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#Leadership : 9 Life Lessons I Learned from Being a Janitor for a Year…My Sophomore Year of College I Landed a Part-Time Job as a Janitor. I made just $6.25 an Hour, & it Wasn’t Glamorous, but it Was One of the Best Life Experiences I’ve Had to Date. Why? I Learned some Invaluable Lessons that Have Stuck With Me Every Day Since.

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Most college kids get jobs as waiters or lifeguards or tutors when they need extra cash. I did something slightly less conventional.

 

This job didn’t pay much — but it offered me a lot of good life lessons.

My sophomore year of college I landed a part-time job as a janitor. I made just $6.25 an hour, and it wasn’t glamorous, but it was one of the best life experiences I’ve had to date. Why? I learned some invaluable lessons that have stuck with me every day since.

Here are a few that stand out:

1. People are generally self-absorbed.

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Many people don’t think about how their actions – even seemingly insignificant ones — affect others.

For instance, when people go to the bathroom, they aren’t thinking about aiming right so someone else doesn’t have to clean up their mess, or about picking up the paper towel when their free-throw misses the trash can. No. They are thinking about finishing their business as quickly as possible so they can get out and get on with their life.

When I first started working as a janitor, this type of self-absorption annoyed me — it got under my skin. But I eventually accepted it because I know we all have a lot going on in our lives and we’re all guilty of being at least a little bit self-absorbed. Plus, it was my job to clean up other people’s messes. That’s what I signed up for, and what I was paid to do.

2. Just because someone is your boss doesn’t mean they are best suited to be your boss.

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No one is perfect. Managers are human and have faults and doubts just like everyone else. But some bosses are really just not meant to be leaders.

Even at the janitorial level, this truth struck me hard when I noticed some of the “head janitors” gossiping with employees about colleagues in a mean manner. I couldn’t believe they would stoop to that level of unprofessionalism — but I learned a good lesson: You should never put your boss on a pedestal.

I realized that just because someone lands a managerial role doesn’t mean they actually deserve it (or will be good at it).

3. People in all lines of work go on “power trips” — even janitors.

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Considering I was slightly embarrassed to have to wear a bright orange janitor uniform in the first few days of my employment, I was surprised at the competitive race for managerial positions that I sometimes observed at work.

Then, once someone received a promotion, they often went overboard with discipline and micromanagement.

I finally understood the word “power trip,” or the phenomenon of people in higher up positions making their subordinates’ lives difficult just because they can. And I learned that you can’t make a power trip go away — you just have to accept it and choose your battles wisely.

 

4. Never be ashamed of a job.

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As I said in lesson three, I was slightly embarrassed to wear the neon orange janitor uniform on my first few days on the job. However, I quickly learned not to be ashamed of my “janitor” title.

That gig required a lot of manual labor and hard work, which I think is admirable…not embarrassing.

It’s important to remember that not every job will be your “dream job,” especially if you are just entering the workforce. So keep an open mind and never judge a book (or a job) by its cover (or reputation).

And if someone makes fun of you for a job, they are not worth your time.

5. People get uncomfortable when they hear you have a low-level job.

Evil Erin/flickr

Much like telling someone that you’re unemployed or that you’re now single can make them uncomfortable, so can telling them that you work as a janitor.

I get this. Janitors are at the bottom of the work totem pole in most people’s mind. Why do you think Matt Damon’s character in “Good Will Hunting” started off as a janitor before his incredible math skills were discovered? Because being a janitor created the most dramatic contrast. Who would ever expect the janitor to be a genius?

So when you tell someone that you work as a janitor, they don’t necessarily know the proper response. They can’t say “Cool! That’s awesome!” because it will seem sarcastic. They can’t say “That stinks!” in case you like being a janitor and will find that offensive. So they generally say, “Oh okay…and how is that?”

I tried to save people from this uncomfortable decision by saying, “I work as a janitor. It has its ups and downs, but I generally like it and it’s taught me some good lessons.” This type of answer puts people at ease and they can feel free to ask more questions about your job or to move on to a new topic.

6. You value $6.25 a lot more when you scrub toilets for an hour to earn it.

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I remember being 15 and my grandmother would sometimes give me $5 or $10 “just because” and, while I appreciated the generous gift, I would usually just stick it in my wallet or spend it on an ice cream cone or movie ticket. I didn’t truly value that seemingly small amount of money.

However, once you scrub toilets, mop floors, and pick up trash across an auditorium for a solid hour just to earn $6.25, you learn to really value money — any amount of it.

 

7. No matter what you’re tasked with, always give it your all.

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This lesson is a bit of a cliché, but it’s true. Whether you are cleaning toilets or running a company, you should always do your best so you develop a good work ethic that will help you to achieve your career goals and to earn good recommendations from your boss.

In addition, when you work hard, you gain confidence in yourself and your abilities. And that’s something everyone wants.

8. Nothing creates a friendship like complaining together.

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I agree that optimism is better than pessimism, but I also know that some of my best friends have come from complaining about a teacher, or an awful school assignment, or certain aspects of my job.

One of my closest friends in college was a fellow janitor with whom I would complain about work. We both noticed some uncalled-for “drama” among some our colleagues and bonded over how silly we found it. I had a much easier time keeping my head down when I could give my friend “the look” out of the corner of my eye.

Perhaps a better lesson is that you never know where you will meet your closest friends in college.

9. Guys can’t aim.

Mike Mozart/Flickr

You know what this means.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 30, 2015 | Natalie Walters

 

#Strategy : 4 Steps To Overcome Adversity And Amplify Your Success…When you Consider the Statistic that 60% of Americans are Unhappy With their Occupation, It Becomes Apparent That the Majority of Us are Not Aligned With our Purpose or, Consequently, our Potential.

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“The truth is that customers don’t typically care who you are or what you have to offer unless they can see that there is clear and obvious value being offered in the exchange,” said Brad. “What drives the interaction is an exchange of value. As soon as the customer perceives that the value being offered is greater than the cost, there will be a natural urgency for the exchange.”

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference,” wrote Robert Frost in his famous poem “The Road Not Taken” in 1916. Our team at Fishbowl believes it is a metaphor for accepting accountability for our choices. We can remain optimistic through every breakdown or failure, learn and come back wiser and possibly even grateful for the experience.

“Life is difficult,” wrote Dr. M. Scott Peck in his bestseller The Road Less Traveled published in 1978. “This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

Frost and Dr. Peck make it clear that life is a journey and challenges are a given. Fast forward to 2015 and to a new generation of thought leaders and we learn that adversity in many experiences can be overcome with knowledge and viewing the situation from a different perspective.

We recently read The Laws of Influence by Brad Harker, a highly respected influence expert. He reminded us a lot of Dr. Peck. We liked his book so much that we connected with him to learn more.

 

Brad consults with professionals and organizations in the disciplines of sales, entrepreneurship and career development. With his entrepreneurial track record that includes a series of startups and more than a quarter billion dollars in sales, we were anxious to learn more about Brad’s theories on influence and the strategies he has introduced to his clients to help them reach incredible levels of personal and professional achievement.

Brad possesses more ambition, creativity and passion than we’ve seen in most experts. He has a unique ability to help others discover their purpose, amplify their strengths and leverage their potential.

Here are the four highlights from our discussion that helped our team and will hopefully help you overcome challenges and amplify success:

1. Everyone is in sales

Brad views selling as a function of influence. “Rooted in a distinct mindset, selling is in the way we think, act and communicate,” said Brad. “It is habitual. It’s not so much what we do or say, but how we do or say it. We all sell our ideas, beliefs, products or services every single day of our lives. No matter what our job title is, we are all active in the art of influence.”

Through his experience in sales and entrepreneurship, Brad has arrived at five conclusions:

  1. Selling or influencing others is an integral part of our daily experience, no matter what role we play in life.
  2. Our success in any endeavor depends on our ability to influence.
  3. We each have natural abilities that we can cultivate into habits of influence.
  4. By practicing these habits on a consistent basis, we can leverage the power of influence to reach our greatest potential.
  5. Once we have accepted the reality that we are always selling something, we can direct our attention to the most important sale we will ever face – ourselves. Our “pitch” to ourselves is that we each have unlimited potential and a unique capacity to realize our own version of greatness.

2. Align with your purpose

Brad believes that aligning with your purpose is the first step to build influence. He suggests that “each of us possesses unique traits and natural abilities, and our mission is to come into harmony with the gifts and talents that we have been given.”

We learned that Brad, in addition to his speaking and consulting activities, is an Adjunct Professor at Dixie State University. He thrives on the opportunity to help his students gain an awareness of their purpose and leverage their potential.

“Consider how much of your life you have spent acquiring an education,” said Brad. “It requires at least 16 years of school to earn an undergraduate degree! In all of that time spent learning, how much of that was spent on understanding exactly who you are? Education and experience are worthless if you don’t first understand who you are and what drives you.

“When you consider the statistic that 60% of Americans are unhappy with their occupation, it becomes apparent that the majority of us are not aligned with our purpose or, consequently, our potential.”

In the words of Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” If you follow our work at Fishbowl, you will know that we believe Twain got it half right. It’s what you do after figuring out the why that really matters, which leads to Brad’s next point…

 3. Focus on creating value

Brad recently created an online webinar series called Sales Primer that is designed to simplify the sales process for sales executives, professionals and entrepreneurs. In the first section Brad shares what he calls the exchange model.

The model simplifies the process of exchanging products and services. The model highlights the fact that the true medium of exchange is value, not necessarily money or the product. Brad has found that far too many professionals lead with their title or product, expecting success as a result of who they are or what they think is great about their product.

“The truth is that customers don’t typically care who you are or what you have to offer unless they can see that there is clear and obvious value being offered in the exchange,” said Brad. “What drives the interaction is an exchange of value. As soon as the customer perceives that the value being offered is greater than the cost, there will be a natural urgency for the exchange.”

4. Find success in the midst of adversity

Brad has overcome significant obstacles throughout his career. What is more compelling is how he has been able to harness that adversity to educate and motivate himself towards his goals.

“Mental response to rejection is a major differentiator between average and successful people,” said Brad. “Resilience” is the word he uses when describing the degree of fortitude people are able to show in the face of adversity. You may wonder how much resilience you have. Brad suggests, “It is important to understand that resilience is largely based on perceptions. From our youth, we have formed habits and meanings for the events we experience.”

Here is a relevant example Brad shared with us: consider how you have felt after experiencing a significant challenge, such as being fired from a job, benched during a game or intensely reprimanded.

For most of us, those experiences evoke emotions of discouragement, failure or severe depression. The reason is because we have been conditioned through our experiences to respond that way. “Fears, doubts and worries are perceptions of a reality that exists only in your mind,” Brad explained. He believes that our biggest weakness as humans is what often keeps us safe: our protective mechanisms.

Brad teaches a powerful approach to “reframe failure” that helps his clients embrace and learn from the adversity in their lives instead of shrinking in defeat and losing confidence.

He believes that we have two options in the face of adversity:

1. We can conform to it by allowing fear and insecurity to construct facades and walls that allow us to pretend that we are okay. In this conformity, we deprive ourselves of valuable education and strength.

2. Or we can humbly embrace failure as the great teacher and refining fire that has proliferated great men and women from the dawn of civilization.

We all face challenges in life. Reframe what holds you down into a learning opportunity and your success will be amplified. “We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived,” said Dr. Peck.

Learn more about Brad and his concepts here.

Additional reporting for this article provided by Mary Michelle Scott, Fishbowl President

 

Forbes.com | September 29, 2015 | David K. Williams

 

#Strategy : 7 Ways To Blow Your Boss’s Mind…You’re Putting the Work In, So Why Aren’t you Getting Rewarded? The Answer is Simple: You Don’t Get Promoted for Fulfilling your #Boss’s Expectations.

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We all want to get ahead. Still, even when it seems you’re doing everything right—you’re never late to work, rarely take a sick day, and always meet deadlines—promotions can be few and far between.

 

You’re putting the work in, so why aren’t you getting rewarded? The answer is simple: you don’t get promoted for fulfilling your boss’s expectations.

Your boss’s expectations are the price of entry. Even if you’re making a great effort and doing all that’s asked of you, you won’t stand out. You’ll be seen as someone who completes the minimum requirements, and no one who builds a great career is seen this way.

The trick to advancing your career and getting paid more is to add value by making certain your contributions are worth more than you’re paid. You want to go above and beyond so that you’re seen as someone highly valuable—someone the organization can’t live without.

You should aim to exceed your boss’s expectations so much that he feels like he’sthe smartest guy in the world for hiring you.

This isn’t as hard as it sounds. In fact, you can blow your boss’s mind in seven easy steps.

Step 1: Beyond developing the skills you need for your job, learn about your company’s industry, competitors, latest developments, and challenges. 

Professional development is important, but why stop there? If you really want to blow your boss’s mind, soak up everything you can about your company and your industry. For example, if you’re an IT developer, instead of simply learning the current best practices in coding, learn how those practices are being applied throughout your industry.

Transferring your knowledge to the real-world context of your organization is a great way to add value. On top of knowing how to do your job, it shows that you know why you’re doing it and why it matters.

 

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Step 2: Instead of always having the answer, pre-empt the question.

It’s a good feeling when you can answer your boss’s questions on the spot, without shuffling through piles of paper or telling her that you’ll have to get back to her. But if you really want to blow her mind, pre-empt the question. Anticipate what she wants to stay on top of, and send her regular updates. You’ll save her time and energy, and she’ll appreciate that just as much as your enthusiasm.

Step 3: Instead of owning up to mistakes once they’re discovered, bring them to light yourself.

Accountability is a lost art. Too many people try to cover up their mistakes, fearing the repercussions of admitting fault. Show your boss that you’re not afraid to own up to your mistakes, and he’ll be amazed. When you make a mistake, just give your boss a simple heads-up, and have a solution ready. Even better, tell him the steps you’ve already taken to mitigate the problem.

Everyone makes mistakes. You’ll stand out by showing your boss that you’re accountable, creative, and proactive when you inevitably make them.

Step 4: Instead of asking for training, do it on your own.

Typical career advice is to ask your boss to send you to classes and workshops to improve your skills. But we’re not talking about what’s typical; we’re talking about blowing your boss’s mind. Pursue training yourself, on your own time. It doesn’t have to be expensive; there are plenty of online courses available free or close to free. While everybody else is asking the boss to send them to training, you can tell her what you’ve already done, and your initiative will be rewarded. You’ll save the company money and get ahead, and expand your skillset at the same time.

Step 5: Instead of doing what you’re told, be proactive.

Anybody (well, almost anybody) can do what they’re told. To blow your boss’s mind, you have to be proactive. If you see a problem, fix it. If you see something that needs doing, do it. Put together a how-to guide for new hires, document your processes and figure out where you can streamline them, or do whatever else you can think of to make a difference.

Bosses appreciate vision more than anything. They love it when you see what could be useful to the company over the long term—and don’t forget to tell your boss about it. It’s only “kissing up” if you do it manipulatively or with the intention of making your co-workers look bad. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with owning your accomplishments.

Step 6: Build relationships with other departments.

It’s practically guaranteed that, at some point, your department will need help or input from another area. An excellent way to blow your boss’s mind is to build relationships throughout the company. Person-to-person interactions are almost always more effective than department-to-department exchanges. You can make your boss’s day by saying, “Why don’t I take care of that for you? I know someone who can get that done for us right away.”

Step 7: Be the calm one in a crisis.

Few things get your boss’s attention like your ability to weather a storm. Whether it’s conflict between people, everyone freaking out over a rule change, or what have you, make certain that you’re the one who remains calm, composed, and in control of your emotions. Your composure and ability to think clearly during a crisis demonstrates leadership potential, and leaders get promoted.

Bringing It All Together

The people who achieve the most are those who add the most value. Business is, after all, about making a profit. You want your boss and the company to know that they’re getting a great return on the time and money they’re investing in you.

What are some other great ways to blow your boss’s mind? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

 

Forbes.com | September 29, 2015 | Travis Bradberry

#Leadership : 24 Ways to Influence Even the Most Resistant People…Influencing Others is How we Get Jobs & Promotions, Win Negotiations, Sell Products, & Gain Notoriety.

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Seduction, persuading a person to yield to your advances, isn’t used only in the pursuit of a love interest. Influencing others is how we get jobs and promotions, win negotiations, sell products, and gain notoriety.

 

Frank Underwood offers Viktor Petrov his hand in “House of Cards.”

In “The Art of Seduction,” popular author Robert Greene explores the ruthless tactics of some of history’s greatest seducers, from Cleopatra to Casanova.

We’ve summarized Greene’s 24 rules of seduction below.

 

1. Choose the right victim.

Your target should be someone “for whom you can fill a void,” Greene says. Don’t try to get the most out of those who are too eager to please you, because they are usually looking to get something in return; instead, find those who give subtle hints, like shyness in your presence, that they are open to your influence.

2. Create a false sense of security — approach indirectly.

If you want to initiate a relationship with someone who would be of value to you, you risk forcing them to raise their guard if you approach them and immediately ask for something. Before making a proposal, reach out to them via a third party, or develop a neutral or friendly relationship before making it about business.

 

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3. Send mixed signals.

“Game of Thrones”/HBO

Peter Baelish is one of the most conniving characters in “Game of Thrones.”

Once you’ve got someone hooked, give yourself an air of mystery to keep that person’s interest. Don’t reveal too much about your background or your intentions.

4. Appear to be an object of desire.

Don’t make a fool of yourself, but don’t be humble when you’re trying to win someone over. Show off your most important connections and successes.

5. Create a need — stir anxiety and discontent.

People cannot be seduced if they’re content. Sell yourself by illustrating ways in which the other party is lacking in some respect and then reveal how you can make up for that deficiency.

6. Master the art of insinuation.

“Game of Thrones”/HBO

Cersei enjoyed a reign of power in “Game of Thrones.”

If you’re too straightforward with people you’re trying to influence, you may scare them away or even turn them against you. The best way to get people to work in your favor, Greene says, is by subtly dropping hints over time without revealing your true intentions. That way you can make your target think he or she is acting on his or her own initiative.

7. Enter their spirit.

If you’re trying to change people’s minds, first play by their rules. Begin by becoming a mirror, and they will open up to you.

8. Create temptation.

20th Century Fox

Cleopatra was able to maintain power by seducing both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony.

Determine what your target’s weakness is, and play to it. Find an ideal that this person is trying to realize “and hint that you can lead them to it,” Greene writes.

9. Keep them in suspense.

The moment people think they know what to expect from you is when your hold over them is broken. Keep their interest in you with the occasional surprise.

10. Use the power of words.

Justin Sullivan/Getty

People pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars to hear Tony Robbins give one of his dramatic speeches.

If you are giving a presentation, for example, goad the audience onto your side by telling them what they want to hear. Make your argument convincing by making it enjoyable.

11. Pay attention to detail.

Entice your target by making painstaking decisions look effortless.

12. Poeticise your presence.

You will not win people over if you are a nagging constant in their lives. Associate yourself with enjoyable experiences so that your target misses you when you’re gone.

13. Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability.

“The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers”/New Line Cinema

Grima Wormtongue was a manipulative villain in “The Lord of the Rings.”

Rather than overpower your target, set aside your ego and communicate how the other side is in a dominant position, even if it isn’t exactly true.

14. Confuse desire and reality — the perfect illusion.

“Remember: people want to believe in the extraordinary,” Greene writes. Make whatever you’re trying to sell sound dramatic yet rooted in reality.

15. Isolate the victim.

People are most vulnerable when they are shut off from everything around them. Make others feel like they are the only person who matters.

 

16. Prove yourself.

Anton Raphael Mengs (1759)

Giacomo Casanova was an adventurous Italian socialite who wrote about his many affairs with women.

If your target begins to become insecure and pulls back from you, demonstrate your value by going out of your way to help him or her in some way.

17. Effect a regression.

Your targets will have had similar relationships that worked well for them. Figure out what they liked most about these previous experiences and do things to evoke memories of them.

18. Stir up the transgressive and taboo.

Even the most clean-cut people have a curiosity of the forbidden. You do not need to be doing anything wrong to make the other side feel as if they are working in a nebulous area — that can mean something as simple as hinting that a deal you are offering is so great that it is unprecedented and needs to be kept secret.

19. Use spiritual lures.

You run the risk of cheapening your words if they all lead to a singular goal, whether that be getting a job or selling a product. Supplement them with moral ideals that make your aim seem more important than it is.

20. Mix pleasure with pain.

Reuters

Spanish bullfights are thrilling and violent.

Avoid being overly polite with your target, which can have the unintended consequence of making you seem insincere and insecure. Mix complimentary language with blunt, straightforward insight.

21. Give them space.

When the other side is on your side but has become used to you, re-create interest by taking a step back and having them chase you.

22. Use physical lures.

Keep your target focused on you by making yourself as attractive as possible, dressing nicely, smiling, and speaking with confidence.

23. Master the art of the bold move.

When your target has demonstrated that he or she is definitely interested in you, make a final offensive move, stating your intended goal. End with a natural, bold finish, rather than awkwardly or timidly avoiding what you really want, Greene says.

24. Beware of the aftereffects.

Netflix

Kevin Spacey as Frank Underwood in “House of Cards.”

Once you have succeeded in your seduction, employ variations of the above tactics to certain degrees to keep the other side from taking you for granted and making you disposable.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 29, 2015 | Richard Feloni

#Leadership : I Wish I Knew Then: 6 Power Women Share Most Valuable Career Advice …”Surround Yourself with People Who are Smarter than You. You Should Never Be the Smartest Person in the Room. Worry if you Are. ” -Jessica Alba, Founder & Chief Creative Officer, The Honest Co.

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What if you had the opportunity to ask today’s most successful leaders to identify the single most important lesson they’ve learned on a given topic? And what if those same leaders were willing to drill down on their personal experiences and share key insights in an honest and relevant way? My guess is that it would be a game-changer for many of us.

 

“The One Thing” is a new series dedicated to tapping into the wisdom of today’s most dynamic thinkers and ‘doers’. What’s ‘The One Thing’…. about career success, or work-life wellness, or bouncing back from failure…that you absolutely need to know in order to better navigate those types of events in your own life? This series will be a one-stop, go-to guide for women who are looking to embrace the success strategies of proven leaders, across industries and across generations.

Everybody can benefit from a mentor. And while we can’t hit fast forward on personal experience, we can draw on the life lessons of others to enhance our growth or simply help us manage all that we’re looking to accomplish each and every day.

“Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. You should never be the smartest person in the room. Worry if you are. ”

–Jessica Alba, Founder & Chief Creative Officer, The Honest Co.

Have A Bias For Action

“I would echo what my mother told me, ‘You’ve got to have a bias for action.’ The hockey coaches and the basketball coaches always say, “You will miss a hundred percent of the shots that you never take.” My mother encouraged me to try things that I wasn’t sure I could do. Over my life, I’ve been able to try things, many of which have worked that I didn’t necessarily think they would. Be brave. The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake. ”

–Meg Whitman, CEO, HP

 

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Leadership Is All About Adaptability

“Darwin said those who survive are neither the strongest nor the most intelligent, it’s those that can adapt to change. And I wish I had thought about that when I was younger because it always seemed to me that you had to be the brightest or the strongest. There’s something to be said for adapting to change. That doesn’t mean abandoning your values, but it does mean recognizing that the environment has changed and absorbing that .”

-Anne Finucane, Vice Chairman and Global Chief Strategy and Marketing Officer,Bank of America BAC +0.00%

Stay Open To Opportunity

“Be ready. Just be ready.  You just don’t know what opportunity might be out there.  It may not even be a path that they were thinking of.  But other people see your possibilities there.  I never intended to run for Congress.  I never intended to run for leadership.  Other people came to me to encourage me to do so.  And I was ready.”

–Nancy Pelosi, House Democratic Leader, The U.S. House of Representatives

Stay True To You

“I would say always, to thyself be true. We’re all born with what we have. Take what you have and do the best you can with it . Know who you are…Feel your way through life. Don’t over-think your way through life, because I think we’re all guilty of that.

–Angela Ahrendts, Senior Vice President of Retail and Online Stores, Apple

It’s All Going To Be Ok

 “I would tell myself to relax, that everything works out the way it’s supposed to. If you look back on your life at the things that you stressed out, ‘Oh my gosh, he didn’t ask me out, he didn’t call, I didn’t get that job, I lost that job,’ quite often in the end when one door closes, another one opens. Everything, even though you don’t believe it at the time, works out the way it’s supposed to–the good and the bad.

–Gayle King, Editor-at-Large, O, The Oprah Magazine; Co-Host, CBS This Morning

 

Forbes.com | September 28, 2015 | Moira Forbes

#Strategy : 7 Ways to Improve your Mood in Less than 5 Minutes…There are Definitely a Number of Proactive Things we Can Do When we Start Feeling Ourselves Getting Down. If you’re Looking for Ways to Turn a Bad Mood Around, Here are 7 Ways to Improve your Mood in Less than 10 Minutes.

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Some days staying positive and upbeat can feel like an uphill battle. Maybe it was a stressful day at work, a fight with a friend, or even just an off day — whatever it is, there are definitely things you can do to improve your mood.

 

And it’s no wonder bad moods can sneak up on us so often. According to psychologist Guy Winch, author of the bookEmotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts, a bad mood can be caused by anything from guilt over forgetting someone’s birthday, to outstanding tasks on our to do list, to not getting enough likes on a personal or important Facebook share. Basically, humans are sensitive creatures, and it’s not abnormal or even uncommon for little things to get us in a funk.

What’s more, according to a psychology study featured on ABC News, while a portion of our individual happiness is pre-determined by genetics and circumstance, research shows that up to 40 percent can be controlled throughour daily thoughts and actions.

This means that there are definitely a number of proactive things we can do when we start feeling ourselves getting down. If you’re looking for ways to turn a bad mood around, here are seven ways to improve your mood in less than ten minutes.

1. Listen To Upbeat Music

According to a 2013 study published by the University of Missouri, listening to upbeat musiccan actually improve your mood. The study’s author, Yuna Ferguson, noted that it’s important not to overthink, “Am I happy yet?” while listening, and instead just allow yourself to enjoy the experience. So don’t be afraid to turn up the jams when you’re feeling low.

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2. Get A Good Laugh

According to an article on Prevention, a study conducted by Stanford University showed thatlaughter increases dopamine in our brains, which is a chemical that elevates mood. And according to the Mayo Clinic, laughter also increases oxygen to our bodies and cools down our stress response system, resulting in a positive, relaxed feeling. So the next time you’re in a bad mood, try pulling up some Amy Schumer or an SNL digital short on YouTube — you’ll probably feel a lot better!

3. Walk Around The Block

Daniel Kripke, M.D. at the University of California said that, “Studies show that people who getmore light exposure during the day have fewer sleep problems and less depression, and evidence suggests that light can keep you alert and productive.” Additionally, mental health and exercise expert Jack Raglin, Ph.D., says that, “Studies have shown that even mild exercise, about 40 percent of your max heart rate, can lift your mood,” and recommendsdoing activities that match your mood instead of trying to force yourself to do something you’re just not feeling — like working in your garden instead of going to a loud Zumba class.

4. Declutter

Author of The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron, Ph.D., said that “clutter is a reminder of things that should be getting done, but aren’t,” and can help fuel feelings of failure, and mentioned that you don’t have to spend an entire day reorganizing to feel better, as “just the illusion of order is enough to ease the mind.” Aron recommended just putting things intoneater stacks and piles for an instant boost in mood.

5. Give Someone A Hug

Tiffany Field, head researcher at The University of Miami’s Touch Institute, said in an article inPsychology Today that, “when you stimulate the pressure receptors in the skin, you lower stress hormones,” and also that touching others stimulates oxytocin, which also has positive effects on our mood. Field also recommended rubbing your own forehead, hands, and neck, as self-massage has been shown to decrease heart rate and reduce the stress-hormone cortisol in our systems.

6. Think About What Went Well

In another article in Psychology Today, doctor and wellness expert Susan Biali, M.D., said to reflect on three things that are going well or three positive moments in your day, and even replay them in your mind. According to Biali, that mentally revisiting these moments will help bring back the good mood and feelings they initially created.

7. Allow Yourself To Vent

Psychology Today contributor and psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., said there are actually some advantages to venting about a problem to a friend, and helping with your mood is one of them. “In many (though not all) situations it’s better for you to discharge negative emotions than to keep them bottled up inside,” he says, and also that, “venting helps restore your equilibrium.” So while you don’t want to be the person at home or work who is always focusing on the negative, there is definitely a time and a place — not to mention a therapeutic reason — to vent when needed.

There’s no reason a bad mood should ruin your day — or even a portion of your day. Often times when we’re down about something at work or a minor interpersonal conflict, a quick boost is definitely within your grasp; you just need a conscious desire to feel better and a willingness to take a few mindful steps towards it.

And if you’re finding that your bad or low moods are lasting longer than they should, or as if you can’t seem to shake them, never be afraid to reach out to a professional. You can visitMentalhealth.gov or StrengthOfUs.org for information on how to get help in your area.

Read the original article on Bustle. You can also check them out on Facebook and Pinterest. Copyright 2015. Follow Bustle on Twitter.

Businessinsider.com | September 27, 2015 | Bustle

Your #Career : 12 Signs You’re About to Be Promoted at Work…Being Self-Aware is a Critical Skill for Anyone to Develop & So you Should, Ideally, Always have a Reasonably Good Sense as to How You are Perceived By your Colleagues & Senior Leaders

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A feeling of euphoria is in the air. You suddenly have new sense of confidence at work because you suspect that you’re finally going to be recognized for your hard work. But until you get the great news, you really can’t be sure — and you most certainly shouldn’t start celebrating.

 

Good things could be coming your way.

“However, there are some telltale signs that you may at long last be getting that coveted promotion — you just need to look for them,” says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.”

“But remember, false reads on promotions happen every day, so even if you think you see the signs, you’ll want to remain as neutral as possible and stay focused on doing your best work.”

Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage,” says the signs aren’t always obvious, but people can usually tell if they are being groomed, or at least considered, for a promotion.

“Being self-aware is a critical skill for anyone to develop and so you should, ideally, always have a reasonably good sense as to how you are perceived by your colleagues and senior leaders,” he says. “And talking about your career goals and potential career paths should be a conversation you have on a fairly regular basis with your boss.”

Whether you’re having those discussions or not, you’ll still want to keep an eye out for the signs a promotion might be in your future. Here are 12 of them:

1- You’re suddenly invited to meetings that you were previously excluded from.

Flickr/John Benson

This is a good sign, especially if you’re invited to join meetings that involve senior management, managers from other departments, or key clients. “This obviously reflects a great deal of trust in your abilities,” says Kerr.

Taylor agrees. “This is a great sign, especially if your advice is sought during these meetings and you’re asked to lead future ones.”

2- You’ve been asked to take on a special assignment or project with added responsibilities.

“It shows that you’ve earned the trust of at least your immediate leader and it’s a great opportunity to grow and demonstrate new skills,” says Kerr.

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3- Your boss is being promoted.

Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design/flickr

When your boss moves up, it’s a prime opportunity for you to advance — especially if you’ve worked closely with your boss and they’ve groomed you for the spot, says Taylor.

4- You’re being asked to talk about your long-term career plans.

University of Michigan School of Natural Resources & Environment/flickr

If your boss takes the time to have an in-depth conversation about your family life, training goals, and long-term career plans, then this is a sign that senior leaders are sussing out where you, and possibly your colleagues, stand in terms of career goals and ambition, says Kerr.

 

5- Your boss or higher-ups start inviting you to lunch.

Gareth Williams/flickr

This isn’t the case in every workplace, but often, prior to a promotion, you may notice more invitations to lunch, says Taylor. “Good bosses view themselves as mentors and enjoy sharing in your success. They may also want to show appreciation for your work or want greater camaraderie through lunch or coffee breaks, as their level of trust increases. All positive signs for a promotion.”

6- You’re offered training opportunities or asked to attend a special conference to help build your skills.

Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design/flickr

When senior leaders invest money in your professional development, it’s because they see potential in you and may be grooming you as part of their succession plan, Kerr explains.

Another good sign is if management starts tapping you to train other individuals or groups, Taylor adds.

7- You’re suddenly treated like royalty.

AP Photo/Scott Heppell

Do you practically feel like the red carpet is thrown before you as you enter your office space?

“Maybe your boss and other managers are aware that you will soon be rewarded for your contributions, so they begin treating you like gold, with newfound respect,” says Taylor.

8- You are asked for your input more frequently.

Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design

Being asked for input is a sign that people respect your wisdom, judgment, and experience, Kerr says.

9- Kudos are more prevalent, even in public.

University of Exeter/Flickr

10- Your job description has already been upgraded functionally.

“If you’re seeing more emails with ‘Good job!’ and higher ups are being copied — or you’re even praised in public more frequently — your boss may be making a case to clinch the deal for your promotion by creating a positive ‘paper trail,'” says Taylor.

 

 

Businessinsider.com | September 22, 2015 

Jacquelyn Smith

Editor, Careers

Jacquelyn Smith

#Leadership : 12 Habits That Set Ultra Successful People Apart…These Habits Can Make Any of Us More Successful If We Use them Every Day. Give Them a Try & See Where They Take You.

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Ultra successful people delight themselves by blowing their personal goals out of the water. They succeed along many different dimensions of life—their friendships, their physical and mental health, their families, and their jobs (which they are not only good at but also enjoy).

 

TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that ultra successful people have a lot in common. In particular, 90% of them are skilled at managing their emotions in order to stay focused, calm, and productive.

These super successful folks have high emotional intelligence (EQ), a quality that’s critical to achieving your dreams.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that ultra successful people employ to reach their goals, what follows are twelve of the best. Some of these may seem obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the wherewithal to actually do so.

1. They’re Composed

Ultra successful people are composed because they constantly monitor their emotions, they understand them, and they use this knowledge in the moment to react to challenging situations with self-control. When things go downhill, they are persistently calm and frustratingly content (frustrating to those who aren’t, at least). They know that no matter how good or bad things get, everything changes with time. All they can do is adapt and adjust to stay happy and in control.

 2. They’re Knowledgeable

Super successful people know more than others do because they’re constantly working to increase their self-awareness. They vow constant growth. Whenever they have a spare moment, they fill it with self-education. They don’t do this because it’s “the right thing to do”; they do it because it’s their passion. They’re always looking for opportunities to improve and new things to learn about themselves and the world around them. Instead of succumbing to their fear of looking stupid, truly exceptional people just ask the questions on their mind, because they would rather learn something new than appear smart.

 

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3. They’re Deliberate

Ultra successful people reach decisions by thinking things out, seeking advice from others, and sleeping on it. They know that (as studies show) impulsively relying too much on gut-instinct is ineffective and misleading. Being able to slow down and logically think things through makes all the difference.

4. They Speak with Certainty

It’s rare to hear super successful people utter things like “Um,” “I’m not sure,” and “I think.” Successful people speak assertively because they know that it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.

5. They Use Positive Body Language

Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) draws people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that super successful people use to draw others in. Positive body language makes all the difference in a conversation because how you say something can be more important than what you say.

6. They Leave a Strong First Impression

Research shows that most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in how people respond to you. First impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. A strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile, and open shoulders help ensure that your first impression is a good one.

7. They Seek Out Small Victories

Successful people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield only small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases their confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you achieve a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

8. They’re Fearless

Fear is nothing more than a lingering emotion that’s fueled by your imagination.Danger is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Exceptional people know this better than anyone does, so they flip fear on its head. Instead of letting fear take over, they are addicted to the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their fears.

9. They’re Graceful

Graceful people are the perfect combination of strong and gentle. They don’t resort to intimidation, anger, or manipulation to get a point across because their gentle, self-assured nature gets the job done. The word gentle often carries a negative connotation (especially in the workplace), but in reality, it’s the gentleness of being graceful that gives ultra successful people their power. They’re approachable, likeable, and easy to get along with—all qualities that make people highly amenable to their ideas.

 10. They’re Honest

Super successful people trust that honesty and integrity, though painful at times, always work out for the best in the long run. They know that honesty allows for genuine connections with people in a way that dishonesty can’t and that lying always comes back to bite you in the end. In fact, a Notre Dame study showed that people who often lied experienced more mental health problems than their more honest counterparts.

11. They’re Grateful

Ultra successful people know that it took a lot of ambition, passion, and hard work to get where they are in life. They also know that their mentors, colleagues, families, and friends all played a huge role in their success. Instead of basking in the glory of achievement, super successful people recognize others for the wonderful things they’ve done for them.

12. They’re Appreciative

Truly exceptional people are able to achieve so much because they know the importance of slowing down and appreciating everything they already have. They know that a huge amount of their positivity, grit, and motivation comes from their ability to stay grounded and appreciate the opportunities that life has given them thus far.

Bringing It All Together

These habits can make any of us more successful if we use them every day. Give them a try and see where they take you.

What other habits set ultra successful people apart? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com | September 22, 2015 | Travis Bradberry 

#Leadership : The Change Habitat – 70% Percent Of Change Managers Are Wrong…Top Managers Should Lead Only One Big Change Program: The Creation of a Change Habitat. 70% of All Change Initiatives Fail

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There Seems to be a Veiled Arrogance in the Statement “70% of Change Initiatives Fail”. It basically says, “We know what workers should be doing, but most of them are either too stubborn or too ignorant to do it.” This know-it-all attitude to change programs has generated mountains of books and herds of change consultants advising top managers to create a sense of urgency, walk the talk,get employees involved, form a team of change champions, celebrate short-term wins, and communicate, communicate, communicate!

 

You’ve probably seen this statistic before. It has been repeated again and again by reputable sources such as Forbes, Harvard Business Review, IBM and McKinsey. And even though more than one expert has claimed that the statistic is wrong, it is a fact that change programs have a bad name among workers, and one of the biggest frustrations of top managers is that people resist all change.

But what if the change managers themselves are failing?

The problem lies in beliefs about who is responsible for launching change and how change is implemented.

– Gary Hamel

 

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Your Business Is Like a City

I frequently claim that organizations are similar to cities. Instead of a geographical boundary, businesses have an economic boundary. But most of what people do in businesses–they way they collaborate and compete and they way they lead and follow–can be compared to how people manage themselves in cities.

 Have you ever seen a local TV station complain that 70% of citizens fail to watch their programs?  Would it bother you to know that 70% of business ideas fail to get paying customers? How would you rate a politician bemoaning the fact that 70% of voters fail to vote for him?

There seems to be a veiled arrogance in the statement “70% of change initiatives fail”. It basically says, “We know what workers should be doing, but most of them are either too stubborn or too ignorant to do it.” This know-it-all attitude to change programs has generated mountains of books and herds of change consultants advising top managers to create a sense of urgency, walk the talk,get employees involved, form a team of change champions, celebrate short-term wins, and communicate, communicate, communicate!

When you see the organization as a modern city, instead of a traditional army, change becomes a very different phenomenon. No marketer, politician, or entrepreneur would blame the public for 70% of ideas not catching on.  The people’s resistance to change is what others would call the manager’s failure to make a difference.

Fortunately, you can address this issue.

Create a Habitat of Change

What’s needed is a real-time, socially constructed approach to change, so that the leader’s job isn’t to design a change program but to build a change platform—one that allows anyone to initiate change, recruit confederates, suggest solutions, and launch experiments.”

– Gary Hamel

What Gary Hamel refers to as a change platform–which is a rather technical term–could better be called a change habitat.

Habitat /ˈhabɪtat/

The natural environment in which a species or group lives; the natural home of an organism; the environment one is accustomed to living in.

Managers should lead only one big change program: the creation of a change habitat.

A change habitat is an environment in which change is natural. It is the home for people who feel comfortable suggesting, introducing and implementing changes. It is an ever-changing environment that workers are accustomed to living in. Such a change habitat has at least five preconditions:

  • A higher purpose toward which people can self-manage;
  • The autonomy for workers to do what they believe is best;
  • Sufficient connectivity which enables sharing ideas in a network;
  • Ample transparency for everyone to know what is going on;
  • A feeling of safety that allows people to experiment and fail.

When you have these in place, there is little need to roll out change initiatives as a manager, to get people involved and to communicate, communicate, communicate. In all but a few cases, it is not even your job to create a sense of urgency or to celebrate short-term wins. The major of a city doesn’t do that, so why would you?

Your job as a manager is to create a habitat that is optimized for adaptation, exploration, and innovation.  Forming teams of champions for every change of direction is a waste of your time! Allow your creative workers to do this themselves. If you don’t think they’re smart enough, then why did you hire them in the first place?

Will you care that 70% of the change initiatives of your workers are going to fail? You shouldn’t. In fact, informal investors would tell you this statistic is a rather impressive number. They are used to 90% of their startups failing. The world of business has become too unpredictable to plan and roll out top-down change initiatives. Top-down change is too slow and too risky.  By offering your employees a change habitat, you let the crowd do its job for you. Maybe 70% of those changes will fail, but–by offering purpose, autonomy, connectivity, transparency and safety–it is you will likely succeed.

Forbes.com | September 22, 2015 | Jurgen Appelo

 

 

#Leadership : Why this CEO Makes his Executive Team Climb a Mountain that has Claimed more Lives than Everest…CEO Hiroshi “Mickey” Mikitani Has his Leadership Team do Something More Adventurous than Gathering at a Cushy Resort.

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Like a lot of big companies, the Japanese internet giant Rakutenused to host annual offsite retreats where all the executives would meet at a golf course to connect and talk strategy. About seven years ago, that tradition changed radically.  CEO Hiroshi “Mickey” Mikitani tells Business Insider that he now has his leadership team do something more adventurous than gathering at a cushy resort.

Rakuten Tanigawa 4

CEO Hiroshi “Mickey” Mikitani.

Instead, execs now meet on Mount Tanigawa every year, a Japanese mountain that hasclaimed the lives of more climbers than Mount Everest.

Despite that jarring death toll, Mikitani decided to change the company offsite after hiking the mountain with his young son. Although the climb is difficult, some trails, including the one Rakuten employees take, are less dangerous than others.

Mikitani sees the tradition as the perfect way for execs to get to know each other better through a non-conventional bonding experience. Even more importantly, the struggle to make it to the top altogether symbolizes the idea of working through company difficulties as a team.

Rakuten Tanigawa 3RakutenCompany executives climbing through the fog. “Rakuten always goes to the peak,” Mikitani grins.

 

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One other exec who has climbed Mount Tanigawa several times gleefully told Business Insider that he almost died last year when he started sliding on the rocks under his feet. He almost careened off the side of a cliff before managing to grab onto a rock. His teammates and their guide then threw him a rope he used to climb back onto the path.

Rakuten Tanigawa 2 (1)Rakuten

Although the offsite is all about team building and pushing boundaries, another exec jokes that it also acts as a good way for employees to stay in good physical condition through the year.

“The fear keeps you fit,” he laughs, saying that he would remind himself to go to the gym more often in the months leading up to the retreat.

Mikitani recalls one particularly memorable climb where he invited a journalist who planned to profile the company to join the expedition. After a grueling ascent and witnessing how execs continually pushed themselves and each other to the limit to make it to the top, the journalist, between his own tired gasps, apparently said, “Now I finally feel like I understand Rakuten.”

Rakuten Tanigawa 6Rakuten

 

Businessinsider.com | September 21, 2015 |