#YourCareer : The Psychology Of Persuasion: Get What You Want More Often. Communication is Critical to Successful Negotiations.

Psychology has become increasingly mainstream in recent years, with enormous attention being paid to how our psychologies, often unconsciously, influence how we behave in professional spaces as well.

The relevance of psychology to negotiation is especially important. On the surface, it may appear that we are negotiating prices, terms and conditions but it really all comes down to the need for both parties to come to one shared opinion or solution. That said, in negotiation it’s critical to understand the psychology behind opinions. This can form the foundation for a successful outcome.

Understanding Attitudes

In the research, psychologists will often refer to opinions as “attitudes.” In this context, an attitude can be anything from a strong moral conviction around a particular social issue, to a preference for one brand of coffee over the other. Attitudes are important for two reasons: they can be durable and they influence behavior.

Sticking to the coffee example, generally speaking people tend to have fairly strong opinions about the beverage. Usually, people either love it or hate it, and coffee drinkers typically have a preference for a particular blend or brand. A daily Starbucks drinker may have a particularly durable attitude, meaning it could be difficult to persuade them to switch to McDonalds or Tim Hortons on their morning commute. Similarly, there may be hints of influence as well. When out of town or traveling, they may find themselves seeking a Starbucks or even purchasing Starbucks brand instant coffee at the grocery store.

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Why Strength Matters

Not all opinions or attitudes are equal. While a particular attitude can influence behavior, it’s the strength of the attitude that will determine how much influence it will ultimately have.

Politics is a good example. If a citizen has a strong attitude in favor of a candidate, there is a higher chance that they will actually vote for them. If their attitude is weak, they may show a preference in conversations (or on surveys) but not actually take the action to vote that candidate into office.

This thought process applies to almost all attitudes, so in negotiations it’s important to uncover your counterpart’s attitudes and the strength of each one. This information can help negotiators identify which opinions are flexible and can be addressed and which should be avoided due to their durability.

Using the Right Language

Communication is critical to successful negotiations, and using the right language is equally important to navigating attitudes and opinions. Talking the same “language” is necessary to reaching an agreement. This means looking beyond the superficial opinions on a topic, and finding the underlying attitudes that align.

For example, let’s say two people sit down. One chooses to consume dairy as a part of their diet and the other person does not. On the surface, it may appear that they disagree. That said, perhaps there is a shared attitude around the importance of health and feeling good. Person A avoids dairy because it makes them feel bloated and ultimately they don’t believe it’s healthy for their system. Person B consumes dairy because they see it as a nutritious and healthy part of a diet that will keep them strong.

Talking the “health” language may help bring these two individuals to a common resolution, as opposed to focusing on the surface topic of dairy—where they disagree.

Incorporating Empathy

Empathy is a super-power, and using it to understand attitudes in negotiation will almost always improve outcomes. Once again, it all starts with asking questions to identify what attitudes and opinions your counterpart possesses, and how strong each of those attitudes are. Core attitudes are more durable, so it may not be worth attempting to dissuade people away from them; however, it’s still possible to demonstrate empathy for why they feel so strongly. For weaker opinions, in the process of moving towards a common resolution, incorporating empathy can be key. Allow empathy to help you explore your counterpart’s perspective and what they are truly looking to accomplish through these negotiations.

Attitudes and opinions play a huge role in the everyday behaviors of individuals, making them necessary to consider for successful negotiations and conflict resolution. Begin by asking questions and taking time to understand where your counterpart has strong attitudes and where there may be flexibility to begin moving toward a common ground.

Forbes.com | March 13, 2022 | Kwame Christian