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#Leadership : How To Avoid The 5 Most Common Misunderstandings At #Work …From Long Email Chains to Group Projects without Clear roles, here are the Most Common Ways #Communication at Work Goes Off the Rails, & How to Fix It.

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If you’ve ever had to clear up a situation at work because you were misquoted or misinterpreted, you know how easy it is for actions and words to be misconstrued. Misunderstandings are rooted in communication, and we often wind up getting derailed because we were too busy to get clarification, says Janel Anderson, owner of the communication consulting firm Working Conversations and author of Head On: How to Approach Difficult Conversations Directly.

“We want others to agree with us, and in our current culture of too much to do and not enough time to do it,” she says. “We often jump to conclusions when, in fact, we haven’t asked enough questions and engaged them effectively to find out if they agree or not.”

Here are five of the most common situations that lead to misunderstandings, and how you can get everyone back on the same page.

1. WHEN DIVIDING RESPONSIBILITIES

When people work together on a team, everyone’s role needs to be clear. Any ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings. At the beginning of a project, put responsibilities and expectations in writing, and have regular check-ins to make sure everyone is clear about their part.

“It’s important for everyone to see their peers contributing, all working toward a goal, and ensuring that everyone’s roles are defined so that you can avoid confusion, or discontent because others aren’t doing their fair share,” says Brian Kelley, vice president of public relations and employee engagement at Sage Communications, a marketing and public relations firm. “What is that fair share? Make sure you define it at the outset so there are no questions.”

 

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2. WHEN COMMUNICATING COMPANY GOALS

Most leaders believe they communicate big-picture information, such as goals, strategies, issues, and projects. They may be communicating, but it’s often not with the entire team, says Heidi Pozzo, founder of Pozzo Consulting, a strategy consulting firm.

“There is typically a lot of discussion within the leadership team so it feels like everyone should understand,” she says. “The challenge is the group that needs to hear about it may have only heard from leaders once or twice.”

A leader needs to clearly define not only the starting point, but the pathway and critical touch points to the desired state, says Brad Deutser, CEO of the leadership consulting firm Deutser and author of Leading Clarity: A Breakthrough Strategy to Unleash People, Profit, and Performance. “Defining the pathway is fundamental to achieving the desired end state,” he says. “A purposeful leader works to carefully define the pathway, eliminating any potential diversions and ensuring clarity.”

3. WHEN COMMUNICATING VIA EMAIL

Email frequently leads to misunderstandings because it eliminates social cues, like tone of voice, eye contact, or facial expression that aid our comprehension of the message, says Anderson.

“When email misunderstandings occur, people feel threatened and get defensive,” she says. “To avoid this misunderstanding I suggest following the rule of three: If there have been three emails exchanged and you haven’t understood each other, pick up the phone and speak to them in person.”

4. WHEN DISCUSSING PROFESSIONAL GOALS

Disconnects can often happen during feedback or performance reviews, says Kelley. “It’s easy to relay information in a negative connotation when you are in effect asking for something completely different,” he says.

For example, if someone says, “I’ve worked too hard and too long for this pay,” they probably mean they feel undervalued or that their work/life balance is out of order.

“Instead of jumping to a conclusion, always assume the other party is coming from a position of positive intent,” says Kelley, adding that it’s important to take what you know about the employee and read between the lines. “Ensure you properly accept and respond to their message from this positive intent and coach them on how to better communicate their misunderstanding more effectively in the future.”

Be sure to get clear on employees’ long-term personal and professional goals, adds Ed McNamara, senior director of marketing and communications for SHI International, a software firm. “Some employees are very good at being proactive in asking for what they want; others might wait to be asked, but that doesn’t mean they want it any less,” he says.

5. WHEN YOU’RE HEARING THIRD-PERSON INFORMATION

The old saying is that too many cooks spoil the broth, and too many voices can spoil the message. “A lot of misunderstandings at work happen when information is relayed between people,” says Jessica Schaeffer, chief of staff and director of marketing and communications for the LaSalle Network, a staffing firm. “Someone says something, tells another person, and that person talks to you,” she says. “It could be business-related or company politics, but usually, it leads to a misunderstanding.”

It’s important to not jump to conclusions and get defensive, says Schaeffer. “Go back to the original person, and ask for clarification,” she says. “Eliminate the middleman and get the information firsthand. Sometimes the middleman misinterprets excitement as frustration or anger, or worse yet, doesn’t know the person well enough to pick up on important context or nonverbal cues, and relays the message incorrectly.”

WHY MISUNDERSTANDINGS ARE COMMON

The human brain is a sense-making machine and it wants to know why someone did or didn’t do something, says Anderson. “In the absence of information, we make up a motive, and we are usually wrong,” she says.

In all of these situations, the best way to mitigate is to stop and check in with yourself when you think someone has intentionally wronged you. “Ask yourself how much hard evidence you have to support your conclusion that the other person has acted maliciously,” says Anderson. “If you don’t have much—or any—evidence, get curious and ask the person some questions about why they did what they did. Assume positive intent until you have hard evidence to the contrary.”

 

FastCompany.com | March 1, 2018 | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA 4 MINUTE READ

 

#Leadership : Team Building; 5 Understandable Reasons Why Your Co-workers Are on Your Nerves…We, in General, Tend to Attribute our Actions as the Cause for other Events or Reactions Happening. Often This is Not the Case.

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While we all have good days and bad days, some people seem to be more difficult on a regular basis than others.

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Sometimes this seems to just be who they are from a personality point of view. They have a rather negative mindset. They’re grumpy. They don’t smile much and just have a dark cloud that follows them around. Then there are others, who recently seem more touchy and easily offended than they usually are. Their moodiness can be confusing to others and offensive as well.

As a psychologist, I tend to notice how many people attribute others’ behavior and reactions (or even general life events) to their own actions. That is, we, in general, tend to attribute our actions as the cause for other events or reactions happening. Often this is not the case.

Instead, frame your response in the sense of “It seems…” or “I’ve noticed…,” which makes your comment a bit softer. Then ask a question that communicates your concern for them, such as “Are you okay?”

In fact, there is fairly good research showing that people tend to over attribute their influence on the world around them and even their own lives. By the way, this is the basis of superstitions – developing a habit of wearing the same shirt, jeans and sitting in the same place that you did when your team won a big game, hoping it will bring luck, and they’ll win again.

While I’m usually an advocate for individuals taking a look at their own behavior and accepting responsibility for their actions, in this case, I actually believe it’s best to put ourselves and our actions at the back of the line with regards to the potential reasons why our co-workers may seem prickly and easily offended.

Here are some alternative reasons to explore why your colleague may seem rather testy and annoyed.

1. They may not feel well.
Often people become surlier when they don’t feel well physically. This can come from lack of sleep, a medical issue they’re dealing with or chronic pain. It may be that they have started to struggle with migraines, lower back pain or some other issue. Many employees don’t talk about how they feel physically; and so, those of us around them don’t really know that they don’t feel well.

 

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2. They may have issues going on in their personal life.

When we are dealing with stressful issues in our life, the emotional resources demanded to deal with these issues is significant, and we get worn out. Again, many people won’t share their personal issues; especially, if they are not asked about them. So there may be something going on in the background of your colleague’s life that you don’t know about.

This could include relationship difficulties, struggles with their children or adolescents, financial pressures or extended family issues. When we feel pressed in our personal life, many of us become more annoyed at work in response to what would otherwise be a normal demand.

3. They may feel anxious or fearful.
Irritability, a mild form of being angry or upset, can be a cover for other underlying thoughts and emotions. In our culture, many people have been taught – either directly or indirectly — that it’s not appropriate to express negative feelings. Therefore, they try to keep those feelings inside. Two of these common feelings is anxiety and fear. Our culture has shaped most of us to believe that it’s not acceptable to be anxious or fearful. Therefore, we tend to suppress our feelings, and the anxiety is expressed through being prickly and grouchy in response to other people.

4. They may be frustrated.
Sometimes people become crabby when they’re frustrated either with their life, their job or some specific issue going on at work. Frustrated is an interesting word because it is used in two different ways in our culture.

In many settings, when someone is frustrated, it is a nice way of saying they are a little bit angry. The other meaning of frustrated is to feel blocked – like you can’t reach the goal you are trying to achieve. Frustration can lead us to negatively react to any situation, regardless of whether it’s directly related to the issue about which we are frustrated. That is, we react in a quick-tempered manner to a situation that’s not directly related to what we are frustrated about.

5. They may not feel valued.
When employees don’t feel valued, either by their supervisor, management or their colleagues, a common response is for them to become increasingly irritable, moody and easily offended. One type of frustration is when we believe our colleagues should value what we do and contribute, but we don’t seem to hear much positive feedback.

In our work with the 5 Languages of Appreciation, we help individuals identify their primary language of appreciation; that is, the way in which they prefer to receive appreciation. Interestingly, we also found that employees are most easily offended when a message is sent – unintentionally — via their primary language that hurts them in some way.

For example, people who value verbal praise are also quite sensitive to any critique or criticism. And those who value quality time are easily offended when they feel left out.

How should you respond?
While it is helpful to know possible reasons for the surliness of your colleagues, the question remains: What should I do?

A helpful response may be: I’ve noticed that you seem somewhat more easily annoyed recently. Are you okay? Is there anything going on that would be helpful for me to know about?

Conversely, it is not helpful to be accusatory or speak in a factual tone of voice, saying something like: You have been incredibly grouchy lately. What’s up with that?

Instead, frame your response in the sense of “It seems…” or “I’ve noticed…,” which makes your comment a bit softer. Then ask a question that communicates your concern for them, such as “Are you okay?”

Be forewarned, you may or may not get a positive response – especially immediately. Try not to react in a defensive or antagonistic way. In fact, what often happens is a colleague will come back to you later and explain what’s going on after they have thought about your inquiry and concern for them.

 

Entrepreneur.com  | July 15, 2016 | Paul White, Psychologist, Speaker, Trainer

#Leadership : Are You Hurting Your Career With Corporate Jargon?…When we have to Dedicate Time & Energy towards Figuring out What someone is actually Talking About, we(your Team) is Inherently taking Away Time & Energy we Could be Putting Towards our Work.

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Mindshare? Sticky wicket? Straw man? Power alley? Can you improve your credibility and achieve better results simply by eliminating corporate jargon from your vocabulary?

Elegant business partners holding blank papers on green background

James Sudakow had declared war on the use of stupid corporate lingo. In his new book, Picking the Low Hanging Fruit…and Other Stupid Stuff We Say in the Corporate World, Sudakow not only advocates for speaking in plain English for his own sanity but articulates compelling reasons why doing so can have positive impacts on the work you do, the relationships you form, and even counterintuitively can help you be perceived as more credible.

Having held leadership roles in multi-billion dollar global technology companies and now serving as the Principal of CH Consulting–a boutique organizational transformation and talent management consulting practice–James is no stranger to the perils of swimming through murky jargon and the unintended consequences of its overuse.

If you are a leader of people, ask your teams for help monitoring your corporate jargon violations. It will likely be met with enthusiasm and move you one step further on the path of relatability. Corporate jargon bingo, anyone?

Picking the Low Hanging Fruit is a humorous glossary where we find strange but surprisingly common business expressions from burning platforms and paradigm shifts, to tissue rejection and open kimonos. Sudakow defines these terms and takes a witty jab at the corporate culture by calling out exactly what these terms do not mean, and also sites real examples from his own experiences that show the consequences of overusing these expressions.

People might not understand as much of what you are saying as you think

Most of us move so quickly in the corporate world that we might not recognize that the number of employees who are scratching their heads and simply don’t understand these expressions is larger than we think. As a young consultant working for a Big 4 global consulting firm, Sudakow would find himself sitting quietly in a state of confusion but hesitant to mention that he was lost.

“We all figure it out sooner or later. But why put ourselves through that?” Sudakow states. “Figuring out how to do the work amidst corporate politics and culture is hard enough without throwing a language barrier into the gauntlet.”

When we have to dedicate time and energy towards figuring out what someone is actually talking about, we are inherently taking away time and energy we could be putting towards our work.

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Relatability and Credibility–Corporate jargon doesn’t help

It doesn’t stop with simply not being understood. Credibility is at stake. In some ways, the credibility of the person using the terms can be damaged because his or her language feels inauthentic and doesn’t connect or resonate with people—even if the speaker actually has something very valuable to say.

Why is this so important? More and more have been written recently about the importance for leaders, in particular, to be relatable to their people–this relatability serving as a way to build common ground with the very teams they are asking a lot of. Many factors contribute to how successfully anyone can be in their goal of becoming a relatable leader or colleague, but overusing corporate jargon doesn’t establish anyone as “the common person.” It’s much more powerful to speak in plain English.

So what can we do about it?

Think about what you might say if you were talking to friends outside of work where corporate jargon simply wouldn’t fit. When preparing for formal presentations to groups, think about where you might slip into a corporate jargon violation and think about how you might replace it with a normal word.

 If you are a leader of people, ask your teams for help monitoring your corporate jargon violations. It will likely be met with enthusiasm and move you one step further on the path of relatability. Corporate jargon bingo, anyone? At the very least, be a good corporate citizen and help someone who might be a corporate jargon abuser by simply pulling him or her aside and constructively mentioning that the message might have resonated better in plain English.

For many of us, using corporate jargon has simply become a habit resulting from being immersed in the corporate world. In Picking the Low Hanging Fruit…and Other Stupid Stuff We Say in the Corporate World, Sudakow helps us understand in a fun and lighthearted way that the words we choose are important and that we can all make ourselves better understood by staying away from jargon.

Forbes.com | June 17, 2016 |  Kevin Kruse

Your #Career : 5 Ways To Bounce Back From Criticism At Work… Remember: It’s Not the Critique that Counts – It’s What you Do With It That Has the Power to Change your Life & Inspire the People Around You. If you Can Let that Dust Sit on your Face with Grace, You are a True Professional.

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As a career coach, I am all too familiar with the emotional history we carry into our professional lives. Many of my clients come to me with self-imposed, often limiting, ideas about what they are capable of in their careers. As we discuss all of the career avenues available to them, without fail, they offer me a wide variety of unfounded reasons to explain why certain career paths aren’t an option for them. It’s as though they’re expecting to fail and protecting themselves from even having to try in the first place.

portrait of Young pretty business woman work on notebook computer in the bright modern office indoors

I get it. I’ve been there. Even as an entrepreneur, I see it in my world—the same article can invoke a “you’re amazing” response from one person, and “you’re a nightmare” response from another.

So how do we get ahead in such a critical world when taking risks and being vulnerable can feel so raw?

Aristotle says it best: “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

These are a few of the key tips I give my clients to help them push past their fear of feedback:

1. Accept the feedback graciously. First and foremost, listen to the person delivering the feedback. It’s gold, truly. People often think they’re listening when in fact they are anticipating their own response or explanation to the criticism. If the feedback is given in person, take a notepad along and jot some notes down. Hold yourself with confidence and grace and take the feedback like a boss, even if the feedback-giver is less than gentle in its wording. Above all, do not react defensively, and don’t feel obligated to respond. Thank the deliverer for the feedback, express appreciation for their candor, and let them know you will consider their comments and follow up if you need any clarification. This lets them know they’ve been heard, and it leaves the door open for you to follow up with questions, or – if absolutely necessary – an explanation or apology.

 

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2. Look for the lessons. You are probably familiar with the old saying: “there’s no such thing as a bad experience.” I’ve found this to be true when it comes to professional development… There’s also no such thing as a true “mistake.” Every interaction you have with your colleagues, clients, and peers provides you with an opportunity to learn something about them – their communication styles, body language, word choices, and tone. Most importantly, there’s so much to learn about yourself… What do you notice within yourself when you experience criticism? Do you feel offended? Do you feel less confidence? Your response to criticism is a direct pathway for insight on how you’re doing with your own personal self-esteem. Plus, if you spend the entire feedback session feeling self-conscious or defensive, you miss the chance to be observant and learn. How a person delivers criticism speaks volumes about who they are as a person, and while it could have value for you, separate the energy they’re speaking from away from the actual content they’re sharing. This leads us to No. 3.

3. Check your ego at the door. Occasionally, feedback will be 100% valid and also 100% painful. The ego has a tendency to get very loud in these situations, especially when the delivery was aggressive or hurtful. It’s easy to dismiss the feedback by blaming the messenger: “I would be more willing to consider his opinion if he hadn’t yelled at me while he said it.” While a cruel delivery can be embarrassing, the humiliation we feel is usually just masking a deeper sense of shame that comes from feeling powerless to change. Our ego fights those feelings with arguments like “that’s just who I am,” “he knew this about me when he hired me,” and “he’s too uptight” or “he’s the only one who feels this way.” At the end of the day, letting the ego win – and dismissing all feedback as unjustified – is a complete bar to growth and professional satisfaction. Instead, ask how you can use the experience to grow. How can you use it as a tool to rise and succeed even more? As an entrepreneur, I’m susceptible to harsh feedback—I see it with gratitude… It’s a mechanism and venue for me to grow and better serve my clients… This is how successful people think.

4. Give yourself some processing time to sort through the feedback.After you receive the feedback, take some notes about it. How does it make you feel? Some of it may feel expected and non-painful. But if you have a strong reaction, such as feeling outraged and misunderstood, or completely worthless and beat up, try to identify the sensitivity and any past triggers, meaning times in your life where you felt this familiar pain. This is much more powerful than dismissing the feedback just because it stirs up uncomfortable and confusing emotions. Once you understand whether your pain roots back from any other similar life experiences, you’ll have a better frame of reference to accept the meaningful feedback and dismiss the parts of it that feel inherently off-the-mark or valueless. The ability to have those honest internal conversations with yourself will help you stay humble and strong – as opposed to defensive or weak – in these potentially painful situations.

5. Empower your professional relationships. If you can approach every feedback situation from the mental standpoint that the speaker is coming from a place of good intention, you will be able to emotionally withstand the criticism with dignity. You will learn to use hardship as a platform to build—not burn—bridges. In fact, the way in which you receive feedback is a direct path to how your colleagues respect you moving forward… Surprise them! Having a professional and gracious attitude is empowering to your relationship with the critic. They will remember your grace and feel grateful to you for making it more bearable.

I’ve seen many different reactions to tough feedback in my practice as a career coach. Some clients take on the “I’ll show them” mentality and, without really tapping into their emotions, go overboard trying to prove their superiors wrong. While the approach is less combative than outright defensiveness, it’s no less hostile and counterproductive.

As Roosevelt brilliantly said: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because this is no effort without error and shortcoming …”

In closing, remember: It’s not the critique that counts – it’s what you do with it that has the power to change your life and inspire the people around you.

If you can let that dust sit on your face with grace, you are a true professional.

 

Ashley Stahl  CONTRIBUTOR

I cover careers, job hunting and millennials in the workforce.

Ashley Stahl is a career coach who helps millennials find their purpose, get job offers or launch their dream business. Join her at LandMoreJobOffers.com.

Forbes.com |  May 30, 2016

Your #Career : Six Things You Don’t Owe Your Boss..Success & Fulfillment often Depend Upon your Ability to Set Good Boundaries. Once you can Do This, Everything Else Just Falls into Place. What Do you Do to Set Boundaries Around your Work?

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The typical workday is long enough as it is, and technology is making it even longer. When you do finally get home from a full day at the office, your mobile phone rings off the hook, and emails drop into your inbox from people who expect immediate responses.

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While most people claim to disconnect as soon as they get home, recent research says otherwise. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that more than 50% of us check work email before and after work hours, throughout the weekend, and even when we’re sick. Even worse, 44% of us check work email while on vacation.

A Northern Illinois University study that came out this summer shows just how bad this level of connection really is. The study found that the expectation that people need to respond to emails during off-work hours produces a prolonged stress response, which the researchers named telepressure. Telepressure ensures that you are never able to relax and truly disengage from work. This prolonged state of stress is terrible for your health. Besides increasing your risk of heart disease, depression, and obesity, stress decreases your cognitive performance.

We need to establish boundaries between our personal and professional lives. When we don’t, our work, our health, and our personal lives suffer.

Balance between Family and WorkResponding to emails during off-work hours isn’t the only area in which you need to set boundaries. You need to make the critical distinction between what belongs to your employer and what belongs to you and you only. The items that follow are yours. If you don’t set boundaries around them and learn to say no to your boss, you’re giving away something with immeasurable value.

1. Your health. It’s difficult to know when to set boundaries around your health at work because the decline is so gradual. Allowing stress to build up, losing sleep, and sitting all day without exercising all add up. Before you know it, you’re rubbing your aching back with one hand and your zombie-like eyes with the other, and you’re looking down at your newly-acquired belly. The key here is to not let things sneak up on you, and the way you do that is by keeping a consistent routine. Think about what you need to do to keep yourself healthy (taking walks during lunch, not working weekends, taking your vacations as scheduled, etc.), make a plan, and stick to it no matter what. If you don’t, you’re allowing your work to overstep its bounds.

 

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2. Your family. It’s easy to let your family suffer for your work. Many of us do this because we see our jobs as a means of maintaining our families. We have thoughts such as ”I need to make more money so that my kids can go to college debt-free.” Though these thoughts are well-intentioned, they can burden your family with the biggest debt of all—a lack of quality time with you. When you’re on your deathbed, you won’t remember how much money you made for your spouse and kids. You’ll remember the memories you created with them.

3. Your sanity. While we all have our own levels of this to begin with, you don’t owe a shred of it to your employer. A job that takes even a small portion of your sanity is taking more than it’s entitled to. Your sanity is something that’s difficult for your boss to keep track of. You have to monitor it on your own and set good limits to keep yourself healthy. Often, it’s your life outside of work that keeps you sane. When you’ve already put in a good day’s (or week’s) work and your boss wants more, the most productive thing you can do is say no, then go and enjoy your friends and hobbies. This way, you return to work refreshed and de-stressed. You certainly can work extra hours if you want to, but it’s important to be able to say no to your boss when you need time away from work.

4. Your identity. While your work is an important part of your identity, it’s dangerous to allow your work to become your whole identity. You know you’ve allowed this to go too far when you reflect on what’s important to you and work is all that (or most of what) comes to mind. Having an identity outside of work is about more than just having fun. It also helps you relieve stress, grow as a person, and avoid burnout.

5. Your contacts. While you do owe your employer your best effort, you certainly don’t owe him or her the contacts you’ve developed over the course of your career. Your contacts are a product of your hard work and effort, and while you might share them with your company, they belong to you.

6. Your integrity. Sacrificing your integrity causes you to experience massive amounts of stress. Once you realize that your actions and beliefs are no longer in alignment, it’s time to make it clear to your employer that you’re not willing to do things his or her way. If that’s a problem for your boss, it might be time to part ways.

Bringing It All Together

Success and fulfillment often depend upon your ability to set good boundaries. Once you can do this, everything else just falls into place.

 What do you do to set boundaries around your work? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com |  February 2, 2016 | Travis Bradberry

#Leadership : How to Transform Habitual Negativity at Work…Here are some Simple Strategies to Transform Negativity at Work, Which can Slow Down Productivity & Sabotage Results.

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I wish I had a penny for every leader or manager I worked with who accepted some form of negativity at work, simply because it had become familiar. Like a persistent background noise, often negativity is tolerated until the impact becomes too hard to ignore. This might be when someone complains, or results are massively affected, or a customer notices and gives you feedback.

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Negativity at work does impact results. This study by Michigan State University found productivity was directly affected, as “negative-minded workers are more likely to become mentally fatigued and defensive and experience a drop-off in production”.

I was called in to work with a business which was missing shipping deadlines, customer complaints were escalating and arguments at work leading to discipline interviews were becoming the norm. Things had become untenable and the CEO was at a loss as to how to stop this downward spiral into negativity. The business was expanding internationally and they had come to a point where they knew they were heading towards a big fail because of the internal problems.

What I found out from the CEO was negativity had almost always been the cultural norm, but it had not been a big problem until recently. Like a rolling snowball, the negativity had grown and accelerated until it could no longer be ignored.

Examples of negativity at work

The worst extremes of negativity at work like bullying and harassment usually come to light fairly quickly. Research shows other poor behaviors, outlined below, cause almost as much distress to fellow workers as bullying, but they are often not viewed as seriously:

  • Claiming credit for someone else’s work;
  • Setting out to make a member of staff appear incompetent and/or make their lives miserable through persistent criticism;
  • Deliberately withholding information/providing incorrect information; and
  • Isolating/deliberately ignoring/excluding someone from activities.

The behaviors I encountered in the example I mentioned above were far more subtle, frequently seen in the workplace and most tolerated.  These showed up as:

  • Blaming each other and overreacting when things went wrong
  • Defensiveness, with a refusal to learn from mistakes
  • Gossiping
  • Jumping to negative conclusions and being negative about each other
  • Black and white thinking
  • Focusing on problems, without striving for solutions
  • Juggling for status
  • Cultivating a bleak and depressing outlook for the business
  • Blaming management
  • Agreeing to actions in a meeting, only to come out and complain

When you see these actions in the workplace, many managers feel their hands are tied as often the work still appears to be getting done, negativity is seen as human nature or managers don’t have the tools to help make positive changes.

 

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How to link negativity to poor performance

When negative behaviors are more serious, it’s relatively easy to link with misconduct and dignity at work type policies. When the negative behaviors are subtle, it’s more difficult.

Some leaders and managers don’t think they are able to link such negative behaviors with poor performance.  Performance criteria are often based on results, competencies or skills and so it’s difficult to quantify the impact of subtle negativity on performance in any meaningful way.

The way to link these subtle negative behaviors to performance is to assess the impact they have in terms of:

  • Productivity – How much time is wasted complaining, blocking a solution-orientated approach or resulting disputes
  • Cost – How much does it cost to bicker, moan and de-motivate people with a stream of negativity?
  • Motivation – What is the impact of negativity on employee motivation and effort?

How to transform negativity

Raising awareness and set standards is a must as well as an ability to transform negativity to more positive thinking and behaviors. Here are 6 ways to you can make the switch.

1.       By identifying the negative behaviors, you don’t want to see, you can describe positive behaviors you do want and incorporate these behaviors in your value statement or behavioral competencies.

2.       Set positive standards for the whole team, resisting the urge to identify individuals at this stage.

3.       Leaders model the behaviors you want to see; it starts at the top.

4.       Teach people how to get what they want in a constructive way, for example, show them effective ways of voicing views which engage rather than disengage.

5.       Empower people to have their say by asking them to offer solutions.

6.       Develop a “no blame” culture, using errors and mistakes as opportunities to learn.

Pivoting subtle negativity isn’t always easy, but there are ways you can channel the energy to be a positive force if you have an intention for positive change.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

PUBLISHED ON: JAN 21, 2016
Inc.com  | 

BY CHRISTINA LATTIMER

Founder, People Development Network

#Leadership : 9 Things #Employees Hate Most about their #Bosses …. According to a Recent Poll, 91% say Communication Issues Can Hurt their Relationship With their #Boss.

/in /by

If you’re getting the sense thatyour employees secretly hate youand you’re wondering why, it could be your communication style.  If you’re getting the sense thatyour employees secretly hate youand you’re wondering why, it could be your communication style.

 

According to a recent poll of about 1,000 US workers by Harris and Interact, a communications consultancy, 91% say communication issues can hurt their relationship with their boss.

The employees surveyed voted on the top nine communication issues that bug them about their managers. We spoke with Lou Solomon, CEO of Interact, about why these behaviors are so irksome and how managers can tweak their leadership style to be more effective.

Here’s the list of troublesome leadership behaviors, in reverse order.

View As: One PageSlides

 

9. Not asking about employees’ lives outside of work

Twenty-three percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

To illustrate how problematic this issue can be, Solomon referred to one of her clients, whose boss suggested he attend a certain professional conference. What the boss didn’t realize was that his employee was in fact one of the conference organizers. That experience is an example of leaders who only make half-hearted attempts to connect with their employees, Solomon said.

Of course, managers don’t have to know absolutely everything about their employees’ lives outside of work — but key points like the birth of children, the loss of loved ones, and certainly professional roles like being a conference organizer are important to note.

Solomon said employees might think about the situation this way: “The fact that you [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][the boss] only care about my contribution at work and are oblivious to the other parts of my life — that stands out to me as a workplace that I don’t want to be a part of.”

Francois Mori/AP

8. Refusing to talk to people on the phone or in person.

Thirty-four percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

With the advent of digital technologies from email to Slack, it’s becoming increasingly possible to avoid in-person interaction entirely.

Yet Solomon strongly advised against this practice. “Face-to-face communication is still the most persuasive, influential medium that there is,” she said.

Leaders can make themselves visible by periodically showing up at meetings or on phone calls — or even by making the rounds at company-wide social functions. That way, they’ll appear more approachable and trustworthy.

“You can communicate electronically to exchange information and sustain a dialogue,” Solomon said, “but you cannot build trust electronically.”

of about 1,000 US workers by Harris and Interact, a communications consultancy, 91% say communication issues can hurt their relationship with their boss.

The employees surveyed voted on the top nine communication issues that bug them about their managers. We spoke with Lou Solomon, CEO of Interact, about why these behaviors are so irksome and how managers can tweak their leadership style to be more effective.

Here’s the list of troublesome leadership behaviors, in reverse order.

Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design/flickr

7. Not knowing employees’ names

Thirty-six percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

Employees today “want a meaningful exchange with the people who are leading the company,” Solomon said. “And when they are not greeted as an individual, then it stands out as missing.”

Solomon cited instances she’s heard about, in which a CEO rides the elevator with an employee and greets him by name. “The impact of that is extraordinary,” she said.

The bottom line is that leaders need to stop pleading, “I’m not good with names,” and make it a priority to know them. “As a leader,” Solomon said, “the standard is higher.”

University of Michigan School of Natural Resources & Environment/flickr

6. Not offering constructive criticism

Thirty-nine percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

“Great leaders let people know how they’re doing,” Solomon said, “and give them ways to constantly do better and to get themselves in position to reach their goals.”

Yet Solomon said constructive feedback is often the “missing piece” in today’s leadership, for two key reasons. One, many leaders feel they’re too busy to slow down and invest their time and energy in giving an impromptu performance review.

And two, some leaders fear offending employees or hurting their feelings if they give feedback after a negative incident.

The key to delivering helpful criticism, Solomon said, is to assess the employee’s performancewithout emotions like anger or frustration.

Francisco Osorio/Flickr

5. Taking credit for others’ ideas

Forty-seven percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

Few leaders actually assert that they came up with an idea when in fact one of their employees submitted it.

Instead, Solomon said, what often happens is that, in the rush to get things done, managers neglect to give credit where it’s due.

But to employees, it can feel as though someone has just stolen credit for their contributions — and that experience can be extremely demotivating.

VFS Digital Design/Flickr

4. Refusing to talk to subordinates

Fifty-one percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

Managers who won’t associate with their reports are communicating a lack of concern for them — even if, again, it’s just a result of being distracted.

Flickr / Alan Levine

3. Not having time to meet with employees

Fifty-two percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

The reason managers might not have time to meet with their employees isn’t necessarily that they don’t care about their subordinates. Instead, it’s usually a function of distraction and having multiple responsibilities to juggle.

Still, “if you don’t have time to be easygoing and open and accessible to employees, you could be a liability” in your organization, Solomon said.

That’s because people trust and engage with leaders they genuinely like — and it’s hard to like a manager who clearly doesn’t make her relationship with you a priority.

Vancouver Film School/Flickr

2. Not giving clear directions

Fifty-seven percent of employees said this was a problem for them.

“This is such a rift that comes up more than we’d like to imagine between leaders and folks who report to them,” Solomon said. The leaders “weren’t specific on exactly what constituted a success or what the deliverable looks like in their mind.”

What typically ends up happening is that the leader gets frustrated with the employee for not producing the desired result, when in fact, “it was really the leader’s responsibility to make crystal clear exactly what they’re looking for.”

Solomon said managers should keep in mind that, while it might be easier to provide a few key points about a project and leave employees alone, it will ultimately be much more effective to outline the specific directions and exactly what they’re looking for. That way, employees won’t have to redo their work and there will be less aggravation all around.

velkr0/Flickr

1. Not recognizing employee achievements

Sixty-three percent of employees surveyed said this was a problem for them.

According to Solomon, “the human side of business is what drives the bottom line as much as the numbers.” In other words, if employees feel unappreciated, they won’t be motivated to produce their best work and the organization will suffer as a result.

The key to giving motivational feedback, Solomon said, is to make it specific andinstantaneous.

“If you tell me that you especially liked the way I was able to get collaboration from another department on a particular project I was in charge of, then I sense that you really understand my giftedness and what I bring to the table.

“However, if you just tell me that, ‘Hey, you did a good job on that project,’ then it’s less satisfying to me. Even though you said something, it was general. Anybody could say that.”

Businessinsider.com | October 27, 2015 | 

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