

“SAY WE HIRE YOU, BUT SIX MONTHS DOWN THE LINE YOU DECIDE TO RESIGN. WHAT HAS HAPPENED?”

This one’s harsh, we know. But is there any better way to gauge your hesitations about our firm and address them right then and there? This question says a lot about how accommodating the employer will be. We use it as a way to flag any possible long-term problems, and we want to identify how we might overcome those roadblocks together. In addition, this question can also help us train and onboard you in an effective way.

Like this Article ?  Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 2.5 Million Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/fscnetwork

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/First-Sun-Consulting-LLC-Outplacement-Services/213542315355343?sk=wall

Google+:  https://plus.google.com/115673713231115398101/posts?hl=en

Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

Question: Want the ‘the best/current articles/blogs on the web’ on Job Search, Resume, Advancing/Changing your Career, or simply Managing People?

Answer: Simply go to our FSC Career Blog below & type(#career, #leadership, #life) in Blog Search:  https://www.firstsun.com/fsc-career-blog/

What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

“WHAT WOULD YOUR DREAM PROJECT AT OUR COMPANY BE, AND WHAT WOULD YOU NEED TO MAKE IT HAPPEN?”

Yes, we’re interested in your passion, but we also want to know what you focus on at work. Can you get stuff on your own? Do you need guidance? Are you able to ask for help? Do you delegate non-important tasks, or get bogged down by the minutiae? Are you thinking big or small? Where do you see yourself in a hierarchy?

There are no right answers here: It all depends on the type of person we’re looking for. If we’re looking for a project manager, for example, we want someone who can think about the big picture, and delegate the appropriate work to the appropriate team member. If we’re looking for a customer service representative, we want someone who knows how to stay calm under pressure.

“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID YOU WERE SORRY?”

This question is my absolute favorite. We all make mistakes at work, but unconditionally, human employers understand that screwing up is part of life. What matters is how we bounce back from setbacks, and how we take others around us into consideration.

Whether it’s yelling at your fiancé the previous evening because they didn’t make a restaurant reservation, or pulling a teammate aside to apologize for an off-handed comment, how you deal with your mistakes is an indication of your willingness to reflect and grow. Just don’t tell us that you’ve never been sorry.

We’ve learned that in order for an interview to be effective, you need to have a two-sided conversation rather than an interrogation. These days, people no longer see work as a place to clock in and clock out–so it’s only in everyone’s best interests to ensure that what we offer as a company is consistent with the employee’s priorities and goals. At the end of the day, that’s the key to a productive and happy workplace.


Eetu Blomqvist is the North America CEO of Reaktor. Nikke Ruokolainen is Reaktor’s head of talent and human resources. 

 

FastCompany.com | December 18, 2018 | BY EETU BLOMQVIST AND NIKKE RUOKOLAINEN 3 MINUTE READ

 

#Leadership : 5 UnSpoken Rules of Being a #Manager that No One Tells You About…You’ll be on the Receiving End of More Information Than you Want. Use that Privilege Wisely.

After many hours of hard work, your employer made you a manager. For the first time in your life, you have several employees reporting to you. You’re excited to make your mark and take your career to the next level. And you should be–your company has recognized that you have leadership potential, and they’re giving you an opportunity to shine.

1) YOU’RE GOING TO BE IN THE SPOTLIGHT, SO USE IT WISELY

As a manager, you are either loved or hated, but never ignored. It can be an uncomfortable situation to be in, even if one of your goals is to be more visible to the company leaders and your team. When you are in the spotlight, people are watching you and forming opinions about you. That means they’re reading your words, actions, and gestures more closely than they were before.

To be clear, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You do not need to change your personality or be a work martyr (in fact, doing so can hurt your performance.) You should, however, acknowledge the impact of your new powers, and see it as an opportunity to define your work culture.

For example, one of the authors of this article, Terra, is a single career mom. On Fridays, she’ll often have to leave for midday elementary school events. When she says to her team, “I’m leaving for Jake’s Halloween party at school, and I’ll be back in two hours,” she is telling them that she values work-life balance and family, and giving them implicit permission to do the same. If she is not upfront about where she needs to be, her team might not realize that it’s acceptable for them to leave work from time to time for family obligations.

Related: How I built a more intelligent work culture than me 


Like this Article ?  Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 2.5 Million Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/fscnetwork

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/First-Sun-Consulting-LLC-Outplacement-Services/213542315355343?sk=wall

Google+:  https://plus.google.com/115673713231115398101/posts?hl=en

Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

Question: Want the ‘the best/current articles/blogs on the web’ on Job Search, Resume, Advancing/Changing your Career, or simply Managing People?

Answer: Simply go to our FSC Career Blog below & type(#career, #leadership, #life) in Blog Search:  https://www.firstsun.com/fsc-career-blog/

What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

2) YOU’LL HAVE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR COWORKERS THAN YOU WANT

You’ll also find that as you become the go-to source for complaints, you’ll hear things you never thought you would. You’ll listen to accounts of workplace dramas, or even allegations against one of your coworkers. You might also find that you’ll receive complaints about subject matters outside of the office. Employees will come to you about their personal troubles–from health issues to breakups.

As a manager, it’s not your job to solve all of your employees’ problems. There may be occasions when it’s appropriate for you to take charge of the situation, but other times you need to direct them elsewhere. The key is understanding which situation warrants what treatment. You might have to use trial and error to gain this insight, but just be aware that whatever actions you take can have a broad impact on the company.


Related: Stop trying to be friends with all your coworkers, and do this instead 


3) YOU’LL SPEND MORE TIME THAN YOU WANT ON LOW PERFORMERS

When you start managing people, you’ll distinguish your high performers from your low performers. If you’re not careful, you can spend far too much of your time on the latter. That’s why it’s important to identify whether their issues are a matter of capability, skills, or knowledge–and whether it’s something they can overcome. If you don’t think they can change (and you’ve given them plenty of opportunities to prove themselves), then you should think long and hard about whether you should keep them in your team. After all, the time that you’re spending on fixing that person’s mistake is the time you’re not spending developing (and empowering) your high performers.

However, if you believe that they can improve, think about incorporating “coachable moments” in your day-to-day interactions with them. These are on-the-job situations when you can offer feedback in real time. Mollie, for example, ensures that when she is explaining something to a new employee or a low performer, she can point to what a high performer in her team has done. This way, not only is she giving her star employees the recognition they deserve–she is steering her low performing employees towards becoming a high performer (rather than berating them for their mistakes.)


Related: This is the emotionally intelligent way to fire someone


4) YOU’LL BECOME THE DESIGNATED EXPLAINER

The job of the manager is to translate strategy into the day-to-day actions of their team. You’ll find yourself consistently reiterating the company’s strategy and goals, and explaining the connection between the two. At first, you think you’re fine with this arrangement; after all, you know the answers! Then one day it happens: no matter how often you’ve repeated the company’s new priorities–someone in your company still doesn’t get it and asks you to explain it for the millionth time.

Unfortunately, this is one job requirement you’ll just have to weather. And just as people will come to you bearing their personal problems, they’ll also ask questions that you might not know the answer to (for example, issues around HR and benefits.) As a manager, you should have enough knowledge of company policy to answer these questions at a high level, but if it’s something beyond your area of expertise–make sure that you direct their queries to someone who knows the answer.

5) YOU MIGHT FEEL ALONE FROM TIME TO TIME

Sometimes, being a manager means holding on to information that no one else can know, which can be isolating. Sometimes it means being at odds with other managers when it comes to resource allocation. And sometimes, you’ll face circumstances you never imagined you’d be in.

You might be tempted to share these information with your employees. That’s what you used to do, after all. But as managers, we know that at times, it’s in everyone’s best interest to keep specific information confidential. If you must talk about it to someone–try to find an external mentor that you trust. That way, you can maintain your composure at work without violating your obligations as a manager.

Being a manager involves a lot more than just taking on more responsibilities–in fact, it’s a whole new job in and of itself. By being aware of these five points, you can have a plan for tackling potential challenges before you face them. Just understand that there might be instances where you don’t get it right the first time, and that’s okay.


Terra Vicario is the chief marketing officer at Viventium–a cloud-based software and HR software solution. Mollie Lombardi is the co-founder of Aptitude Research Partners–an independent research-based analyst and advisory firm.  

 

FastCompany.com | August 8, 2018 | BY MOLLIE LOMBARDI AND TERRA VICARIO 5 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : 9 No-Fail Tips for Giving #ConstructiveCriticism at Work (Infographic) ….Learning How to Give Honest, Constructive Feedback to All Types of Colleagues will Help you Be a #BetterManager and Will Help your #Employees Develop.

Though criticism is an inevitable part of any workplace, most people find it difficult to give negative feedback to direct reports. Whether you are offering real-time observations or engaging in a formal review discussion, it can be stressful to critique the work of your colleagues.

Don’t let yourself be intimidated by difficult feedback conversations! Honest evaluations are essential to employee development, engagement, and retention. Most employees understand the value of constructive feedback for their company and for their own personal development. A Zenger/Folkman surveyfound that 93% of people agree that when negative feedback is delivered correctly it can be an effective way to improve performance.

Learning how to give honest, constructive feedback to all types of colleagues will help you be a better manager and will help your employees develop. By providing specific direction based on employees’ actions, you can provide criticism in a way that will help people develop, without making them feel attacked.

Check out this infographic for tips on how to criticize constructively:

 

Fundera.com | March 23, 2018 | Meredith Wood

Original Post: https://www.fundera.com/blog/how-to-criticize

#Leadership : How To Turn #Conflict Into A #Communication Tool…Many People Try to Avoid #Conflicts at #Work . But if you Know the Right Way to Lodge an Objection, It can Actually Smooth the Way for Better Communication.

Last year, I was working with leaders who had recently joined an Israeli company. One of them said to me, “Anett, I used to work for a Midwestern company, and now I’m working for a company that yells and pounds the table in meetings–you can even hear it on the phone! What do I do?”

Well, what happens after those meetings?” I asked. “They all go out for coffee!” she told me.

This is a texbook example of constructive conflict. Yes, it might have been emotionally charged and intense, but everyone respected each other enough to be friendly afterward. You might feel that it’s hard to see conflict as anything but a barrier to communication, but if you use it the right way, it can be an effective tool.

Here are some tips on how to do just that.

ATTACK THE IDEA, NOT THE PERSON

Intense conflicts can be civil. The key is not to let it get personal–which means making sure that you direct any criticism toward ideas, not people. Many of us know to avoid telling someone, “I don’t think you’ve done your research on this issue” or, “How could you possibly come to that conclusion?!” since these clearly sound like an attack on the person. But finding alternative phrasing isn’t always easy. When in doubt, delete any second-person (“your”/”your”) phrases from your vocabulary, and start with “I” phrase that zeroes in on the underlying concept. For example, “I struggle with that conclusion.” Now you can center the discussion around the conclusion itself–not the person who proposed it.


Like this Article ?  Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 2.5 Million Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/fscnetwork

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/First-Sun-Consulting-LLC-Outplacement-Services/213542315355343?sk=wall

Google+:  https://plus.google.com/115673713231115398101/posts?hl=en

Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

Question: Want the ‘the best/current articles/blogs on the web’ on Job Search, Resume, Advancing/Changing your Career, or simply Managing People?

Answer: Simply go to our FSC Career Blog below & type(#career, #leadership, #life) in Blog Search:  https://www.firstsun.com/fsc-career-blog/

What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

Continue of article:

Related:Want More Creative Employees? Create Some Conflict 

BE ESPECIALLY CAREFUL WITH YOUR TONE

Sometimes what you say doesn’t matter as much as how you say it. And when you’re sharing a critique, you have to be especially mindful of your tone. My client’s colleagues might have participated in loud conversations–but those discussions weren’t overly emotional, sarcastic, or condescending. Tone isn’t about the volume of your voice; you can still be calm and collected while verbally putting someone down. As Fast Company’Lydia Dishman previously reported, passive-aggression comes in many forms. For example, you might start off by using logic to point out the flaws in your coworker’s point–but if you end by saying something like, “You don’t mind, do you?” your coworker might read your tone as patronizing.


Related: Here’s What Being Too Nice At Work Is Costing Your Company


DON’T FLOUT CULTURAL NORMS

Some companies are more comfortable with conflict than others, and every company will have its own “rules” about what’s acceptable and what’s not. Those rules might not be written anywhere, but if you look at how your organization has dealt with conflict in the past, you can usually get a sense of how its culture operates. Some workplaces are comfortable with constructive conflict as long as it stays behind closed doors, and employees and senior leadership show a united front in public. Others embrace displaying their conflict openly. So stay attuned to corporate culture as well as societal norms. As my client found, the way his Midwestern colleagues operated was pretty different than the approach his Israeli associates took. Neither was necessarily “better” or “worse” than the other, but in order to have productive disagreements, he needed to adapt to those teams’ respective cultures.

FOCUS ON MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS (EVEN IF IT MEANS BITING YOUR TONGUE)

Remember, just because you disagree with someone’s idea, you still need to show that you value their input. This might require extra effort on your part–like being selective about when to voice your criticism. If you argue too frequently, others may find it hard to believe you’re doing so in good faith. If, on the other hand, you share your disagreement a little more strategically, you’re more likely to strengthen your relationships–and improve the odds that your criticism will actually register, without hurting feelings.


Related: How I’ve Learned To Stop Arrogance From Silently Hurting My Career


CALCULATE THE OPPORTUNITY COST

On the other hand, if you’re on the fence about whether to raise an objection, consider the possible downsides to not engaging in constructive conflict. What potential consequences will staying silent bring? Depending on your company culture, you may be viewed as lacking conviction in your ideas if you seem afraid to stand up for them. In that case, not speaking up could actually backfire. Not to mention, if you don’t voice your disagreement early on, you might be setting yourself up for a bigger explosion later by keeping your thoughts bottled up.

Needless to say, no two situations will be the same. If you’re unsure of how direct you should be–start by listening and observing. You can learn a lot just by paying attention to people’s body language and how they respond. When it comes to constructive conflict, context is everything. But whatever you do, just don’t let it get personal.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Anett Grant is the CEO of Executive Speaking, Inc. and the author of the new e-book,CEO Speaking: The 6-Minute Guide. Since 1979, Executive Speaking has pioneered breakthrough approaches to helping leaders from all over the world–including leaders from 61 of the Fortune 100 companies–develop leadership presence, communicate complexity, and speak with precision and power.

More

FastCompany.com| April 14, 2018 | Anett Grant