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#YourCareer : The Psychology Of Persuasion: Get What You Want More Often. Communication is Critical to Successful Negotiations.

Psychology has become increasingly mainstream in recent years, with enormous attention being paid to how our psychologies, often unconsciously, influence how we behave in professional spaces as well.

The relevance of psychology to negotiation is especially important. On the surface, it may appear that we are negotiating prices, terms and conditions but it really all comes down to the need for both parties to come to one shared opinion or solution. That said, in negotiation it’s critical to understand the psychology behind opinions. This can form the foundation for a successful outcome.

Understanding Attitudes

In the research, psychologists will often refer to opinions as “attitudes.” In this context, an attitude can be anything from a strong moral conviction around a particular social issue, to a preference for one brand of coffee over the other. Attitudes are important for two reasons: they can be durable and they influence behavior.

Sticking to the coffee example, generally speaking people tend to have fairly strong opinions about the beverage. Usually, people either love it or hate it, and coffee drinkers typically have a preference for a particular blend or brand. A daily Starbucks drinker may have a particularly durable attitude, meaning it could be difficult to persuade them to switch to McDonalds or Tim Hortons on their morning commute. Similarly, there may be hints of influence as well. When out of town or traveling, they may find themselves seeking a Starbucks or even purchasing Starbucks brand instant coffee at the grocery store.

 

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Why Strength Matters

Not all opinions or attitudes are equal. While a particular attitude can influence behavior, it’s the strength of the attitude that will determine how much influence it will ultimately have.

Politics is a good example. If a citizen has a strong attitude in favor of a candidate, there is a higher chance that they will actually vote for them. If their attitude is weak, they may show a preference in conversations (or on surveys) but not actually take the action to vote that candidate into office.

This thought process applies to almost all attitudes, so in negotiations it’s important to uncover your counterpart’s attitudes and the strength of each one. This information can help negotiators identify which opinions are flexible and can be addressed and which should be avoided due to their durability.

Using the Right Language

Communication is critical to successful negotiations, and using the right language is equally important to navigating attitudes and opinions. Talking the same “language” is necessary to reaching an agreement. This means looking beyond the superficial opinions on a topic, and finding the underlying attitudes that align.

For example, let’s say two people sit down. One chooses to consume dairy as a part of their diet and the other person does not. On the surface, it may appear that they disagree. That said, perhaps there is a shared attitude around the importance of health and feeling good. Person A avoids dairy because it makes them feel bloated and ultimately they don’t believe it’s healthy for their system. Person B consumes dairy because they see it as a nutritious and healthy part of a diet that will keep them strong.

Talking the “health” language may help bring these two individuals to a common resolution, as opposed to focusing on the surface topic of dairy—where they disagree.

Incorporating Empathy

Empathy is a super-power, and using it to understand attitudes in negotiation will almost always improve outcomes. Once again, it all starts with asking questions to identify what attitudes and opinions your counterpart possesses, and how strong each of those attitudes are. Core attitudes are more durable, so it may not be worth attempting to dissuade people away from them; however, it’s still possible to demonstrate empathy for why they feel so strongly. For weaker opinions, in the process of moving towards a common resolution, incorporating empathy can be key. Allow empathy to help you explore your counterpart’s perspective and what they are truly looking to accomplish through these negotiations.

Attitudes and opinions play a huge role in the everyday behaviors of individuals, making them necessary to consider for successful negotiations and conflict resolution. Begin by asking questions and taking time to understand where your counterpart has strong attitudes and where there may be flexibility to begin moving toward a common ground.

 

Forbes.com | March 13, 2022 | Kwame Christian

#Strategy : Former FBI Hostage-Negotiation Trainer Shares 6 Tricks for Getting People to Do What you Want…When you’re Trying to Persuade People, more Often than Not they Feel you’re Being Pushy. When you Focus on Influencing Them, They’re much Less Defensive & Open to Hearing What you Have to Say.

Mark Goulston spent two years role-playing for a living. He’d pretend to be a suicidal policeman, holding a gun to his neck, threatening to take his own life.  His job was to challenge his audience — a room full of FBI agents and police officers — to talk him out of it.

Free- Barbed Wire

“In the end, I always pulled the trigger, and then, from the point of view of that role play, I would tell them what they could have asked and could have said that would have caused me to give up and surrender,” explains Goulston, a psychiatrist and former FBI hostage-negotiation trainer.

Today, Goulston is a business adviser and consultant, using the skills he honed in his negotiation-training job to coach executives and employees at big corporations, including GE, IBM, and Goldman Sachs. He’s also the author of “Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life.”

We recently spoke to Goulston to learn how to get people — clients, colleagues, employees, or a boss — to do what you want at work. Here’s what he said:

1. Get them to talk

After you make a request — or subtly hint at what you want someone to do — stop and let that person do all the talking.

“When they start talking, they will self-discover the urgency of your request,” he explains. They’ll decide on their own that they should oblige, without you having to beg.

If you do all the talking, they may tune you out or feel like they’re being told (rather than asked) to do something, which will make them not want to do it.

 

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2. As they are speaking, pay attention to the adjectives and adverbs they use 

“An adjective is a way to embellish a noun, and an adverb is a way to embellish a verb — and both modifiers indicate something that the person has some ’emotional juice’ on,” Goulston explains. “After the other person stops talking — even if they ask you a question — pause for a few seconds, and instead of answering it, respond with: ‘Hmmm …’ (This communicates that you have listened and considered what they are saying.) Then, say more about the adjective or adverb they used.”

By doing this they will reveal what really matters to them and be more invested in the conversation, and therefore more interested in helping you.

For example, if someone you are speaking to uses the adjective “amazing” with regard to an opportunity and asks you a question after they finish speaking, try responding with, “I can answer your question, but before I do, tell me more about this amazing opportunity.”

“This will cause them to open up more to you and at a deeper level than if you had just directly answered their question,” Goulston says. “The more they open up to you, the more invested they’ll be in hearing what you have to say.”

3. Use ‘fill in the blanks’

“When you ask someone a question, you trigger an unconscious flashback of their having been put on the spot earlier in life by a teacher, parent, or coach, and you create a syntactical ‘you versus me’ disconnect,” Goulston says. This can lead to a reflexive “pull back” by them, he explains.

To avoid this, mix in with questions or requests a “fill in the blank,” he suggests. “For instance, it is more confrontational to ask someone, using a ‘you better know the answer to this’ tone, ‘What are you going to do about x situation?’ than it is to say, using and inviting ‘want to know’ tone, ‘What you’re planning to do about x situation is … ?'”

When you use the latter approach you have syntactically invited the other person into a sentence with you instead of asking a question, “which may cause them to think it is you versus them,” says Goulston.

4. Try to trigger positive flashbacks

Believe it or not, whenever you say, do, or ask something, you almost always trigger unconscious flashbacks for the person you’re speaking to. “The key is to try to trigger positiveflashbacks, not negative ones,” Goulston says.

If the person associates you, your question, or your request with something good, they’re more likely to comply.

For instance, when making a request of a colleague you can try something like: “The last time we worked together on a pitch, we secured three new clients. So I’m wondering if you’d be able to help me with this project?”

5. Be a ‘plusser,’ not a ‘topper’

One key to getting people to do what you want is to make them feel good and important.

“In conversations, ‘plussers’ build on or add to what the other person is saying; while ‘toppers’ either hijack the conversation abruptly to make it be about them or try to top what the other person is saying as in, ‘Ah, that sounds like a nice trip you took to Florida. We went to Fiji.'”

Plussers, he says, cause others to feel that what they’re saying matters; toppers cause others to think that you were only listening to them to get your turn to speak “and even worse, make them feel less than,” Goulston says.

For an example, a plusser would say: “Wow, that’s a great idea! Really smart and creative. We could even go one step further and try X, if you think that would work.” While a topper would say: “Your idea is good but I actually ran my idea by our CEO already and he loved it — so maybe we should go with mine.”

6. Focus on the future — not past failures

People don’t love criticism. They tend to get defensive when you bring up any situation in which they failed, Goulston says. So if you’re trying to get someone to do something differentlyin the future, don’t focus on the past.

Try something like, “Going forward, something that I would greatly appreciate would be if you could do X because it would be really helpful to the entire team.”

“Letting them know you’d appreciate it, and why, is important because it allows them to feel like they’re making a valuable contribution and a positive impact,” Goulston explains.

“When you’re trying to persuade people, more often than not they feel you’re being pushy,” he says. “When you focus on influencing them, they’re much less defensive and open to hearing what you have to say.”

 

Businessinsider.com | January 19, 2016 | 

#Strategy:The Ultimate Guide to Using #LinkedIn Successfully…. LinkedIn Redirects 4 times as Many Users to Company Home Pages as Facebook/Twitter. So, If You/Your #Company Don’t Yet have a LinkedIn #Strategy, Where do you Get Started?

If you follow my column, you know I’m a fan of LinkedIn. Since I moved to Europe four years ago, LinkedIn has proved to be a lifeline, connecting me with numerous leads to some very productive professional relationships.

Linkedin Coffee

If you check out the infographic below (thanks to Internet Marketing Inc. and its “rescue team”), you’ll see I’m not alone.

Just two highlights:

1. LinkedIn redirects four times as many users to company home pages as Facebook and Twitter.

2. LinkedIn generates the highest visitor-to-lead conversion rate, about 2.74%, about three times that of Facebook and Twitter.

So, if you don’t yet have a LinkedIn strategy, where do you get started?

The IMI rescue team has some great advice:

1. Join groups.

My engagement was relatively limited until a contact recommended that I join a few groups. “What are groups?” I remember asking.

Essentially, a group is a collection of LinkedIn members who share a common interest. Groups come in various sizes and ranges of expertise. For example, if you’re an insurance broker looking to join a group, you could register with Global Insurance Professionals, which currently has almost 84,000 members.

Or maybe you’re looking for something a little more specific. What’s that? You’re 22, living in the Big Apple, and seeking a long-term career as a broker or agent? Then maybe you could join the New York Young Insurance Professionals, which currently boasts over a thousand of your peers as members.

You can join up to 50 groups at one time, and it’s a good idea to use up your full allotment. This expands your network to the maximum amount, and makes it easier to connect with others. (You can easily send a connection invitation to anyone who is in the same group as you.)

 

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2. Start writing.

Write about issues that are being discussed by your company, your competitors, and your customers. The idea is that people are talking about these issues, which means they have questions. When they ask those questions, you want them to find your answers.

By offering to help (instead of sell), you begin a relationship with potential customers. Then, they’ll think of you and your company once they’re ready to buy.

Most important: Make sure your content is helpful, well written and easy to understand. (Think about the grocery store that offers recipes in its sales ads or monthly magazine, or the bank that gives financial advice to youths entering the work force.) Bonus points if your view is unique.

So that’s a start. Now here’s more advice from Internet Marketing Inc. and its rescue team.
LI
Read the original article on Inc.. Copyright 2015. Follow Inc. on Twitter.

http://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/you-re-in-desperate-need-of-a-linkedin-strategy-here-s-how-to-get-started-infogr.html#ixzz3a8wzsRqb

Strategy: 7 Proven Tactics that will Help you Close any Deal…To Win the Bid & Seal the Proposal/Contract, just Follow this Roadmap. This 7-Step Plan is Failproof

Whether you are presenting a project to your company,  an eBay re-seller, launching a new investment fund, or hawking fighter jets to the government, you need the same basic skills to be a sales leader.

two-men-talking-coworkers-3

To win the bid and seal the contract, just follow this roadmap. This 7-step plan is failproof.

1. Know your product.

Whether you are selling a refrigerator at Best Buy, a vehicle at CarMax, or a website design for a dog kennel, you must know precisely what it is you are selling.

Become familiar with the technical specifications, history, and customer satisfaction with the product. Be aware of its proper and popular uses. Know how it operates. Understand the results. Be more informed than your competitors.

If you don’t have training or you are not provided with any background on the products you are selling, conduct your own product research — independent of your employer.

Whether you are selling on the phone, online, or in person, the customer is always impressed when the sales person is knowledgeable about the product.

If possible, test the product or service yourself, so you can talk firsthand about its application and utility. If you have to sell something in which you do not have a lot of confidence, just find something good to say about it and then wait patiently and quietly for questions. In that case, be a well of information and not a fount.

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2. Understand what you are selling.

This is different than knowing your product. This means really perceiving the underlying product. The head of sales at General Motors had to realize that he was not selling transportation. He was selling entertainment.

If you are selling a cell phone you are selling connectivity with friends and family — maybe even personal safety. A refrigerator may represent keeping your food safe and free of things that could cause a virus for your children. A new furnace might not just be about heating a home, but may be a part of a social impact investment where you are selling an environmental decision with a smaller carbon footprint and greater energy efficiency.

Buyers look for good reasons to make a purchase. Linking the product to a broader industry or cause might be the catalyst for a sale.

3. Be aware of the competition.

Buyers typically have choices. You need to know what they are and the value proposition. Do you have flexibility in pricing? Many consumers today will test the limits of negotiation on pricing. If there is flexibility in the, understand your limits in negotiating the sale.

Seek out the competition. Test their products. It will strengthen your pitch and make you more convincing in selling. Don’t ever raise the subject of the competition or denigrate it. Honor the competition if asked about it but do not supply any information or indicate a bias about it. That will only stir up curiosity and your goal is to make the sale on the first pitch.

4. Know the marketplace.

My dad taught me to figure out what the marketplace is calling for … what it is seeking. He urged me to listen to people express what they needed or wanted and then to be visual enough to also observe what solutions were already available to them.

He would say that if you understand what the market is calling for and you supply it — you will never go hungry or be without a job. You will have a template to develop a products or services created to meet demand. The result is that you will earn a living.

And this is just what the entrepreneurs were doing at the Social Capital Summit I attended last week in Chicago. We heard impressive pitches from startups answering the call from the marketplace for more efficient and socially responsible solutions, for everything from solar energy applications to desalinization technologies for water starved western states.

Is it just luck to stumble on these new concepts? No, it takes nerve and research and a lot of talking and circulating in the marketplace. Reach out to people who have opinions about the next new thing in business.

5. Relate to the customer.

Making a connection with the customer can be the most important factor of all in a sale. I am not talking about establishing a friendly relationship with them — although that is sometimes appropriate.

I am referring to the impersonal knowledge that guides the sale because you know that people in the market for a new website are usually driven by wanting in to increase their business and that people who are buying aircraft for the US government might be interested in heightening their stature with government contractors.

This is behavioral science and while you don’t need an advanced degree in it to become a sales leader you do need to be attentive to the disposition of the buyer. This takes intuition and commitment to honestly inquiring about the customer’s needs rather than just talking up a sale.

You need to understand more of why the customer needs your product. Then you can effectively bridge the gap between the sale and the purchase.

6. Be articulate.

This is basic. In order to sell you have to be able to talk. Many people in sales are deficient in this skill. There are a few things you can do to remedy this.

First, write out a script for yourself. Second, practice with family and friends, and let them genuinely critique you. They will be your harshest critics.

A third step you can take is to make a video of yourself pitching a product. Watch it. Take notes. Ask yourself “Would I buy a service from this person?” If not, rework it and watch again!

Part of being articulate is, of course, your body language and your physical appearance. The better groomed you are, the better posture you have, and the neater your clothing is, the greater confidence you will engender in the sales process.

7. Be likeable.

People generally want to buy things from people they like — even if they are meeting them for only a few minutes. When you are selling, you don’t intrude on the buyer’s space, but you are pleasant, kind, and helpful. You smile and exchange pleasantries about the weather or something noninvasive like that.

Recently I walked away from a sale because of the rudeness of the sales person. It was a discretionary item I could do without, but that person lost a sale because of their caustic and curt attitude. There are plenty of reasons for being out of sorts, but never a good reason for inflicting too much of your own misery on a customer.

The best companies train their sales force to accompany the customer to the shelf where the new item is stocked. They have found that it is increases sales 25%. Stick with your customer throughout the sales process without cramping their space and you will get results!

James Rosebush was a Reagan White House official and is now the CEO and founder of GrowthStrategy.us. His leadership column appears on Business Insider every Tuesday.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/7-tactics-to-help-you-sell-your-ideas-2015-4#ixzz3YcYtGEFv

To win the bid and seal the contract, just follow this roadmap. This 7-step plan is failproof.

1. Know your product.

Whether you are selling a refrigerator at Best Buy, a vehicle at CarMax, or a website design for a dog kennel, you must know precisely what it is you are selling.

Become familiar with the technical specifications, history, and customer satisfaction with the product. Be aware of its proper and popular uses. Know how it operates. Understand the results. Be more informed than your competitors.

If you don’t have training or you are not provided with any background on the products you are selling, conduct your own product research — independent of your employer.

Whether you are selling on the phone, online, or in person, the customer is always impressed when the sales person is knowledgeable about the product.

If possible, test the product or service yourself, so you can talk firsthand about its application and utility. If you have to sell something in which you do not have a lot of confidence, just find something good to say about it and then wait patiently and quietly for questions. In that case, be a well of information and not a fount.

2. Understand what you are selling.

This is different than knowing your product. This means really perceiving the underlying product. The head of sales at General Motors had to realize that he was not selling transportation. He was selling entertainment.

If you are selling a cell phone you are selling connectivity with friends and family — maybe even personal safety. A refrigerator may represent keeping your food safe and free of things that could cause a virus for your children. A new furnace might not just be about heating a home, but may be a part of a social impact investment where you are selling an environmental decision with a smaller carbon footprint and greater energy efficiency.

Buyers look for good reasons to make a purchase. Linking the product to a broader industry or cause might be the catalyst for a sale.

3. Be aware of the competition.

Buyers typically have choices. You need to know what they are and the value proposition. Do you have flexibility in pricing? Many consumers today will test the limits of negotiation on pricing. If there is flexibility in the, understand your limits in negotiating the sale.

Seek out the competition. Test their products. It will strengthen your pitch and make you more convincing in selling. Don’t ever raise the subject of the competition or denigrate it. Honor the competition if asked about it but do not supply any information or indicate a bias about it. That will only stir up curiosity and your goal is to make the sale on the first pitch.

4. Know the marketplace.

My dad taught me to figure out what the marketplace is calling for … what it is seeking. He urged me to listen to people express what they needed or wanted and then to be visual enough to also observe what solutions were already available to them.

He would say that if you understand what the market is calling for and you supply it — you will never go hungry or be without a job. You will have a template to develop a products or services created to meet demand. The result is that you will earn a living.

And this is just what the entrepreneurs were doing at the Social Capital Summit I attended last week in Chicago. We heard impressive pitches from startups answering the call from the marketplace for more efficient and socially responsible solutions, for everything from solar energy applications to desalinization technologies for water starved western states.

Is it just luck to stumble on these new concepts? No, it takes nerve and research and a lot of talking and circulating in the marketplace. Reach out to people who have opinions about the next new thing in business.

5. Relate to the customer.

Making a connection with the customer can be the most important factor of all in a sale. I am not talking about establishing a friendly relationship with them — although that is sometimes appropriate.

I am referring to the impersonal knowledge that guides the sale because you know that people in the market for a new website are usually driven by wanting in to increase their business and that people who are buying aircraft for the US government might be interested in heightening their stature with government contractors.

This is behavioral science and while you don’t need an advanced degree in it to become a sales leader you do need to be attentive to the disposition of the buyer. This takes intuition and commitment to honestly inquiring about the customer’s needs rather than just talking up a sale.

You need to understand more of why the customer needs your product. Then you can effectively bridge the gap between the sale and the purchase.

6. Be articulate.

This is basic. In order to sell you have to be able to talk. Many people in sales are deficient in this skill. There are a few things you can do to remedy this.

First, write out a script for yourself. Second, practice with family and friends, and let them genuinely critique you. They will be your harshest critics.

A third step you can take is to make a video of yourself pitching a product. Watch it. Take notes. Ask yourself “Would I buy a service from this person?” If not, rework it and watch again!

Part of being articulate is, of course, your body language and your physical appearance. The better groomed you are, the better posture you have, and the neater your clothing is, the greater confidence you will engender in the sales process.

7. Be likeable.

People generally want to buy things from people they like — even if they are meeting them for only a few minutes. When you are selling, you don’t intrude on the buyer’s space, but you are pleasant, kind, and helpful. You smile and exchange pleasantries about the weather or something noninvasive like that.

Recently I walked away from a sale because of the rudeness of the sales person. It was a discretionary item I could do without, but that person lost a sale because of their caustic and curt attitude. There are plenty of reasons for being out of sorts, but never a good reason for inflicting too much of your own misery on a customer.

The best companies train their sales force to accompany the customer to the shelf where the new item is stocked. They have found that it is increases sales 25%. Stick with your customer throughout the sales process without cramping their space and you will get results!

James Rosebush was a Reagan White House official and is now the CEO and founder of GrowthStrategy.us. His leadership column appears on Business Insider every Tuesday.

 

Businessinsider.com | April 28, 2015 | JAMES ROSEBUSH

http://www.businessinsider.com/7-tactics-to-help-you-sell-your-ideas-2015-4#ixzz3YcYtGEFv