#EmotionalIntelligence Archives - First Sun Consulting, LLC | Outplacement Services and Career Transition Firm

Unless you lack basic social skills, it’s hard to imagine getting in trouble for expressing positive feelings at work. Sharing enthusiasm and encouragement is usually beneficial to everyone around you. It’s the feelings on the other end of the spectrum that most of us struggle with. We’ve all gotten frustrated or overwhelmed at work.

Maybe someone less qualified gets a promotion you worked hard to earn. Or a coworker takes credit for something you did. The slackers on your team land a major project opportunity, despite the countless hours you spent working on the proposal. Or worse, the idea you submit gets rejected and criticized. These situations will make even the most even-tempered people feel angry, frustrated, disappointed, resentful, and afraid. But it’s not the situations themselves that make or break us, it’s how we respond to them. And that just takes practice. Here are five emotionally intelligent habits that can help you keep your cool.

1. WAIT TO REACT

Obviously, it’s not that easy. We feel before we think. But even a couple seconds’ buffer can make a huge difference. If you can practice giving yourself just a short moment to think about your reaction, you can gain a lot more control over what happens next. We all know people whose angry outburst has cost them their goodwill, promotions, and career opportunities, and have generally held them back in life.

Feeling a strong emotion of any kind should send you a cue: I need a second to think. If you have to remove yourself from a situation temporarily, do it. The crucial first step is simply noticing those negative feelings early enough to decide not to react just yet.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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2. NAME THE FEELING

This is the logical next step. Being able to name how you’re feeling takes away some of the power our most unpleasant emotions have over us. Describing a feeling gives you some distance from it, allowing you more clarity. And chances are you can assign a name to the experience you’re having more quickly than you can choose the right response to it.

3. SHARE HOW YOU FEEL WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BE OBJECTIVE

The worst thing to do is commiserate with others who hold the same grievances you do–the colleagues who will share in and urge you to hold onto your negativity. Misery loves company. While indulging in it may feel good at the time, it isn’t productive and will keep you stuck in a vicious cycle. The more emotionally intelligent approach is to find someone who’s a great listener and removed enough from the situation to offer an unbiased objective point of view. This is usually someone who has no stake in the circumstances one way or another. When explaining what happened, try to share only the data, not your opinions or feelings.

4. REFLECT ON THE SITUATION LIKE AN OUTSIDE OBSERVER

Try to look at the situation from someone on the outside looking in. Make an honest attempt to try and see things from the perspective of everyone involved. Suspend judgment if you can, and come up with as many possible explanations for what occurred as you can think of–no matter how unlikely they might seem.

This exercise is difficult, but it can help you identify alternative explanations for the situation that’s made you so upset. The tough question is, “What was my part in this–both the positive and the negative?” There may be valuable learnings in this, but at the very least, this habit gives you some time to cool off and redirect your frustration somewhere else.

5. IMAGINE IT’S ONE YEAR LATER

Ask yourself how much this will matter to you one year, five years, or 10 years from now. Consider your long-term goals and plans and think about how this all fits in with where you want to be in the future. Is this really a battle worth fighting, or will it serve you better in the long run to let it go and move on? What will be the likely outcomes of the choices you make from this point on, and how will they help or hinder you?

Feeling upset may seem like something that happens to you–an onrush of negative emotions that you can’t control. But by practicing these techniques, you may begin to see that you still have a choice: You can’t prevent yourself from feeling aggravated, but you can often control what you do about it.

FastCompany.com | May 4, 2018 | BY HARVEY DEUTSCHENDORF 3 MINUTE READ

LinkedIn is a great place to network and look for jobs, but a lot of people’s profiles feel stiff and standoffish–at least compared with other social media platforms. We talk all the time about the rising value of emotional intelligence in the workforce, and there’s lots of advice on how to show it off on a job interview.

But that doesn’t often carry over to LinkedIn, which often just presents a litany of information about people’s accomplishments: what they’ve done, which jobs they’ve worked, the schools they’ve attended. It’s hard to get a sense of who they are. Ideally, your LinkedIn account should be just as good at making interpersonal connections as you are in real life. Here’s how to get that to happen.

TWO WAYS TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF

Some of the challenge here is LinkedIn’s format. The easiest things to add to your profile are straightforward data like your employment and education history. Sections like your “Headline” and “Summary” are harder to fill in, because it’s not always clear what you’re supposed to say about yourself.

It’s true that you’ll want to use keywords so recruiters and hiring managers can find you, but it’s also crucial to simply appear personable. And to do that, it helps to understand some of the psychology around how people define themselves. Researchers on self-concept have found that we typically use two distinct modes, called “self-construals.”

An “independent self-construal” involves defining your sense of self in terms of the qualities you possess without reference to other people. If you describe yourself as smart, a hard worker, or someone who gets things done, then you’re focusing on independent properties–the stuff that has to do with just you. With an “interdependent self-construal,” on the other hand, you define yourself according to the qualities that do refer to others. If your self-concept prominently includes your role as a parent, then you’re prioritizing your relationship with your kids. If you describe yourself as a mentor, then your sense of self arises from your experiences interacting with them.

If you look at many LinkedIn profiles (my own included), some will be heavier on independent self-construals than interdependent ones, and vice versa. One isn’t necessarily “better” than the other in every context; some cultures (both within a given organization and across entire societies) lean more individualist than collectivist, so what flies in one environment may weigh you down in another. And in a more in individualistic culture, researchers have found that people are more prone to independent self-construals. Generally speaking, though, if you describe yourself in more interdependent terms, then other people will likely feel more welcomed by you.

It’s pretty intuitive, really: If you include your reader in part of the self-construal you present on LinkedIn, they’ll have a better chance of seeing how they can relate to you.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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REVERSE-ENGINEERING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LINKEDIN PROFILE

How do you actually put this into practice? Work backwards.

For decades, psychologists have used the so-called “Twenty Statements Test,” one of a few leading instruments to assessing people’s self-concepts. It’s extremely simple: The test requires you to come up with 20 different answers to the question, “Who am I?” Instead of answering this question generally, though, answer it for your work-self–that is, “Who am I at work?”

Chances are many of the descriptions you come up with for yourself are independent, but you’ll probably also hit upon a few that are interdependent as well. Now go back through your list and see if there are ways of turning some of the independent descriptors you used into interdependent ones: How does this skill or attribute you possess help or relate to that other person?

This exercise can leave you with a richer, more conversational means of describing yourself than just listing out the job skills associated with emotional intelligence. As you rewrite your headline, summary, and other sections on LinkedIn, hang onto that interdependent mind-set. It’ll make you seem more approachable and worth connecting with.

FastCompany.com | March 19, 2018 | BY ART MARKMAN 3 MINUTE READ

Posts

#Leadership : 5 #EmotionallyIntelligent Habits For Handling Work Frustrations…It’s All About What you Do in the Moment–and Don’t Do.

1. WAIT TO REACT

2. NAME THE FEELING

3. SHARE HOW YOU FEEL WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BE OBJECTIVE

4. REFLECT ON THE SITUATION LIKE AN OUTSIDE OBSERVER

5. IMAGINE IT’S ONE YEAR LATER

Your #Career : Do This To Write A More #EmotionallyIntelligent #LinkedInProfile ….Don’t just List Out Skills Associated with Emotional Intelligence. Here’s How to Adapt a Technique from Psychology to appear More Approachable on LinkedIn.

TWO WAYS TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF

REVERSE-ENGINEERING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LINKEDIN PROFILE

Tag Archive for: #EmotionalIntelligence

Posts

1. WAIT TO REACT

2. NAME THE FEELING

3. SHARE HOW YOU FEEL WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BE OBJECTIVE

4. REFLECT ON THE SITUATION LIKE AN OUTSIDE OBSERVER

5. IMAGINE IT’S ONE YEAR LATER

TWO WAYS TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF

REVERSE-ENGINEERING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LINKEDIN PROFILE