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Your #Career : 5 Ways To Bounce Back From Criticism At Work… Remember: It’s Not the Critique that Counts – It’s What you Do With It That Has the Power to Change your Life & Inspire the People Around You. If you Can Let that Dust Sit on your Face with Grace, You are a True Professional.

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As a career coach, I am all too familiar with the emotional history we carry into our professional lives. Many of my clients come to me with self-imposed, often limiting, ideas about what they are capable of in their careers. As we discuss all of the career avenues available to them, without fail, they offer me a wide variety of unfounded reasons to explain why certain career paths aren’t an option for them. It’s as though they’re expecting to fail and protecting themselves from even having to try in the first place.

portrait of Young pretty business woman work on notebook computer in the bright modern office indoors

I get it. I’ve been there. Even as an entrepreneur, I see it in my world—the same article can invoke a “you’re amazing” response from one person, and “you’re a nightmare” response from another.

So how do we get ahead in such a critical world when taking risks and being vulnerable can feel so raw?

Aristotle says it best: “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

These are a few of the key tips I give my clients to help them push past their fear of feedback:

1. Accept the feedback graciously. First and foremost, listen to the person delivering the feedback. It’s gold, truly. People often think they’re listening when in fact they are anticipating their own response or explanation to the criticism. If the feedback is given in person, take a notepad along and jot some notes down. Hold yourself with confidence and grace and take the feedback like a boss, even if the feedback-giver is less than gentle in its wording. Above all, do not react defensively, and don’t feel obligated to respond. Thank the deliverer for the feedback, express appreciation for their candor, and let them know you will consider their comments and follow up if you need any clarification. This lets them know they’ve been heard, and it leaves the door open for you to follow up with questions, or – if absolutely necessary – an explanation or apology.

 

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2. Look for the lessons. You are probably familiar with the old saying: “there’s no such thing as a bad experience.” I’ve found this to be true when it comes to professional development… There’s also no such thing as a true “mistake.” Every interaction you have with your colleagues, clients, and peers provides you with an opportunity to learn something about them – their communication styles, body language, word choices, and tone. Most importantly, there’s so much to learn about yourself… What do you notice within yourself when you experience criticism? Do you feel offended? Do you feel less confidence? Your response to criticism is a direct pathway for insight on how you’re doing with your own personal self-esteem. Plus, if you spend the entire feedback session feeling self-conscious or defensive, you miss the chance to be observant and learn. How a person delivers criticism speaks volumes about who they are as a person, and while it could have value for you, separate the energy they’re speaking from away from the actual content they’re sharing. This leads us to No. 3.

3. Check your ego at the door. Occasionally, feedback will be 100% valid and also 100% painful. The ego has a tendency to get very loud in these situations, especially when the delivery was aggressive or hurtful. It’s easy to dismiss the feedback by blaming the messenger: “I would be more willing to consider his opinion if he hadn’t yelled at me while he said it.” While a cruel delivery can be embarrassing, the humiliation we feel is usually just masking a deeper sense of shame that comes from feeling powerless to change. Our ego fights those feelings with arguments like “that’s just who I am,” “he knew this about me when he hired me,” and “he’s too uptight” or “he’s the only one who feels this way.” At the end of the day, letting the ego win – and dismissing all feedback as unjustified – is a complete bar to growth and professional satisfaction. Instead, ask how you can use the experience to grow. How can you use it as a tool to rise and succeed even more? As an entrepreneur, I’m susceptible to harsh feedback—I see it with gratitude… It’s a mechanism and venue for me to grow and better serve my clients… This is how successful people think.

4. Give yourself some processing time to sort through the feedback.After you receive the feedback, take some notes about it. How does it make you feel? Some of it may feel expected and non-painful. But if you have a strong reaction, such as feeling outraged and misunderstood, or completely worthless and beat up, try to identify the sensitivity and any past triggers, meaning times in your life where you felt this familiar pain. This is much more powerful than dismissing the feedback just because it stirs up uncomfortable and confusing emotions. Once you understand whether your pain roots back from any other similar life experiences, you’ll have a better frame of reference to accept the meaningful feedback and dismiss the parts of it that feel inherently off-the-mark or valueless. The ability to have those honest internal conversations with yourself will help you stay humble and strong – as opposed to defensive or weak – in these potentially painful situations.

5. Empower your professional relationships. If you can approach every feedback situation from the mental standpoint that the speaker is coming from a place of good intention, you will be able to emotionally withstand the criticism with dignity. You will learn to use hardship as a platform to build—not burn—bridges. In fact, the way in which you receive feedback is a direct path to how your colleagues respect you moving forward… Surprise them! Having a professional and gracious attitude is empowering to your relationship with the critic. They will remember your grace and feel grateful to you for making it more bearable.

I’ve seen many different reactions to tough feedback in my practice as a career coach. Some clients take on the “I’ll show them” mentality and, without really tapping into their emotions, go overboard trying to prove their superiors wrong. While the approach is less combative than outright defensiveness, it’s no less hostile and counterproductive.

As Roosevelt brilliantly said: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because this is no effort without error and shortcoming …”

In closing, remember: It’s not the critique that counts – it’s what you do with it that has the power to change your life and inspire the people around you.

If you can let that dust sit on your face with grace, you are a true professional.

 

Ashley Stahl  CONTRIBUTOR

I cover careers, job hunting and millennials in the workforce.

Ashley Stahl is a career coach who helps millennials find their purpose, get job offers or launch their dream business. Join her at LandMoreJobOffers.com.

Forbes.com |  May 30, 2016

#Leadership : 3 Types of #Employees you Should Fire Immediately…You May Not Even Realize It, but These “Time-Suckers” Hurt your Business by Drawing your Attention Away From the Tasks you Need to Do Each Day.

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As a Manager/Business Owner, your Time is Limited; you Hired a Team of Capable Professionals Because there’s No Way you Can Do it All.  Even if your organization runs like a well-oiled machine, there’s usually at least one team member who causes you more stress than the others.

 

You may not even realize it, but these “time-suckers” hurt your business by drawing your attention away from the tasks you need to do each day. While many types of productivity-zappers exist in an office environment, none are as disruptive as those who directly affect strategic decision-makers.

These three types of people should be removed from your staff as soon as possible.

 

Juliana Dacoregio

Never hire the “Drama Queen” job applicant.

1. The Drama Queen

If your office doesn’t have a drama queen, consider yourself lucky. Found in almost every group of people, these individuals live life as though it’s a reality show. They enjoy stirring things up, then sitting back to watch the fireworks.

You’ll likely find yourself frequently breaking up arguments between employees, only to find the resident drama queen at the heart of it. Whether it’s exposing what someone said about someone else or accusing someone of neglecting his work, these individuals will constantly require your attention as referee.

Unfortunately, drama queens do more than simply waste worker productivity. Their behind-the-scenes conversations are often negative in tone, and the attitude can be contagious.

This is especially true if the drama queen directs attention to the company’s leadership, causing a general distaste for management that leads to greater problems within the organization.

Managing drama queens can be a delicate situation, because much of what they do is social. Some businesses have implemented no-gossip policies, but these policies are usually impossible to legally enforce.

They can also lead employees to feel that their personal conversations are being monitored and judged. Instead, employers should document the behaviors that have led to incidents in the office and address them directly with the individual.

William Brawley/Flickr

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2. The Victim

One of the toughest challenges of managing people is knowing how to handle the ones who like to play the victim. These people avoid accountability for their own actions, preferring to blame others for bad situations.

They’ll always have an excuse, and their constant complaints aren’t missed by their coworkers, who can even begin to develop their own victim mentality as a result of seeing others do it.

Even stickier is the employee who seems to always have some ailment. While every employer wants his staff to be as healthy as possible, there are occasionally people who take advantage of the employer’s generosity by claiming an array of medical conditions that, over time, turn out to be unfounded.

Too often, the employer is left not knowing for certain if the person is truly ill or is simply trying to take advantage of the system.

The overriding issue in the workplace is how the person’s actions are affecting the business as a whole. One person’s chronic absences and refusal to participate will eventually be noticed by other employees, who are likely to feel resentful about having to cover.

To avoid issues, have a set policy in place regarding absenteeism, making it clear that after a certain number of days within a cycle, a doctor’s notice will be required. When an assignment affects a vast majority of the staff, make it clear that everyone is required to participate.

Keep careful documentation of each incident and, if issues persist, have a talk with the employee about his or her issues. Make it clear that if the person continues to miss work or decline to participate in work assignments, action will be taken that may include termination.

It’s important to review the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), because you’ll be required to provide accommodations if the condition falls into an area that would be classified as a “major impairment.”

 

Flickr/Lenore Edman

3. The Nonconformist

These rebels without a cause are determined to break the rules, from the simplest to the most complex. If you have a dress code that prohibits T-shirts with slogans, this person will wear one every Friday.

If you have a set procedure for how tasks should be completed, they’ll go off script every time. While some businesses are less restrictive than others, every business usually finds it must enact some rules to avoid problems and remain productive. These employees seem to see “rules” as “control” and want to battle you each step of the way.

Instead of engaging in a power struggle with these renegades, determine if there are ways you can work with rebels rather than against them. Often a rebel is nothing more than an independent thinker who wants to make a difference in the world, rather than just following along with what others tell them. If you can put these qualities to work for your organization, you may find you have an employee who can help your organization grow.

Sometimes, however, the rebel mentality comes from someone who takes it a step further and tries to take over. This person tends to come across as a know-it-all, refusing to listen to instruction and instead choosing to do things his or her own way.

Worst of all, this type of person may have appoint him- or herself as a leader within the organization, ordering other employees around. If given enough time, this type of toxic behavior could drive some of your best employees away.

Whether an employee’s independent attitude is a benefit to your organization or not, it can definitely take a toll on employee morale. As others see that someone is violating company policies, they may begin to wonder why they have to follow the rules when everyone else doesn’t.

For that reason, you’ll have to enforce your company policies in a uniform manner, whether it’s corporate dress code, office hours and attendance, meeting project deadlines, or some other clearly outlined rule.

 

 Conclusion

Employee management is one of the toughest challenges for manager/business owners.

By identifying employees who drain productivity and slow your business growth, you’ll be able to remove them and bring in professionals who will help you meet your long-term goals.

 

Businessinsider.com |  October 27, 2015  | Jayson Demers, Inc.com