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#CareerAdvice : #CareerDirection – How to use #EmotionalIntelligence to Find a Job that’s Right for You.

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“Good job fit” is one of those overused phrases that has lost some of its meaning. What is it? What happens when the job you thought was your dream job, or the job that would catapult you to great success makes you feel anxious, out of step, scrambling to keep your balance?

When we talk about good job fit, we overlook the thing that is most important, And to get to that stage, we can’t take shortcuts–we have to deploy a kind of emotional intelligence that I call EQ Fitness.

THE THREE STEPS TO EQ FITNESS

There are three steps to EQ Fitness: (1) the willingness to become self-aware (2) the openness to build trust, and the steadiness to lead, and live, guided by inner principles. Step one is the most crucial, because it’s the foundation on which you build the next two steps.

I see examples of those who get it right, and those who don’t in a lot of the keynotes and consulting I do. In many cities today, start-up accelerators and incubators offer stipends and grants to enterprising young adults, who, in turn, grow their business there. One evening, after I gave remarks at an event in Detroit, a young woman, no more than twenty-two years old, raised her hand and asked me, “I’m really good at new ideas and working to get them off the ground,” she said. “But I’m not great at process. How do I get to be a complete CEO?”

My knee-jerk reaction was to say, who’d want to be in charge of process? Get someone else to do that! After all, I was just like her–I’ve hated process my whole career. But I took a mindful moment and instead offered encouragement and praise for her self-awareness. I then explained that we generally fall into categories of builder-entrepreneur or process-systems person. Our job in developing ourselves is first to identify which one we are, then to work on improving the other skill-sets–especially if we want a leadership position, because great leaders need both.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

Before you identify which label best fits you, start with a simple question: What makes you smile after you’ve done it? Use that as a gauge of possibilities. It could be taking your eye for detail and becoming an architect or city planner. It could be using your curiosity about people’s lives and becoming a journalist or joining a human resources department.

Consider, too, the kind of role that you want to play in an organization. I have a talented friend Angela, who has chosen not to manage people. That decision was born from self-awareness. Another friend, Babs, works at an enormous aerospace company, and she describes how her boss will walk toward her cube with a certain look every year or so. She knows what’s coming. The boss is looking for someone to fill a newly vacant management position. Babs said she and her colleagues all put their heads down, pretending to be engrossed in some project. None of them want to manage anyone.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT PATH

My HGTV boss, Ken Lowe, and I were working side by side as CEO and COO. He got a corporate nod to take over the parent company, E.W. Scripps, and wanted to know if I wanted his job as CEO. I slept on it and surprised him by telling him no. But the answer didn’t surprise me. I knew myself well enough to know that his job wouldn’t be a good fit. Being CEO is all-consuming, with a responsibility to shareholders and employees alike. I needed some work-life balance for myself and my family, and I knew I had to stop at number two–even if it meant diminished opportunities at HGTV or another company in the future.

Fully Human: 3 Steps to Grow Your Emotional Fitness in Work, Leadership, and Life by Susan Packard

Some people might see this choice as limiting, but for me, it opened up other opportunities and interests that were more important to explore. By staying on as the COO, I was able to grow a variety of business areas at Scripps Networks Interactive (the home of HGTV) and had the time and bandwidth to train and prep for the New York City Marathon.

To determine whether or not you’re on the right path, you need to figure out the following: where your natural strengths lie, what interests and stimulates you, and what kind of company culture allows you to thrive. It’s also essential for you to realize that you need to make decisions that will enable you to live your ideal life, not someone else’s version of it.

Throughout our working lives, we’ll come to many crossroads, as our professional identities unfold and unpredictable opportunities arise. It takes courage and integrity to absorb the big picture when it comes to job fit. Emotionally fit people see job fit in its broadest sense because it means taking ownership and accountability over choosing wisely, and taking into account where your heart is guiding you. This means going beyond considering what you can do, to what you love to do, so that “can do” doesn’t become a life sentence.

This article is adapted from Fully Human: 3 Steps To Grow Your Emotional Fitness In Work, Leadership, and Life. It is reprinted with permission from TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2019 by Susan Packard.

 

FastCompany.com | February 6, 2019 | BY SUSAN PACKARD 

4 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : The #EmotionallyIntelligent way to Give #Feedback to your #Boss …Here’s an Approach to Raising Concerns with #Managers that won’t Feel Risky to You or Whiny to Them.

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No matter how much you like your boss or manager, there will always be some things about them (or the system) that you’d like to change. But speaking up about a problem or giving feedback to your superiors can feel awkward, to say the least. You don’t want to risk offending the people who hold your future in their hands.

As it turns out, sharing some constructive criticism with your boss is a lot easier with a little emotional intelligence. Here are a few tips and pointers to help you do it tactfully.

FIRST, SHORE UP YOUR REPUTATION

Different things bother different people, and in differing degrees. If you look at your colleagues, chances are you can distinguish the stoics and the whiners. The stoics come to work without complaint every day, no matter what’s going on. That doesn’t mean they aren’t bothered by things happening around them, they just keep it to themselves. The whiners, however, let everyone know when something bugs them, from small annoyances to major problems. And make no mistake: Your boss knows who those whiners are, too, even if she never passes along their complaints to her own higher-ups.

Obviously, you’ll be most effective at giving upward feedback if you have a reputation for complaining only about the big things that really matter. This way, when you do go to the boss with a problem or request, it will carry more weight; your boss knows it takes a lot to get you to say something. And if you think you might be a whiner, try writing down your complaints in a notebook without talking about them to other people at the office. This way you can still get them out of your head, but in a way that doesn’t risk your reputation.

 

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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SCHEDULE A SEPARATE MEETING TO RAISE THE ISSUE

Your boss probably hears fewer complaints than you might think. Most people want to make a positive impression on their superiors. No matter how much they might complain among their own coworkers, few people actually take those complaints upward. (Then they’re puzzled about why things don’t change.) But as long as you’re respectful, chances are you’ll be sharing useful information that your boss might not know about otherwise.

The way you decide to bring it up depends on what you know about your boss, of course. Not every boss is equally amenable to feedback, and those who don’t take criticism well tend to earn reputations as prickly managers. In addition to tuning into these subtleties, you should also try to raise your issue in a meeting where there aren’t other pressing items on the agenda. Better yet, consider scheduling a short one-on-one just for this purpose. That way you won’t be tempted to delay sharing your feedback until the very end of some other meeting, when there won’t be enough time to provide details.

Friends of mine who are therapists have told me that clients often bring up the most important thing in the last couple minutes of a session. It can take people a long time to work up the courage to say what they really want to. By scheduling a quick meeting just to talk about your concern, you can’t hide it in the middle of lots of other information.

BE AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE

If you’re going to point out something that you think needs to change, talk about the problem as specifically as you can. If the issue has to do with a certain incident or event, focus on exactly what happened and who was involved. Stick to the facts, including how the event affected you–both your reaction and any consequences on your ability to get your work done–but avoid speculating about others’ motives or intentions.

The reason to be specific is that the alternative is you trying to diagnose what went wrong–which you shouldn’t do. There are two problems with stating why you think the problem arose rather than simply what it consists of: First, you likely have only partial knowledge about why things are done the way they are around the office. As a result, you may be missing key parts of the context when you give your explanation The more emotionally intelligent approach is simply to leave room for your boss’s judgment and perspective in determining the underlying causes of whatever issue you’re raising.

Second, some of your diagnoses rely on assumptions about what drives other people’s behaviors. There’s no surer way to get someone on the defensive than to ascribe a motive that they don’t recognize in themselves.

Take these three tips to heart and chances are you’ll stop feeling so anxious about raising important concerns with your boss–who might even start to rely on your helpful feedback, and even intentionally solicit it.

 

FastCompany.com | July 10, 2018

Your #Career : Do This To Write A More #EmotionallyIntelligent #LinkedInProfile ….Don’t just List Out Skills Associated with Emotional Intelligence. Here’s How to Adapt a Technique from Psychology to appear More Approachable on LinkedIn.

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LinkedIn is a great place to network and look for jobs, but a lot of people’s profiles feel stiff and standoffish–at least compared with other social media platforms. We talk all the time about the rising value of emotional intelligence in the workforce, and there’s lots of advice on how to show it off on a job interview.

But that doesn’t often carry over to LinkedIn, which often just presents a litany of information about people’s accomplishments: what they’ve done, which jobs they’ve worked, the schools they’ve attended. It’s hard to get a sense of who they are. Ideally, your LinkedIn account should be just as good at making interpersonal connections as you are in real life. Here’s how to get that to happen.

Related: This LinkedIn Recruiter’s Tips For Showcasing Soft Skills On Job Interviews

TWO WAYS TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF

Some of the challenge here is LinkedIn’s format. The easiest things to add to your profile are straightforward data like your employment and education history. Sections like your “Headline” and “Summary” are harder to fill in, because it’s not always clear what you’re supposed to say about yourself.

It’s true that you’ll want to use keywords so recruiters and hiring managers can find you, but it’s also crucial to simply appear personable. And to do that, it helps to understand some of the psychology around how people define themselves. Researchers on self-concept have found that we typically use two distinct modes, called “self-construals.”

An “independent self-construal” involves defining your sense of self in terms of the qualities you possess without reference to other people. If you describe yourself as smart, a hard worker, or someone who gets things done, then you’re focusing on independent properties–the stuff that has to do with just you. With an “interdependent self-construal,” on the other hand, you define yourself according to the qualities that do refer to others. If your self-concept prominently includes your role as a parent, then you’re prioritizing your relationship with your kids. If you describe yourself as a mentor, then your sense of self arises from your experiences interacting with them.

If you look at many LinkedIn profiles (my own included), some will be heavier on independent self-construals than interdependent ones, and vice versa. One isn’t necessarily “better” than the other in every context; some cultures (both within a given organization and across entire societies) lean more individualist than collectivist, so what flies in one environment may weigh you down in another. And in a more in individualistic culture, researchers have found that people are more prone to independent self-construals. Generally speaking, though, if you describe yourself in more interdependent terms, then other people will likely feel more welcomed by you.

It’s pretty intuitive, really: If you include your reader in part of the self-construal you present on LinkedIn, they’ll have a better chance of seeing how they can relate to you.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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REVERSE-ENGINEERING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LINKEDIN PROFILE

How do you actually put this into practice? Work backwards.

For decades, psychologists have used the so-called “Twenty Statements Test,” one of a few leading instruments to assessing people’s self-concepts. It’s extremely simple: The test requires you to come up with 20 different answers to the question, “Who am I?” Instead of answering this question generally, though, answer it for your work-self–that is, “Who am I at work?”

Chances are many of the descriptions you come up with for yourself are independent, but you’ll probably also hit upon a few that are interdependent as well. Now go back through your list and see if there are ways of turning some of the independent descriptors you used into interdependent ones: How does this skill or attribute you possess help or relate to that other person?

This exercise can leave you with a richer, more conversational means of describing yourself than just listing out the job skills associated with emotional intelligence. As you rewrite your headline, summary, and other sections on LinkedIn, hang onto that interdependent mind-set. It’ll make you seem more approachable and worth connecting with.

 

 

FastCompany.com | March 19, 2018 | BY ART MARKMAN 3 MINUTE READ