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#Leadership : 14 Signs your Employees Secretly Hate You…If you’ve Been Labeled a “Bad Boss,” you’ll Probably Be the Last to Know.

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“Your staff will be very adept at making it a well-kept secret because they will do everything to keep their job security intact,” says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.”

Free- Bench on a Lonely Beach

“But if you decide to boost your emotional-intelligence radar and look for subtle signs that your team may be unhappy, you’ll uncover a wealth of actionable feedback.”

Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage,” agrees that it’s important to know how your employees feel about you. When they don’t like you, there are consequences, he says. For instance, they’ll be less happy and more stressed (which affects things like their productivity and creativity); they may quit on you (which will cost you and your company time and money); they may give you bad reviews or complain to HR (which puts your job in jeopardy); and you’ll have trouble earning their respect, being viewed as credible, and getting them to listen to your opinions.

“Your goal as a manager is not to be liked by everyone; if it is, you won’t be making the best decisions for the company,” says Taylor. “But if you’re an insensitive manager, no amount of intelligence or business skills will ever take you far in your own career advancement. You will always need a strong team and following to thrive in your career.”

So to avoid having to deal with those consequences, among many others, you’ll need to recognize the signs and make changes to your behavior, attitude, and approach to leading.

Here are 14 subtle signs your employees may secretly hate you:

 

You’ve got a (bad) gut feeling.

You've got a (bad) gut feeling.

Soon/flickr

“The very first sign that things are going awry in your relationships with employees is a general gnawing feeling that you can’t put your finger on,” Taylor says. “No manager can be liked by everyone, but there are far too many bosses who are not respected by enough of their staff.” If you’ve got that gut feeling something is off, be aware and start looking for other signs.

 

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They can’t maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

They can't maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

Bradley Gordon

It’s difficult for an employee who is angry to look you straight in the eye, says Taylor. “They’re afraid that you may be able to detect hostility, so the path of least resistance is for them to look away or avoid being around you wherever possible.”

 

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

Andy Morales/flickr

If you notice they take the stairs every time you’re waiting for the elevator, or they manage their schedules in such a way that they rarely overlap with your primary work hours, that’s a good sign they’re avoiding you. And employees typically only avoid people who intimidate them or who they don’t like, says Kerr.

 

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

Flickr/Laura Taylor

Having an employee who goes on “stress leave” or constantly calls in sick could be a sign that they are not comfortable working under your direction, Kerr explains.

“Your employee(s) may not be showing up at work as often, may come to work late, leave early, or are just seemingly never at their desks, because of long, needed breaks,” adds Taylor. “Leaving the scene can take many forms — and it’s a common way that your staff copes with stress. A bad boss-employee relationship is a leading cause of stress and illness,” she says.

 

They don’t smile around you.

They don't smile around you.

Flickr / Leo Hidalgo

We’re not talking about the occasional bad day or mood swing. If one or more of your employees seem to look miserable every time they’re around you — but you’ve seen them smiling while talking to others in the office — something isn’t right.

“It’s difficult for any employee to put on a happy face when they’re talking to someone they [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][dislike],” says Taylor.

 

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

Daniel Goodman / Business Insider

Not smiling when they’re around you is one thing — but clamming up when you step into the office kitchen or conference room is a pretty strong sign that your employees reallydon’t like you and don’t consider you part of their inner circle, Kerr says.

 

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

Flickr/sunshinecity

You may not be the reason for this (so many things affect one’s level of motivation or enthusiasm at work) — but you could be.

“If their level of enthusiasm has waned, and you’re not seeing your staff jump at the opportunity to help out on new or existing projects anymore, it may be a sign you’re disliked,” says Taylor.

 

They never invite you to social events.

They never invite you to social events.

Flickr / beyrouth

If your employees don’t include you in any after-work social events or happy hours, it very well may be because they don’t want to spend any more time with you than they absolutely have to.

 

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

Shutterstock

“Your unhappy employees may change the way they communicate with you, such as through email, voicemail, or IM, instead of in-person communications,” Taylor explains. “You may detect less personal contact, so that there is less of an opportunity for potential confrontation.”

 

They’re short with you.

They're short with you.

Vancouver Film School/flickr

If you ask, “How’s it going?” and they always respond with “Ok” or “Fine” — or if their emails to always get straight to the point, and never begin with a friendly “Hello” or “Good afternoon,” this may be a sign they’re not a huge fan of you.

“If your employees are beginning to sound like your moody teenager, then that’s a pretty big red flag,” says Kerr.

 

They give off negative body language.

They give off negative body language.

YouTube

Whether it’s a subtle eye roll or constantly assuming a closed-off position with arms folded across their chest, your employees’ body language will often reveal their true feelings towards you, Kerr says.  

 

Their door is always closed.

Their door is always closed.

A National Acrobat/flickr

“Many employees don’t have the luxury of their own office these days, but if they do, and their door appears closed more often than not, they may be commiserating with friends, family, or even other colleagues,” Taylor says. “They may be seeking advice, or worse, checking out greener pastures.”

 

They constantly disagree with you.

They constantly disagree with you.

Leonid Mamchenkov/flickr

“Not all employees shy away from confronting the personality clashes as they pertain to business, thankfully,” says Taylor. “You may find that your staff seems increasingly more difficult and disagreeable, whereas before you were never questioned. This may be because before, they tolerated a more dictatorial management style — but now they’ve realized that they have nothing to lose by challenging you, in the hopes that they will see changes.”

 

They resign for no good reason.

They resign for no good reason.

YouTube/Marina Shifrin

Scads of surveys indicate that “the boss” still ranks as a top reason for employees leaving a job. If they don’t provide a good excuse or reason for leaving, there’s a good chance it’s you.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 2, 2016 |  

 

 

 

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Your #Career : 5 Signs That You’re Meant to Be a Manager…Do you Feel Destined for the Big Time? Have Middle-Management Written All Over You? Or Perhaps just Want your Underlings to Lovingly Refer to you as Mr. Manager? If so, you Might be Ready for Management, or a Leadership Position in your Company or Organization.

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While we all take the occasional shot at our leaders or managers — just look at the way we discuss our political leaders, or many CEOs and business leaders, for example — it takes considerable effort to make it to the top of a big organization. Often, we only think of our bosses or superiors as incompetent buffoons or narcissists who were born to make our lives a living hell. But it’s important to realize that they’re there for a reason, and in most cases, they’ve worked very hard and demonstrated that they are capable of handling the responsibilities of a management role.

question mark signs painted on a asphalt road surface

Perhaps you feel that you are too? The question is, how can you tell that you’re ready for management or a leadership position?

There are some sure-fire signs: you can do your job with incredible ease, for example. Or, maybe you’ve already assumed a role as a leader, and now want a better title and salary to go along with it? It’s never really a bad time to fight for more recognition and compensation, but you want to be sure you’re ready for more responsibility before gunning for the top.

Here are five signs you’re destined for management.

1. You demonstrate management and leadership skills

As previously mentioned, perhaps you’ve already assumed the role as a natural leader in your company. Your co-workers respect and like you, and you’re able to take charge when things need to get done. You step up and volunteer for tough assignments, and aren’t afraid to engage directly with managers and company leadership. This shows that you’re one of them — and are ready to take the next step up the company ladder.

 

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2. You take ownership

When you start thinking in different terms — as in, “mine” becomes “ours,” for example — it’s a sign that you’re invested in your company or organization, and ready to take the next step. If you actually feel that your success is, in turn, a success for your team or company, then you’re starting to think like a manager. You take responsibility for your co-workers or subordinates and make it your personal mission to make sure they succeed.

3. You crush expectations

This probably should be step number one on the ladder to management: You need to make sure you’re not only accomplishing the tasks that are set out for you (whatever those may be), but that you’re crushing expectations. Whether you’re an account executive or a dishwasher, you should strive to be the best there is, and always look for ways to improve, make your process more efficient, and lift your equals up along with you. Take charge, but start with your immediate responsibilities.

4. You’re proactive

A manager or leader sees problems coming down the pipe before they arrive, and takes the necessary steps to curb the impacts. Being proactive can mean any number of things — be it showing up early to prepare for a big meeting, or trying out new software programs that can help save your team time and money. The point is, you’re starting to think like a chess player: three moves ahead. You see the big picture and are planning well in advance of encroaching problems.

5. You foster respect

We’ve touched on this a couple of times, but one of the most important things a manager or leader can do is to foster respect between employees. That means that you not only respect those who you work with (including those under you), but that they respect you, and listen to and take you seriously. It’s also about finding common ground and making sure your employees respect each other, and are able to accomplish their tasks efficiently.

Find a way to create a respectful work culture, and you’ll be well on your way to the C-suite in no time.

Follow Sam on Facebook and Twitter @SliceOfGinger

CheatSheet.com | May 18, 2016 | Sam Elliott

#Leadership : How To Deliver Bad News To Your Boss…It May Seem Like there’s No Good Way to Deliver Bad News To the Boss. But When you Deliver Bad News in a Way that Increases the Boss’s Feeling of Confidence in Your Competence

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Sometimes the boss might say, “What happened?” But there are plenty times when it doesn’t matter what went wrong.

Free- Pull Tab on Can

 

It may seem like there’s no good way to deliver bad news to the boss. But when you deliver bad news in a way that increases the boss’s feeling of confidence in your competence to handle the bad news and that gives the boss a sense of control, you can actually deepen your working relationship with the boss.

How do we do this?

Number one is offering a little bit of control. This is as easy as walking into the boss’s office and saying, “Is now a good time to talk?” Let the boss decide. It may not be the right moment; maybe the boss is in the midst of prepping for the big board meeting.

Step two is sharing that there’s some bad news. All you want to say is, “I have some bad news about the Johnson account.” Don’t downplay the situation by saying, “I have some news that you may not love.” Soft-pedaling bad news is likely to backfire and drive the boss to say, “What do you mean? This is the most horrible thing ever and you’re sitting there like this is not that bad. What are you, nuts?” Downplaying bad news undermines the boss’s confidence in your competence.

And downplaying a troublesome situation is going to be extremely bad if your boss is among the 25% of people who are Analytical Communicators. These folks like hard data, real numbers, and tend to be suspicious of people who aren’t in command of the facts and data, or try to sugarcoat, cover-up, etc. (You can take this free communication styles assessment to assess your particular style and then use that insight to diagnose your boss as well).

 

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Step three is to make sure the boss understands what the heck you’re talking about. So again, we say, “Boss, do you have a few minutes to talk? I’ve got some bad news about the Johnson account. Are you familiar with the work we’re doing on the Johnson account?”

Don’t take it for granted that the Johnson account is forefront in the boss’s mind. Sometimes the organization is too big and the boss doesn’t automatically know every single thing that’s going on. The boss may say, “Yes, I’m familiar with the Johnson account,” or the boss may say, “I don’t know the Johnson account; catch me up?” If it’s the latter, be prepared to give a concise response such as: “We’ve been working on the Johnson proposal for the past six months.” Provide only the necessary context for the bad news you’re about to share.

Approximately 19% of people are Functional Communicators. They like process, detail, timelines and well-thought-out plans. They like to communicate things in a step-by-step fashion so nothing gets missed. And if your boss is one of these folks, they will really appreciate having some background and context so that they feel totally up to speed. (You can dig deeper into these communication styles in my Forbes article “Which Of These 4 Communication Styles Are You?”)

The fourth step is to factually deliver the evidence. About 26% of people are Intuitive Communicators, and they want you to cut right to the chase. They don’t need every single piece of history or emotional musings; they really want to skip right to the end point. So you might say “After working with the Johnson account for a year and a half in what we thought was a very stable relationship, they’ve just called in three other firms to bid on the work that we’re doing with them.”

What you don’t want to say is, “I don’t want you to worry. I think this is going to be okay, but the Johnson account called in three other firms.” What the boss wants is a) the necessary information but also b) enough information to know that you grasp the seriousness of the situation. You don’t want to go in and say the sky is falling, “Oh my, gosh. This is the worst. It’s awful. We’re all going to die because they called in three other firms and just shoot me now!” That’s not fact-based communication. That’s histrionic. We don’t want that, but we also don’t want, “Don’t you worry. It’s going to be fine.” Neither of these approaches will increase the boss’s confidence in your abilities.

Now, once we’ve presented the evidence, we’re going to offer the boss a bit more control. We’re going to ask them, “That’s the situation. I have a few thoughts on some possible solutions. Is that something you would like to hear about right now?” The boss won’t always be looking for your solutions right away. You’ve had time to think this over, but the boss is just hearing about it now and may need some additional time to catch up. If the boss says “yes,” offer your solutions.

Notice that I say “solutions.” One of the single best things you can do is to bring the boss multiple solutions. This provides the boss with some options. The boss may want to wrestle with a couple of different ideas; and giving only one solution pretty much guarantees that they’re going to take your idea, discard it, and go look for their own ideas. This will make you feel irritated and it’s not serving the boss the best either.

Once we present some solutions and a resolution is decided upon, confirm the resolution with the boss. “So we’ve decided that we’re going to do ____ and you want me to handle X, Y and Z parts of this. You’re going to handle A, B and C parts of this. Is that correct?” Just like when you get an assignment, state back with crystal clear accuracy exactly what it is you’re going to be doing to eliminate any chance of misunderstanding. This also helps to build the boss’s confidence.

One final piece to this; you may have noticed that up to now we haven’t given the boss the root cause of what went wrong. There’s a reason for that. You can offer the root cause if you are asked for it. But oftentimes, when you bring bad news, the root cause doesn’t really matter; it doesn’t help solve the problem in the here and now.

Sometimes the boss might say, “What happened?” But there are plenty times when it doesn’t matter what went wrong. If your computer crashed ten minutes before an important presentation, all that matters in those precious moments is finding a way to make that presentation. You can deal with the computer later. There will likely be a time down the road when the boss will ask for the root cause, after the crisis has been averted.

Mark Murphy is a NY Times bestseller, author of Hiring For Attitude, and founder of Leadership IQ.

 

Forbes.com | May 1, 2016 | Mark Murphy

#Leadership : How former Google & Apple Exec Kim Scott is Curing the World of Horrible Bosses…The Surprising Secret to Being a Good Boss? Letting Employees Give Performance Feedback to Bosses, Not Just the Other Way Around. Kim Scott is on a Mission to Rid the World of Terrible Bosses, Particularly the “Nice” Ones.

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Scott, a former Google and Apple exec, has cofounded a new startup with beta software launching next week called Radical Candor, and she’ll soon have a book out of the same name. Radical Candor puts the power in the hands of employees, helping them convert bad bosses to good ones.

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Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? Don't be that guy.

The surprising secret to being a good boss? Letting employees give performance feedback to bosses, not just the other way around.

And the startup is likely to be a big success because Scott is known to Valley insiders as a secret weapon: a CEO coach.

She launched her coaching career about three years ago when Twitter’s then-CEO Dick Costolo, having looked for a coach among “the usual suspects” turned to her, his friend, and said, “I like talking to you about this management stuff more than these people, why don’t you become my coach?” Scott tells Business Insider.

Surprised by the offer, she took him up on it.

Soon she was coaching CEOs like Qualtrics CEO Ryan Smith (who just also asked her to be on Qualtrics board), Dropbox CEO Drew Houston, Shyp CEO Kevin Gibbon, and a number of other startup founders.

Radical Candor is her way of spreading her CEO coaching tricks to every manager.

But Scott’s career has been a wild and crazy ride that no one, least of all Scott, could have predicted would end up here.

 

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Russian investors and a deadly coup

She studied Russian literature in college, moving to Moscow after the Berlin Wall fell, where she got a job turning military factories into commercial ones, from making tanks to making tractors. (We asked her if the work was tied to the CIA, but Scott says it wasn’t.)

The job paid $6 a month, which let her buy one thing: a bag of potatoes. “So I ate potatoes for the first couple of months.”

Fortunately it soon led to a job with a venture investment firm trying to convince investors to join its new Soviet fund. The job paid a real wage but didn’t last long.

“We brought all these pension fund managers over to Russia and we’re driving to our first meeting and there’s this column of tanks coming,” Scott remembers. They had stumbled into the start of the 10-day coup, the failed attempt to oust president Boris Yeltsin.

Her guests remained safe and “they had a great time,” she laughs now.

But the Soviet Union was ultimately dissolved, ending the fund.. The VCs moved on to China.

She wound up working for one of the VC’s brothers at American diamond-cutting company Lazare Kaplan.

“So I wounded up starting up a diamond cutting factory in Moscow,” she says. This was her first management job.

But it was tough to get Russians to quit their safe government jobs to come work for an American at a commercial factory, even though it paid far more than $6 month.

Finally, a few agreed to consider the job if she had a picnic with them.

She learned the first lesson of “radical candor.” They wanted to get to know her better before they left their secure jobs.

“They wanted to know that if all hell broke lose, I could help get them and their families get out of there. They wanted somebody who could help them learn English. They wanted somebody who cared. I was like, ‘Oh! If that’s all it takes to be a boss, I can do that.’”

By the time she left Russia about two years later, “the factory was on a $200 million a year run rate.”

Being a boss “who cares” is a central part of her CEO coaching philosophy.

9/11 and Sheryl Sandberg

She left Russia to get an MBA at Harvard, where Sheryl Sandberg was a classmate. Her professor Richard Tedlow helped her land a job working for the FCC and that led to a job offer at her first startup, called DeltaThree, which did “voice over IP,” sending phone calls over the Internet.

She loved the tech industry but not the job, so she took a year off and wrote a novel instead.

The novel was a love triangle story with an underlying message about how capitalism is good at “rewarding what it can measure but bad at rewarding what people most value,” she says.

No one would publish it. (She self-published on Amazon where you can still buy it. It didn’t sell well.)

So she went to work at a friend’s startup making software for the mortgage industry and soon convinced them to back her idea for a spin-out company, Juice Software, online spreadsheet software for the financial industry.

Juice launched on September 10, 2001.

The very next day came the 9/11 terrorist attacks. New York was in ruins.

“We limped along for a couple of years and then sold, ‘sold’ being a very generous term for what happened,” she says. She was unemployed again.

“All the headhunters in New York saw my resume and scratched their head. You’ve got a failed startup and an unpublished novel, we don’t know what to do with you,” she remembers.

So she called her acquaintance, Sheryl Sandberg, for advice. Sandberg, who was at Google, showed Scott’s resume to then-CEO Eric Schmidt. He told Sandberg that it was “the perfect Google resume,” Scott tells us. “I was like, how could I be a loser in New York and perfect for Google?”

Even though she loved Manhattan, she moved to Silicon Valley to take the job at Google, right before Google went public.

“I knew I was lucky. I didn’t know how lucky,” she says. Most of the employees of that era earned a lot of money on their stock options.

Scott was hired to run AdSense, working for Sandberg. Scott brought to Google some of her favorite employees from Juice, including Jared Smith (who is today cofounder of $1 billion startup Qualtrics).

Together they “increased AdSense North America revenue 10-fold and we decreased headcount by 10%. That was really scaling. We had fun doing it. We built a great culture. They were magical Google years,” she says.

And she realized that her favorite part of the job was the part that most others disliked: the hiring, the managing, cultivating employees, and building a fun working environment.

Apple University comes calling

She wanted to do that for a living and soon she was talking to Professor Tedlow again. He had left Harvard and was working at Apple University training Apple managers.

The goal was to keep Apple’s exceptional culture even as it grew into a huge company and to “defy the gravitational pull of mediocrity” that usually happened as companies grew large.

“So I left Google, went to Apple and designed this class called Managing at Apple, which was ironic because I didn’t really know anything about managing at Apple, I had managed at Google. I did it for about two and a half years and taught it to thousands of managers,” she says.

That class became her testing ground for her “Radical Candor” theories  and one of the cornerstones of Apple’s management style.

She left Apple University to write a book about it, “And this book is getting published.” she says with a nod. “I’ve sold it to St. Martin’s Press.”

She also stumbled into the coaching gig, largely thanks to Twitter’s Costolo.

This all led her to give a 20-minute talk about Radical Candor to a group of startup CEOs at First Round Capital last winter. To her shock, it went viral.

“A huge number of companies contacted me and said, ‘make this our culture,’ and like the early days of AdSense there were too many fish wanting to jump into the boat and I didn’t even have boat.”

So in January, she launched a startup, funded by hot angel investor Micheal Dearling of Harrison Metal, with cofounder Joe Ternasky, former director of engineering at Google “who was my husband’s boss at Google,” Scott says.

The startup will take the ideas in the book and create software so any manager can learn them and easily use them.

Lose the aggression and the repression, please

Radical candor divides managing into two intersecting qualities  “care personally” about your employees (what the Russians wanted) and “Challenge directly” (honest, truthful communication styles made famous by Google and Apple).

screenshot/The Office

When you care personally, and you challenge directly, you are in the sweet zone of “radical candor.” Employees are well supported and the team runs smoothly.

When you don’t care personally, but you are honestly barking out orders, that’s “obnoxious aggression.”

When you don’t care personally and you don’t challenge directly, you are engaged in “manipulative insincerity” the worst boss style of them all “and that’s where politics comes in.”

But there’s another problem that’s far too common: being too nice, or “ruinous empathy.”

This is “responsible for 85% of management mistakes that get made,” Scott says. “That’s the boss who’s afraid of being called a jerk.”

With that boss, employees aren’t getting honest support and can fail right in front of you.

The chart winds up looking like this:

Radical CandorKim Malone Scottmanagement by Radical Candor

 

Scott and Ternasky are building software tools that will allow bosses to ask their employees for anonymous feedback on them with just a few clicks of a mouse. (“How did I do on our last 1:1 meeting? How did I do in the last team meeting?”)

If a boss earns feedback in boxes other than “radical candor,” the manager will then be offered advice from Scott and/or a network of other Radical Candor managers.

The software tools will not be sold to human resources departments — “over my dead body” Scott says — but will remain personal, confidential accounts that bosses can take with them as they move to new jobs, so they can continue to improve as their career progresses.

“People treat each other worse at work than they do in other environments,” Scott says because “feedback is a highly unnatural act.”

With Radical Candor Scott has a plan to make it natural, and painless.

 

Businessinsider.com | May 1, 2016 | 

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#Leadership : 5 Signs Your Leadership Style Is Too Soft…There’s Huge Pressure on Leaders to Keep Employees Engaged & Inspired & to Create Workplaces that are Fun & Fulfilling. But Sometimes these Initiatives Go too Far & Bottom-Line Business Results Suffer.

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There’s huge pressure on leaders to keep employees engaged and inspired and to create workplaces that are fun and fulfilling. But sometimes these initiatives go too far and bottom-line business results suffer. Leaders turn overly soft and are so focused on making people happy that they forget to help employees be productive and efficient.

Free- Focus on Work

There are four fundamental leadership styles: Diplomat, Pragmatist, Idealist and Steward. Leaders can be effective or ineffective within each of these four styles, but one style in particular is at the greatest risk of being too soft—the Diplomat. (There’s a leadership styles assessment to determine your own style.)

Diplomats prize interpersonal harmony. These leaders are kind, social, and giving, and typically build deep personal bonds with their employees. They’re often known for being able to resolve conflicts peacefully (and for avoiding conflicts in the first place). Working for Diplomats has been described as being more fun and social than working for other types of leaders. Diplomats put less emphasis on challenging their employees, focusing instead on putting their people in positions that leverage their strengths so they can reliably achieve success. And traditional measures of employee satisfaction are often very high for Diplomats.

As a leader you don’t ever want to stop focusing on inspiring and engaging your employees. But you do want to ensure that all the deep emotional connections you build with your employees and the level of challenge you create translate into exceptional bottom-line results. Pay attention to the warning signs, be engaging but not too accommodating, and you should achieve great success.

Working for a boss with a Diplomat leadership style can be an amazing experience. (Read more about all the leadership styles in my Forbes article“Which Of These 4 Leadership Styles Are You?”) But if any of the Diplomat characteristics sound similar to your leadership style, you want to make sure you don’t go to extremes. Here are five signs that your leadership style has become too yielding…

1. A 5-Minute Conversation Turns Into 50 Minutes

Imagine you give an employee a highly specific bit of constructive feedback (e.g. “this report is too long, shave off 1,000 words”). It’s the kind of feedback that requires no more of a response than “I got it, I’ll fix it now.” Now imagine that even though the feedback conversation should be done within 5 minutes, you find yourself engaged in a lengthy conversation with the employee about why they fell short, how that makes them feel, and why you’re somehow to blame for their mistakes.

Has that ever happened to you? If the answer is yes, that’s a good sign that you’ve become too appeasing. It’s good to encourage dialogue with your employees and it’s great when they feel comfortable sharing. But when employees believe they can talk themselves out of being criticized or held accountable, that’s a problem.

There are times when an employee just needs to say “I’m sorry. I messed up. I’ll fix it immediately.” That’s not indicative of a dictatorial environment; it’s usually just a sign of an efficient and accountable operation. There are some conversations that should be five minutes and done. So when you regularly feel like five-minute conversations are turning into 50-minute therapy sessions, that’s a strong sign that you’ve moved from approachable to acquiescent.

 

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2. Your Meetings Get Off Topic And Take Too Longg

Have you ever been in one of those meetings where a few of the big personalities just dominate the conversation? They talk louder than everyone else, including you. All you hear are their thoughts, their ideas, their yeas and their nays. The quieter employees feel totally shut out from participating. And even when you try to rein them in, they manage to barge right through and keep dominating.

Ideally meetings are value-adding forums where all invitees participate. Isn’t that why you called all those people into the meeting in the first place? Yet, when we struggle to control the loudmouths, when they don’t respect our authority (formal or otherwise), it’s a sign that we’re not being forceful or commanding enough.

Of course people should talk. Intense conversations can signal a healthy team. But there still needs to be someone in the room with enough power to keep the conversation on track, on time and thoroughly professional.

3. You Regularly Mediate Employee Conflicts (Instead Of Employees Solving Issues Themselves)

It’s troubling when a leader is regularly sucked into employee conflicts. In an ideal world, employees would act like adults and resolve conflicts themselves, reserving the boss-as-mediator for only the most serious issues. But when a leader has become too accommodating, employees quickly figure out that they plead their case to the boss and the boss will intervene on their behalf. It’s actually quite similar to the games that our kids play; whether it’s “ma, he’s looking at me funny” or playing one parent off another.

When the leader has a no-nonsense, ‘suck-it-up’ reputation, these manipulations are rare. But when the leader is seen as overly accommodating or appeasing, these games will be a frequent occurrence.

4. You See The Same Problem Multiple Times

There isn’t an organization on the planet that doesn’t have employees who make mistakes. That’s the price of doing business. But when you see employees making the same mistakes again and again, that’s often a sign that they haven’t gotten the message that they need to improve. And that’s often the result of employees believing that their gentle leader won’t really follow through on enforcing consequences.

I’m not suggesting that leaders move to the opposite extreme, where employees are risk-averse and paralyzed by fear of being fired. That’s every bit as damaging. Rather, the effective leader will find the middle ground of mistakes may be inevitable, but we all must strive to avoid making the same mistake repeatedly. Employees need to know if they don’t take their mistakes seriously, and work diligently and earnestly to improve, the consequences will be more than just a leader’s look of disappointment.

5. Employees Aren’t Learning New Things

One of the biggest leadership tests is: are your people learning new things? Because if they’re not, they’re not growing and developing and it’s a likely sign that your leadership style is too soft.

Making sure that people learn really isn’t that difficult. Once a month ask your people “Hey, what’s something you’re better at now than you were last month?” If they don’t have an answer, follow up with questions such as, “What would you like to get better at this next month?” and “What new skills are you going to have to develop this next year to reach your big goals?”

Give your people HARD Goals that challenge them and push them outside of their comfort zone and let them know that you believe they can do it. What’s interesting to think about is when you ask leaders, “What were the most significant goals you’ve ever achieved in your life, were they easy, or were they hard? The answer is always hard. And yet, those same leaders give employees too easy goals that are achievable and realistic and then wonder where the greatness is.

The best goals are not the ones that sit totally within your comfort zone. The best goals activate the brain and get the most neural activity going in a positive way. These are the goals that are 20 to 30 percent outside of your comfort zone, where you can look back on that goal and say, “Honestly, I wasn’t even totally sure I could pull that off. It was a doozy, but I’ll tell you what, I learned a ton.”

Conclusion

As a leader you don’t ever want to stop focusing on inspiring and engaging your employees. But you do want to ensure that all the deep emotional connections you build with your employees and the level of challenge you create translate into exceptional bottom-line results. Pay attention to the warning signs, be engaging but not too accommodating, and you should achieve great success.

Mark Murphy is a NY Times bestselling author, founder of Leadership IQ, aleadership training speaker and creator of the leadership styles assessment.

 

Forbes.com | February 11, 2016 | Mark Murphy

 

Your #Career : Six Things You Don’t Owe Your Boss..Success & Fulfillment often Depend Upon your Ability to Set Good Boundaries. Once you can Do This, Everything Else Just Falls into Place. What Do you Do to Set Boundaries Around your Work?

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The typical workday is long enough as it is, and technology is making it even longer. When you do finally get home from a full day at the office, your mobile phone rings off the hook, and emails drop into your inbox from people who expect immediate responses.

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While most people claim to disconnect as soon as they get home, recent research says otherwise. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that more than 50% of us check work email before and after work hours, throughout the weekend, and even when we’re sick. Even worse, 44% of us check work email while on vacation.

A Northern Illinois University study that came out this summer shows just how bad this level of connection really is. The study found that the expectation that people need to respond to emails during off-work hours produces a prolonged stress response, which the researchers named telepressure. Telepressure ensures that you are never able to relax and truly disengage from work. This prolonged state of stress is terrible for your health. Besides increasing your risk of heart disease, depression, and obesity, stress decreases your cognitive performance.

We need to establish boundaries between our personal and professional lives. When we don’t, our work, our health, and our personal lives suffer.

Balance between Family and WorkResponding to emails during off-work hours isn’t the only area in which you need to set boundaries. You need to make the critical distinction between what belongs to your employer and what belongs to you and you only. The items that follow are yours. If you don’t set boundaries around them and learn to say no to your boss, you’re giving away something with immeasurable value.

1. Your health. It’s difficult to know when to set boundaries around your health at work because the decline is so gradual. Allowing stress to build up, losing sleep, and sitting all day without exercising all add up. Before you know it, you’re rubbing your aching back with one hand and your zombie-like eyes with the other, and you’re looking down at your newly-acquired belly. The key here is to not let things sneak up on you, and the way you do that is by keeping a consistent routine. Think about what you need to do to keep yourself healthy (taking walks during lunch, not working weekends, taking your vacations as scheduled, etc.), make a plan, and stick to it no matter what. If you don’t, you’re allowing your work to overstep its bounds.

 

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2. Your family. It’s easy to let your family suffer for your work. Many of us do this because we see our jobs as a means of maintaining our families. We have thoughts such as ”I need to make more money so that my kids can go to college debt-free.” Though these thoughts are well-intentioned, they can burden your family with the biggest debt of all—a lack of quality time with you. When you’re on your deathbed, you won’t remember how much money you made for your spouse and kids. You’ll remember the memories you created with them.

3. Your sanity. While we all have our own levels of this to begin with, you don’t owe a shred of it to your employer. A job that takes even a small portion of your sanity is taking more than it’s entitled to. Your sanity is something that’s difficult for your boss to keep track of. You have to monitor it on your own and set good limits to keep yourself healthy. Often, it’s your life outside of work that keeps you sane. When you’ve already put in a good day’s (or week’s) work and your boss wants more, the most productive thing you can do is say no, then go and enjoy your friends and hobbies. This way, you return to work refreshed and de-stressed. You certainly can work extra hours if you want to, but it’s important to be able to say no to your boss when you need time away from work.

4. Your identity. While your work is an important part of your identity, it’s dangerous to allow your work to become your whole identity. You know you’ve allowed this to go too far when you reflect on what’s important to you and work is all that (or most of what) comes to mind. Having an identity outside of work is about more than just having fun. It also helps you relieve stress, grow as a person, and avoid burnout.

5. Your contacts. While you do owe your employer your best effort, you certainly don’t owe him or her the contacts you’ve developed over the course of your career. Your contacts are a product of your hard work and effort, and while you might share them with your company, they belong to you.

6. Your integrity. Sacrificing your integrity causes you to experience massive amounts of stress. Once you realize that your actions and beliefs are no longer in alignment, it’s time to make it clear to your employer that you’re not willing to do things his or her way. If that’s a problem for your boss, it might be time to part ways.

Bringing It All Together

Success and fulfillment often depend upon your ability to set good boundaries. Once you can do this, everything else just falls into place.

 What do you do to set boundaries around your work? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com |  February 2, 2016 | Travis Bradberry

#Leadership : 10 Ways a Terrible Boss Can Still Teach You How to Lead…If you Have a Terrible Boss, Comfort yourself by Considering How Much you’re Learning.

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Terrible bosses are everywhere. They’re no fun to work for, but their lousy leadership does come with a silver lining: valuable “what not to do” lessons on effective leadership.

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Here are 10 of the most important areas where you can learn from your boss’ bad example.

1. Lack of decisiveness.
Atrophy, entropy and lethargy hold back people and organizations. Indecisiveness, foot-dragging, distraction, and disengagement impair productivity. Effective leaders don’t keep people waiting for a decision, they are decisive and strong minded.
2. Lack of vision.
Terrible bosses like to think they’re good enough to wing it. They spend their time on day-to-day operations without ever articulating a vision. Effective leaders understand the power of an inspiring, purposeful vision in getting great work from their teams.

 

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3. Lack of delegation.
We’ve all had at least one control freak boss. They’re everywhere, it seems, and their micromanagement cuts off all the oxygen to productivity. Delegating is an art, and the best leaders are those who give their teams the freedom to innovate and the structure to work together at peak performance.
4. Lack of communication. 
A boss who’s shut up in an office with little communication to the team is missing out on one of the most important elements of leadership. Communication is the key to all relationships. Great leaders take the time to listen, to understand, to ask questions, and to share with people what they need to know.
5. Lack of humility.
Insecure bosses often belittle team members and throw around their power–when things become difficult, they turn to insults and abusive language. Never in the history of the world have these tactics caused anyone to do better work. If anything, they fracture teams and cause good people to leave. Develop stress management skills if you need them, and help others do the same. Learn to find the best in people.
6. Lack of credibility.
Anyone–boss or not–who routinely fails to meet commitments and promises instantly loses credibility and trust. Effective leadership means keeping your word. It’s as simple as that.
7. Lack of resolve.
Terrible bosses often either seek out conflict or are so conflict-averse that they bury their heads in the sand and hope things will go away on their own. Workplace conflict is a fact of life, and the only way to get through it is to resolve it quickly and fairly.
8. Lack of responsibility.
A bad boss’s first response in any bad situation is to begin covering their own tracks and tagging others with the responsibility. Effective leaders know that by admitting their mistakes they demonstrate that messing up is part of trying and failure is part of succeeding.
9. Lack of positivity.
It’s hard to be around negativity all day every day without it getting to you–never mind trying to do anything productive. Encouraging others with positivity and empowerment is the best way to make people feel more appreciated, productive, and motivated.
10. Lack of leadership.
Ultimately, a lack of leadership could be the common factor in all terrible bosses who don’t lead, who don’t set the example, who don’t walk their talk, are bosses who become ineffective and less influential. an effective leader will always lead by example, and walk their talk even when no one is watching.

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The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
PUBLISHED ON: JAN 7, 2016
BY LOLLY DASKAL

President and CEO, Lead From Within

#Leadership : Hate #Meetings? 5 Ways to Stop Them From Being a Waste of Time…The Time you Actually Spend in Meetings Might Depend on How Much your #Boss (or you) Actually Likes Them.

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Meetings are infamously the bane of work life. As far as workplace drudgery goes, they’re right up there withchecking emails and mandatory fire drills. But no matter whether you work for a Fortune 500 company or one that’s just getting started, meetings are a necessary evil in order to run smoothly and have employees on the same page. If Google and Apple are still holding meetings, chances are your company will need to as well.

The time you actually spend in meetings might depend on how much your boss (or you) actually likes them. The Harvard Business Review found that one large company’s executive meeting led to 300,000 hours per year spent supporting it with smaller meetings (the higher-ups met with their divisional employees in order to be preparedfor their weekly executive get-together.) Overall, about 15% of a company’s collective time in spent in a meeting room somewhere. The Wall Street Journal reported that in a sample of 65 CEOs, about 32% of their logged hours were spent in meetings. It’s a small sample, but based on conventional wisdom doesn’t seem far-fetched.

Software creator Atlassian estimates that most employees will have an average of 62 meetings to attend per month, and many people consider at least half of that time to be wasted. While that might seem like a lot, meeting regularly can be a good thing. That’s because if employees are given enough time to have a back-and-forth discussion with the decision-makers, they have the chance to express their opinions on goals or new strategies for the company. “The plan often changes because of the team’s input. And consensus is neither assumed nor achieved with any regularity. In the end, though, everyone feels like they’ve said their bit, and they’re able to back up the decision because of this,” writes Kristine Kern, a consultant for workplace adviser The Table Group.

Whether you’re the executive who’s normally hosting the meetings or if you’re expected to be in charge of one once in a while, there are a few ways to make sure they go off without a hitch, and are actually productive at the same time. Here are five things to keep in mind.

 

1. Start on time

 

Yes, your mother’s wisdom about the importance of punctuality really does have a huge impact on setting the right tone for a meeting, right away. If they enter the meeting thinking about the other things they have to get done, and then you wait an extra 10 minutes until you begin, you’re signaling that their other projects aren’t as important as shooting the breeze waiting for the straggler or two to show up. Starting on time — and letting the latecomers realize they’ve inconvenienced the group — will encourage prompt attendance from everyone, writes BFG Communications founder Kevin Meany.

Old-Fashioned Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe

If meetings are known to start on time, at every level of the company, you have fewer chances to derail other productivity throughout the day. “If you can start on time with the first meeting of the day (and respect the end time) you set a culture where the importance of people’s time is highly valued,” writes Entrepreneur contributorCraig Cincotta.

 Being punctual also helps you to end on time, as long as you’ve been careful to avoid tangents. This is crucial, because once the time slot for the meeting is over, employees will start to mentally check out whether or not you’ve made it through the agenda. “Their mind isn’t on the meeting at the end, so it’s not productive,” Peter Handal, former CEO and chairman of Dale Carnegie Training, told U.S. News & World Report.

 

2. Have a concise agenda

 

You need an agenda if you want a productive meeting, so everyone knows what’s about to be discussed. But how you handle the agenda-setting will likely depend on team dynamics and what you think will work best for that particular atmosphere.

 Another tactic is to enter the meeting without a pre-set agenda, but have the meeting members develop one based on what’s most important to them. Kern, from The Table Group, wrote in an article for Inc. that the agenda does need to be tightly focused around the general goals for the meeting — this isn’t the time to put tangents on an agenda. But the results can be empowering for the people who attend the meetings. “The meeting scriptdoesn’t result from a circulated email and it’s not based solely on the meeting leaders’ strategic priorities, and that is important. This is a powerful change, because it means that team members are discussing things that are important to them,” Kern explains.

3. Take good notes

 

Nothing can be more frustrating than spending 30 minutes in a decent meeting, only to realize a day later that no one recorded the details of what was actually discussed. Alexandra Samuel, author of Work Smarter with Social Media, suggests using a collaborative tool like Google Docs. That way, when one person is talking and sharing ideas, another person can be recording what’s said. This is also a way to draw more people into the meeting, as they can share ideas and get them down on paper immediately. Applications like Evernote also allow for searchable functions and provides an easy way to keep track of archived meeting minutes, Samuel writes.

While you’re taking those notes, it’s wise to also keep track of who is taking responsibility for which tasks. Steve Jobs became famous for this, including a “directly responsible individual,” or DRI, next to every task or agenda item. That way, people can be working on a project but know exactly who is responsible for seeing it through to completion. It’s a quick way to streamline questions, follow-ups, and also who will likely update their superiors on progress that’s made.

4. Use technology as an asset

 

We’re now squarely in the digital age, so technology should begin to be used to our advantage in meetings, not ignored in favor of another Powerpoint presentation. If you’re conducting meetings remotely or have clients who aren’t coming in to your office, Samuel suggests using a screen-sharing app to quickly show drafts or brainstorm topics. Of the several platforms she’s used, Samuel recommends Join.me for quick and reliable sharing.

Also, have an extra screen like a spare iPad or other device ready to display reference material. That way, you won’t have to divert your main screen from taking notes or your prepared presentation, but everyone can still see multiple sets of information relevant to the conversation. If you’re on a conference call, Samuel suggests setting up a backchannel before the call in-house, so that you as a team can stay on the same page during the meeting.

In addition to these things, start basing decisions and conversations around data when possible, not personal preferences. Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo!, approaches design pitches from a scientific viewpoint whenever possible. Carmine Gallo wrote in a piece for Bloomberg Businessweek that Mayer discourages “I like” statements and instead looks for statements backed up by performance measures and metrics. Instead of “I like the way the screen looks,” Mayer expects statements like, “The experimentation on the site shows that his design performed 10% better.” Mayer was still working for Google when the Businessweek article was written, but it’s pretty safe to assume the same logic is happening in Yahoo!’s meetings.

5. Leave with action steps

 

If employees leave knowing where everyone is going to lunch but not what’s happening for your marketing strategy, your meeting has failed. Figure out who is responsible for heading up certain tasks, and come up with measurable ways to track progress. “The worst thing that can happen is nobody follows up and then you have another meeting to talk about what you already discussed,” Cincotta writes.

For the steps that will need to be carried out with other employees, establish a framework for how it will be explained to colleagues or direct reports. “It’s important that everyone is on the same page about what you will and what you won’t say outside the meeting. Not everything will be ready for prime time, and that’s OK, so long as everyone finds out information within the same time frame,” Kern at The Table Group writes.

One last word about wrapping up a meeting: don’t let people get away with stewing in the corner, just waiting to leave the meeting to tell everyone else about the bad brainstorm ideas. “Nothing is more deadly than silent disagreement that quickly results in a totally dysfunctional meeting after the meeting in which ‘real’ opinions are shared behind closed doors,” Kern explains. If you’re leading the meeting and believe someone strongly disagrees but isn’t speaking up, encourage them to do so or follow up with them immediately after. Disagreements are natural, but should be resolved before it feels like the entire meeting was undermined by a complaint afterward.
CheatSheet.com | October 27, 2015 | 

#Leadership : 9 Life Lessons I Learned from Being a Janitor for a Year…My Sophomore Year of College I Landed a Part-Time Job as a Janitor. I made just $6.25 an Hour, & it Wasn’t Glamorous, but it Was One of the Best Life Experiences I’ve Had to Date. Why? I Learned some Invaluable Lessons that Have Stuck With Me Every Day Since.

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Most college kids get jobs as waiters or lifeguards or tutors when they need extra cash. I did something slightly less conventional.

 

This job didn’t pay much — but it offered me a lot of good life lessons.

My sophomore year of college I landed a part-time job as a janitor. I made just $6.25 an hour, and it wasn’t glamorous, but it was one of the best life experiences I’ve had to date. Why? I learned some invaluable lessons that have stuck with me every day since.

Here are a few that stand out:

1. People are generally self-absorbed.

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Many people don’t think about how their actions – even seemingly insignificant ones — affect others.

For instance, when people go to the bathroom, they aren’t thinking about aiming right so someone else doesn’t have to clean up their mess, or about picking up the paper towel when their free-throw misses the trash can. No. They are thinking about finishing their business as quickly as possible so they can get out and get on with their life.

When I first started working as a janitor, this type of self-absorption annoyed me — it got under my skin. But I eventually accepted it because I know we all have a lot going on in our lives and we’re all guilty of being at least a little bit self-absorbed. Plus, it was my job to clean up other people’s messes. That’s what I signed up for, and what I was paid to do.

2. Just because someone is your boss doesn’t mean they are best suited to be your boss.

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No one is perfect. Managers are human and have faults and doubts just like everyone else. But some bosses are really just not meant to be leaders.

Even at the janitorial level, this truth struck me hard when I noticed some of the “head janitors” gossiping with employees about colleagues in a mean manner. I couldn’t believe they would stoop to that level of unprofessionalism — but I learned a good lesson: You should never put your boss on a pedestal.

I realized that just because someone lands a managerial role doesn’t mean they actually deserve it (or will be good at it).

3. People in all lines of work go on “power trips” — even janitors.

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Considering I was slightly embarrassed to have to wear a bright orange janitor uniform in the first few days of my employment, I was surprised at the competitive race for managerial positions that I sometimes observed at work.

Then, once someone received a promotion, they often went overboard with discipline and micromanagement.

I finally understood the word “power trip,” or the phenomenon of people in higher up positions making their subordinates’ lives difficult just because they can. And I learned that you can’t make a power trip go away — you just have to accept it and choose your battles wisely.

 

4. Never be ashamed of a job.

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As I said in lesson three, I was slightly embarrassed to wear the neon orange janitor uniform on my first few days on the job. However, I quickly learned not to be ashamed of my “janitor” title.

That gig required a lot of manual labor and hard work, which I think is admirable…not embarrassing.

It’s important to remember that not every job will be your “dream job,” especially if you are just entering the workforce. So keep an open mind and never judge a book (or a job) by its cover (or reputation).

And if someone makes fun of you for a job, they are not worth your time.

5. People get uncomfortable when they hear you have a low-level job.

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Much like telling someone that you’re unemployed or that you’re now single can make them uncomfortable, so can telling them that you work as a janitor.

I get this. Janitors are at the bottom of the work totem pole in most people’s mind. Why do you think Matt Damon’s character in “Good Will Hunting” started off as a janitor before his incredible math skills were discovered? Because being a janitor created the most dramatic contrast. Who would ever expect the janitor to be a genius?

So when you tell someone that you work as a janitor, they don’t necessarily know the proper response. They can’t say “Cool! That’s awesome!” because it will seem sarcastic. They can’t say “That stinks!” in case you like being a janitor and will find that offensive. So they generally say, “Oh okay…and how is that?”

I tried to save people from this uncomfortable decision by saying, “I work as a janitor. It has its ups and downs, but I generally like it and it’s taught me some good lessons.” This type of answer puts people at ease and they can feel free to ask more questions about your job or to move on to a new topic.

6. You value $6.25 a lot more when you scrub toilets for an hour to earn it.

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I remember being 15 and my grandmother would sometimes give me $5 or $10 “just because” and, while I appreciated the generous gift, I would usually just stick it in my wallet or spend it on an ice cream cone or movie ticket. I didn’t truly value that seemingly small amount of money.

However, once you scrub toilets, mop floors, and pick up trash across an auditorium for a solid hour just to earn $6.25, you learn to really value money — any amount of it.

 

7. No matter what you’re tasked with, always give it your all.

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This lesson is a bit of a cliché, but it’s true. Whether you are cleaning toilets or running a company, you should always do your best so you develop a good work ethic that will help you to achieve your career goals and to earn good recommendations from your boss.

In addition, when you work hard, you gain confidence in yourself and your abilities. And that’s something everyone wants.

8. Nothing creates a friendship like complaining together.

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I agree that optimism is better than pessimism, but I also know that some of my best friends have come from complaining about a teacher, or an awful school assignment, or certain aspects of my job.

One of my closest friends in college was a fellow janitor with whom I would complain about work. We both noticed some uncalled-for “drama” among some our colleagues and bonded over how silly we found it. I had a much easier time keeping my head down when I could give my friend “the look” out of the corner of my eye.

Perhaps a better lesson is that you never know where you will meet your closest friends in college.

9. Guys can’t aim.

Mike Mozart/Flickr

You know what this means.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 30, 2015 | Natalie Walters