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#Leadership : #WorkPlace – All your #CoWorkers’ Weird Behavior, Explained…. A Psychologist Breaks Down the Three Factors that Drive most People’s Actions. Understand These, and your Colleagues’ Behavior Won’t Seem so Puzzling.

August 1, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Succeeding at work requires understanding other people’s actions and the motivations behind them: Did your colleague intentionally word her email in a way meant to undermine your credibility? Did your client fail to call back because he’s thinking of using another supplier? Did your boss pass you in the hallway without smiling because she’s angry at something you said in your last meeting?

There’s a good chance that, without realizing it, you habitually choose a particular type of explanation for other people’s behavior. And the one you tend to choose matters, because it determines how you react. If you misdiagnose the cause of someone’s actions, you run the risk of doing something that could make a situation worse. To avoid that, it helps to understand the primary factors that drive most people’s actions. Here are the top three worth thinking about anytime you’re puzzling over something a colleague might’ve done or said, and determining how best to respond.

1. TRAITS

This is arguably the most common factor people use when thinking about other people’s behavior. A trait is a stable tendency someone displays in their interactions with the world. Many (but not all) of these traits reflect personality characteristics that guide people’s choices and actions. For example, you may assume your colleague said something to undercut your credibility because you know her to be manipulative. This tendency of hers corresponds to the common personality characteristic of Machiavellianism, which reflects the degree to which individuals try to manipulate others for their own gain.

Yet despite how often we use traits to explain others’ behaviors, psychological studies generally suggest that personality characteristics account for only around 20%–30% of differences in individuals’ behavior (and the real world, of course, is even messier than controlled studies). That means you probably need to look beyond traits to understand what other people are doing and why they’re doing it.

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2. SITUATIONS

Situational circumstances play a big role in what people do and don’t do. So when you’re trying to evaluate what a coworker has done, you also need to think about the context in which they’ve done it. Suppose you left two messages for a client who hasn’t called you back. See if there’s anything you know about that client’s work that might help you figure out what’s going on. You might notice, for instance, that it’s toward the end of their fiscal year, and so they may be dealing with budgets.

Considering the context might sound like an easy or obvious thing to do, but our tendency to interpret events based on personality traits can make situational factors hard to see. To help you out, imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes for a moment: What might be going on around you that would lead you to act as that person did? Even if you can’t diagnose their behavior accurately this way, it may help you avoid assuming that the primary reason for their action was a trait.

3. GOALS

The third big determinant of someone’s actions is their current goals. Most of us overestimate our own impact on people’s behavior. As a result, we assume that we ourselves somehow figure into the explanation for why somebody’s acting in a particular way, when in reality we don’t. It’s much more likely they have some other goal in mind that’s driving what they do.

For example, your boss may have passed you in the hallway without smiling because she’s late for a meeting with a senior executive. She is isn’t angry at you for some prior comment (a situation), and she isn’t generally a cold person (a trait); she’s just mentally preparing for her next meeting (a goal) while on the run. So before jumping to conclusions about someone’s behavior, ask yourself what goals might lead them to act as they did.

As a general strategy, it’s smart to mentally cycle through the traits, situations, and goals that might be motivating your coworkers’ perplexing behavior. The more possibilities you consider, the better prepared you’ll be to respond effectively.

FastCompany.com | 08.01.18 | THE SCIENCE OF WORK

#Leadership : Secrets of the Most #Productive People -How To Deal With A #PassiveAggressive #Coworker …Resist the Urge to be Passive Aggressive Right Back. Try One of these Five Methods Instead.

May 24, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We all know that person who uses sarcasm, snide remarks, and stalling tactics to vent their anger. It can seem childish and sometimes frustrating, but it can also be damaging to your career if the passive-aggressive person is a coworker whose actions are directed toward you.

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. That’s because passive-aggressive behavior is more comfortable to deliver than confrontational behavior, says Charmon Parker Williams, assistant professor of business psychology at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. “Saying what you really mean when you know there will be a disagreement is difficult for many, especially if there is some perceived benefit in sustaining a smooth relationship with a coworker or supervisor,” she says. “Passive-aggressive behavior can be viewed as a way to create more leverage when the level of power is unbalanced in a work situation.”

While venting may release anger in the moment, this type of communication in the workplace is counter-productive. Sarcasm can damage relationships and stalling can interrupt workflow. Instead of being passive aggressive in return, address the behavior by starting conversations or changing your mind-set. Here are five ways to handle a passive-aggressive coworker:

1. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S REALLY BEHIND IT

Organizational change often sparks passive-aggressive behaviors, says Parker Williams. “Employee resistance to changes, like the introduction of new systems or processes, new leadership, a reduction in force, or a new work location often results in passive-aggressive behaviors, especially when employee input was not considered or the change resulted in some degree of loss for the individual,” she says.

“While we often we see resistance as bad, you can also see it as something to honor and understand,” says Beth Linderbaum, managing consultant at Right Management, career and talent development consultants within ManpowerGroup. Introduce the change slowly, and ask the person to share their concerns and listen. “[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Honoring] these concerns can build the foundation of trust,” she says.

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2. MODEL HEALTHY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

While passive-aggressive behavior is an unhealthy way of handling conflict, you don’t have to follow suit. Instead, take a deep breath and think about how you can model healthy conflict management, says Linderbaum. “It may mean taking some time and space until cooler heads can prevail,” she says. “It is okay to say, ‘I hear you. Let me have some time to think about this before we discuss further.’ This can mean seeking to understand and looking for solutions where everyone can win.”

Or come to the conversation offering options, adds Parker Williams. “Don’t put them on the defensive,” she says. “Show empathy for their situation and focus on their needs.”

For example, if a coworker is procrastinating in getting you something you need, go to them and say, “I can see that you are busy, I would imagine that you don’t need an interruption,” suggests Parker Williams. “I value your input and really need to talk to you for about 10 minutes about a project that is due by noon. Can we talk now or at 9:30 this morning?”

3. SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS

When you come across a passive-aggressive coworker, evaluate their behavior through that lens, says Vicki Salemi, career expert for Monster. “It’s not a way to chalk it off, but rather about saying to yourself, ‘Okay, this person is passive aggressive, so I need to react and communicate differently than if this person wasn’t passive-aggressive,’” she says.

If your colleague makes a backhanded compliment, for example, try taking it in stride, says Salemi. “Here’s the thing: you need to work alongside this person and produce excellent work even though they may be getting on your nerves,” she says. “Try to get to know them as a person despite their comments, which may come across as snide, demeaning, and arrogant.”

4. SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Being on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, and it’s important to think about how you’re being impacted by this person in the long term, says Linderbaum.

“If your efforts to understand and model healthy conflict behaviors don’t work you must look at how you are setting healthy boundaries for yourself and getting the support you need,” she says. “This may mean respectfully standing firm or finding a way to exit the relationship all together.”

You can also seek out a trusted person, such as your manager or HR director, in whom you can confide or ask for advice or perspective.

5. CALL THEM OUT

Finally, you may want to call them out on their game, says Salemi. “They might not even be aware of how you’re perceiving their comments,” she says. “Some people are more blunt in delivery than others.”

While you don’t want to stir the pot to the point of animosity, you also don’t have to bear the brunt of their constant barrage of ammo; that’s the makings of a toxic environment, says Salemi. “Push back in a professional manner, and let them know,” she says. “Keep your cool and don’t take it personally. If this person is passive-aggressive toward you, chances are he or she is operating the same way to others.”

You can also turn the tables and ask for clarification, adds Parker Williams. “Don’t get defensive,” she says. “Then confront the individual in private.”

FastCompany.com | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA | 4 MINUTE READ

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Your #Career : What To Do When A #Coworker Has It In For You…Whether They Just Don’t Like You or They’re Engaging in Sabotage, you Need to Deal with a Difficult CoWorker. Here’s How to Prepare for a Resolution.

April 11, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

A surprising number of people just don’t get along at the office. Surprised?

Recent research by The Creative Group found that nearly one-third of executives surveyed have had someone try to make them look bad on the job. This type of behavior can range from pointing out someone’s mistake to copying a coworker’s manager on an email criticizing a project the person worked on. In fact, April has actually been declared Workplace Conflict Awareness Month.

Sometimes, workplace relationships can be complex and confusing. Personality types combined with competitiveness and the desire to protect “territory,” in the professional sense of the word, can combine and create strange behavior. But what do you do when you encounter a coworker who just seems to have it in for you?

“It happens more often than you think,” says New York City-based executive coach Shefali Raina. And the negative behavior may range from simply being adversarial to full-on sabotage. To counter such a difficult coworker requires a combination of strategy and skill.

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FACT-CHECK THE SITUATION

The first step, Raina says, is to try to keep your emotions in check—and fact-check the situation. Having conflict with a coworker, especially if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, can be upsetting. But if you make assumptions about a situation or get angry over a miscommunication, you’re going to exacerbate the situation, she says.

“Ensure that your perception that the coworker dislikes you or is sabotaging you is factual and not imagined by you. Our brains have an incredible ability to create stories and connect the dots based on inadequate facts, so it is equally possible that the truth is something else and we are taking it too personally,” she says. Look at the facts objectively so you take the best next steps.

SHARE THEIR PERSPECTIVE

Sometimes, you can understand another person better if you put yourself in their shoes, says Diane Domeyer, executive director of Menlo Park, California-based The Creative Group, a division of Robert Half International. “Some professionals, especially those in competitive fields, may feel pressure to set themselves apart from their peers to get ahead. Putting others down or taking credit for a teammate’s work may make them think they’ll be seen in a better light,” she says.

Consider your teammate’s motivation with empathy. Are you a newcomer who might be a threat? Did you recently get a promotion the individual wanted? Think about why the coworker may be acting like an adversary.

DON’T RETALIATE

Getting into a tit-for-tat with your coworker isn’t going to do anyone any good. Avoid responding in the heat of the moment, Domeyer says. Wait until you are calm to start a discussion and always speak with an even, polite tone so the situation doesn’t escalate.

MAKE THE CALL

What happens next depends on where you land after you’ve gathered facts and objectively evaluated them. Domeyer says that TCG’s research found that 41% of respondents thought it was best to confront the individual directly, while 40% thought it was best to engage a supervisor.

What you should do really depends on whether you’re dealing with someone who dislikes or is threatened by you versus someone who is actively trying to undermine you or derail your career, Raina says. If the former, it may be a good idea to handle the situation on your own. If the latter—or if you’ve tried to confront the individual and it didn’t work or made the behavior worse—then you may need to engage your supervisor. However, if you can show that you tried to fix the issue on your own, that may show your boss that you made the effort to solve the problem first.

ENGAGE IN RESPECTFUL CONFRONTATION

If you’re dealing with garden-variety jealousy or pettiness, engaging in “respectful confrontation” is usually the way to go, says human resources consultant Cornelia Gamlem, president of The GEMS Group, Ltd. in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and coauthor of The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. When you’re sure you’re calm enough to not let the situation get heated, choose a time when you can have a private conversation with the individual who seems to be causing the problem. Using non-threatening language, state your concern over the tension or behavior the person is exhibiting. Remain respectful and continue to frame the conversation in terms of what you need or is causing concern, she says.

“It’s kind of hard to keep punching back if somebody’s sitting there saying, ‘Okay, I hear what you’re saying, but let’s take the time to really talk about what’s at the root of the problem,’” she says. Sometimes, people just want to be heard. Such respectful confrontation can help you both get to the heart of what’s bothering you.

BRING IN REINFORCEMENTS

If the situation has the potential to be career damaging, document as much as you can and get help. “If there has been real sabotage, for example, you lost an opportunity or someone damaged your work or your reputation, confront it fearlessly and non-emotionally. In my experience, a coworker with a sabotage mind-set will not stop the sabotage if they feel they will get away with it,” Raina says. Bringing in a supervisor or HR person elevates the situation and can help you resolve it quicker.

Sometimes, you’ll need to accept that some people just won’t like you. But when a difference in personalities or styles becomes adversarial, career damaging, or prevents you from getting your work done, taking quick, decisive action is critical to mitigating potential damage.

FastCompany.com | April 11, 2018 | Gwen Moran

#Leadership : 15 Things Your Boss Is Tired of Hearing…Communication is Essential to Career Success. When you’re Trying to Impress your Boss, it’s Important to Know the Right Words to Use. Even a Small, Offhand Statement Could Send the Wrong Message, Damaging your Career for Years.

September 23, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

The boss-employee relationship can be a precarious one. Even the best managers may have difficulty communicating at times, especially if anemployee’s behavior is frustrating. Whether you’ve been at your job for a few months or more than a decade, it’s important to realize that your words make a big difference in how your boss perceives you.

Here are a few phrases you should avoid.

1. “That isn’t my job.”

You may have a very specific job description, but employees excel by doing whatever it takes to make an employer succeed. Always be ready to do more than expected or learn how to do something new. The result could be more job stability.

2. “I’ll quit if…”

Ultimatums tend to come across as threats, which likely won’t get the results you want. You may even find your boss calling your bluff, sending you straight to the unemployment line.

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3.“I can’t come in today.”

An occasional sick day is to be expected but over time, a pattern of calling in can become a problem, whether it’s due to childcare issues, your own ongoing illnesses or just because you don’t feel like it.

4. “I can’t afford to pay my bills.”

Frankly, it’s not your boss’s problem that you can afford things or not. When you accepted your position, you agreed to a salary, which may or may not have increased over time. Your employer’s sole responsibility is to issue that salary in the form of a paycheck.

5. “I’m just here to earn a paycheck.”

It really isn’t smart to mention this, whether it’s true or not. Employees who go the extra mile and put the needs of the business first will be at the front of the line for raises or promotions. Also, get a hold of yourself and go find a job that you have some passion for, if you find that you are always “phoning it in” at work.

6. “It’s not my fault.”

When something goes wrong, avoid playing the blame game and instead focus on how you can work as part of a team to make things right.

7. “My last boss did it differently.”

Whether you’re talking about your previous employer or your boss’s predecessor, this information is irrelevant. Your current boss has every right to come up with a new approach.

8. “I can’t.”

In general, you should strike the word “can’t” from your vocabulary, but this is especially true when your boss asks you to do something. Always show a willingness to give your best effort.

9. “You didn’t tell me to do that.”

Even if your boss neglected to mention something, pointing that out won’t win you any points. Instead take the high road and promise to get right on whatever task needs to be done.

10. “I’m so sleepy.”

Even if you’ve been up all night working or caring for your infant, your boss doesn’t need to know about it.

11. “It’s unfair.”

Comparing yourself to coworkers only makes you look petty and jealous. Instead highlight your own attributes and impress your boss by executing your duties well. Avoid pointing out any preferential treatment you believe others may be getting.

12. “Sorry I’m late — I had a job interview.”

It may seem crazy, but this happens more than you might think. No matter how strong your relationship is with a supervisor, there’s no need to mention this. If you choose to look for a job, do so behind the scenes, during lunch breaks or after hours.

13. “I’m bored.”

Instead of complaining about your empty to-do list, look around for ways you can help others lighten their workload. If you’re ready for more responsibility, let your boss know you want to tackle additional challenges and name specific things you’d like to learn.

14. “You’re wrong.”

At some point in your working relationship, your superior will be wrong. When that happens, point it out diplomatically, using words like, “I might be mistaken, but I thought…” instead of bluntly insulting your boss. If you correct your boss the right way, they may end up respecting and trusting you more.

15. “I quit.”

No matter how hard things get, never utter those two words in the heat of the moment. Always resign with two-weeks’ notice and only after you have a plan for replacing your income. More than that, look for a job or a team of people that won’t leave you on the edge of quitting so easily.

Communication is essential to career success. When you’re trying to impress your boss, it’s important to know the right words to use. Even a small, offhand statement could send the wrong message, damaging your career for years. Remember, if you’re not sure whether what you’re about to say may be received well, give it a second thought. You may just need to rephrase it, or keep your mouth shut.

Entrepreneur.com | September 20, 2016 | John Boitnott

#Leadership : How to Get the Best from your Employees without Burning them Out…What is it that Drives Employees to Lose Faith in their Employers, Lose Motivation in their Careers, and Drives them Away from your Company and to Another?

August 18, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We all want to maximize productivity within our businesses, large or small, yet the techniques of the past are rarely sufficient for a modern workforce. More and more, I’m finding that the personal touch goes a long way toward employee productivity, as well as morale and retention.

What is it that drives employees to lose faith in their employers, lose motivation in their careers, and drives them away from your company and to another?

I find that it’s often a combination of bureaucracy and stress. To minimize both, you need to identify what it is that your employees reject, and figure out a way to fix the issue.

1. Minimize the red tape

One of the most frustrating walls an employee encounters is requiring permission to do their job, time and time again.

Yes, there are security reasons for some measures. But often, old policies from petty managers trying to hoard power have led to “the way things have always been done” inertia, which keeps bad rules in place.

Just like in marketing with conversion rates, minimizing the number of obstacles between employee and desired outcome will increase productivity.

2. Be liberal with non-financial benefits

I completely understand that many businesses operate on tight margins. Your best employees deserve raises and bonuses, but when the budget doesn’t allow it, you have to do something.

Why not offer a bit more paid time off or allow the occasional work-from-home day? Sometimes it can be as simple as setting up a room for the occasional sanctioned, on-the-job nap.

Personally, I’d much rather have an employee feel safe nodding off for half an hour than having them doze at their computer getting barely anything done for half their shift.

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3. Ditch the performance review

Or, rather, make sure they’re relevant if you have one. Performance reviews are a source of stress even for good employees — check out impostor syndrome — and they’re often just filed away and never referenced again.

Unless your reviews are both accurate and used regularly, they’re probably doing more harm than good.

Frankly, I think official performance reviews are an antiquated relic from the ghost of management past. If you’re paying attention and have a working relationship with your employees, you’ll be able to tell how they’re performing.

More importantly, if you’re open and they can come to you with problems they face, you can help stave off the issues that drive down their morale. Half of the reason for a negative performance review is toiling under strict conditions that limit an employee’s ability to work in the first place.

4. Establish a way to report and address problems

Part of this comes from fostering a culture of gentle management. I’m not saying you need to make friends with all of your employees, but you should be approachable and attentive when they have something to say.

If the problem is a business system, consider why it’s causing an obstacle to productivity and look into alternatives. If it’s not something you can change, at least consult with the employee about why that’s the case.

One circumstance that may come up is when an employee is the problem. Sometimes a new hire just isn’t working out, and their coworkers are better positioned to see it than you.

You don’t need to set up an anonymous tip line for bad behavior, but you can accept employee advice when a developer tells you the new guy is consistently breaking things and barely doing their job.

5. Trust your employees to do what they do best

Ideally, you will avoid the above situation by hiring a competent, intelligent team. The number-one thing you can do is stay out of their way and let them do their thing. Eliminating red tape and bureaucracy is one part of it, but another is being more of a facilitator than a dictator.

Provide guidance and advice. Establish goals and plans. Don’t micromanage their hours and set unrealistic deadlines. If they need more resources, help them obtain them or explain why the restrictions exist. Keep them in the loop and aware of what’s going on in the bigger picture, so they know what they’re working toward.

The ideal situation is one of trust, awareness, and facilitation. The days where management is a harsh gatekeeper of information and resources are gone. We live in a world where your best employees will be more than happy to jump ship unless you give them a reason to stick with you.

Sometimes, yes, that’s going to be money, and yes, you’re going to lose some good employees when your budgets are tight. You’d be surprised, however, just how many good people are willing to stick around when you simply have a pleasant place to work.

James Parsons is a content marketing influencer, entrepreneur, and writer. He writes for large publishers including Entrepreneur, Inc., and The Huffington Post. You can reach contact him on his website or on his Twitter profile.

Businessinsider.com | August 18, 2016 | James Parsons

#Leadership : 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before you Start Dating a Coworker… Since about One-Third of Human Life is Spent Working, it’s Not Unreasonable that Romances Occur in the Office

May 29, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We’ve all seen, experienced, or thought about office romances. Some say they’re a terrible idea (people might gossip, or things can get awkward at work if the relationship goes sour) — while others believe they make perfect sense (you’re with these people eight hours a day, and you know you have at least one thing in common). But what’s the real deal with interoffice dating?

Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job,” says she hears this question all the time, and shared her thoughts on the topic with Business Insider.

“Modern thinking is that you spend so much time in the office and online that those are the most likely places you will meet Mr. or Ms. Right,” says Taylor. “Occasionally you’ll hear: the gym, supermarket, or Starbucks, because those may be the only other places you even have time to escape to outside the busy office these days.”

But since about one-third of human life is spent working, it’s not unreasonable that romances occur in the office, she adds. “And this is time spent with people we know — theoretically they’re not ax murderers.”

A survey from CareerBuilder revealed that nearly 40% of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker, and almost one-third of office relationships result in marriage.

“Considering that there are some eight billion people on the planet, some question why anyone would choose an office mate for romance, with all the potential gossip, possibility of a job nightmare if things go south, terminations, and maybe even a lawsuit as icing on the cake,” Taylor explains.

But the fact of the matter is: Nobody knows when true love will strike. “It could happen in the break room just as easily as it could at your cousin’s wedding or at the tire store,” Taylor says. “Why put arbitrary parameters on something so important? Certainly there are endless cases of coworkers who have found love in the workplace and moved on to marry and live happily ever after.”

Ultimately, she says, the success of this path will depend on you, your partner, boss, workplace, and many other variables. And it’s up to you to decide whether the pros outweigh the cons — or if you’re better off steering clear of an office romance.

Before you flip the switch, here’s what you need to ask yourself:

1. Is this person in a direct supervisory or subordinate position?

If they are, stay away.

“Problems can result from dating a person in a subordinate or superior position,” says Taylor.

If your boss (who happens to be your partner) takes you to lunch or promotes you, people will claim it’s based on favoritism — not merit. (And it’s also a problem if you deserve to be promoted but your significant other doesn’t offer you the position because they fear people will think it’s an act of favoritism.)

“Also, remember this: If things go sour in your relationship with a subordinate, there may a claim of sexual harassment or hostile work environment,” she explains.

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2. What is the company’s policy on this?

“The variation on corporate practices is so broad that you have employers with lenient policies, strict policies, and no policies, even at Fortune 500-sized companies,” Taylor says.

Some firms make a conscious choice not to incorporate them into their general “sexual harassment” policy. “Policy or no policy, lovehappens. So in the absence of written rules and/or in the interpretation of them, there’s one common barometer: your common sense. That must always prevail.”

3. How closely do I work with this person?

Keeping your distance in another department, floor, or building will help keep things less awkward, messy, and challenging. “And if you are ever in a competitive situation, it takes that element out of the fray, too,” she adds.

4. Can I envision this relationship working?

Nobody can predict the viability of a relationship, but you should take time to envision it.

“Is it completely unrealistic? Do you have a lot in common? It could happen that spending time in a romantic relationship that began at work will bring you closer together because you share a common interest and can be a sounding board for each other. Only you can weigh whether you see more overall upside potential than downside,” Taylor says.

5. Have I considered the consequences?

Could this be a career-limiting move? Would I hate working here if things didn’t work out? Will I ruin relationships with friends in the office?

It’s hard to think about the relationship ending or how it might hurt your career when you’re newly in love and distracted by butterflies. But, it’s important that you carefully think about the pros and cons; the ramifications on your job and reputation, Taylor says.

“If things fall apart, to what extent could your career potentially be jeopardized? How much of your personal life could be the ‘keynote topic’ at the water cooler? Could your real thoughts about the new CEO get back to her just in time for your next review? Imagine that that one of you decides to move on — what would it be like to see that person every day?”

If these potential consequences make you feel uneasy or worried about your professional future, you probably shouldn’t pursue the relationship.

6. Am I prepared to disclose the details of my relationship to my employer?

Some employee handbooks require you to describe the nature of your relationship in writing. Specifically, you could be asked whether there’s a conflict of interest with an employee (even independent contractors, clients, and vendors), Taylor explains.

“The employer’s goal is full transparency, your consent, and protection for employees and others from future allegations,” she says. “You may be warned verbally, or in a handbook or both, that anything interfering with work getting done can result in termination. So this is the fun part.”

7. Can we be discreet?

Only you and your partner know how you’ll handle this romantic adventure, e.g., if you’ll be bubbling over with excitement to the point where it could damage your concentration, distract others, or generally get in the way of your advancement.

“Every situation is different, but what matters is how both of you plan to navigate the tricky waters, and how your respective managers and fellow employees react,” Taylor says.

8. What would happen if they get promoted?

Now the rules change. You could suddenly be dating your supervisor, or just someone in management who has a direct or indirect say in decisions that affect your job, she explains. “Just assume you’ve inherited another layer of risk, with a boss/employee relationship being the worst outcome of all.”

Businessinsider.com | May 29, 2016 | Jacquelyn Smith

#Leadership : What To Do When You Catch A Liar…Research Shows we Can only Spot a Liar 53% of the Time. Learn How to Handle that Tricky Moment When you Catch a Liar in the Act.

May 25, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

It’s a hard fact to accept, but your friends and coworkers lie to you regularly. The real challenge lies in how you respond once you catch someone in the act.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

Even though most people lie a lot–roughly two to three times during a ten-minute conversation, studies show–you don’t catch them nearly as often as you might think. Researchers from the University of California analyzed the results of 253 studies and found that we only spot about half the lies we’re told (53% to be exact). In other words, we’re about as likely to identify a lie as we are to win a coin toss.

The scary thing is that people who are trained in detecting deception–judges, customs agents, law enforcement officers, and even CIA agents–don’t fare much better. They can only spot a lie about 60% of the time.

When you do catch someone lying to you, it’s usually a real whopper. These are the kinds of lies that are so insulting to be the recipient that it’s hard to think straight. In these moments, you want to keep the conversation constructive, without letting the liar off the hook, which is a difficult thing to pull off.

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And what about the times when you have a nagging sense that you’re being lied to but aren’t certain and don’t want to come across as paranoid or accusatory? While too much skepticism is never healthy, a small dose can be a very good thing, especially since we’re so poor at recognizing lies.

The question always becomes, what do you do with a lie? If you think someone is lying to you, do you call them on it? Do you tell someone else? Or do you just go along to get along?

There are actually several things you can do, and the right one, or the right combination, depends on the situation.

First, make certain you understand the rules. Before you decide what course of action to take, check the employee handbook and consider the recent history of similar situations. If you’re going to call someone out, you need to know what you’re getting yourself and the liar into. Know the severity of the consequences for lying, and make certain you follow proper protocol for addressing it, or the entire thing could backfire on you.

Option #1: Do nothing.

Nobody likes being lied to, and the natural reaction is to call the liar out, but that’s not always the smartest thing to do, especially at work. Before you do anything, ask yourself, ‘What’s at stake besides my ego?’ Carefully weigh the pros and cons before you take action. Consider who, if anyone, should know about the lie and the implications it has for the company. Sometimes, the animosity you avoid by staying silent is worth more than the satisfaction you receive from speaking out. Other times, the lie is serious enough that people have to know.

Option #2: Deflect with humor.

Some lies are too big to ignore completely, yet too small to make a big deal out of. When this happens, you can always make a joke of it. Playful comments that acknowledge the lie will usually do the trick. Whether it’s “Hey, I think I just saw your nose grow a little bit” or “I need to get my prescription checked. When I looked at the scorecard, it said you shot 112,” this strategy gives the liar a chance to admit their slip-up without fear of reprisal. The key to making this tactic work is to give the impression that the other person was kidding around or intentionally exaggerating and never expected to be believed.

Option #3: Play dumb.

Another way to let someone save face–and this is particularly appropriate for group settings–is to play dumb. Pretend you suddenly suffered a memory lapse or are confused about the facts. Ask lots of follow-up questions. The more details you request, the more likely it is that the truth will come out. Drawing it out gives the liar a chance to admit that they “misspoke” and correct themselves without being called a liar.

Option #4: Call them on it.

In situations where doing nothing isn’t a good option, you can always call the liar out. You just need to think carefully about the best way to do this, and impulsively bashing them is never a smart move. You may choose to have a conversation with the liar in private or with others whom the lie affects. In either case, it’s important you have evidence that backs up your claim, or you very well may be called a liar yourself. Just make certain you are honest and direct with the person who lied. Don’t go to others with the lie when you know it’s better handled privately between you and the liar.

There are many times when reporting a lie is the right thing to do, both ethically and practically. Sometimes, not reporting a lie can cost you your job. However, there are a few things you need to think about before you take that step. First, question your motives. Are you thinking of telling someone about the lie out of concern that either another employee or the company could be harmed, or are you just mad? If it’s the latter, you run the risk of making yourself look petty; if it’s the former, stick to the facts. Don’t offer any hypotheses about why the person may be lying because that’s just supposition on your part. Stick to what the person said, what the truth is, and any proof you have collected.

Not optional: Protect yourself. Whether you decide to call a lie or to let it go, once you know you’re dealing with a liar, it’s critical to take steps to protect yourself. One way to do that is to have a witness attest to what the liar said. Failing this, interact with the liar via email or text, both of which create a written record. Though if you’re dealing with a particularly savvy liar, they’re not going to commit to anything in writing. In that case, document the conversation yourself: who, what, when, where, etc., and cap it off by sending your lying colleague an e-mail summarizing the conversation. That’s not as good as having proof in the other person’s words, but at least you’ll be able to make the argument that your colleague had the opportunity to correct you.

Bringing It All Together

Some people tell infrequent lies to make themselves look good or to protect themselves. Others are pros. They’ve been doing it their whole careers, they’re good at it, and they’ve learned how to avoid getting caught. That’s why there’s no single solution that works in every situation. The best thing to do is to carefully consider your options, thinking through the pros and cons of each course of action.

How do you handle liars? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

PUBLISHED ON: MAY 25, 2016

Inc.com |

BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY

Author, ‘Emotional Intelligence 2.0’@talentsmarteq

#Leadership : 4 Warning Signs You Have A Toxic Company Culture…Make a Point of Practicing Early Detection, Because If you Protect your Culture, you’ll Protect your Future.

March 16, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

When I took my first job leading a large team, I was sure I knew how to spot a toxic culture. And I was sure that I didn’t have it in my team. I was wrong.

We had issues (many of them were my fault). It wasn’t long until I was a young leader with a toxic staff situation. If you’ve found yourself in that situation, know that you’re not alone.

Just like our bodies, most teams don’t stay healthy without a disciplined effort. I have come to believe that teams will drift toward some level of unhealth unless their leaders are watching vigilantly for the warning signs.

Now that I’ve helped several hundred clients build their teams, I’ve come to recognize there are several early warning signs to toxicity. And just like our physical health, early detection can be the difference maker between staying healthy and becoming terminal.

Here are four early warning signs to look for, and what you can do to fix them.

Sign #1: Rapid Growth Is Killing Your Culture

Believe it or not growth can be the root of toxicity. Growth is great. It’s fun. It’s the goal of all entrepreneurs. But when growth hits breakneck speed, culture is almost always at risk.

Just ask the folks at Zenefits, the three year old Silicon Valley startup that had a $4.5 billion valuation last year. A recent Forbes article outlined the CEO’s troubles that led to his resignation, and a Vanity Fair article outlined some of the cultural mishaps that have made a bad problem even worse.

David Sacks, the company’s new C.E.O. said, “It is no secret that Zenefits grew too fast, stretching both our culture and our controls.” A memo that was sent to the Zenefits staff banning use of the stairwells for smoking, drinking, eating, or inappropriate physical interactions in the stairwell were just a few of the major red flags that their culture was toxic. Many are speculating that the loss of their culture may end up being the death knell of a company with a great idea.

Are you in growth mode?

Take an inventory and make sure your culture can keep pace with your rate of growth. Double down your efforts to guard culture, even if it means slowing down a bit. Assign someone on staff the job of auditing how well your cultural values are being lived out. Growth is an addictive drug. But just as good culture is a Petri dish for growth, rapid growth can be the casket for culture.

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Sign #2: Nobody Talks About Problems

If nobody on your team is vocalizing the issues they see, or suggesting ways of improvement, one of two things is probably happening.

Either you’ve created the most successful company in the history of business and you know everything, or people don’t feel valued enough to think their opinions matter.

Transparency and the ability to raise issues is a hallmark of good culture and a smart team.

At Google GOOGL +0.06%, transparency is a cornerstone of the culture. As Lazlo Bock, head of People at Google, said in a recent interview, “The benefit of [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][transparency] is not just that people feel trusted…The other benefit is they’ll know what’s going on. They’ll make better decisions and they’ll create better products.”

When people feel that they can speak up appropriately without a fear of retribution, they feel valued. The culture goes from a toxic one to an innovative and energetic one. Giving your staff a platform to voice their thoughts lets them know that their ideas matter, which in turn leads to them innovating and creating better ways of doing things.

What vehicles are in place in your company that allow team members to bring up concerns and be transparent? How could you improve awareness of those vehicles to the whole team?

Sign #3: Everybody Talks About Problems

While you want to give people a place to feel heard and valued, the number one toxin I see kill culture is gossip. A workplace full of complaining, negativity, and back talk is a workplace that will have high turnover and low productivity.

The solution?

Declare war on gossip.

My friend and client Dave Ramsey has a “zero tolerance” policy at his office about gossip. They simply do not tolerate it. Does this mean that nobody can bring up concerns? Not at all. He and his team have a motto: “Negatives go up; positives come down.” That means when there are problems, people are encouraged to take that problem “up” to their superiors instead of gossiping with colleagues.

When there is positive feedback, team members are strongly encouraged to send those “down” to team member under them on the org chart. It makes the staff feel valued, keeps the leadership informed of potential issues, and creates a sense of unity for the team. Most of all, it provides solutions to problems. Sideways complaining and blame shifting not only spreads ill will, it leaves problems festering with no real solution.

Do you have a clear policy on how complaints and concerns should be handled? How can you reiterate that among your team?

Sign #4: The System Becomes More Important Than the Mission

Many well meaning leaders hire, fire, strategize, and conduct business in a way that puts old systems ahead of their mission.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard something along the lines of “that’s the way it’s always been done,” as a reason for leaders making the decisions they do.

There’s certainly a place for sticking to the things that have been successful in the past, but doing things out of habit instead of mission will suck the life from your team and create a toxic culture.

People are rallied to vision and work hard for a mission they believe in. They want to be part of a company that stands by values, but isn’t a slave to systems that block achieving goals. The key to striking that balance is having a litmus test that can be used to decide whether to follow the system or not.

Ed Young is a pastor and friend who has a great test. He says, “Every church is a non-profit, but it has a profit. And that profit is life change.”

If a decision that will affect great life change means circumventing a system, they go for it. But if there isn’t enough potential life change to warrant breaking the system, they go forward with their proven processes.

What litmus test could you implement to tell people when to follow a system and when to ignore it?

I’ve seen these warning signs take root in really great teams over the years. The teams that address them early are able to make change and charge ahead. Those who don’t, suffer the consequences.

Make a point of practicing early detection, because if you protect your culture, you’ll protect your future.

Forbes.com | March 16, 2016 | William Vanderbloemen

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

#Leadership : 10 Ways To Spot A Truly Exceptional Employee…Take Notice of what’s Not Mentioned: Coding Skills, Years of Experience, Business Degrees, etc. These Things Matter, But they Won’t Make you Exceptional.

February 9, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

A recent international study surveyed more than 500 business leaders and asked them what sets great employees apart. The researchers wanted to know why some people are more successful than others at work, and the answers were surprising; leaders chose “personality” as the leading reason.

Notably, 78% of leaders said personality sets great employees apart, more than cultural fit (53%) and even an employee’s skills (39%).

“We should take care not to make the intellect our God; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.” –Albert Einstein

The problem is, when leaders say ‘personality’ they don’t understand what they’re referring to. Personality consists of a stable set of preferences and tendencies through which we approach the world. Being introverted or extroverted is an example of an important personality trait.

Personality traits form at an early age and are fixed by early adulthood. Many important things about you change over the course of your lifetime, but your personality isn’t one of them.

Personality is distinct from intellect (or IQ). The two don’t occur together in any meaningful way. Personality is also distinct from emotional intelligence (or EQ), and this is where the study, and most leaders for that matter, have misinterpreted the term.

talent

The qualities that leaders in the study called personality were actually emotional intelligence skills. And unlike your personality, which is set in stone, you can change and improve your EQ.

Exceptional employees don’t possess God-given personality traits; they rely on simple, everyday EQ skills that anyone can incorporate into their repertoire.

Leaders don’t need to go searching for these skills either (though it doesn’t hurt when you find them); their duty is to help everyone on their team harness these skills to become exceptional.

Just consider some of the EQ skills that leaders and managers commonly mislabel as personality characteristics. These are the skills that set exceptional employees apart.

They’re willing to delay gratification. One thing an exceptional employee never says is, “That’s not in my job description.” Exceptional employees work outside the boundaries of job descriptions. They’re neither intimidated nor entitled; instead of expecting recognition or compensation to come first, they forge ahead in their work, confident that they’ll be rewarded later but unconcerned if they’re not.

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They can tolerate conflict. While exceptional employees don’t seek conflict, they don’t run away from it either. They’re able to maintain their composure while presenting their positions calmly and logically. They’re able to withstand personal attacks in pursuit of the greater goal and never use that tactic themselves.

They focus. Student pilots are often told, “When things start going wrong, don’t forget to fly the plane.” Plane crashes have resulted from pilots concentrating so hard on identifying the problem that they flew the plane into the ground. Eastern Airlines Flight 401 is just one example: The flight crew was so concerned about the landing gear being down that they didn’t realize they were losing altitude until it was too late, despite alarms going off in the cockpit. Exceptional employees understand the principle of “Just fly the plane.” They don’t get distracted by cranky customers, interoffice squabbles, or switch to a different brand of coffee. They can differentiate between real problems and background noise; therefore, they stay focused on what matters.

They’re judiciously courageous. Exceptional employees are willing to speak up when others are not, whether it’s to ask a difficult (or “embarrassingly” simple) question or to challenge an executive decision. However, that’s balanced with common sense and timing. They think before they speak and wisely choose the best time and place to do so.

They’re in control of their egos. Exceptional employees have egos. While that’s part of what drives them, they never give their egos more weight than what is deserved. They’re willing to admit when they’re wrong and willing to do things someone else’s way, whether it’s because the other way is better or it’s important to maintain team harmony.

They’re never satisfied. Exceptional employees have unparalleled convictions that things can always be better—and they’re right. No one is ever done growing, and there is no such thing as “good enough” when it comes to personal improvement. No matter how well things are going, exceptional employees are driven to improve, without forgetting to give themselves a healthy pat on the back.

They recognize when things are broken and fix them. Whether it’s a sticky desk drawer or an inefficient, wasteful process affecting the cash flow of the entire department, exceptional employees don’t walk past problems. “Oh, it’s been that way forever,” simply isn’t in their vocabulary. They see problems as issues to be fixed immediately; it’s that simple.

They’re accountable. If you’re a manager trying to decipher a bungled report, “It’s not my fault” is the most irritating phrase in the English language. Exceptional employees are accountable. They own their work, their decisions, and all of their results—good or bad. They bring their mistakes to management’s attention rather than hoping no one will find out. They understand that managers aren’t out to assign blame; they’re out to get things done.

They’re marketable. “Marketable” can mean many things. Inside the organization, it means “likeable.” Exceptional employees are well liked by co-workers. They have integrity and leadership skills (even if they’re not in an official leadership position) that people respond to. Externally, it means they can be trusted to represent the brand well. Managers know they can send these employees out to meet with clients and prospects without worrying about what they’ll say or do.

They neutralize toxic people. Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. Exceptional employees control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

Bringing It All Together

Take notice of what’s not mentioned: coding skills, years of experience, business degrees, etc. These things matter, but they won’t make you exceptional.

What other qualities make people exceptional? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Forbes.com | February 9, 2016 | Travis Bradberry

#Leadership : How to Transform Habitual Negativity at Work…Here are some Simple Strategies to Transform Negativity at Work, Which can Slow Down Productivity & Sabotage Results.

January 21, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

I wish I had a penny for every leader or manager I worked with who accepted some form of negativity at work, simply because it had become familiar. Like a persistent background noise, often negativity is tolerated until the impact becomes too hard to ignore. This might be when someone complains, or results are massively affected, or a customer notices and gives you feedback.

Negativity at work does impact results. This study by Michigan State University found productivity was directly affected, as “negative-minded workers are more likely to become mentally fatigued and defensive and experience a drop-off in production”.

I was called in to work with a business which was missing shipping deadlines, customer complaints were escalating and arguments at work leading to discipline interviews were becoming the norm. Things had become untenable and the CEO was at a loss as to how to stop this downward spiral into negativity. The business was expanding internationally and they had come to a point where they knew they were heading towards a big fail because of the internal problems.

What I found out from the CEO was negativity had almost always been the cultural norm, but it had not been a big problem until recently. Like a rolling snowball, the negativity had grown and accelerated until it could no longer be ignored.

Examples of negativity at work

The worst extremes of negativity at work like bullying and harassment usually come to light fairly quickly. Research shows other poor behaviors, outlined below, cause almost as much distress to fellow workers as bullying, but they are often not viewed as seriously:

Claiming credit for someone else’s work;
Setting out to make a member of staff appear incompetent and/or make their lives miserable through persistent criticism;
Deliberately withholding information/providing incorrect information; and
Isolating/deliberately ignoring/excluding someone from activities.

The behaviors I encountered in the example I mentioned above were far more subtle, frequently seen in the workplace and most tolerated. These showed up as:

Blaming each other and overreacting when things went wrong
Defensiveness, with a refusal to learn from mistakes
Gossiping
Jumping to negative conclusions and being negative about each other
Black and white thinking
Focusing on problems, without striving for solutions
Juggling for status
Cultivating a bleak and depressing outlook for the business
Blaming management
Agreeing to actions in a meeting, only to come out and complain

When you see these actions in the workplace, many managers feel their hands are tied as often the work still appears to be getting done, negativity is seen as human nature or managers don’t have the tools to help make positive changes.

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How to link negativity to poor performance

When negative behaviors are more serious, it’s relatively easy to link with misconduct and dignity at work type policies. When the negative behaviors are subtle, it’s more difficult.

Some leaders and managers don’t think they are able to link such negative behaviors with poor performance. Performance criteria are often based on results, competencies or skills and so it’s difficult to quantify the impact of subtle negativity on performance in any meaningful way.

The way to link these subtle negative behaviors to performance is to assess the impact they have in terms of:

Productivity – How much time is wasted complaining, blocking a solution-orientated approach or resulting disputes
Cost – How much does it cost to bicker, moan and de-motivate people with a stream of negativity?
Motivation – What is the impact of negativity on employee motivation and effort?

How to transform negativity

Raising awareness and set standards is a must as well as an ability to transform negativity to more positive thinking and behaviors. Here are 6 ways to you can make the switch.

1. By identifying the negative behaviors, you don’t want to see, you can describe positive behaviors you do want and incorporate these behaviors in your value statement or behavioral competencies.

2. Set positive standards for the whole team, resisting the urge to identify individuals at this stage.

3. Leaders model the behaviors you want to see; it starts at the top.

4. Teach people how to get what they want in a constructive way, for example, show them effective ways of voicing views which engage rather than disengage.

5. Empower people to have their say by asking them to offer solutions.

6. Develop a “no blame” culture, using errors and mistakes as opportunities to learn.

Pivoting subtle negativity isn’t always easy, but there are ways you can channel the energy to be a positive force if you have an intention for positive change.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

PUBLISHED ON: JAN 21, 2016

Inc.com |

BY CHRISTINA LATTIMER

Founder, People Development Network@pdiscoveryuk