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Your #Career : 5 Ways To Bounce Back From Criticism At Work… Remember: It’s Not the Critique that Counts – It’s What you Do With It That Has the Power to Change your Life & Inspire the People Around You. If you Can Let that Dust Sit on your Face with Grace, You are a True Professional.

June 1, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

As a career coach, I am all too familiar with the emotional history we carry into our professional lives. Many of my clients come to me with self-imposed, often limiting, ideas about what they are capable of in their careers. As we discuss all of the career avenues available to them, without fail, they offer me a wide variety of unfounded reasons to explain why certain career paths aren’t an option for them. It’s as though they’re expecting to fail and protecting themselves from even having to try in the first place.

I get it. I’ve been there. Even as an entrepreneur, I see it in my world—the same article can invoke a “you’re amazing” response from one person, and “you’re a nightmare” response from another.

So how do we get ahead in such a critical world when taking risks and being vulnerable can feel so raw?

Aristotle says it best: “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

These are a few of the key tips I give my clients to help them push past their fear of feedback:

1. Accept the feedback graciously. First and foremost, listen to the person delivering the feedback. It’s gold, truly. People often think they’re listening when in fact they are anticipating their own response or explanation to the criticism. If the feedback is given in person, take a notepad along and jot some notes down. Hold yourself with confidence and grace and take the feedback like a boss, even if the feedback-giver is less than gentle in its wording. Above all, do not react defensively, and don’t feel obligated to respond. Thank the deliverer for the feedback, express appreciation for their candor, and let them know you will consider their comments and follow up if you need any clarification. This lets them know they’ve been heard, and it leaves the door open for you to follow up with questions, or – if absolutely necessary – an explanation or apology.

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2. Look for the lessons. You are probably familiar with the old saying: “there’s no such thing as a bad experience.” I’ve found this to be true when it comes to professional development… There’s also no such thing as a true “mistake.” Every interaction you have with your colleagues, clients, and peers provides you with an opportunity to learn something about them – their communication styles, body language, word choices, and tone. Most importantly, there’s so much to learn about yourself… What do you notice within yourself when you experience criticism? Do you feel offended? Do you feel less confidence? Your response to criticism is a direct pathway for insight on how you’re doing with your own personal self-esteem. Plus, if you spend the entire feedback session feeling self-conscious or defensive, you miss the chance to be observant and learn. How a person delivers criticism speaks volumes about who they are as a person, and while it could have value for you, separate the energy they’re speaking from away from the actual content they’re sharing. This leads us to No. 3.

3. Check your ego at the door. Occasionally, feedback will be 100% valid and also 100% painful. The ego has a tendency to get very loud in these situations, especially when the delivery was aggressive or hurtful. It’s easy to dismiss the feedback by blaming the messenger: “I would be more willing to consider his opinion if he hadn’t yelled at me while he said it.” While a cruel delivery can be embarrassing, the humiliation we feel is usually just masking a deeper sense of shame that comes from feeling powerless to change. Our ego fights those feelings with arguments like “that’s just who I am,” “he knew this about me when he hired me,” and “he’s too uptight” or “he’s the only one who feels this way.” At the end of the day, letting the ego win – and dismissing all feedback as unjustified – is a complete bar to growth and professional satisfaction. Instead, ask how you can use the experience to grow. How can you use it as a tool to rise and succeed even more? As an entrepreneur, I’m susceptible to harsh feedback—I see it with gratitude… It’s a mechanism and venue for me to grow and better serve my clients… This is how successful people think.

4. Give yourself some processing time to sort through the feedback.After you receive the feedback, take some notes about it. How does it make you feel? Some of it may feel expected and non-painful. But if you have a strong reaction, such as feeling outraged and misunderstood, or completely worthless and beat up, try to identify the sensitivity and any past triggers, meaning times in your life where you felt this familiar pain. This is much more powerful than dismissing the feedback just because it stirs up uncomfortable and confusing emotions. Once you understand whether your pain roots back from any other similar life experiences, you’ll have a better frame of reference to accept the meaningful feedback and dismiss the parts of it that feel inherently off-the-mark or valueless. The ability to have those honest internal conversations with yourself will help you stay humble and strong – as opposed to defensive or weak – in these potentially painful situations.

5. Empower your professional relationships. If you can approach every feedback situation from the mental standpoint that the speaker is coming from a place of good intention, you will be able to emotionally withstand the criticism with dignity. You will learn to use hardship as a platform to build—not burn—bridges. In fact, the way in which you receive feedback is a direct path to how your colleagues respect you moving forward… Surprise them! Having a professional and gracious attitude is empowering to your relationship with the critic. They will remember your grace and feel grateful to you for making it more bearable.

I’ve seen many different reactions to tough feedback in my practice as a career coach. Some clients take on the “I’ll show them” mentality and, without really tapping into their emotions, go overboard trying to prove their superiors wrong. While the approach is less combative than outright defensiveness, it’s no less hostile and counterproductive.

As Roosevelt brilliantly said: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because this is no effort without error and shortcoming …”

In closing, remember: It’s not the critique that counts – it’s what you do with it that has the power to change your life and inspire the people around you.

If you can let that dust sit on your face with grace, you are a true professional.

Ashley Stahl CONTRIBUTOR

I cover careers, job hunting and millennials in the workforce.

Ashley Stahl is a career coach who helps millennials find their purpose, get job offers or launch their dream business. Join her at LandMoreJobOffers.com.

Forbes.com | May 30, 2016

#Leadership : How To Make Yourself Work When You Don’t Want To…With the Holidays Approaching, the High Season for Procrastination is upon Us. It’s Even More Difficult to Get Work Done when you’re Stuck at the Office, Wishing you were Enjoying Time with Family & Friends.

June 1, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Procrastination affects everyone. It sneaks up on most people when they’re tired or bored, but for some, procrastination can be a full-fledged addiction. They avoid all day the work that is right in front of them, only to go home and toil late into the night, frantically trying to finish what they could have easily completed before dinner.

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

With the holidays approaching, the high season for procrastination is upon us. It’s even more difficult to get work done when you’re stuck at the office, wishing you were enjoying time with family and friends.

Still, the procrastination cycle can become crippling at any time of the year, which is troubling, because recent studies show that procrastination magnifies stress, reduces performance, and leads to poor health.

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Psychologists at Case Western Reserve University conducted an interesting experiment where they offered college students a date range instead of a single due date for their papers. The researchers tracked the date that students turned in their papers and compared this to their stress levels and overall health. Students who waited until the last minute to turn in their papers had greater stress and more health issues than others did. They also received worse grades on their papers and in the class overall than students who turned their papers in earlier.

A study published earlier this year by Bishop’s University explored the link between chronic procrastination and stress-related health issues. The researchers found a strong link between procrastination and hypertension and heart disease, as procrastinators experienced greater amounts of stress and were more likely to delay healthy activities, such as proper diet and exercise.

Fighting procrastination teaches us to fully engage in our work, get more creative with it, and, ultimately, get more done.

Procrastination is fueled by excuses. We cannot expect to overcome procrastination and improve our health and productivity until we’re able to overcome the negative mental habits that lead us to procrastinate in the first place.

What follows are the most troubling excuses we use to help us procrastinate. They’re troubling because they’re the most difficult excuses to conquer. For each, I offer preventative strategies so you can overcome procrastination and get productive, even when you don’t feel like working.

“I don’t know where to begin.”

Paradoxically, we often find ourselves frozen like a deer in headlights when confronted with a difficult task. As well, much like deer, the best thing we can do is move in any direction, fast. When a task is particularly difficult, you need all the time you are given to complete it. There’s no sense in wasting valuable time by allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by the complexity of the task.

The key here is to not allow fear of the whole to stop you from engaging in the parts. When something looks too difficult, simply break it down. What can you accomplish in 60 minutes that will help you slay the beast? Then, what can you do in 60 more minutes?

Breaking your task into shorter periods (where effort is guaranteed) allows you to move out of the “deer in headlights” frame of mind. Before you know it, you’ve accomplished something, and the task goes from way too hard to absolutely doable. When it comes to challenging tasks, inactivity is the enemy.

“There are too many distractions.”

For most of us, getting started on a large project is a challenge. We stumble over all sorts of smaller, irrelevant tasks that distract us from the real assignment. We answer emails, make calls, check the news online…anything to avoid the elephant in the room.

Being busy is not the same as being productive. When you find yourself avoiding a particularly sizeable task, slow down and visualize what will happen if you continue to put off the task. Distractions numb you by shifting your attention away from these consequences (a.k.a., away from reality). Reminding yourself of what will happen if you continue procrastinating is a great way to make distractions less enchanting so that you can focus on your work.

“It’s too easy.”

Tasks that are too easy can be surprisingly dangerous, because when you put them off, it’s easy to underestimate how much time they’ll take to complete. Once you finally sit down to work on them, you discover you have not given yourself enough time to complete the task (or at least to complete it well).

If a task is too easy, draw connections to the bigger picture, because these connections turn mundane tasks into a fundamental (and do it now) part of your job. For example, you might hate data entry, but when you think about the role the data plays in the strategic objectives of your department, the task becomes worthwhile. When the smaller, seemingly insignificant things don’t get done or get done poorly, it has a ripple effect that’s felt for miles.

“I don’t like it.”

Procrastination isn’t always about a task being too easy or too hard. Sometimes, you just don’t want to do it. It can be very hard to get moving on a task in which you’re disinterested, much less despise.

Unfortunately, there’s no foolproof way to teach yourself to find something interesting, because certain things will never draw your attention. Rather than pushing these tasks to the back of your plate, make it a rule that you cannot touch any other project or task until you’ve finished the dreaded one. In this way, you are policing yourself by forcing yourself to “eat your vegetables before you can have dessert.”

When you do get started, you can always turn the task into a game. How can you achieve your task more efficiently? How can you change the steps of the process and still produce the same result? Bringing mindfulness to a dreaded task gives you a fresh perspective. The task itself might not be fun, but the game can be.

“I don’t think I can do it.”

You are assigned a new project by your supervisor. In fact, it’s one you’ve wished he or she would give you for a while. However, now that it’s in your lap, you simply cannot get started. You cannot get past thoughts of failure. What’s going to happen if I blow it? How am I going to do this? Could I be fired over this? It can reach a point where avoiding failure seems like the best possible option. After all, if you never engage in a project, you’ll never fail. Right?

Wrong. Procrastination itself is failure—failure to utilize your innate talents and abilities. When you procrastinate, you’re failing to believe in yourself.

Remember when you were learning to drive and you could only look straight ahead, because if you looked at something off the road, you’d unwittingly turn the wheel in that direction? Worrying about everything that might go wrong if you fail has the same effect. It pulls you toward failure.

You must shift your mind in a confident direction by focusing on all the positive things that are going to happen when you succeed. When you believe you can do something—and you visualize the positive things that will come from doing well—you equip yourself to succeed. This thought process gets your mind headed in the right direction. Worrying about everything that could go wrong only binds your hands. Break the chains and get started!

Bringing It All Together

Fighting procrastination teaches us to fully engage in our work, get more creative with it, and, ultimately, get more done.

How do you fight procrastination? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-founded TalentSmart.

Forbes.com | June 1, 2016 | Travis Bradberry

#Leadership : 6 Productive Ways to Spend Your Idle Time…Regardless of your Workload, You are Sure to Have a Few Gaps Here & There. Choose to Spend your Time Wisely & Make Every Second Count.

June 1, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Only the most productive among us see time as it really is: one of our most valuable assets. Perhaps you’re one of the ones who recognize that time has a “limited offer” attached to it; after all, there are only 24 hours in a day. Therefore, you strive to make every single second count.

While downtime is vital for the preservation of our health, you cannot dismiss the fact that there are meaningful activities you can be involved in, even when resting. This takes multitasking to a whole new dimension.

Here are six things you can do in your idle time:

1. Record your goals.
To be successful at anything, you must first set clear goals of what you want to achieve. People who write down their goals are far more likely to achieve them than those who simply think about a goal, or those who have no goal at all.

This will also save you a lot of time in the future. If you use your spare time to clearly record your daily and long-term goals, it will eliminate other distractions and give you an objective to focus on. Hence, time that would otherwise be spent on mindless diversions will be converted into productive time.

As you complete your goals, cross them off your list to give you a greater feeling of accomplishment.

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2. Listen to audio books.
Acquiring new knowledge never loses its value, and we should never really stop learning until we die. The increase in technology has made it convenient to acquire information and with a wide variety of audio books that can be borrowed from the library at no cost or downloaded with the click of a button, you can listen and learn while traveling, exercising, or even relaxing on the beach. It is a simple as having someone read a book for you, at your convenience.

3. Learn another language.
As with audio books, technology has made it quite simple to learn a new language. Gone are the days when it was necessary to sit in a classroom. With CDs, downloads, and podcasts you can begin your journey to becoming bilingual (or multilingual). As an added bonus, knowledge of other languages will make you more marketable.

4. Check up on your loved ones.
Because productive people are often very busy, they may find it difficult to find the time to spend with friends and family. As a matter of fact, it is easy for productive people to become so caught up in the goal of getting ahead that they can forget about their loved loves in the process. Although it may not be possible for you to spend all the time you want with your loved ones, using your idle time to touch base with them over the phone, or even in a handwritten note or card, will help bridge the gap.

5. Get moving.
No matter how busy you are, you need to exercise if you want to live long enough to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Do some squats or lift hand weights while talking on the phone, or use your lunch break to walk around the neighborhood.

6. Give Back
Part of happiness comes from serving others, so instead of watching TV, help someone learn to read, serve dinner in a soup kitchen, or help an elderly person with their errands. These activities are not overly demanding of your time and provide a wealth of rewards.

Regardless of your workload, you are sure to have a few gaps here and there. Choose to spend your time wisely and make every second count.

Entrepreneur.com | May 31, 2016

JACQUELINE WHITMORE

CONTRIBUTOR

Author, Business Etiquette Expert and Founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach

#Leadership : Employee Retention- When Achieving True Success Means Letting Go… It Seems Counterintuitive to Give your Employees Every Opportunity to Leave. But by Helping your Team stay Engaged in their Role, Aligned in their Personal & Professional Goals, & allowing Them to Leave if it Isn’t a Good Fit, you’ll Ensure that Those who Choose to Stay Will be Committed to Doing their Best Work for You, for a Long Time to Come.

May 31, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

The war for talent. The age-old battle waged by HR teams across the country, each vying to secure and retain the best people to help them achieve organizational success. The eternal effort to create systems, process, and benefits to help keep them once you’ve recruited them.

At the epicenter of the war for talent resides the tech industry, where many talented engineers and other highly-skilled workers have no problem jumping to another employer for a minor bump in pay or benefits. The result? Companies are forever trying to outshine each other with baubles, beer kegs and nap pods to try to entice this demographic to join them.

What this approach fails to do is inspire loyalty. Despite all the money that these companies pour into perks, at the end of the day, it’s just job hopping.

A Better Way to Retain Talent

What if, rather than doing everything possible to keep people no matter what, you took an alternative approach? That’s exactly what Rami Essaid, co-founder and CEO of Distil Networks, has done.

“It’s almost a fool’s errand to try to hold onto people,” Essaid suggests. “Why work to retain people when the only solution becomes offering more outrageous benefits? It’s an unsustainable cycle where people end up leaving anyway. Why not rethink the way work is designed where we acknowledge people are going to move around over the course of their careers?”

And Essaid has some first-hand experience with this phenomenon. His Silicon Valley-based cybersecurity firm helps customers identify and block malicious website traffic while letting legitimate users do what they need to do. Distil is able to find the “bots” that attack websites and police them before they can do damage to your brand.

The success of the company over the last five years has resulted in the rapid expansion of his team, now 150 strong. Here are some of Rami’s secrets to success:

Be intentional about the culture you are creating from the start.Rami started Distil Networks with a small group of longtime friends and many of their initial hires included additional friends from their social circles. “This had the potential to create a dynamic of ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ based on whether or not you were a personal friend or not, so we made a very intentional choice that we were going to build a company where everyone was treated with a kinship and in a transparent and honest way,” Essaid explained.

The founders of Distil took care to create a fundamental way of working together that was deeply rooted in the values that they shared as a result of this friendship. And by extending those values out to the team as they grew, they were able to keep the same feeling and way of operating over the years.

Really commit to providing developmental opportunities. “We are constantly investing in our employees.” Essaid described how Distil Networks takes great care in providing robust and comprehensive development to its employees. Be it executive coaching support, job rotations to different functional areas, or training and development, this approach aligns with Essaid’s belief that the company can play a role in helping people achieve their own personal definition of success.

Helping people to grow professionally and personally plays a significant role in ensuring that Distil is the right place for them at that time in their journey. And, if it turns out that a great opportunity presents itself outside of Distil, trying to hold people back is not in anyone’s best interest.

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Structure career progression to include lateral mobility.Organizations that only afford career progression through promotion to levels of management dramatically limits opportunities. By finding ways to move people across the organization, Distil Networks has found another way to help provide people with the maximum opportunity for development.

Help people spread their wings and prosper, even if that means leaving your company. This is based on a few of the fundamental beliefs and assumptions that the leaders at Distil Networks hold to be true about the world of business. If people leave to pursue opportunities that present massive growth and development potential, keeping them would only hinder them. By letting them go forth and prosper, the company helps them succeed while also ensuring that the remaining workforce is in their place of most potential, doing their best work. If this is the case, Distil will become a much more attractive place to work—for the right people at the right time.

Essaid believes that helping people figure out their path and providing plenty of opportunities to achieve their vision of success is a much more productive, positive and effective cycle than trying to keep people who are not in their “zone” employed for as long as possible until they wind up leaving anyway.

Distil’s method doesn’t come without its challenges. Essaid is the first to admit that it can sometimes be difficult to get people to really think about, or articulate, where they want to go in life and in their careers. But this is not unique to Distil by any stretch.

It is incumbent upon leaders to both develop their own coaching skills and understand and acknowledge that some employees may have given little to no critical thought to their more long-term career goals. In these situations, engaging in frequent developmental coaching discussions can help guide employees in their progress so that they can be more intentional about setting and achieving their goals.

You can’t keep everyone around forever. As Richard Bach famously said, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” It seems counterintuitive to give your employees every opportunity to leave. But by helping your team stay engaged in their role, aligned in their personal and professional goals, and allowing them to leave if it isn’t a good fit, you’ll ensure that those who choose to stay will be committed to doing their best work for you, for a long time to come.

Chris Cancialosi, Ph.D., is a Partner and Founder at gothamCulture.

Forbes.com | May 31, 2016 | Chris Cancialosi

#Leadership : How To Master Your Remote Work Job Interview…A Killer Candidate will Always be One Step Ahead of the Interviewer. The Real Skill is to Take the Time to Prepare for Conversations that Will Allow you to Address the Points Above as You Detail your Work Experience.

May 30, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

A job interview is a pretty challenging experience. You have to impress. You have to display a personality that will bring untold value to your potential employer. You have to stand out from an ocean of candidates who want the job as badly as you do.

Now imagine having to overcome those hurdles on a Skype call or Google Hangout in an entirely different timezone, and possibly hundreds (if not thousands) of kilometers away. Interviewing for a remote work opportunity presents a whole new layer of challenges that are centered around visibility and autonomy. These are traits that you have to exhibit in an office environment, but they’re much more heightened when management can’t tangibly see you at your desk every single day.

If you’re hoping to secure a remote work position and really want to stand out, consider these tips for giving a killer interview. Here’s what the hiring manager is going to want to see and hear during your interview process:

Before the interview

It’s important to assume that your interview starts the moment you submit a resume, portfolio, or body of work. Granted your work may look good and perfectly fit the organization’s functional need for your skills, but does the submitted content answer questions about your viability as a remote work candidate?

If you have previous freelance or full-time remote work experience, then it’ll be obvious to point that out. If you don’t have that experience but feel you’re a fit for the role, then make sure there’s ample language in your cover letter, resume or portfolio that really drives home your ability to work independently and across a virtual team. You don’t have to go into detail (the next point will explain why), but you will want to show on a high-level that:

You will be present despite multiple timezones.
You will bring in processes (personal and collaborative) that will be positive to a distributed workforce.
You are incredibly organized and accountable for your tasks.
You conduct your own quality assurance on deliverables before soliciting feedback from others on your team.
You are a clear communicator and fantastic listener.
You make use of technology to minimize the feeling of distance.

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During the interview

Your hiring documents will give a taste of what you bring to the team, but storytelling will be crucial throughout the verbal interview process to reassure the hiring manager that you can work remotely.

This is your opportunity to discuss concrete examples of how autonomous and organized you can be. Don’t just talk about your ability to produce great work, be explicit about the production process you encountered or were responsible for designing. When you talk about achievements in projects or initiatives be sure to point out the following:

Were multiple people involved in the project? Where they all located in one building?
How do you personally organize yourself around new projects? What are your usual run of events to kick-off a new effort?
What did you work on individually, and what did you work on in collaboration?
What existing processes were used to move the project forward, and what new ones were created as the team progressed through tasks? Be sure to point out team check-ins, status updates, and other communication processes.
What tools did you or your team use to capture feedback and track progress?
What mistakes were made? No project is perfect, so how did you right the ship?

After the interview

As is customary, make sure you send a note at least 24-hours after the session to thank the interviewer for their time. This is also a chance to attach any new or additional information that display your ability to work well remotely; and in turn, convince the hiring manager to make a much more confident decision on your candidacy.

So what can you send over? Consider the following (and double check you aren’t sharing sensitive information):

A quick process map or sketch to outline how a particular project unfolded. This can help to elaborate on how your efforts helped to produce great work, and it’s a tangible way to point out team check-ins and organizational skills.
Examples of tools you use individually or in a team to communicate and capture progress. If your employer is considering tools that you have used before, then share your perspective on what makes that particular tool great or difficult to use especially in a virtual work context.

Always prepare to be a step ahead

A killer candidate will always be one step ahead of the interviewer. The real skill is to take the time to prepare for conversations that will allow you to address the points above as you detail your work experience. Employers who hire remotely will be impressed by candidates who bring peace of mind to the organization even if they are physically removed from the rest of the team. Your ultimate goal is to remove any doubt from your candidacy as a distributed team member and show them that you are on top of your stuff.

I regularly write about the Future Of Work. Get in touch with me here: @kaviguppta.

Forbes.com | May 30, 2016 | Kavi Guppta

#Leadership : 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before you Start Dating a Coworker… Since about One-Third of Human Life is Spent Working, it’s Not Unreasonable that Romances Occur in the Office

May 29, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We’ve all seen, experienced, or thought about office romances. Some say they’re a terrible idea (people might gossip, or things can get awkward at work if the relationship goes sour) — while others believe they make perfect sense (you’re with these people eight hours a day, and you know you have at least one thing in common). But what’s the real deal with interoffice dating?

Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job,” says she hears this question all the time, and shared her thoughts on the topic with Business Insider.

“Modern thinking is that you spend so much time in the office and online that those are the most likely places you will meet Mr. or Ms. Right,” says Taylor. “Occasionally you’ll hear: the gym, supermarket, or Starbucks, because those may be the only other places you even have time to escape to outside the busy office these days.”

But since about one-third of human life is spent working, it’s not unreasonable that romances occur in the office, she adds. “And this is time spent with people we know — theoretically they’re not ax murderers.”

A survey from CareerBuilder revealed that nearly 40% of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker, and almost one-third of office relationships result in marriage.

“Considering that there are some eight billion people on the planet, some question why anyone would choose an office mate for romance, with all the potential gossip, possibility of a job nightmare if things go south, terminations, and maybe even a lawsuit as icing on the cake,” Taylor explains.

But the fact of the matter is: Nobody knows when true love will strike. “It could happen in the break room just as easily as it could at your cousin’s wedding or at the tire store,” Taylor says. “Why put arbitrary parameters on something so important? Certainly there are endless cases of coworkers who have found love in the workplace and moved on to marry and live happily ever after.”

Ultimately, she says, the success of this path will depend on you, your partner, boss, workplace, and many other variables. And it’s up to you to decide whether the pros outweigh the cons — or if you’re better off steering clear of an office romance.

Before you flip the switch, here’s what you need to ask yourself:

1. Is this person in a direct supervisory or subordinate position?

If they are, stay away.

“Problems can result from dating a person in a subordinate or superior position,” says Taylor.

If your boss (who happens to be your partner) takes you to lunch or promotes you, people will claim it’s based on favoritism — not merit. (And it’s also a problem if you deserve to be promoted but your significant other doesn’t offer you the position because they fear people will think it’s an act of favoritism.)

“Also, remember this: If things go sour in your relationship with a subordinate, there may a claim of sexual harassment or hostile work environment,” she explains.

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2. What is the company’s policy on this?

“The variation on corporate practices is so broad that you have employers with lenient policies, strict policies, and no policies, even at Fortune 500-sized companies,” Taylor says.

Some firms make a conscious choice not to incorporate them into their general “sexual harassment” policy. “Policy or no policy, lovehappens. So in the absence of written rules and/or in the interpretation of them, there’s one common barometer: your common sense. That must always prevail.”

3. How closely do I work with this person?

Keeping your distance in another department, floor, or building will help keep things less awkward, messy, and challenging. “And if you are ever in a competitive situation, it takes that element out of the fray, too,” she adds.

4. Can I envision this relationship working?

Nobody can predict the viability of a relationship, but you should take time to envision it.

“Is it completely unrealistic? Do you have a lot in common? It could happen that spending time in a romantic relationship that began at work will bring you closer together because you share a common interest and can be a sounding board for each other. Only you can weigh whether you see more overall upside potential than downside,” Taylor says.

5. Have I considered the consequences?

Could this be a career-limiting move? Would I hate working here if things didn’t work out? Will I ruin relationships with friends in the office?

It’s hard to think about the relationship ending or how it might hurt your career when you’re newly in love and distracted by butterflies. But, it’s important that you carefully think about the pros and cons; the ramifications on your job and reputation, Taylor says.

“If things fall apart, to what extent could your career potentially be jeopardized? How much of your personal life could be the ‘keynote topic’ at the water cooler? Could your real thoughts about the new CEO get back to her just in time for your next review? Imagine that that one of you decides to move on — what would it be like to see that person every day?”

If these potential consequences make you feel uneasy or worried about your professional future, you probably shouldn’t pursue the relationship.

6. Am I prepared to disclose the details of my relationship to my employer?

Some employee handbooks require you to describe the nature of your relationship in writing. Specifically, you could be asked whether there’s a conflict of interest with an employee (even independent contractors, clients, and vendors), Taylor explains.

“The employer’s goal is full transparency, your consent, and protection for employees and others from future allegations,” she says. “You may be warned verbally, or in a handbook or both, that anything interfering with work getting done can result in termination. So this is the fun part.”

7. Can we be discreet?

Only you and your partner know how you’ll handle this romantic adventure, e.g., if you’ll be bubbling over with excitement to the point where it could damage your concentration, distract others, or generally get in the way of your advancement.

“Every situation is different, but what matters is how both of you plan to navigate the tricky waters, and how your respective managers and fellow employees react,” Taylor says.

8. What would happen if they get promoted?

Now the rules change. You could suddenly be dating your supervisor, or just someone in management who has a direct or indirect say in decisions that affect your job, she explains. “Just assume you’ve inherited another layer of risk, with a boss/employee relationship being the worst outcome of all.”

Businessinsider.com | May 29, 2016 | Jacquelyn Smith

Your #Career : 5 Ways To Know It’s Time To Quit Your Job…Being Unhappy at Work is the Worst. That’s No Way to Spend the Day. If that Sounds Like You Maybe it’s Time you Look for a New Opportunity & Quit your Job.

May 29, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

If you want to look for a new opportunity hit up your network of friends in real life and connections on social media. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account yet now is the perfect time to create one. Just remember that before you quit your job figure out what your next step is because life without a paycheck can be scary.

If the sound of your alarm clock sets you into snooze mode…and you really don’t care that it’s after 9 am and you’re still in bed take a minute and ask yourself why. Maybe it’s because you’re not a morning person, maybe it’s because everyone can use an extra 15 minutes of sleep or maybe it’s because you want to quit your job.

Being unhappy at work is the worst. It makes the days long and has you impatiently waiting for 5 p.m. That’s no way to spend the day. If that sounds like you maybe it’s time you look for a new opportunity and quit your job.

Here are some tell tale signs it’s time to quit your job:

You Don’t Give 110%

If you’re used to giving your all every single day at work then giving anything less than a perfect performance probably makes you feel really bad about yourself. Once your will to work hard is gone it’s hard to get it back. A change of scenery may be just what you need to get your groove back.

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You’re Not Interested In What’s Coming Next

If your job has become just about the paycheck you probably need to quit. We all work because we need money, but it’s important to have something to look forward to. If you don’t picture yourself at your job in three or six months then it’s time to find a new opportunity.

Goals Don’t include Working Towards A Promotion

Staying motivated and working towards the next best thing is an important part of advancing your career. If you don’t see a future for yourself at your current workplace it’s time to find a place where you will want to be better, learn new skills and move up the ladder.

Not Satisfied

If you find yourself doing your own thing on the side it may be time to turn that into a full time job and go into business for yourself. Ask yourself why youstarted a side hustle. Maybe it’s becuase you wanted to learn a new skill, maybe it’s because you need extra money or maybe it’s because it’s time to quit your job.

You’re Not Interested In Making Friends At Work

Workplace culture is so important because we spend eight hours – sometimes more – with our co-workers. If you find yourself sitting alone at lunch and not enjoying the social aspect of your job it may be time to move on to bigger and better things. Try to keep a positive attitude because negativity is noticed and you don’t want to be asked to leave. If you want to go it’s better that it’s on your own terms.

If you want to look for a new opportunity hit up your network of friends in real life and connections on social media. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account yet now is the perfect time to create one. Just remember that before you quit your job figure out what your next step is because life without a paycheck can be scary.

Forbes.com | May 29, 2016 | Ginger Dean

#Leadership : 14 Signs your Employees Secretly Hate You…If you’ve Been Labeled a “Bad Boss,” you’ll Probably Be the Last to Know.

May 29, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

“Your staff will be very adept at making it a well-kept secret because they will do everything to keep their job security intact,” says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.”

“But if you decide to boost your emotional-intelligence radar and look for subtle signs that your team may be unhappy, you’ll uncover a wealth of actionable feedback.”

Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage,” agrees that it’s important to know how your employees feel about you. When they don’t like you, there are consequences, he says. For instance, they’ll be less happy and more stressed (which affects things like their productivity and creativity); they may quit on you (which will cost you and your company time and money); they may give you bad reviews or complain to HR (which puts your job in jeopardy); and you’ll have trouble earning their respect, being viewed as credible, and getting them to listen to your opinions.

“Your goal as a manager is not to be liked by everyone; if it is, you won’t be making the best decisions for the company,” says Taylor. “But if you’re an insensitive manager, no amount of intelligence or business skills will ever take you far in your own career advancement. You will always need a strong team and following to thrive in your career.”

So to avoid having to deal with those consequences, among many others, you’ll need to recognize the signs and make changes to your behavior, attitude, and approach to leading.

Here are 14 subtle signs your employees may secretly hate you:

You’ve got a (bad) gut feeling.

Soon/flickr

“The very first sign that things are going awry in your relationships with employees is a general gnawing feeling that you can’t put your finger on,” Taylor says. “No manager can be liked by everyone, but there are far too many bosses who are not respected by enough of their staff.” If you’ve got that gut feeling something is off, be aware and start looking for other signs.

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They can’t maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

Bradley Gordon

It’s difficult for an employee who is angry to look you straight in the eye, says Taylor. “They’re afraid that you may be able to detect hostility, so the path of least resistance is for them to look away or avoid being around you wherever possible.”

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

Andy Morales/flickr

If you notice they take the stairs every time you’re waiting for the elevator, or they manage their schedules in such a way that they rarely overlap with your primary work hours, that’s a good sign they’re avoiding you. And employees typically only avoid people who intimidate them or who they don’t like, says Kerr.

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

Flickr/Laura Taylor

Having an employee who goes on “stress leave” or constantly calls in sick could be a sign that they are not comfortable working under your direction, Kerr explains.

“Your employee(s) may not be showing up at work as often, may come to work late, leave early, or are just seemingly never at their desks, because of long, needed breaks,” adds Taylor. “Leaving the scene can take many forms — and it’s a common way that your staff copes with stress. A bad boss-employee relationship is a leading cause of stress and illness,” she says.

They don’t smile around you.

Flickr / Leo Hidalgo

We’re not talking about the occasional bad day or mood swing. If one or more of your employees seem to look miserable every time they’re around you — but you’ve seen them smiling while talking to others in the office — something isn’t right.

“It’s difficult for any employee to put on a happy face when they’re talking to someone they [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][dislike],” says Taylor.

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

Daniel Goodman / Business Insider

Not smiling when they’re around you is one thing — but clamming up when you step into the office kitchen or conference room is a pretty strong sign that your employees reallydon’t like you and don’t consider you part of their inner circle, Kerr says.

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

Flickr/sunshinecity

You may not be the reason for this (so many things affect one’s level of motivation or enthusiasm at work) — but you could be.

“If their level of enthusiasm has waned, and you’re not seeing your staff jump at the opportunity to help out on new or existing projects anymore, it may be a sign you’re disliked,” says Taylor.

They never invite you to social events.

Flickr / beyrouth

If your employees don’t include you in any after-work social events or happy hours, it very well may be because they don’t want to spend any more time with you than they absolutely have to.

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

Shutterstock

“Your unhappy employees may change the way they communicate with you, such as through email, voicemail, or IM, instead of in-person communications,” Taylor explains. “You may detect less personal contact, so that there is less of an opportunity for potential confrontation.”

They’re short with you.

Vancouver Film School/flickr

If you ask, “How’s it going?” and they always respond with “Ok” or “Fine” — or if their emails to always get straight to the point, and never begin with a friendly “Hello” or “Good afternoon,” this may be a sign they’re not a huge fan of you.

“If your employees are beginning to sound like your moody teenager, then that’s a pretty big red flag,” says Kerr.

They give off negative body language.

YouTube

Whether it’s a subtle eye roll or constantly assuming a closed-off position with arms folded across their chest, your employees’ body language will often reveal their true feelings towards you, Kerr says.

Their door is always closed.

A National Acrobat/flickr

“Many employees don’t have the luxury of their own office these days, but if they do, and their door appears closed more often than not, they may be commiserating with friends, family, or even other colleagues,” Taylor says. “They may be seeking advice, or worse, checking out greener pastures.”

They constantly disagree with you.

Leonid Mamchenkov/flickr

“Not all employees shy away from confronting the personality clashes as they pertain to business, thankfully,” says Taylor. “You may find that your staff seems increasingly more difficult and disagreeable, whereas before you were never questioned. This may be because before, they tolerated a more dictatorial management style — but now they’ve realized that they have nothing to lose by challenging you, in the hopes that they will see changes.”

They resign for no good reason.

YouTube/Marina Shifrin

Scads of surveys indicate that “the boss” still ranks as a top reason for employees leaving a job. If they don’t provide a good excuse or reason for leaving, there’s a good chance it’s you.

Businessinsider.com | September 2, 2016 | Jacquelyn Smith

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#Leadership : 5 Keys To Managing A Mobile Workforce…Despite Worldwide Turmoil, Growth is still Very Much Happening on the Global Front. Companies are Expanding into New Regions & Deepening their Presence in Existing Ones. The Challenge is Building a Workforce Rapidly & Effectively.

May 28, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

The challenge is building a workforce rapidly and effectively. It’s never been that simple, but moving your talent where it’s needed the most adds far more complexity — and we’re in an era when competition for talent and skills is at its peak.

Add that all up and you’ve got a renewed mandate to focus on mobility as part of your talent strategy. Whether overseas or intra-national, the companies that mandate that mobility is part of their HR strategy are going to see the results . They’ll see the most growth, performance, succession and leadership development and — critically — retention. You might call it putting your money where the mobility is.

Five Keys To Consider:

Make it future-focused: An organization’s talent strategy should focus well into the future. Depending on what it does, are there plans to expand? Are there international markets to expand into? The failsafe should be to assume yes: You will need to move a workforce. It will likely involve an international assignment. Among those on the rise: the BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) as well as the UAE and Qatar. All are clearly hot spots for talent, and the trend is projected to not only continue but increase by another 50% by 2020.

Develop a local successor chain. What enables an organization to succeed in new locations isn’t just a matter of shipping a select group to the new office and putting them to work. According to a survey report from EY/ Harvard Business Review Analytic Services, the top benefit of having a global mobility strategy in place was being able to develop local successors — 55% of top performing companies who responded noted that. Also note that global mobility strategies had a clear positive impact on retaining talent, growing new business, and also financial performance for 65% of the companies surveyed.

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Cover the bases. Retention is a sharper issue still when factors include relocation. The challenge is not just to reallocate the workforce where you need it, but keep them happy as well. A drain of talent, particularly before contracts are up, could be devastating. Cover logistics and legalities (there may be different labor laws and regulations). Provide dedicated support: with visas; with finding safe, secure and comfortable housing and family support; with the host country’s customs, cultural differences and etiquette. There’s also the issue of the organizational culture, which may be different overseas, given the workforce. Enable everyone to embrace it, and (here’s a concept) make mobility and globalism part of its fabric.

Concentrate on the willing, ready and able. Not all are going to be willing or able to move overseas or travel frequently as they spearhead international efforts. PriceWaterhouseCoopers research of millennials found that 38% were interested in pursuing career opportunities with the firm overseas. But another PWC study found that 70% of millennials wanted or expected that they would take an overseas assignment at some point in their careers.

Make sure the door is open when they come back. Re-entry after an overseas assignment can be rocky to say the least. According to a survey byBrookfield Global Relocation, 38% of returnees quit within 12 months — and that figure hadn’t changed for three decades as of 2010. Your employee now has international experience and may well have outgrown their previous title, and the organization’s own expectations may not align with this increase in experience. Well before they are due back, start working towards facilitating not only their return, but retention. Capitalize on their professional growth with an appropriate position, or you may lose them to a firm who better recognizes their value.

The 24/7, hyper-connected and endlessly networked culture of the new workplace dovetails with the profound expansion into a global economy, which means that streams of talent are going to be moving back and forth as needed. In this situation, there’s one irrefutable bottom line: Yes, this is about mobilizing talent. But it’s also about altering the course and root of people’s lives. We’re all working to increase employee engagement and retention. It’s likely best to remember that.

Forbes.com | May 21, 2016 | Meghan M. Biro

#Leadership : What To Do When You Catch A Liar…Research Shows we Can only Spot a Liar 53% of the Time. Learn How to Handle that Tricky Moment When you Catch a Liar in the Act.

May 25, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

It’s a hard fact to accept, but your friends and coworkers lie to you regularly. The real challenge lies in how you respond once you catch someone in the act.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

Even though most people lie a lot–roughly two to three times during a ten-minute conversation, studies show–you don’t catch them nearly as often as you might think. Researchers from the University of California analyzed the results of 253 studies and found that we only spot about half the lies we’re told (53% to be exact). In other words, we’re about as likely to identify a lie as we are to win a coin toss.

The scary thing is that people who are trained in detecting deception–judges, customs agents, law enforcement officers, and even CIA agents–don’t fare much better. They can only spot a lie about 60% of the time.

When you do catch someone lying to you, it’s usually a real whopper. These are the kinds of lies that are so insulting to be the recipient that it’s hard to think straight. In these moments, you want to keep the conversation constructive, without letting the liar off the hook, which is a difficult thing to pull off.

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And what about the times when you have a nagging sense that you’re being lied to but aren’t certain and don’t want to come across as paranoid or accusatory? While too much skepticism is never healthy, a small dose can be a very good thing, especially since we’re so poor at recognizing lies.

The question always becomes, what do you do with a lie? If you think someone is lying to you, do you call them on it? Do you tell someone else? Or do you just go along to get along?

There are actually several things you can do, and the right one, or the right combination, depends on the situation.

First, make certain you understand the rules. Before you decide what course of action to take, check the employee handbook and consider the recent history of similar situations. If you’re going to call someone out, you need to know what you’re getting yourself and the liar into. Know the severity of the consequences for lying, and make certain you follow proper protocol for addressing it, or the entire thing could backfire on you.

Option #1: Do nothing.

Nobody likes being lied to, and the natural reaction is to call the liar out, but that’s not always the smartest thing to do, especially at work. Before you do anything, ask yourself, ‘What’s at stake besides my ego?’ Carefully weigh the pros and cons before you take action. Consider who, if anyone, should know about the lie and the implications it has for the company. Sometimes, the animosity you avoid by staying silent is worth more than the satisfaction you receive from speaking out. Other times, the lie is serious enough that people have to know.

Option #2: Deflect with humor.

Some lies are too big to ignore completely, yet too small to make a big deal out of. When this happens, you can always make a joke of it. Playful comments that acknowledge the lie will usually do the trick. Whether it’s “Hey, I think I just saw your nose grow a little bit” or “I need to get my prescription checked. When I looked at the scorecard, it said you shot 112,” this strategy gives the liar a chance to admit their slip-up without fear of reprisal. The key to making this tactic work is to give the impression that the other person was kidding around or intentionally exaggerating and never expected to be believed.

Option #3: Play dumb.

Another way to let someone save face–and this is particularly appropriate for group settings–is to play dumb. Pretend you suddenly suffered a memory lapse or are confused about the facts. Ask lots of follow-up questions. The more details you request, the more likely it is that the truth will come out. Drawing it out gives the liar a chance to admit that they “misspoke” and correct themselves without being called a liar.

Option #4: Call them on it.

In situations where doing nothing isn’t a good option, you can always call the liar out. You just need to think carefully about the best way to do this, and impulsively bashing them is never a smart move. You may choose to have a conversation with the liar in private or with others whom the lie affects. In either case, it’s important you have evidence that backs up your claim, or you very well may be called a liar yourself. Just make certain you are honest and direct with the person who lied. Don’t go to others with the lie when you know it’s better handled privately between you and the liar.

There are many times when reporting a lie is the right thing to do, both ethically and practically. Sometimes, not reporting a lie can cost you your job. However, there are a few things you need to think about before you take that step. First, question your motives. Are you thinking of telling someone about the lie out of concern that either another employee or the company could be harmed, or are you just mad? If it’s the latter, you run the risk of making yourself look petty; if it’s the former, stick to the facts. Don’t offer any hypotheses about why the person may be lying because that’s just supposition on your part. Stick to what the person said, what the truth is, and any proof you have collected.

Not optional: Protect yourself. Whether you decide to call a lie or to let it go, once you know you’re dealing with a liar, it’s critical to take steps to protect yourself. One way to do that is to have a witness attest to what the liar said. Failing this, interact with the liar via email or text, both of which create a written record. Though if you’re dealing with a particularly savvy liar, they’re not going to commit to anything in writing. In that case, document the conversation yourself: who, what, when, where, etc., and cap it off by sending your lying colleague an e-mail summarizing the conversation. That’s not as good as having proof in the other person’s words, but at least you’ll be able to make the argument that your colleague had the opportunity to correct you.

Bringing It All Together

Some people tell infrequent lies to make themselves look good or to protect themselves. Others are pros. They’ve been doing it their whole careers, they’re good at it, and they’ve learned how to avoid getting caught. That’s why there’s no single solution that works in every situation. The best thing to do is to carefully consider your options, thinking through the pros and cons of each course of action.

How do you handle liars? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

PUBLISHED ON: MAY 25, 2016

Inc.com |

BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY

Author, ‘Emotional Intelligence 2.0’@talentsmarteq