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#Leadership : How I Learned To Worry Productively ….You’re Not Going to Stop Worrying, So you Might as Well Learn How to Make it Work for You.

We’re in a golden age of tracking: We track our steps, our sleep, our time on Facebook, and other sites we deem “productivity killers” (looking at you, Instagram). But one thing we still don’t track or think about much: the amount of time we spend worrying.

It makes sense–it’s not like a wrist tracker or Google Chrome extension could measure or sense the time we spend worrying about the future. But if we had something that could track our worry time? I know I’d probably end each day with the 10,000-step equivalent.

Congrats, you worried for a solid 3 hours total today!

We spend a lot of time worrying. A 2017 survey of 2,000 millennials showed that the average respondent spent the equivalent of 63 full days a year worried and stressed out. That’s like June and July–all lost to worry.

There are many reasons why we worry, but one of the main reasons is simply because we can. Unlike all other animals on the planet, we have the power to look into the future–with all its uncertainty and fuzziness–and reflect. And that stirs up the worry machine as we try to figure out what’s going to happen and how we’ll react.

Related:This Simple Task Can Help Curb Your Constant Worrying


It can feel productive, and studies show that we often believe worrying helps prevent negative outcomes or helps us find a better way of doing things.

But here’s the thing: Most of what we worry about never happens. A study from the University of Cincinnati showed that 85% of what we worry about never actually happens. And the 15% of things that do happen? The study showed we’re typically able to handle it better than expected or it teaches us an important lesson, according to the Huffington Post.

This paradox of worry–so all-consuming yet unproductive–is summed up best by Mark Twain, who famously said: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

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EASE THE WORRY

So, let’s all just stop worrying, okay?

Just kidding–I know firsthand it’s not that easy. I’ve been told to just “stop worrying” for years and, well, it just doesn’t happen like that. And reaching inbox zero with our worries is actually impossible. We’re wired to have some level of worry to protect ourselves–it’s why we look both ways before crossing the streets.

But the constant worrying about things that haven’t happened or things that aren’t even on the menu for the near future? We can take steps to curb overthinking.


Related:Four Techniques To Stop Worrying So Much


Through trial and error, many late-night Google searches of “how to actually stop worrying,” and talking to other worry-inclined people, I’ve found a few techniques that help me ease worry and cut back on those 63 full days of dread.

Before we get into tips, it’s important to recognize that “worry” and “anxiety” are close friends but very different psychological states. Psychology Today offers a great breakdown of the differences. If you feel overwhelmed by your worries or in anxiety territory, it might be time to seek help from a professional. As someone who worries and has anxiety, I can’t recommend therapy enough.

But now, some tips for the casual worry wart:

TURN YOUR “WHAT IF” INTO “I CAN”

Even if we know most of our worries won’t come to fruition, it still can feel hard to let go of our “what if” scenarios. What can help: Refocusing from the “what if” to the “I can.” By that, I mean “I can problem solve” or “I can handle it.”

Dwelling on issues isn’t productive–but problem solving is. “Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid a future problem,” Amy Morin, LCSW, a psychotherapist, explains in Psychology Today. “Ask yourself what you can do about it.”

But some slippery worries don’t come with a solution–they’re so far in the future, we can’t even take steps in the now. In those cases, it’s helpful to release a little control and focus on, “I can handle it.”

It’s a method that works for Joymarie Parker, 30, the cohost of the Joblogues podcast and a self-proclaimed worrier. Parker says when she switches from trying to control the future to trusting she can handle whatever comes, it helps her redirect her thoughts.

“When you can release the need for things to happen one way and accept however they happen, you’ll thrive and you’ll survive in that,” Parker says. “I like to think, ‘This can go really well or not so well, but I’m okay with both of those outcomes.’ And a lot of times when we worry, it turns out to be nothing or it was manageable. Whatever happens, we always come out of it on the other side.”


Related:3 Tips To Help You Worry Less And Get Back To Work 


SET A TIME TO WORRY

Setting a designated time to worry can help you cut back on overthinking and recognize how much time you give those might-happen-but-probably-won’t-but-here’s-what-I’d-do-if-it-did thoughts. It’s a great way to ease into cutting back on worrying without forcing yourself to go cold turkey.

“Stewing on problems for long periods of time isn’t productive, but brief reflection can be helpful,” Morin explains.

Morin recommends setting aside 20 minutes of “thinking time” each day. “During this time, let yourself worry, ruminate, or mull over whatever you want,” she writes. “Then, when the time is up, move onto something more productive.”

I’ve found having a confined time to worry makes me prioritize my worries. It helps me weed out the highly irrational (What if I broke my leg tomorrow?) and focus on the worries that I can act on (What if I don’t finish that project by tomorrow?).

A set time to think also helps me stay “worry-lite” throughout the rest of the day. If a worry pops up outside of my scheduled time, I swipe it aside like a bad push notification and tell myself to “revisit during thinking time.” And when I do get to my thinking time? Half the time I find myself forgetting what nagged at me earlier in the day–another cue it wasn’t important to begin with.

CALL YOUR WORRIES OUT

Like I said earlier, we tend to love tracking our habits and finding ways to optimize our time. But worrying essentially goes against that goal to get more done in less time. Reminding myself of how unproductive it is to worry actually helps me calm it down.

As much as it can feel like worry is motivating me, or it shows that I care about something, I know 99% of the time it’s stopping me from actually living my life. When a worry pops up, I like to challenge it with a “Is this useful?” It helps me connect back to the present me–the “me” who actually has things to do and people to see–and it helps me dismiss the worries that don’t serve me.

I’ve accepted that I’ll never “stop worrying”–I’m a proud worry wart for life. But like my FitBit shows me how much time I spend sitting, noticing my worries helps me see the time I lose to irrational “what ifs.” Now, I’m starting to reclaim that time.


This piece originally appeared on Shine and is reprinted with permission. Shine Text is a free, daily motivational text service. To sign up, text “SHINE” to 759-85 or go to www.shinetext.com to learn more.

 

 

FastCompany.com | March 20, 2018 | BY HALEY GOLDBERG—SHINE 6 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : How To Prepare For The Worst Without Being A Pessimist…Everyone Faces Tough Times & Personal Emergencies. You Can’t Prepare for Everything, But you Can Take some Positive Steps to Withstand Them.

Regardless of how committed you are to your career, eventually the unthinkable happens. From serious illness to the death of a loved one to a natural disaster, into each upwardly mobile professional’s life some personal emergency will fall.

And while it’s impossible to be fully prepared for these potentially life-changing events, a little planning can go a long way in weathering them successfully.

“Nobody plans for illness. Nobody plans for a tree falling on their house. Nobody plans for this stuff, and I think that it’s important that first and foremost you just take the time [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][to do so],” says Alexa Fischer, actor, confidence coach, and entrepreneur. She urges professionals to stop avoiding the process and begin preparing.

Here are six steps that will get you started.

THINK IT THROUGH

It can be difficult to contemplate negative or traumatic events, but mentally “walking through” a situation that would put you out of work for an extended period of time can help you identify what you would need to weather that storm, says Scott Amyx, chair and managing partner at Amyx Ventures, a San Francisco-based venture fund, and author of Strive: How Doing the Things Most Uncomfortable Leads to Success. What would you need if you were going through an illness, personal tragedy, or disaster? Think about what you would need personally and professionally. What help would you need for yourself and your team to emerge from the situation in the best way possible? Make a list of the areas you’d need to address or where you would need support, he says.


Related:How To Help A Coworker Who Is Going Through A Crisis

“The best thing that you can do is make sure that there is a support structure, but ultimately support comes in different forms. It could be people in your personal or professional life, but also could be faith-based,” he says.

 

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CREATE A COUNCIL

Once you have a sense of the areas where you’ll need help, begin to build those networks, Amyx advises. “One of the wisest pieces of advice that I ever received is having a ‘council of 12.’ This can apply professionally but also personally. Who in your life can you count on when something happens? Do you have that 12 or so people around you that can help get you through tough times?” he says.

Sometimes, your “council” members will provide advice, coaching, or counseling. Certain members may provide practical help such as meal deliveries, or personal friends who will stop by your home to help out. Building such a support system can be invaluable when an unwelcome event occurs, he says.

SYSTEMATIZE

Suddenly being away from your job for a period of time can be additionally stressful if you’re worried about work, and whether your team members will be able to manage without you. “The best thing we can do for ourselves is to create systems around us so that other people can do the work when we can’t,” Fischer says. “If your work or your gatekeeping is so precious that you have to be there—nobody else can do it for you, or access it for you—that is a liability to your company, but it’s also a huge stresser. So things like organizing passwords, organizing work flow, that organizational piece is actually freedom for you.”

She says that some people fear creating such systems, sharing information, and cross-training colleagues because they worry it makes them easier to replace. But that worry is usually baseless for valued employees, which most companies work hard to keep. And having such systems in place has benefits, too. “It also makes for great vacations, because it doesn’t have to be a terrible emergency. The same systems can be used so that you can actually get away,” she says.

BUILD GOODWILL

Investing time in building strong work relationships and having a reputation for being reliable and an active contributor to the organization is also important for getting through personal emergencies. “If you make yourself an invaluable part of your business community, so that your unique contributions are seen as unique, if you’re really engaged, if you’re looking for innovative ways to add value to the company, there’s a much greater chance that when and if something happens, the company is going to continue to give you what time you need, because they want you back. You’re valuable to them,” says business leadership coach Cheri Torres, coauthor of Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement.


Related: Secrets Of The Most Resilient People


On a more personal level, when you reach out to help colleagues and others in your network when they need you, you invest in that goodwill bank, she says. The beneficiaries of your kindness and help are likely to give back as well, and to pick up slack when you can’t do so.

WEAVE YOUR OWN SAFETY NET

A 2017 report from the Federal Reserve found that 44% of Americans have so little savings that they couldn’t cover an unexpected $400 emergency expense. Beyond preparing through systems and building relationships, it’s also important to prepare financially to the best possible extent, says Amyx, who was once a financial planner.

Saving a nest egg, investing in insurance to protect your assets and income, and a creating a comprehensive financial plan can give you more flexibility and help you bounce back from difficult times. Such tools may include disability, renters, or homeowners insurance and a line of credit that can help you cover unexpected expenses in a pinch. More companies are making financial counseling and planning advice available to their employees, so check with your HR department to see what might be available to you.

You should also know your employer policies and benefits, as well as your employment rights under state, federal, and local law, Torres advises. Be sure you know the leave and other benefits to which you are entitled, both for company policy and the laws that govern your company.

KNOW HOW YOU STAY GROUNDED

In the throes of a personal emergency, it can be difficult to think clearly and not get caught up in the emotion surrounding the event, Fischer says. Take care of yourself as much as possible during times like these and find ways to alleviate stress and calm your inner critic.

“In my own evolution, [I’ve learned] just to recognize the critic, but then find that calmer voice that is going to look toward something that is more positive that we’re going to work on,” she says. So, whether it’s taking long walks, making art, or simply spending time with family and friends, find the activities that help you remain calm and centered so you can make the best decisions in difficult situations, she says.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gwen Moran writes about business, money and assorted other topics for leading publications and web sites. She was named a Small Business Influencer Awards Top 100 Champion in 2015, 2014, and 2012 and is the co-author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Business Plans (Alpha, 2010), and several other books.

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FastCompany.com | March 14, 2018 | Gwen Moran

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Your #Career : How To Stay #Motivated When Your Company Is Going Through A #Crisis …It can be Hard to Stay Positive when you’re an #Employee in a Struggling Company. However, there are Things you Can Do to Create #Motivation When Things are Difficult at Work.

Motivation isn’t a switch that you can turn on or off. At work you’ve probably found that motivation comes pretty easily when the company is doing well, and your efforts are rewarded. When a company is in trouble, however, it’s not always that easy. You might be expected to take on additional responsibilities and pull extra hours, but without the recognition and compensation that you would have received when the company wasn’t in crisis mode.

 

Many workers today accept that job security is not as prevalent as it once was. Allison Gabriel Rossetti, an assistant professor of management/organization and psychology at the University of Arizona, says that when it comes to jobs,”There’s definitely been a lot more volatility.” When a company experiences volatility, it can bring a sense of uncertainty among its employees. “We know from a job-stress perspective that ambiguity and stress is going to hinder an employee’s well-being,” Gabriel Rossetti adds.

There are steps you can take to maintain your motivation. With the right attitude, you might just be able to turn the worry into a career-growing opportunity.


Related:This Is The Link Between Employee’s Motivation And Their Manager’s Mental State 


 LOOK FOR MORE WAYS TO CONTRIBUTE

When you’re worried about the security of your job, taking on any extra work might be the last thing you want to do. But Gabriel Rossetti says that offering help when you smell trouble in the company is a great way to increase your motivation. She suggests telling your manager that you’re sensing some problematic signals, and that you’d love to help out in any way to move the company forward. By doing this, you’re focusing on solutions rather than ruminating on the problems. And when you feel like you’re making progress, even incrementally, motivation is easy to come by, as Jane Porter wrote in a 2016 Fast Company article.

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INTRINSIC, RATHER THAN EXTRINSIC VALUES

Motivation comes from wanting something. During tough times, it can be difficult to rely on extrinsic motivation like snagging that title change, or a bonus or raise that you might not receive this year. Intrinsic motivation, however, is easier to tap into. When your “why” for your work is more than just your paycheck, you can derive happiness in doing the work itself. In Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys To Energizing Your Work and Life, author Tom Rath cited a research that discovered West Point cadets who enrolled due to intrinsic motivation (i.e., desire to serve) were more likely to graduate, become commissioned officers, receive promotions, and stay in the military than those who enrolled to get better jobs and make more money. Gabriel Rossetti suggests asking yourself the following questions: “I entered this job and company for a reason. What were the values I saw here? What are some things I do in this role that reflects those values?”


Related:Bosses: Keep Up With Your Employees’ Progressive Values, Or They’ll Leave


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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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FIND AN ACTIVITY OUTSIDE OF WORK THAT GIVES YOU MEANING

If the crisis has forced you to take on activities you care very little about, but life circumstances dictate that you need to stay in your company, find an activity outside of work that can give you intrinsic meaning. This way, you’re not coming to work deprived of that fulfillment and into an environment where everyone is on edge. And as Jared Lindzon previously reported for Fast Company, certain hobbies like improv can even train you to thrive in uncertainty.

FOCUS ON ONE SMALL SUCCESS A DAY

When it seems like a company’s situation presents a barrier to your long-term career, it’s easy to focus on the things that you’re not accomplishing. But chances are, you’re probably still experiencing small successes every day, but you’re not seeing them as a “win” because you’re too focused on the “bigger” task of navigating the company crisis. Completing a project is a win, and so is making that difficult phone call when you really didn’t feel like making it. As Vivian Giang previously reported for Fast Company, “Small wins matter big. It’s that tinge of excitement that helps us move forward during that long, uphill battle. Small wins signal to our brain that progress is happening, and big results are just around the corner.” Now that’s motivation.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Anisa is the Editorial Assistant for Fast Company’s Leadership section. She covers everything from personal development, entrepreneurship and the future of work.

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FastCompany.com | 03.09.18  | BY ANISA PURBASARI HORTON 3 MINUTE READ