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#Leadership : My Mom With Alzheimer’s Needed Me. My Business Did, Too…Unexpected and Unasked-for Lessons in #Caregiving –In Work, Life, and Death.

May 1, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

When my mother was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, in 2014, she was 86 and already at a late stage of her disease. I was hard at work running my brand marketing agency, and knew I’d need to scale things back in order to care for her. I trimmed my client list and planned for the company’s finances to tighten. But I could never have fully readied myself for the experience ahead.

Anyone who’s cared for a loved one with Alzheimer’s knows all too well the pain, frustration, and suffering experienced by both patient and caregiver. Many of us must also hold down a job or keep a business running while managing doctors, home health workers, finances, legal documents, prescriptions, food shopping, equipment rentals and, of course, just spending time with your ailing relative. Then there are the minor details of your own personal life, which can instantly fall to the bottom of your never-ending to-do list.

It was much later that I noticed there was something else–unexpected and unasked-for–to be gained from the devastating experience of watching my mother disappear into someone else: I’d learned several lessons in caregiving that have profoundly changed how I live and work ever since.

ALWAYS STOP TO ASK, “HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS?”

At the beginning of my mother’s decline, I tended to correct every erroneous statement she made:

“I didn’t have any lunch.”

“Yes you did, Mom. You ate 20 minutes ago.”

I would battle it out over and over, as she asserted and I counter-asserted. I finally learned to say nothing, or just “Okay, we’ll give you lunch in 15 minutes”–which she would promptly forget.

This experience was painful, but I think of it often these days, as a reminder to choose my battles. You can’t fight every available fight. It’s more important to save the heavy protesting for misguided thinking that can have a real negative impact. Just winning an argument doesn’t win you much.

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FLEXIBILITY IS THE BEST TIME-MANAGEMENT STRATEGY

The best-laid plans for completing long to-do lists often go awry, especially when there’s an emergency–whether it’s when a parent has an accident that requires a hospital visit, or a public-relations calamity with a client. I had a high-profile restaurant client who received the occasional bomb threat. Try prioritizing just three must-do tasks per day when you’re dealing with that. Everything I accomplished beyond that felt like a huge achievement, and I learned not to berate myself for failing to get to non-urgent tasks.

FORGIVE YOURSELF

If you make a mistake–and you absolutely will, in business or in caregiving–own up to it and move on. Toward the end of her life, I accidentally gave my mother an extra dose of morphine; she slept for 24 hours straight. Assuming it occurred despite your best intentions, self-forgiveness rather than self-condemnation is the way forward. Mistakes are just about inevitable when you’re emotionally drained and stretched thin. We’re all human, and we do better work when we’re feeling confident and good about ourselves in the face of challenges–rather than beating ourselves up over them.

TAKE TIME OFF

Pride in a relentless work schedule and no vacation is short-sighted and just plain stupid. Caring for my mother, I felt at first that time off was a luxury I just shouldn’t afford, but I soon realized I needed it in order to care for her. It’s a crucial lifeline for staying sane and recharging, which carries into your work life in the form of refreshed perspectives and space for new ideas and strategy tweaks.

That’s all the more true now that digital tools make it possible to be available virtually 24/7; time off should still always mean actually going offline. Whether it’s to do your best work and remind your boss that you’re essential or to endure the stresses of caregiving, you’ll need to unplug every now and then.

REMEMBER THAT IT WON’T ALWAYS BE THIS WAY

As a caregiver, there will be times when you simply want to give up, or cry, or throw something. When you just want to run away and make someone else do it. Likewise with difficult clients or projects. Tomorrow is a new day, and there will be other goals to meet, small victories, or moments of emotional connection or clarity you couldn’t have anticipated–with an Alzheimer’s patient or with a client.

But perhaps the biggest lesson I learned after saying goodbye to my mother and returning, steadily, to my business was this: This is your life, wherever you are, and it’s going by. So stop and step back for a moment. Take a breath. Then take one step forward. Life goes on.

Val Brown is the CEO of Val Brown Group, a brand strategy, marketing, and licensing consultancy working with retail, restaurant, music, entertainment, lifestyle, and nonprofit clients.

Fast Company.com | May 1, 2018 | BY VAL BROWN 3 MINUTE READ

#Life : 3 Powerful Ways to Keep Your Past From Dictating Your Future…Share your Story, create Connections on a Deeper Level and However you Started Life will Become your Launch Pad Instead of your Burden.

September 2, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Growing up, I was a pretty unlikely candidate for the life I’m leading today, at least that’s what it looked like from the outside. I was raised in a rougher part of the Newark, N.J. area, and I stumbled into drugs and gang-related stuff pretty early. I got deep into alcohol, marijuana and even almost arrested on drug charges.

I don’t share a lot of these details publicly, usually, but it’s important to me to honor where I came from and how my experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. As the Millennial Mentor, I connect with a lot of young people. I’m also really proud to have brought a start-up incubator to Newark, called Fownders, where I’m investing all of my energy into elevating the next wave of young creators who think a future like mine seems impossible.

I’ve heard a lot of stories.

And, we all have stories. We’ve done things we’re not proud of, we’ve overcome insane adversities, we are each a testament to the power of the human spirit in our own ways. It’s not what happens to us that matters — it’s the way we deal with it.

Something that needs to be emphasized is that your past doesn’t dictate your future. And while this phrase may get thrown around a lot in motivational circles, I’ve really lived myself into the truth of that. I’ve heard many very talented young people voice their concerns about being held back by where they’ve come from and what they’ve done.

From violence to homelessness, you name it, sometimes we don’t get handed the easiest spread of cards to work with. With that said, the best stories are always the ones of the underdog rising to the top, making it against all odds, and putting in the necessary faith and hard work to overcome their experiences and beliefs.

We all appreciate our successes much more when we really value the evolution of them. There are a few key things to remember when moving forward and feeling held back by something in your past:

1. It’s not the negative experience.

It’s never the experience that creates the pain or adversity for us, it’s the way we think about it. Sometimes this is a tough message to swallow, but the truth is that no matter what happens, if you believe you can transcend it, you will. The mind is very powerful, and it does create our experience of the world around us in a big way. So if you believe you can’t or that you’re trapped in a bad situation forever, your reality will reflect that. If you believe you are capable, that you are supported [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][or will find support] and that your presence is needed in the world — that’s what your experience will be like.

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2. Everyone has a story.

Fear of judgment is a big thing. Many people argue that the fear of not being liked is one of the greatest human fears. I’d agree with this, because the larger of a presence you become, and the more visibility you become willing to show up for, the more you are apt to deal with people projecting their own pains and insecurities onto you. In other words, haters and judgment. You have to become rock solid in knowing that when other people judge you or where you’ve been, it’s really not about you. They have their own stories. It can take time and effort, but if you can look at everyone in this light, you become a lot less phased by the prospect of being judged.

3. Use your story as your motivation.

It would be really easy to stay stuck where you are or where you’ve been – but it would also be no way to live. If you have a desire to create or be something, then it’s imperative that you create or be that something, and with every ounce of belief that you can. When I look back on my experiences, they make me really excited to support other millennials, because I can resonate with a whole variety of different backgrounds and stories. From rock bottom to mega-success, I’ve been there. It keeps me humble, and that’s the most important thing you can be on your way to where you’re going — other than insanely faithful to your own worth. The two can go hand-in-hand, and they need to.

The Bottom Line is that no matter what your past looks like, there are tons of other people who have been there. When you share your story, it also allows people to connect with you on a deep level, which builds a lot of respect and loyalty from your community. While it’s hard to let go of the fear of being judged and it’s a constant process, the more you focus on what you have to give rather than being defined by where you’ve been, the easier it is to keep moving forward.

Entrepreneur.com | September 2, 2016 | Gerard Adams

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#Life : 6 Things You’re Doing That You’ll Seriously Regret In 10 Years…Sure, They seem Like No Big Deal Now. But Be Careful of These Key Areas of Future Regret.

August 25, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Scrolling through my social media feed, I noticed a college friend’s photograph of his son’s dormitory. My friend and I had been thick as thieves during our undergraduate years, and now his son was leaving home, and roughly the age his father was when he and I first met.

Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of regret.

We hadn’t seen each other in years, even though we live roughly an hour apart. I don’t really know his children well, and he doesn’t know mine. Over the years, when one of us reached out to the other, we were always busy with work, soccer practices, music lessons, or other commitments. “Next time for sure,” we’d say as we postponed. At one time in our lives, I thought we’d be close pals forever and our children would carry on the next generation of our friendship. It didn’t work out that way.

With a full roster of work, family, friends, and other obligations—not to mention trying to make time to stay healthy and have an occasional moment or two alone—it can be tough to fit in all the things we want and need to do. As we try to keep all of those commitments, it’s not uncommon to form habits and take shortcuts that let us fit more into the day. We may stay at our desks longer, forego vacations, or crowd out time for family and friends.

Many people let fear rule when it comes to making decisions, which is a common source of regret.

A recent survey by Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America found that roughly one-third (32%) of Americans regret major choices in their lives.

But what kind of consequences do those decisions have in the long run? Possibly big ones, experts say. Here are some key things you may be doing now that you’ll likely regret in a decade or more.

GIVING UP ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Many people have relationship regrets, whether they’re related to friends or romantic partners, says Gail Saltz, MD, an associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine. The relationship road not taken is a big source of regret among people she sees. Career-focused romantic partners may find themselves either living in different areas or faced with one partner making a sacrifice to be with the other.

“Given the day and age we’re living in now, many, many people feel they shouldn’t have to do that for someone else, and so they don’t,” she says. Later, they may have the great career, but regret that they didn’t try harder to make the relationship work, she says.

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NEGLECTING FRIENDSHIPS

While lost friendships are often considered unimportant compared to romantic partners, their loss can be just as painful and regrettable, says Neal Roese, PhD, a professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, and author of If Only: How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity.

When you put in too many hours at work and let those friendships drift away, you’re setting yourself up for regret. Roese has coauthored several studies on regrets and their causes and says that not making time to maintain friendships is a big one, especially because it can be harder to make new deep friendships later in life. This is especially true at work, where friendships with colleagues can boost both happiness and productivity.

BEING SEDENTARY

It’s easy to end up sitting at your desk all day or blow off working out because you’re tired when you get home. However, failing to make time for regular exercise can affect everything from your overall health to your creativity. As we get older, establishing a regular exercise habit is even more important.

A March 2016 study in the online issue of Neurology found that regular exercise can slow brain aging by as much as 10 years. Saltz says that many people know better, but don’t heed the potential consequences of their actions when they’re younger. “It’s a firmly rooted early belief that I’m invincible, or I’ll be young forever, or these issues of later just don’t pertain to me,” she says.

PUTTING OFF A HEALTH HISTORY

Similarly, Saltz says compiling a routine health history—including check-ups and routine testing such as blood pressure, cholesterol, and others—is important in the long run. If you’re not compiling a health history and, when possible, sharing health concerns and history with a medical professional, you risk missing important warning signs. Many treatments are time-limited, and early detection can make a big difference in outcomes, she says.

IGNORING STRESS MANAGEMENT

Living in a chronic state of being overscheduled and under a variety of pressures can lead to a number of stress-related behaviors and problems, says stress expertMary Wingo, PhD, author of The Human Stress Response: The Biological Origins and Responses to Human Stress.

There’s even evidence that prolonged stress can predispose people to mental illness. Wingo says it’s important to find ways to mitigate that stress before it causes damage.

“Sit down—by yourself, with a therapist, self-help group, etc.—and list every single stressor,” Wingo advises. Then make a conscious effort, the way you would if you were going on a diet or quitting smoking, to eliminate what stressors you can, she says. Adopt stress-relieving habits like meditation, exercise, and other practices that are helpful to relieve stress.

LETTING FEAR DRIVE DECISIONS

Whether it’s fear of not making enough money, disapproval from others, or other concerns, many people let fear rule when it comes to making decisions, which is a common source of regret, says Hal Shorey, PhD, associate professor in the Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology at Widener University.

Instead of taking healthy risks and following their passions or intuition, some people worry that they won’t meet certain standards they, or others, have for themselves and instead make choices that aren’t really right for them. Such fear-based decision making can also lead to ethical issues, which Shorey has seen with his students:

My first management job, and this happens with a lot of my grads, they’re making good money for the first time in their lives, and they think to themselves, “Oh my goodness, I’ve arrived.” Then they’ll be asked to do things professionally that they may think are unethical, or they might be asked to do things professionally that go against their own knowledge of leadership and the right way to do things. Because they’re too concerned about losing the job, they go along with it and conform.

Shorey says that almost inevitably leads to regret.

Of course, it’s not possible to map out a strategy for a regret-free life, and some regrets are bigger than others. However, Roese says that paying attention to the areas where research shows us most people have regrets can help us be more mindful about our choices.

Looking for ways to “have your cake and eat it, too” can help. Nurture friendships at work. Make time for important people in your life. Take care of your health. Being aware of your own values system and what matters to you can also help you make more regret-free decisions, he says.

Says Roese:

Some regrets we just get over. We rationalize or explain them away. But other things linger. I think that the key question that a lot of people like to talk about these days is, let’s say you’ve reached the end of your life, or maybe you’re on your deathbed. What are your deathbed regrets? If you look at these, there might be a recipe for how better to live your life.

FastCompany.com | GWEN MORAN 08.25.16 5:09 AM

#Leadership : 6 Effective Ways To Get What You Want In Life…Gratitude is the Greatest Drug on the Planet . And there is no side effect. From Hand-Written Thank-You Notes to Taking Two Minutes and Writing Down as Many Things you’re Grateful For as Possible: When we Actually take a Moment to Focus Exclusively on Gratitude, it Shifts our Mood. This is Real Stuff. This Really Works.

August 21, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Here are the highlights from my recent interview with Dave Kerpen, New York Times NYT +0.85% bestselling author and founder of Likeable Media, and his thoughts on outsourcing social media, being selfless, differentiating, staying top of mind and gratitude.

William: Let’s talk about the connection between your new book, The Art of People,and the kind of work that you’re doing in the social media space.

Dave: How can you really even think about people skills without considering social media today? So many businesses want to grow, and they want to figure out how to use social media, but they don’t really have a lot of time. And that’s where our software comes in. But there are certain things that you can’t automate. And people skills are one of those things. No matter how much you take advantage of technology, tools, software, at the end of the day you still have to be a person, and you have to relate to other people.

You can outsource content, advertising, and paid tools to help grow your social media presence. What you really can’t outsource is your individual responses to people and how you talk to individuals. It’s impossible to outsource the one-to-one conversations. It’s okay to have a social media assistant, but you’ve got to be transparent about it.

William: You have identified the most important question you can ask if you want to stand out in a meeting. I’d love for you to share that.

Dave: I can’t have meetings with salespeople every day. But there was this one guy, Michael Kiplin, who said, “Dave, I have one question for you, and I promise I will not try to sell you anything.” This got my attention.

So I sat down with him, and he said, “Any thoughts as to how I can help you?” I said, “I happen to be fundraising right now. You could be helpful by introducing me to a venture capitalist.” So he said, “You got it. I’ll introduce you to a VC.” And I said, “Well, thank you. Tell me about yourself. Like, what do you sell? How much is it?” And he said, “You know what, Dave, I told you I wasn’t going to come in here and do that today.”

So he basically refused to sell. He followed up by introducing me to a VC who didn’t invest in us, but the sentiment was there. A few months later, I called Michael up, and he became our financial planner.

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If you act selflessly at first, it’s very powerful. That kind of thing is unforgettable. But you have to do it authentically. You have to truly want to help and have some ideas about how you can help. That’s the difference between somebody who’s going through the motions and somebody who’s very successful with this tip.

William: Is there another “people skill” that you get especially excited about?

Dave: I think that listening is the single most important skill in social media and business and really in life. I recommend truly zoning in, making eye contact, focusing exclusively on that person. And by the way, there’s an enormous difference between listening and waiting to talk. Most people are thinking of what they’re going to say next, and they’re planning. The true listener is really just seeking to understand and will think about what to say next after they’re done listening to what the person has to say.

William: You have techniques for effective networking. Can you share one?

Dave: Sure. I have a chapter in the book called “Wear Orange Shoes: The Secret to Networking.” When I was first fundraising for Likeable Local, I was trying to track down this one particular venture capitalist named Dave McClure out of Silicon Valley. He was in New York, where I lived, for a conference. There were probably over 500 entrepreneurs at this conference, so I found myself really struggling throughout the day to meet him. I was kind of bummed out. And I hear, as I’m staring down at my phone, “I need to meet the man that’s wearing those *** shoes.” And there’s Dave. And of course, I was wearing bright orange shoes as I tend to do. Within several weeks, Dave invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in our business. In a crowded place, having a specific personal brand that helps differentiate you is a very powerful thing.

William: For those of you who’ve never seen Dave in person, he always has on a lot of orange. It’s the brand color for Likeable. Let’s talk a little bit about how to stay top of mind. We get 8 million emails and phone calls. And we’re tweeting and we’re Facebooking and we’re in meetings. It’s pretty hard to stay top of mind.

Dave: Social media has brought an opportunity for you to stay top of mind by essentially staying top of feed, on top of people’s newsfeeds on Facebook FB -0.31%, onLinkedIn LNKD +0.07%, on Twitter, on Instagram. And the way to do that is to curate and share awesome content. We have found that it doesn’t even need to be original content, by the way.

Dentists typically send two postcards a year. You think, “Well, that probably costs a lot.” And it does. But what if you could send two postcards a week? And what if that was basically free? Well, it starts to get pretty interesting. Social media allows you to stay top of mind as long as you’re adding value. I’m not talking about trying to sell stuff every day.

William: You must have a mind-shifting takeaway for folks.

Dave: Gratitude is the greatest drug on the planet . And there is no side effect. From hand-written thank-you notes to taking two minutes and writing down as many things you’re grateful for as possible: when we actually take a moment to focus exclusively on gratitude, it shifts our mood. This is real stuff. This really works.

William Arruda is a personal branding guru and co-founder of CareerBlast, a video platform and virtual coach that helps you get promoted faster. Download his free eBook 13 Things All Successful Professionals Do To Fuel Their Careers.

Forbes.com | August 21, 2016 | William Arruda

#Life : The 4 Attributes You Must Develop to Achieve Everything You Want in Life…Everyone wants Success. But are You Willing to Change?

August 19, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Without change, there can be no growth. And in order to get what you’ve never had, you must become someone you’ve never been. Before you go into the woods, you’ll need a map. Rest assured others have forged the route before you. Their experiences can help guide you to your own best you.

Live forward by making a life plan.

With “Living Forward: A Proven Plan To Stop Drifting And Get The Life You Want,” authors Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy help you begin to become the architect of your own life. Most of us make plans for everything — vacations, dinner, our children’s school functions. But rarely does a person make a life plan. If I asked you to summarize your life plan, could you tell me? Probably not.

If you finally want to live with more intention and purpose in your life or become an entrepreneur now and not later, then your extraordinary life is on the other side of your life-planning design process.

“Living Forward” offers solid advice in several key areas:

Understanding why you need a plan (because as humans, we drift and get distracted).
Learning how to create your life plan beginning with the end in mind (answering, “What legacy do you want to leave behind?”).
Making it happen (triaging your calendar and scheduling your priorities).

Many of us see change as threatening. Some even regard it as the destroyer of what is familiar and comfortable rather than the creator of what is new and exciting. Unfortunately, comfort is the enemy of excellence.

“For the timid, change is frightening, for the comfortable, change is threatening, but for the confident, change is opportunity,” motivational speaker Nido Qubein writes in “Stairway to Success: The Complete Blueprint for Personal and Professional Achievement.”

Decide what you’ll do with your current opportunity. In order to grow and achieve new heights in your life, you must make a commitment to change. Focus your attention on growing in areas that will add personal and professional value. Don’t let your comfort zone kill the excellence within your reach. Make your life plan today.

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Distill your thoughts and actions to 4 key attributes.

New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard believes there are four cornerstones to achievement. In “The Charge: Activating the 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive,” he writes that if you truly want to succeed in your career, you must develop four attributes: desire, direction, discipline and distraction radar.

Desire. You have to really want it. Your new endeavor should make you feel alive — it might even keep you up at night. Your desire to develop greater KSAs (knowledge, skills and abilities) will lead to you becoming a better person in the process. The challenges you encounter will test your boundaries, forcing growth.

Direction. Desire is one thing, but you need to harness it by learning to stretch your competency. You must be willing to educate yourself in new ways. You might take a class or attend a seminar, read a new biography, participate in a webinar, ask for help or seek out mentors. Learn how others have achieved a goal, model it, and mimic their strategies while you carve out your own path. Be a student of life. Continue to read and expose yourself to new ideas. Never stop learning.

Discipline. Success is within your reach if you’re willing to be more consistent than ever before. You must establish habits and repeat them every day until they are second nature. Ask yourself, “What discipline could I consistently follow to get me where I want to be in my career?” Don’t think of discipline in a negative way. Think of discipline as the joyous pursuit of your dreams.

Distraction Radar. You inevitably will be distracted from your goals. Many things compete for your time — emails, phone calls, social media, television and the list goes on. The world will toss its agenda in front of you. You have to be savvy enough to recognize distractions and move them out of your way. Listen to those moments your distraction radar sounds a warning and take away these interruptions’ power to sap your time and energy.

To begin thinking more intentionally about these four attributes, ask yourself a few pointed questions tomorrow morning:

What do I desire today?
What direction will I take today?
In which area will I be disciplined today?
To which distractions will I not succumb today?

Plan how you’ll deal with resistance to change.

In order to continually implement these four attributes, you need a system — a framework — to which you continually return when you fall off the motivational wagon. It’s resistance at work, and it happens to the best of us. In Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art,” he puts it quite bluntly.

“Resistance’s goal is not to wound or disable,” Pressfield writes. “Resistance aims to kill. Its target is the epicenter of our being: our genius, our soul, the unique priceless gift we were put on earth to give and that no one else has but us. Resistance means business. When we fight it, we are in a war to the death.”

Start each day focused and productive.

How you wake up and start each day is vital to your levels of success in every area of your life. Author Hal Elrod makes a compelling case in “The Morning Miracle: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM).” He writes that “Focused, productive, successful mornings generate focused, productive, successful days — which inevitably create a successful life — in the same way that unfocused, unproductive and mediocre mornings generate unfocused, unproductive and mediocre days and ultimately a mediocre quality of life. By simply changing the way you wake up in the morning, you can transform any area of your life, faster than you ever thought possible.”

Aren’t you excited by those words? I know I am. Remember, when you start changing your habits, you are changing who you are becoming. It’s by far the greatest determinant in your quality of life now and in the future. Still, most people avoid change. This will not be you. This is your time to banish self-limiting thoughts and share your gifts with the world.

S.A.V.E. yourself from an unfulfilled life.

The framework that helped Hal Elrod can help you. He identifies six practices as Life S.A.V.E.R.S. Each letter signifies meaning.

The first “S” is for silence. Elrod starts his day silently to reduce stress and anxiety. During his silence, Elrod likes to meditate, pray, reflect, do some deep breathing and concentrate on gratitude.

“A” is for Affirmations. Elrod challenges readers to identify five simple outcomes that create personalized affirmations:

What you really want (program your mind with beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that are vital to you being able to reach Level 10 success).
Why you want it (when you are clear about your deepest whys, you will gain an unstoppable purpose).
Whom you commit to being, in order to create your new reality (life gets better only when you do).
What you commit to do to attain it (write down an action step or steps and stick to your list).
Which inspirational quotes and philosophies you’ll read to influence your thoughts (my favorite motivational speakers are Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar).

“V” is for Visualization, a tool most successful athletes use. I like to call it intentional daydreaming. Visualization enables you to see a future you want. When you do it often enough, you’ll look for ways to make that future your reality. Visualization can be a powerful aid to overcoming self-limiting habits such as procrastination. It helps you find the willpower to take necessary actions and achieve your goals.

“E” is for Exercise. Author and thought leader Robin Sharma said, “If you don’t make time for exercise, you’ll probably have to make time for illness.” Get moving. You might never feel like working out, but remember that emotion follows motion. Once you start moving, you’ll feel good you did it.

“R” is for Reading. It’s said that “A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.” You must develop a love for reading — or at least remember the previous point about emotion following motion.

The last “S” is for Scribing — another word for journaling. When I get something out of my head and onto paper, I see it more clearly. Journaling can help you gain mental clarity as you reread your own thoughts in black and white.

Devote six minutes each morning.

You might think all this will take too much time to do each morning. Do you have at least six minutes to spare? Then you have enough time. Just take one minute for each.

Minute 1: Wake up and say a prayer of gratitude.
Minute 2: Repeat your affirmations to help tap into your unlimited potential.
Minute 3: Visualize yourself smiling and laughing with a loved one.
Minute 4: Write down a reason you have to be grateful today.
Minute 5: Read a page or two in a personal or professional development book.
Minute 6: Run in place for 60 seconds.

Realize it takes daily discipline to form new habits.

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments,” Charles Duhigg writes in “The Power of Habit.” That bridge must be crossed daily. Habits are behaviors you repeat regularly and most often, subconsciously. As Duhigg puts it, “People do not decide their future, they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.” The key is consistency.

Elrod agrees. He believes it takes at least 30 days to solidify a habit. You might feel discomfort or even some pain in the first 20 days. The transformation comes in the last phase, when the new habit becomes a part of your identity. It transcends the space between something you’re trying and who you are becoming, leading you to associate pleasure with your new habit.

Days 1 to 10 are Phase One: Unbearable.
Days 11-20 are Phase Two: Uncomfortable.
Days 21-30 are Phase Three: Unstoppable.

To achieve real, meaningful change, you must first design your life and then emulate the four attributes every morning. The first step begins with dedicating yourself to this new purpose.

Will you commit?

Entrepreneur.com | August 17, 2016 | Meiko Patton

#Leadership : Determine Your Life’s Purpose in 10 Minutes. What’s yours? ….. Are we Spending our ‘Time’ Doing What we were Really Put on this Earth to Do?

July 18, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

There are activities in life that no matter how much time you spend on them, or how intensely you focus on them, they give you energy. These are the activities that you need to invest time in, for they provide the path to fulfilling your purpose in life.

What’s my purpose in life? It’s an easy question to ponder and lose time contemplating. We’ve all been guilty of dwelling on it at some point. Those who know their purpose and go after it with conviction, they seem so “lucky,” while the rest of us are lost in a world of gray, moving from day to day wondering if what we do really matters, if we’re spending our time doing what we were really put on this earth to do.

But the search for our purpose isn’t some impossible philosophical exercise. Nor is it something that you need to spend your whole life searching for and struggling to determine. Because you already know the answer, and you’ve actually known it your entire life. It’s right in front of your nose. Or perhaps more accurately, it’s within your nose, through your lungs and at the core of your central nervous system.

The answer is the same for everyone yet different at the same time. The answer is: Energy.

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But not just any energy.

As human beings, we have been given countless and miraculous gifts. God, the universe, the universal mind – whatever you want to call it based on whatever you believe — gave us the spectacular gift of life. And not just any life. A unique life. A life that, while connected to everyone else, is uniquely ours.

And after the gift of life – which is certainly our greatest gift – the second greatest gift is the gift of Energy.

I’m not talking about the superficial (and lowercase) energy you get from coffee or going for a run, or after receiving a compliment or recognition.

I’m talking about the Energy at the core of your being, the Energy you were given before birth, and the Energy that makes you unique. The Energy that you’re either working with in life or against. The Energy that you either obey – because you know that your purpose in life is going with its flow — or the Energy you don’t recognize, leading to a life of enduring pain.

The Energy that was given to you as your day-in and day-out guide to fulfilling your purpose in life.

You see, the simplest way to know if you’re fulfilling your purpose in life is to ask yourself “How painful are my days? How hard and taxing is my work?” If your answer to these questions is anything on the medium to high scale, you’re not living your purpose.

You were designed to fulfill a certain purpose. It’s not something you create in your life. This purpose existed before you were born. To fulfill this purpose, you need to follow what your Energy is telling you. How do you know if you’re not paying attention?

When people go with the flow of their Energy, life seems almost too easy, too effortless. When you’re going against the flow of your Energy, everything seems needlessly difficult.

There are activities in life that no matter how much time you spend on them, or how intensely you focus on them, they give you energy. These are the activities that you need to invest time in, for they provide the path to fulfilling your purpose in life.

Then there are other activities in life – and this makes up the majority of activities, or all those outside of your unique abilities — that no matter what, drain you of energy. Regardless of how much you try to optimize your efforts, plan for their success or train to improve in them, these activities just suck the life out of you. There is nothing that can be done to make these activities align with your Energy, and thus you’re not fulfilling your purpose in life while engaged in them.

As human beings, it’s so easy for us to ignore our strengths because we don’t see them as strengths. Our strengths can feel deceptively insignificant, like everyone in the world possesses them. But they don’t. In fact, your most effortless activities will be the most impressive to others. And this has always been the universe’s plan.

If you’re operating within your strengths – or in alignment with your Energy — your activities will feel effortless. In the beginning it will feel like you’re not doing anything special, but stop connecting your level of pain with your level of impact. Instead, do what comes naturally to you, and allow your results to be your feedback.

When you’re invested in your strengths, abiding by your Energy, and avoiding those things that are so obviously not you, the results will blow beyond anything you’ve experienced before. It’s not going to happen overnight. Results in the physical world lag the immediate results we can experience in the spiritual and mental world, but it will happen. After all, our physical reality is nothing but a reflection of our former thinking, a reflection of our former alignment to our own unique Energy.

We’ve been brought-up to believe that you should push yourself out of your comfort zone. That you need to endure pain, suffering and back-breaking work to achieve success and fulfillment. And while massive sacrifice, a steadfast commitment toward your compelling future and significant time spent working within your unique ability are essential to achieving success, the point is that it doesn’t have to be painful.

Does this mean you shouldn’t work hard? Does this mean that you shouldn’t train to constantly get better? Does this mean that the achievement that you seek will come immediately? No, definitely not.

It simply means that the work you do should resonate with your Energy. Your activities should give you back more energy than you put in. You should feel exhausted at the end of the day, but not from pain and stress, but rather because the Energy in your core is overheating and needs to be recharged overnight to allow you to attack the next day with even more gusto.

Here’s three steps to finding your purpose in life.

Write down what activities (or activity) in life gives you more energy than you put in.

These are the activities where you can completely max out and use up your physical energy, and by doing so, you create more energy, making you simply want to do more. These activities “feel right,” and even though you work intensely on them, it feels effortless. The tough times, no matter how tough, are worthwhile. It’s never a matter of “if” these activities will produce the right results, but “when.” These activities follow the following principal:

Mental and spiritual energy out > physical energy in

I recommend conducting this exercise with other people close to you and who support your betterment. As stated above, it can be very difficult for people to identify their own strengths and unique abilities.

For me, that which gives me the greatest energy is speaking, inspiring, writing and teaching on the topics of human connection, high performance and life optimization. When I do this, I’m on fire, meaning I’m a better leader, a better husband, a better friend and everything in my life seems to have intense clarity. For this reason, I’ve learned that my purpose in life – what my Energy is guiding me to do — is to proactively drive others to become better versions of themselves.

Write down the activities in life that drain you of energy.

Be honest with yourself.

We have been ingrained to think we should be good at certain things. Leaders should be great managers, but this is not necessarily true. We’re taught to think, “If I don’t excel at operations, I’ll never be able to build a great company.” False. “As a CEO I should be the company’s best sales person.” Who said that?

The point it that there is no should. There is simply what vibes with you and what doesn’t. There are your unique abilities, and then there’s everything else. Stop pretending that you like certain activities when you hate them. Stop putting your weaknesses ahead of your strengths. Have the courage to be ok with not liking everything and not being good at everything. Only when you do this is true greatness – your true purpose in life — possible.

Obey your Energy.

Or more specifically, immediately start to figure out how to do more of No. 1 and less of No. 2. And once you’re Energy-aligned, give it everything you’ve got.

Just because you’re Energy-aligned and fulfilling your purpose in life, it doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be great or even really good at what you do. But it does mean that you’ll feel good and that things will feel right. And with a commitment and a trust that the Energy inside you isn’t all for naught, but rather is a guide for you to fulfill your full potential, you’ll eventually create what you were meant to create. You’ll make the magic you are supposed to make. You’ll be, and become great.

Because your purpose in life is a never-ending journey. Those who recognize their Energy and are guided by it will always know their purpose and will be able to get back on track when an errant drifting-off occurs. Your purpose in life is not to do one thing, but rather, to be you.

You’re a human being, not a human doing, and your purpose is to be the human your Energy guides you to be every single day.

Entrepreneur.com | July 15, 2016 | Sean Kelly

#Leadership : 13 Ways To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns….You View the World Through your Mental Attitude. If that Attitude is Predominantly Negative, it Can Impact Everything, Including Health, Career, Family, & More. Furthermore, Negative Thinking can Have a Spiraling Effect that Attracts More Negative Thinking.

May 9, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Luckily, we can slowly train ourselves over time on how to think by implementing simple techniques. Below, coaches from Forbes Coaches Council offer their guidance on how to get started.

Here are the thirteen (13):

1. Have Daily Negative Thought Time

A paradoxical strategy to gain control over negative thinking is to commit to 10minutes a day ruminating and reviewing them over and over again. Negative Thought Time (NTT) must be 10 minutes and must be every day. When you have a negative thought during the day, jot it down, and tell yourself that you’ll review them during NTT. Over time, you will gain control and negative thinking will stop. – Julie Kantor, PhD, JP Kantor Consulting

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2. Replace the Negative Thoughts

We don’t overcome negative thought patterns, we replace them. For most of us, those negative thought patterns are well-worn neural pathways. Four simple steps:

Notice when you have started the pattern.
Acknowledge that its a pattern you want to change.
Articulate what you want to be different.
Choose a different behavior — one that serves your goals.

– David Taylor-Klaus, DTK Coaching

3. Be Your Own Best Friend

We are mean to ourselves. Nearly 90% of self-talk is negative. Three steps:

Release it. Let it out to help process, not to dwell. Three minutes, then the pity party is over.
Track it. Identify when you have negative thoughts. Awareness will enable reframing.
Reframe it. Once you know why you are being mean, consider what your best friend would say to you. Then tell yourself what you need to hear.

– Michelle Tillis Lederman, Executive Essentials

4. Write Instead of Think

Write down why the negative thought is present. Writing versus thinking helps purge the thought out, and when you can see the words on paper or a screen it is easier to make sense of it and move forward. – Steven Cohen, Meyvn Global

5. Make a Conscious Effort to Find Things to Love, Like and Appreciate

Instead of fighting negative thoughts, consciously reach for better feeling thoughts. One powerful way to do that is to speak (out loud if you can) to what you love, like and appreciate. Heading into a tough talk? “I love the way the coffee tastes today.” “I like the way this chair feels at my back.” “I appreciate the chance to process ideas with my team.” Reach for the relief, and you’ll find it. – Wendy Pitts Reeves, C2C Consulting, PLLC

6. Ask Yourself Some Tough Questions

Reflect on your answers to some tough questions. 1. What do I get from having negative thought patterns? What’s the reward for me? 2. What do I lose by engaging in negative thoughts? What are the costs? 3. What benefits would I receive from engaging in positive thoughts? What costs are associated with thinking more positively? 4. What in my past made me think negatively? 5. What will I do now? – Bill Gardner, Noetic Outcomes Consulting, LLC

7. Establish New Habits

Rather than thinking of it in terms of “overcoming” negative thought patterns, think of it in terms of establishing new habits. You do that by directing your attention to subjects where there’s nothing to “overcome”: subjects that you already feel good about, and therefore think positively about. That could be your pet, your painted toe nails, being outside, the beach… Start with something easy. – Christine Meyer, Christine Meyer Coaching

8. Stop Watching the Morning News

Research has shown just three minutes of negative news in the morning will significantly increase your chances of a negative experience over the course of the day. Research has also shown that positive mindset increases productivity and satisfaction while reducing errors rates. Mindset is a choice, but not always an easy one. Look to eliminate negative influences and stop watching morning news! – Dr. Woody Woodward, HCI

9. Use Affirmations

When you wake up, open your eyes and feel gratitude for the new day. Write down daily affirmations: “I love the people I work with,” “I make positive contributions every day,” or “I am open to inspired thoughts.” If a negative thought creeps in, think of a success you’ve had and the feeling that went with it. Positive thinking is a daily task, but worth it. – Erin Kennedy, Professional Resume Services, Inc.

10. Develop Your Success Routine

Every morning for fifteen years, I’ve done a process I created called “Quantum Programming.” It involves taking time each morning as you wake to meditate and focus on the person you want to be and the quality of life you want to live. You also set a few important goals to keep your momentum building toward your dreams. When you know what you want and are driving at it daily, negativity will fade. – Brett Baughman, The Brett Baughman Companies, Inc.

11. Channel Those Thoughts Into Something Constructive

Negative thought patterns can easily take over, but a fantastic (and constructive) trick is to identify what the negative thought pattern is and a project you’re excited about. Then, consciously commit to this: Every time you find yourself focusing on the negative, refocus your thoughts for five minutes on your exciting project. I did this recently and a new initiative is now ahead of schedule! – Emily Kapit, MS, MRW, ACRW, CPRW, ReFresh Your Step, LLC

12. Focus on Gratitude

Gratitude is underrated by most but is essential to a happy life. Life doesn’t get easier, but we become stronger as we reframe difficulties by recognizing all of the little good things going on around us. Keep a Good List and refer to it daily. Also, focus on what you really want and be very specific. A focused, positive mind will attract what it is seeking over time. – Jen Kelchner, TeenTrep.co

13. Try Movement and Meditation

As a registered yoga teacher (RYT-200) and a writing coach and author, I know that you can‘t escape negative thoughts without physically disrupting them. To get out of your head, get into your body. A few minutes of deliberate breath work (seated 10-15 minute meditation) or body movement (like a yoga class)can disrupt those thinking patterns. To get out of your head, move more. Feel more. – Dave Ursillo, The Literati Writers

Forbes.com | May 9, 2016 | Forbes Coaches Council

#Strategy : 5 Ways To Use Life’s Challenges To Make You Better, Not Bitter…The “My-Life-Fell-Apart-at-Age-26 Club” is a Group that No One Wants to Join, but When We Do, we’re Always Eager to Meet the Other Members & Hear Their Stories.

July 13, 2015/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

That Email was from Courtney Clark, and while our Stories Weren’t Quite the Same—I was Widowed at age 26 & She was Diagnosed with Cancer—we could relate to one another. But Clark’s story didn’t end after she beat Melanoma. Since then, she’s had two more recurrences of cancer. And as if that wasn’t enough to deal with, she also survived a brain aneurysm. Yet, rather than become bitter about the hand she’s been dealt, she chooses to spend her time teaching others about resilience.

Courtney Clark

The “My-Life-Fell-Apart-at-Age-26 Club” is a Group that No One Wants to Join, but When We Do, we’re Always Eager to Meet the Other Members & Hear Their Stories. So when I got an email a couple of weeks ago with a subject line that said, “My life blew up at age 26, too!” it caught my attention.

That email was from Courtney Clark, and while our stories weren’t quite the same—I was widowed at age 26 and she was diagnosed with cancer—we could relate to one another. But Clark’s story didn’t end after she beat Melanoma. Since then, she’s had two more recurrences of cancer. And as if that wasn’t enough to deal with, she also survived a brain aneurysm. Yet, rather than become bitter about the hand she’s been dealt, she chooses to spend her time teaching others about resilience.

Clark, who describes herself as the luckiest unlucky person in the world, is the author of The Giving Prescription, a book that describes how helping others provides physical and emotional healing to anyone going through traumatic circumstances. She’s also a keynote speaker and the founder of a nonprofit.

After several conversations with Clark, I wanted to know her secret to bouncing back after adversity. I asked her how has she’s handled so many health issues without turning into an angry, bitter person. Here are Clark’s five strategies for facing change and overcoming life’s challenges without resentment:

1. Concentrate on the Bull’s-Eye
Life is full of urgent activities—like that email that just pinged onto your computer as you were reading this sentence. In our busy lives, we often get distracted from the tasks that are really important, and start trying to do 25 other things, too. But those 25 things put together are less important than the bull’s-eye. Particularly in times of challenge, you have to focus on what’s most important, and let the rest go.

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2. Be Willing to Go with Plan B

We’re told that successful people have plans. That’s true, but the really successful people are the ones who know what to do when their plan doesn’t work out. The key is learning how to let go of a plan that isn’t serving you. I was diagnosed with cancer at 26 and learned that biological children weren’t likely in my future. Four years later, I met my teenaged son at a volunteer event. Motherhood doesn’t look like I expected, but my son is the child I was meant to parent. We have to let go of Plan A to make room for Plan B.

3. Focus on How You Deal, Not What You’re Dealt

Why did hundreds of people survive the Titanic, but Molly Brown is the only one who became infamous for it? Molly commandeered her lifeboat and organized months-long volunteer efforts on behalf of the other Titanic survivors, rallying everyone around her. Two people can be dealt the same issue, with dramatically different results. Your life story isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about what you do from that moment on.

Forbes.com | July 13, 2015 | Amy Morin