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#Strategy : A Wharton Professor Shares 3 Science-Backed Strategies for Raising Highly Creative Kids…If you Want to Raise Creative Kids, you Need to Teach them to Think for Themselves.

To do this, Adam Grant, a professor of management at Wharton, author of the new book, “Originals,” and father of three, tells Business Insider, you need “to foster an identify that ‘I’m somebody who doesn’t conform,’ that ‘I’m somebody who doesn’t follow the crowd.'”

Free- Locks

According to Grant, parents of highly-creative children think differently about how they approach raising their kids in three important ways:

1. They praise the child, not the act.

When Grant’s daughter creates a piece of art, instead of saying, “Wow, that’s a really creative drawing,” Grant would tell her, “Wow, you are a really creative person.” This helps her develop a sense of self as a creative person with unique ideas, he says.

“It’s so tempting to reinforce the behavior, when in fact what we need to do is help children see that that behavior is a core part of who they are, so that when they grow up they don’t lose creativity,” Grant explains.

This idea of directing praise to the child rather than the act comes from research that found children were much more generous after their character had been praised than after their actions had been. “When our character is praised, we internalize it as part of our identities,” Grant writes in his book.

 

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2. They don’t set a ton of rules.

Grant points to research out of Boston College that compared the families of highly original children with those with ordinary ability and found that the parents of ordinary children had an average of six rules — like when it’s time for bed or homework — while parents of highly creative children had an average of less than one rule.

“If you want your kids to follow rules, then it’s much more likely that, when it comes time to solve a problem, he or she looks to how it’s been solved before — what are the conventional ways to doing it— as opposed to saying, ‘Well, how can I approach this? What other solutions haven’t been come up with before?'” Grant tells Business Insider.

This isn’t to say there should be no rules. “There have to be some boundaries in order to get children to think creatively.”

3. They reason with their kids.

Grant says that when researchers studied “one of the most daring acts of nonconformity that we’ve seen in the past century” — individuals who rescued victims of the Holocaust — they found one key difference between those who stood by and did nothing and those who put their lives on the line: Holocaust rescuers’ parents used reasoning as a disciplinary tactic more often than others.

Explanations can do a few important things, based on the research cited in Grant’s book.

Another study of American architects found that parents of the most creative architects disciplined their kids by outlining their standards of conduct and explaining their reasoning behind these principles — and encouraging their kids to come up with their own values.

And, as with the study of Holocaust rescuers, researchers found discussions that encourage kids to consider the impact of their actions on others activate a desire to right wrongs and do better.

“When you help children think about the consequences of their action for others, they’re much more likely to channel their originality in moral and creative directions, as opposed to saying, ‘I’m going to break a bunch of rules,’ or ‘I’m going to do something that perhaps would harm a few people,'” Grant explains.

SEE ALSO: 9 scientific ways having a child influences your success

 

Businessinsider.com | February 10, 2016 | 

#Leadership : 8 Powerful Ways To Mold Your Children Into Leaders…As Parents & Caretakers of Children, their Path to Leadership is in Our Hands.

The Road to Success is Paved with Failure. When you try to Shield your Children from Failure in Order to Boost their Self-Esteem, they have Trouble Tolerating the Failure Required to Succeed as a Leader.

Mother

We all want our children to become leaders.  Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or the corner office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they ever thought possible.

As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.

We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.

It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t being a parent a massive responsibility?  The beauty of building children into leaders is that it’s the little things we do every day that mold them into the people they’ll become.

Focus on The 8 Actions Below, and you’ll build leadership in your children and yourself.

1- Model Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence is that “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible; it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behavior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions and how you react and respond to their emotions.

EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58% of a leader’s job performance. Likewise, 90% of top-performing leaders have high EQs.

Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.

 

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2- Don’t Obsess About Achievement

Parents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will make their children into high-achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.

Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they can’t do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player who’s handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news—they assume it’s all about the individual. It’s a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.

3- Don’t Praise Too Much

Children need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesn’t give them extra self-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence. Always show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.

4- Allow Them To Experience Risk And Failure

Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they don’t allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you aren’t allowed to fail, you don’t understand risk. A leader can’t take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.

The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Don’t rub their face in it either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to know that you know how much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experience and to know that they’ll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building for future leaders.

5- Say No

Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience. They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but they’ll get over that. They’ll never get over being spoiled.

6- Let Children Solve Their Own Problems

There’s a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When you’re the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their children’s problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. They’re responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.

7- Walk Your Talk

Authentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if it’s something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.

8- Show You’re Human

No matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, you’re still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that they’ll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you don’t show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that they’re the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.

To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to aren’t infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward to be better people. Children can’t do this when they’re overcome by guilt. They need someone—a real, vulnerable person—to teach them how to process mistakes and to learn from them. When you show them how you’ve done this in the past, you’re doing just that.

Bringing It All Together

We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.

How are you molding your children into leaders? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Mother

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | Travis Bradberry