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#CareerAdvice : #JobSearch -7 Perfect Questions to Ask While #Networking …Great REad!

Odds are, you already know how important networking is. You might have leveraged your network to land a job, procure a new client or even switch careers entirely — or at the very least, you probably know someone who has. But despite the endless benefits of networking, many people still dread the experience.

Often, this is because they simply don’t know what to say. After all, approaching a stranger you know nothing about can be pretty intimidating — what in the world do you talk about?

Well, the next time you find yourself wondering this at an industry mixer, don’t fret. We talked to a handful of career experts to get their recommendations on great questions to ask while networking. Use any of these questions for a quick and painless conversation starter.

1. “What brings you here?”

This light-touch question is a great way to begin a conversation, explains Michelle Tillis Lederman, author of The Connector’s Advantage: 7 Mindsets to Grow Your Influence and Impact.

“This question shows you are interested in the other person and are not just trying to figure out how they can help you. Their response will give you a sense of what they are working on and what is on the front of their mind. That will lead you to extend the conversation and figure out how you can add value to them,” Tillis Lederman explains. “They will also likely ask you the question in return and give you an opening to share what your current objectives are.”

2. “How did you get involved in the industry/company?”

Once you know a little bit more about somebody’s professional background, ask them how they got their start. It can provide valuable takeaways for you, as well as make you seem more likable.

“Finding out more about their journey leading up to their current role can offer an excellent insight into what you might need to do in order to work in that industry, role or company,” says Lars Herrem, Group Executive Director at recruiting agency Nigel Wright Group. “Demonstrating your interest and enthusiasm is key to creating a lasting impression and making yourself memorable, something which will prove extremely beneficial if you end up reaching out to this person in the future.”

 

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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3. “Since you work in the industry, how do you feel about X?”

Asking about a specific, timely event in the industry — whether it’s proposed legislation, a merger, a recent news story, etc. — is a great way to show the person you’re speaking with that you are knowledgeable and thoughtful, both of which are key to being memorable, says career coach Eli Howayeck of Crafted Career Concepts.

“First impressions matter. The best thing you can do, besides being a nice person, is to demonstrate how you think and what you know about the marketplace,” Howayeck explains. “This helps direct the conversation and informs your conversation partner that you likely know what you’re talking about or, at a minimum, pay attention to what is going on in the world and [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][are] not only focused on yourself and your advancement.”

4. “How would someone get their foot in the door in your company/industry?”

The ultimate objective of networking is often to get a new job, but coming out and asking somebody you just met to help you get one can be pretty off-putting. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t approach the topic at all — you just have to do so delicately.

This question “is a subtle way to ask about opportunities without coming right out and saying, ‘Do you know if they are hiring?’” says career coach Madelyn Mackie. “If you are lucky, they will ask you if you are interested and then provide you with a business card to follow-up with them after the event.”

Even if they aren’t able to help you out directly, though, you will likely gain some valuable insight that will help you in your job search process.

5. “Based on your journey, what do you wish someone would have told you earlier in your career?”

This is a great question to ask if you’re speaking with somebody who is more senior than you are. It allows them to impart the knowledge they’ve acquired over the years with you, as well as appeals to their ego.

“People are way more comfortable sharing their wisdom than they are sharing their contacts, and both can be very valuable,” Howayeck says. “Seeking to learn from others honors them and shows that you’re invested in growth. It also shows deference and can endear the person to you and deepen the connection.”

6. “How do you spend your time outside of work?”

At its heart, networking is all about forming connections with others, so don’t be afraid to veer towards lighthearted chitchat. Questions like this one help people open up, and make it clear that you don’t expect the interaction to be purely transactional.

“This kind of question lowers the stakes and also gives the other person a chance to discuss what they’re passionate about,” Howayeck explains. “It also shows that you are actually interested in them as a person, and not just what they do and how it could help you.”

Who knows? You may even bond over a shared interest or activity!

7. “What’s the best way for me to get in touch/follow up with you?”

Ask this question, and you’re guaranteed to avoid one of the biggest mistakes that novice networkers make, according to career coach Nikki Bruno: “Beginning networkers often make the mistake of giving away a stack of business cards but gathering none. The only way to ensure that you’ll be able to follow up with new contacts is to get their information; it keeps you in the driver’s seat.”

“Note that this question is intentionally different from ‘May I have your card?’” Bruno adds. “Asking to stay in touch or to follow someone shows that you view him/her as a human being, not as a mere contact.”

 

GlassDoor.com | March 5, 2019 | Posted by 

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#CareerAdvice : #CareerNetworking – Three Surprising Ways your #Network can Help your #JobSearch … #Networking Doesn’t Always Lead to #Referrals or #Introductions to #HiringManagers . But Sometimes your Contacts can Prove Helpful in Ways you Hadn’t Expected.

My professional network has never led directly to a job opportunity. I’ve had people on the inside graciously pass along my resume and extend referrals, but while I’ve landed interviews this way, they’ve never crystallized into an offer. In fact, every job offer I’ve ever received has come about the old-fashioned way: by applying to a job posting.

NETWORKING LETS YOU PRACTICE TALKING ABOUT YOUR WORK

If it’s been at least a year since your last job search, there’s a good chance you’re out of practice describing your work to people outside your organization. There’s actually an art to answering the familiar question, “So what do you do?” and since most interviews kick off with, “Tell me a little about yourself,” networking conversations can actually double as interview prep.

Networking with people while you’re job hunting forces you to get beyond those boring one-line summaries of your current job description. As you start telling folks in your network what you’re looking to do next, you’ll also have to characterize your strengths and interests, drum up examples of recent projects you’re proud of, and make connections between your current role and your ambitions for the next stage in your career.

Articulating all of this takes practice. Plus, in addition to helping you refine your pitch to hiring managers and recruiters, this also gives your network a clearer sense of what opportunities to keep a lookout for on your behalf.

Here’s what to ask your contacts:

  • “Does the experience I’ve just described make sense? And does it sound interesting?
  • “Based on what I’ve told you, what sounds like my top strength? What about my biggest weakness?”

Related: How to answer “What do you do?” without boring anyone


 

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TALKING TO YOUR NETWORK HELPS YOU FOCUS (OR EXPAND) YOUR SEARCH

You may never have had a professional mentor, but as soon as you mention you’re job searching, just about everyone snaps into mentorship mode. They’re quick to ask questions about your current job and what you’re hoping for in the next one. They grill you about where you’re looking and whether you’ve landed any interviews yet. They wrack their brains for people they know that you might want to talk to.

This knee-jerk generosity can be helpful, or not. (Your friend’s new roommate might not know a damn thing about your industry even though he’s really excited to help.) But these discussions can be clarifying even when they don’t cough up job leads. Sometimes you’ll notice somebody interpreting your work history in a different light than you see it, which could cue you to reframe your experience in future career conversations. Other times someone may suggest a company or a type of role that you hadn’t considered before. And once in a while, a contact with deeper experience in your field might brush away worries about your competitive weaknesses and put their finger on something completely different that you should really focus on.

These networking interactions can lead you to shift your strategy, sometimes in small ways and sometimes much more radically. The best part is that even people who are relatively ignorant about your field or career ambitions can still help you adjust your game plan, whether it’s to find focus or think more broadly.

Here’s what to ask your contacts:

  • For people who are less knowledgable about your field: “Hypothetically, If I were to leave my field, what types of other roles do you think I’d be qualified for?”
  • For those who know a lot about your field: “What types of candidates do you think I’m most likely to be competing with for this role? Should I consider different types of positions?”

Related: These two exercises can help you radically think your career


YOUR NETWORK CAN HELP YOU VET JOB OFFERS

In my experience, a professional network is most effective at helping you size up job opportunities. Sometimes the hardest part of the hiring process isn’t crafting a great resume or preparing for an interview, it’s deciding whether to take the job once it’s finally offered.

The folks in your network might not know the hiring manager or an HR rep inside the company, but they’re much more likely to know someone who works there and can speak generally about their experiences on the inside. This is often the real benefit of those “weak connections”; the people who know the people you know, even though they’ve never met you, probably won’t give you an endorsement. But many are happy to jump on a 20-minute call with you and share their thoughts on the position you’re applying to, plus any words of caution or advice.

All of this is underappreciated intel. If you can land these conversations before going on a job interview or even before applying, they’ll help you tailor the way you position your candidacy. These second-degree contacts can also clue you into potential drawbacks and suggest good questions to ask about the team, the work culture, and the demands of the role. And if someone has already agreed to chat with you about a job opportunity, they probably won’t blink when you ask if there are any other insiders they might be willing to introduce you to. Before you know it, you’ll have tapped into a brain trust of in-the-know contacts who can share critical insight to guide your strategy and decision making.

Here’s what to ask your contacts:

  • When you’re looking for company insiders: “Do you know any current or former employees at X company who might be willing to chat with me about their experience there?”
  • After speaking with company insiders: “Thanks for chatting with me! If you can think of anyone else you work with who may have some insight into the role I’m pursuing, I’d love to be connected.”

Related: 4 questions to help answer the big one: “Should I take this job?”


So no, your immediate network might not be much help in connecting you with the top decision makers for the specific job opportunities that appeal to you. But if you give them a chance, your professional contacts can probably help you out much more–and in many more ways–than you think.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rich Bellis is Associate Editor of Fast Company’s Leadership section.

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FastCompany.com | July 31, 2018 | BY RICH BELLIS 5 MINUTE READ

Your #Career : #Networking – Do These 5 #EmotionallyIntelligent Things Within 5 Minutes Of Meeting Someone…Being instantly Likable isn’t Rocket Science, But this Checklist takes Practice to Master in the Short Space of a First Impression.

What’s the point of networking if not to get other people to like you? Sure, you need new contacts to see you as interesting, competent, professional, and potentially valuable to them—but if they don’t also find you likable, nobody will feel motivated to reach out later and work with you.

The reason why all comes down to emotional intelligence, the set of skills and qualities that allow people to form deeper, closer relationships with others. Likability is a key ingredient in that, and its career benefits are pretty obvious. For instance, being likable—and liking your coworkers in return—can increase your chances of getting promoted.

But when it comes to first impressions, you don’t always have much time to get people to like you. So here are a few straightforward things that the most emotionally intelligent people do to cement their likability from the get-go:

1. SHOW GENUINE ENTHUSIASM FOR MEETING

Especially in business contexts, some people’s demeanors while making introductions are terse and serious. That might feel formal and “appropriate,” but it’s not always the most emotionally intelligent thing to do. Neither is laying it on thick with a forced grin and over-the-top proclamations about how absolutely wonderful it is to meet.

Just be natural. Pretend you’re meeting a sibling’s new significant other at a social occasion. Give your best, authentic smile. Open up your posture so your legs are at a wide stance but you’re relaxed. Make eye contact, offer a firm handshake. It’s that easy.

Related: 3 Things Effective Leaders Know About Being Likable


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2. OFFER A COMPLIMENT

If you notice something about the person you’ve just met that you can compliment them about, do it right away. Maybe there’s a recent accomplishment you’re aware of that you could mention. If not, ask a question or two that can lead to information you can later compliment them on.

So treat the first five minutes after meeting somebody as a silent quiz session: Pretend you’re being tested to see how much you can find out about the new acquaintance—that when five minutes are up, you’ll have to write an essay about everything you’ve just learned, and the more information you include, the higher your score.

3. ASK AT LEAST TWO OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Conversations often die quickly or turn into monologues when they aren’t propelled forward by good questions. When someone starts talking about something they enjoy, use that as an opening to ask more: “How did you get into that?” “What do you like most about it?” Since it’s something they’re clearly dying to talk about it, don’t just ask yes/no or simple factual questions that might cut off their chance to really dig into it.

Aim for at least two open-ended questions within the first few minutes of striking up a chat with somebody you’ve just met. That should be enough to get a good, in-depth conversation going. On a subconscious level, you’ll quickly become somebody they remember liking and will want to be around.


Related: This Emotional Intelligence Test Was So Accurate It Was Creepy


4. FIND SOMETHING YOU SHARE

Have you ever spoken with someone and found them distracted, glancing around the room or maybe maybe fiddling with their phone while you were speaking? If you did, there’s a slim chance you came away really liking them afterward. In order to make someone feel like they’re getting your full attention, you obviously need to focus on them exclusively. But you also have to find an interest or belief you both share.

The most emotionally intelligent people know that it’s easiest to connect with people they’ve found something in common with. These commonalities might not always be obvious, though; you have to look for them. For example, there’s a really experienced runner who works out at my gym, and we often have a chance to chat. Since I personally have zero interest in running, there wouldn’t seem to be common ground for a meaningful conversation beyond, “Good to see you again, how’s your week going?” But since most people like food, I once asked him what he eats before a major long-distance run. It gave us something in common to talk about.

These conversational openings are really simple but not always obvious right away just after meeting someone. Pay attention to what makes somebody light up, become more animated, and sit up straight. These little cues are easy to catch early on in your conversation, and they can make for great opportunities to quickly find commonalities, passions, and ideas to talk about in those crucial few minutes while we’re forming first impressions.

5. SAY THEIR NAME BEFORE YOU LEAVE, AND COMMIT KEY FACTS TO MEMORY

Everybody loves the sound of their own name. Say it when you first meet someone; then sprinkle it throughout the conversation whenever you get the chance. At a minimum, make sure to say their name when you’re about to leave: “Really great meeting you, Shareen.” “Thanks for chatting, Kyle, let’s be in touch.”

Finally, emotionally intelligent people reinforce the likability they’ve banked during first impressions by remembering a few key details later on. The names of a new acquaintance’s partner, kids, even the pets they have or that vacation recommendation they shared—that’s all useful information to refer back to the next time you see them. It’ll help you stand out in their memory, and make them look forward to connecting with you again—because for some reason or other, they find that they just like you.

 

Harvey Deutschendorf is an emotional intelligence expert, author and speaker. To take the EI Quiz go to theotherkindofsmart.com.

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FastCompany.com | July 18, 2017

 

Your #Career : How #Women Can Build Their #ProfessionalNetworks … #Networking is Tougher for Women for Several Reasons, but There are Ways to Make it Work.

Networking is crucial for advancing a career, building relationships and getting knowledgeable about a range of subjects.  And women have a much tougher time of it than men.

It comes down to numbers, my research shows. There are so few women in positions of power that it is difficult for women to find sponsors to make introductions and referrals, and models of effective leadership are geared toward men. And because of that, women begin to believe not only that the cards are stacked against them but also that there is something wrong with networking itself.

Bonding problems

Of course, it can be daunting for both men and women to reach out to people who are more senior and outside their immediate area. But women’s difficulties with workplace networking go beyond that. People form and maintain relationships easily and spontaneously with others like them, decades of research shows. When an organization’s senior ranks and an industry’s power players are mostly male, the “likes attract” principle means that women often have to work harder to build relationships with decision makers and influential stakeholders.

At the same time, there are few other women around for women to build professional relationships with. The result? Women are consistently excluded from male-dominated social gatherings, which let businesspeople talk shop and bounce ideas in an informal atmosphere that builds camaraderie and trust.

Compounding the problem is that men and women tend to favor different leisure and extracurricular pursuits. So men find it much easier to mix play and work in the first place, with pursuits such as golf, while women often struggle to combine the two spheres of life.

In my research, I ask people to list all the contacts they consult for work matters, as well as the friends they hang out with outside of work. Men often have some people on both lists—they’ll play squash or go to dinner with some of those work contacts. Women, in contrast, are more likely to have two separate lists. This difference is most pronounced for women who have children, when outside-of-work relationships tend to become more driven by school activities and family.

All of which means it takes longer for women to achieve influence. It also increases the likelihood that women will have unfavorable views about networking. The more we differ from key stakeholders, and the more we have to go out of our way to interact informally with them, the more likely we’ll view networking as disingenuous and calculating. So women begin to see networking as being about selfish gain and using people.

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Breaking barriers

Aspiring women leaders can start taking charge of their network with three tactics.

Be a bridge. The best way for women to expand their professional relationships is by making connections across the diverse circles that make up their network.

For example, one marketing executive for a large manufacturing firm found herself attending events in which ideas were presented on which she knew could help her colleagues. She started writing up what she was seeing in a LinkedIn blog, and that raised her visibility in the company. When she met the author of a new book on agile working, she knew his methodology could potentially transform her firm’s operations. So she introduced him to a manager she had gotten to know through the LinkedIn column. Five years later, the methodology was in place across the organization—and she landed a promotion.

Limited Access

Women are less likely than men to say they have substantive interaction with a senior leader at least monthly, and the difference grows as they move up the career ladder.

*Vice president and above

Source: LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Co. Women in the Workplace 2017 survey of 70,000 men and women

Do it your way. Effective networking usually involves investing time in extracurricular activities. But many women balk at what seems to be limited choice among things they are not very interested in, such as playing golf or attending sporting events. I have seen many savvy networkers, however, leverage a personal interest into something more strategic in the workplace.

Take, for instance, one investment banker who was passionate about the theater. Frustrated that she kept missing plays she wanted to see, she made her passion part of her business development. Four times a year, her secretary booked tickets, organized an informal buffet dinner at a restaurant near the theater and invited her clients, prospective clients and other key people she wanted to get to know better. The stage became a backdrop for developing her own business and facilitating connections among people in her networks.

Join a women’s professional network. Because women’s informal networks tend to have separate work and social spheres, it can be harder for women to achieve their potential. Joining a women’s network, such as the Wing, is a great way to bring the two spheres together. A women’s network can be a supportive setting for women to compare notes and reinforce one another’s learning. One website founder from New Zealand told me, “Coming here, there is a sense of comfort; you can fully relax.”

Ultimately, it is women’s misconceptions about networking that hold them back. If you believe you will never be any good at it or that you are wasting time, if there is a voice in your head telling you it is self-serving and political, you won’t commit to breaking your usual routine.

The only way to debunk such limiting assumptions is for women to try it and learn from their own experience that networking is one of the most valuable ways to invest their time.

Ms. Ibarra is the Charles Handy professor of organizational behavior at the London Business School. She can be reached at reports@wsj.com.

Appeared in the May 21, 2018, print edition as ‘What Women Need to Do to Network.’

 

 

Your #Career : This Is How to Build Your #ProfessionalNetwork From Your Phone…So Today we’re Sharing our Essential Tips for How to #Network from your Phone Like a Pro, Plus the Best Apps for Making Awesome Connections.

You don’t have to be an introvert to dread networking events. Initiating conversations with total strangers can feel a bit like going on a blind date — the results could be magical, or painfully awkward.

Though networking in person doesn’t have to be a nightmare, it can still be difficult to fit into your busy schedule.

Online networking via your smartphone has the distinct advantage of happening whenever and wherever is convenient for you. And it can also ensure there’s a mutual desire to connect.

So today we’re sharing our essential tips for how to network from your phone like a pro, plus the best apps for making awesome connections.

How to Perfect Your LinkedIn Hustle

Love it or hate it, LinkedIn is the behemoth in the online professional networking sphere and is a powerful tool for job hunting, recruiting and making new connections.

If you’re serious about landing opportunities on LinkedIn, you’ll want to check out these on-point articles for how to get started:

But regardless of what strategies you employ to get noticed, the simplest thing you can do to impress recruiters is to always write with good grammar.

We obviously take grammar pretty seriously around here, but we’re not the only ones. Language and writing are changing rapidly in the digital age, but in the realm of business (and academia), traditional grammar rules are still king.

Employers consider good grammar skills an accurate indicator of competence, credibility and professionalism. Even simple errors like confusing “there” and “their” or “its” and “it’s” can be enough to deter potential employers.

So be sure to thoroughly proofread your LinkedIn profile, and every message you write, before you hit “send” or “post.” You can also double-check your grammar with our new mobile keyboard for iPhone and Android (yes, Grammarly is finally available on mobile!).

Remember, you only get to make one first impression, so make sure it’s a positive one!

3 Networking Apps for Making Awesome Connections

While it’s important to engage with LinkedIn, it’s not the only resource available for building your professional network. Take your mobile networking game to the next level with these apps:

1. Shapr

Ready to swipe right? Shapr is basically Tindr for professional networking.

One of the primary advantages of Shapr over LinkedIn is that it encourages you to forge a connection in person, rather than starting a correspondence that may drag on unproductively (or fizzle out quickly).

After downloading the app you can set up your profile in seconds by linking it to your LinkedIn account. Every day you’ll get a selection of around a dozen profiles that match up with your interests and geographical location. You can choose to “Pass” or “Meet.”

Providing a limited number of profiles to choose from ensures you’ll only spend a few minutes on the app each day, instead of falling into the trap of endless browsing.

Responses are completely anonymous, so you won’t know who’s interested in meeting unless you’ve both selected “Meet” on each other’s profiles, in which case you’ll be notified that you have a match.

Once you’re matched, you can coordinate to meet up in person for coffee and begin your discussions for world domination.

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2. Bumble Bizz

Already on Bumble? Bumble Bizz is the popular dating app’s new networking mode.

Shapr and Bumble Bizz are similar in style but have some key differences. Shapr uses an algorithm to deliver your daily selection of profiles, while with Bumble Bizz you’re in the driver’s seat of deciding which profiles are of interest.

However, this does mean there is a vast number of profiles for you to browse, so be careful you don’t spend more time on the app than you do meeting up with people in person.

Bumble Bizz is also likely to have more women users than Shapr, due to the high percentage of women who already use Bumble in dating mode. This is a clear advantage for professional women who are looking to connect with other driven women in their area.

3. Let’s Lunch

If you’d love to network but are struggling to find the time due to your crazy schedule, Let’s Lunch connects you with people who not only have similar interests but similar schedules.

Forget the stress of cramming networking events into your busy evenings, now you can meet amazing people during your lunch hour when you were going to be eating lunch anyway!

Let’s Lunch has also expanded from just one-on-one lunches to lunch opportunities at innovative startups and companies who are looking to hire.

 

GlassDoor.com |  |

Your #Career : The Emotionally Intelligent Way To Cold-Email People (If You Must)…People Don’t Love being Contacted Out of the Blue. So you Need an Opening Line that Puts your Recipient Front and Center. Here are Five Ways to Craft One.

I get about 10 cold emails a day. Most are from PR firms who know I’m a Fast Company contributor and want me to write about their clients. If the first line fails to draw me in, I hit delete; if I like the sound of it, I’ll read on. Same goes for cold phone calls from organizations pitching financial advice or seeking money for a charity: That opening statement is everything.

How do you create an opening–whether for an email or a phone call–that makes the person at the other end want to hear more? The answer is simple: flip your focus from yourself (or whatever it is you’re offering or asking for) to the person you’re reaching out to.

The fact is that nobody particularly likes to field cold emails or cold calls. But with a more emotionally intelligent opening, you can at least get them to listen. Here’s how.


Related: Do These 5 Emotionally Intelligent Things Within 5 Minutes Of Meeting Someone


NEVER DIVE RIGHT IN

It’s understandable that you want to get to the point–and explain why you’re writing or calling. But an opening line focused on your own agenda is likely a turnoff to the other person.

“The past six months has changed the way we talk about and understand gender equality in the workplace,” one recent PR pitch began. Okay, I thought, but why are you sharing this with me?Another publicity email opened with, “As we all know, millennials have grown up surrounded by technology, iPhones practically glued to their hands.” If “we all know” it already, what’s new here? Plus, I’m not a millennial, so why are you contacting me? (My editor, who is a millennial, isn’t too keenon millennial trend piecesby the way.)

Some writers open with surprising facts about their subject, hoping the reader will care. One recent email began: “$46 billion a year is spent on leadership training, but a recent Gallup survey showed that 82% of employees find their leaders ‘uninspiring.’” Another began with a whopping 58-word sentence about the app the writer wanted me to profile (not something I do), but I’d had enough of that topic by the time I’d reached the end of the line.

The point here isn’t to complain about the bad practices of the PR industry. It’s that introductions to people you don’t know should never launch right into something abstract, newsy, or conceptual. Think about it: If you were at a networking event, would you begin a conversation with a content-rich disquisition on your area of expertise? Not if you wanted to engage your listener! The same wisdom applies to cold emails and phone calls.


Related: Mentorship And The Art Of The Cold Email


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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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BEGIN WITH YOUR AUDIENCE

Instead, open with a focus on your reader or listener. Make it personal, so they’ll feel you’re really are talking to them–rather than delivering a generic pitch. These are five emotionally intelligent ways to do that in your very first line:

1. Mention a mutual interest. You might begin your email, “Good morning, Frank. I’m writing to you because I know you’re interested in the way leaders communicate, and that’s a focus that my client’s company shares.”

2. Refer to a shared contact. Our working lives are built on relationships, so if there’s a network connection you share, point that out to the stranger you’re reaching out to–you’ll seem a little less unfamiliar. Suppose you’re the head of a consulting business, and you are calling a potential CEO client. You might begin: “Good morning, Barbara. I’m calling because Ashanti Masterton told me you have an ambitious speaking agenda, and she thought you’d be interested in how my firm might support you.” These mutual ties will often get your foot in the door.


Related: Six Ways To Write Emails That Don’t Make People Silently Resent You


3. Show you know something about them. My antennae would go up if I got a letter that began: “I know your work as a columnist for Fast Company, and I’m fascinated by your writing on emotional intelligence in the workplace.” Likewise, if you’re extending a speaking invitation, you might begin, “I heard your recent talk on team building, and I can’t think of a better message for my team. Would you join us for our annual retreat, and share that same message?”

4. Convey respect or appreciation for what they’ve accomplished. Suppose you’ve decided you want to be mentored by a senior coworker who doesn’t know you. Your first step might be to send an email that opens with, “I’ve admired you from a distance for your ability to break through the ‘glass ceiling’ in our industry, and I’d love to grab coffee to hear a little more about your career experiences.”

5. Say what’s in it for them. Maybe you’re job searching and want to talk with the head of HR about opportunities. Cold pitching about job opportunities is always a crapshoot (it may work better for informational interviews), but you stand the best chance with an opening like, “I know your firm hires some of the best talent around, and I wonder if you’d be interested in the strong communications experience I’d bring.” I tried this approach early in my career when I cold-called the HR chief for a large telecom company; it landed me a job.

The way you open will determine how things conclude. So always start by referring directly to your listener or reader–their needs, interests, and priorities. Yes, that may mean getting to your point a moment or two later, but it’s the only way you’ll be granted the opportunity to do so in the first place.

FastCompany.com | March 18, 2018 | BY JUDITH HUMPHREY 4 MINUTE READ

Your #Career : How To Ask Someone To Refer You For A Job (And Not Irritate Them)…Sometimes you Don’t Have any Insider Connections to your Dream Company. Don’t Let that Stop You from Asking for a Referral.

You probably know that referrals are the best way to get jobs. 

As someone who works with a lot of students going through the job search, I’ve collected more data points on what types of messages work well, and what messages don’t when you’re asking for a referral.

Let’s talk about the cold message–when you contact someone you don’t know who works at a company you’re interested in. This is the toughest message to send. You’re literally reaching out to a stranger who is probably busy and not expecting someone they don’t know to ask them for help on getting a job. Not only that, you also don’t want to come off as annoying.


Related:4 Steps To Landing A Referral Without Any Insider Connections


But keep this in mind: Anyone who’s held a corporate job for more than a year, and especially for those in the tech industry, know that cold emails or LinkedIn messages with a request to “set up a phone call to learn more about [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][company x]” is normal. In fact, they’ve probably done it themselves.

 

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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However, cold messages can be annoying. To avoid irritating the person on the other side of your message, use the following templates when you’re cold contacting someone with the intention of asking for a referral.

COLD MESSAGE TEMPLATE

Hey [Name],

My name is [Your name] and I saw this [name or role and insert link to the job posting] opening. I’m really interested in this role and all that is going on at [Company]. I read about [mention some positive news about the company from their blog or press article], it sounds like it’s an exciting time and there’s a lot going on! I’d love to chat with you more about [Company].

A little bit about me:

I’m currently a [your role at your company]. I’m responsible for [describe what you do]. 

Previously, I was a [role at previous company]. In my time there I [describe what you did]

I’ve attached my resume for detailed context.

Would you be for up for a phone call in the next couple of weeks? If so, I can send over a handful of time slots.

Thank you!

– Your name

This is a good cold message because it shows you’ve done research on the company, introduced yourself without overwhelming a stranger with your life story, and specified a request. As an added bonus, you’ve agreed to take on the hassle of coordinating times to chat.


Related:This Networking Platform Lets You Pay For Advice From Employees At Your Dream Job


The template is in email format, but you may not have someone’s email address for a cold message. If that’s the case, reach out with this message through LinkedIn. If you do, break up the template message into a few messages so you’re not sending a wall of text over LinkedIn.

If someone writes back to your cold message, they may or may not be willing to talk to you on the phone. If they’re open to a call, send over a handful of time slots to try to make it easy for them to find a time that works for them. Make sure you do some research to ask good questions about the role and company before you get on the phone. After the call, send a follow up email to thank them for the call and ask for a referral.

Here’s a good way to craft the sentence to directly ask for a referral:

If you have time and are willing, can you help submit my resume for the [role–include link to job post]?


Related:I Built A Bot To Apply To Thousands Of Jobs At Once—Here’s What I Learned 


If after the first cold message you get a response, but a phone call doesn’t work for them, they may reply back with, “What questions can I answer for you?” If this happens, send over a few, specific questions over email. Once you get a response to your questions, send a follow-up thank you email, and ask directly for a referral.

If you aren’t at a company right now, mention the productive things you are doing that are relevant to the role you’re going after. This could be an online course you’re taking, volunteer/consulting work, side project, etc.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK, YOU’RE ONLY HOLDING YOURSELF BACK

If you’re getting gun-shy about sending a cold email because you don’t want to come off as an intrusive nuisance, don’t be. It’s common practice, particularly for those working in tech.

I’ve always been surprised by how helpful people who I don’t even know have been in my career. It all started out with a cold message. So don’t be afraid to take the first step to reach out to someone–as long as you’re not annoying. You’re only getting in your own way of the job you want if you don’t ask.

You Might Also Like:

FastCompany.com | March 16, 2018 | BY DJ CHUNG—HACK CAREER 4 MINUTE READ

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#BestofFSCBlog :How to Network When You’re Not Looking for a Job.

If you’re already unemployed and looking, anyone you meet will see what they can do for you, but they won’t know why knowing you benefits them. That’s understandable, since at that point your only goal in building a network would be to help yourself.

In reality, it’s best to make networking part of what you do at all times. When you have a job, it’s OK to network with an eye on the next one. In fact, it’s easier to set up your next position when the people you will be connecting with hear about your long-term interest rather than an immediate need.

What Should You Do?

Even if you have a steady, stable job you like, it’s important to have an eye on tomorrow. That does not mean you’re angling to leave, or are even particularly open to a new position — it just means you’re banking relationship capital for a future day.

This could be a somewhat passive activity where you simply make an effort to attend industry events and meet more people. The best bet, however, is to use the fact that you don’t need anything from potential connections to build some new relationships.

One great way to do that is to seek out people at companies where you might want to work or in jobs you may want to hold. Introduce yourself, explain your situation and ask for an informational interview or even to have a cup of coffee.

This tactic also works well if you’re considering a potential geography switch. When planning a visit or vacation to an area you may someday want to live in, make a few appointments with potential employers. Let them know your future plans and any connections you may have to the area (family, property ownership, etc.). That way, if a job comes up, you won’t be treated as an out-of-town applicant.

Be Creative

Networking can take on a lot of forms. You may consider volunteering or working with industry groups on projects that are outside the realm of normal business. Even something like joining a softball team increases the number of people you know.

It’s also a good idea to raise your profile outside your own company. That could mean speaking at industry events, contributing to trade journals or participating in after-work events.

Keep It Going

The hardest part of networking on a long-term basis is keeping up connections. That person who had coffee with you two years ago probably won’t think of you when a job comes open if that was your only contact.

Keeping in touch has gotten easier in the social media era. Make connections on all the leading platforms as appropriate, and interact with your network. Make a point of having a personal interaction a few times a year — anything from getting together to sending a holiday card.

Put the effort in to keep your connections from going cold. If you do that then your network will be there either when you need a job, and may even surprise you by putting an opportunity on your plate when you did not expect it.

Glassdoor.com |  | 

Your #Career : #Networking – 9 Questions the Most Interesting People Ask to Cut through Small Talk…Early in my Career, One of my Biggest Fears Walking into a #NetworkingEvent to Schmooze or Meeting Someone for a #BusinessLunch was Boring the Other Person to Tears in Conversation.

  • Showing curiosity in someone is the fastest way to establish a connection with them while conversing.
  • To skip past the small talk and have a meaningful interaction, asking pointed, unique questions.
  • “What excites you right now?” and “What’s the most important thing I should know about you?” are two examples.


I remember early in my career, one of my biggest fears walking into a networking event to schmooze or meeting someone for a business lunch was boring the other person to tears in conversation.

I didn’t want to be the windbag who dragged on forever, so I learned to be brief, to the point, and actually listen to the other person with all my being. I eventually avoided the mistake of talking about polarizing topics like politics or race, and learned to stay neutral, positive, and upbeat.

I began to tune in to my body language and voice tone to avoid sounding monotone, or looking like a bump on a log. I trained my brain to show emotions, laugh at people’s jokes, smile when they smile, and make light of awkward situations.

The biggest lesson I learned in conversations with others

But the biggest lesson for ensuring that I was being an interesting person who drew others in came down to asking the right questions. I found that this is what triggered authentic responses in the other person.

By showing curiosity about someone’s story, accomplishments, passions, or interests, the law of reciprocity usually kicked in, and I had my turn to shine. There was a bonus attached to this strategy: Persuasion increased, which helped me steer the conversation in the direction I wanted it to go.

But here’s the key: If you’re in a conversation at a work-related function or meeting someone to talk business for the first time, your best move is not to ask work- or business-related questions; it’s to discover common ties with that person that will steer the conversation back to the “work stuff,” but with a deeper connection.

In other words, get to know that person! To really exercise persuasiveness and make a quick connection that may have mutual benefits (and possibly make a new friend), I’ll leave you with these questions. Granted, some may not be your ideal, icebreaking conversational starters, so use your best judgment when and where to use them to deepen the conversation.

David Burkus, best-selling author of three books and an award-winning podcaster, has contributed the first four questions on this list from an interesting article he wrote for Harvard Business Review. The others come from my own personal favorites and what other entrepreneurs and great conversationalists recommend.

1. What excites you right now?

As Burkus explains it, this question can go in many directions (work life, personal life, etc.) with a wide range of possible answers that may overlap into your life or work, which will open up the conversation further. And asking it allows for the other person to share something that he or she is passionate about.

 

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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2. What are you looking forward to?

Similar to the last one, but this is more forward-looking, which, says Burkus, allows for the other person “to choose from a bigger set of possible answers.”

3. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year?

Same technique as the previous two, but this one goes back in time for the other person to reflect on something pivotal that may have changed the course of his or her life. It also opens up a wealth of answers to choose from, which may overlap into some of your own areas of interest or expertise for further discussion.

4. What’s the most important thing I should know about you?

Because it can come across as a little direct, this is certainly not your first question, and it may not even be your third or fourth, but it “gives the broadest possible range from which they can choose,” says Burkus. Use it in context, listen for clues, and wait for the right timing.

5. What’s your story?

One of my personal favorites, this is open-ended enough to trigger an intriguing story—a journey to a foreign country, meeting a famous person, getting funded for the startup of your dreams, a special talent used for making the world a better place, etc. It’s a question that immediately draws in the other person and lets him or her speak from the heart.

6. What is one of your defining moments?

This is another great question that invites the speaker to share on a deeper level, which builds momentum and rapport quicker. Obviously, a few casual questions before it helps set the mood for hearing about a profound moment or transition in that person’s life.

7. Why did you choose your profession?

This assumes that, at some point, you dropped the mandatory “What do you do?” question. As a follow-up, it’s a question that will reveal multiple layers of someone’s journey. It speaks to people’s values, what motivates them, and whether their work is their calling. It may also trigger a different, more thought-provoking response: Some people aren’t happy in their jobs. By asking, you may be in the position to assist or mentor a person through a career or job transition.

8. What are you currently reading?

You may have the same authors and subjects in common, which will deepen your conversation. Also use this question to ask for book recommendations. You may find the conversation going down the path of exploring mutual book ideas to solve a workplace issue or implement a new business strategy.

9. How can I be most helpful to you right now?

To really add the most value to a conversation, once a level of comfort has been established, ask the other person how you can be most helpful to him or her, whether personally or professionally. You’ll be amazed how pleasantly surprised people get by that thoughtful gesture, and how responsive they are in their answer. Your genuine willingness, no strings attached, to make yourself useful to others leads to more interesting, engaging, and real conversations that may lead to future opportunities.

Remember, when you approach another person in conversation, the skill you want to use right off the bat is to immediately show sincere interest in that person. This will pave the way for a smooth conversation that can go places.

Whatever question you decide to use, the important thing is to always ask open-ended questions and to avoid work-related questions or business questions until much, much later in the conversation. You’ll be surprised by how seamless the transition is to discussing business, conducting a sales pitch, or exploring partnerships once both parties are into each other. Try it, and let me know what you think.

 

Businessinsider.com | February 24, 2018 |  

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Your #Career : This Is How To Conquer Even The Most Hardcore #Networking Anxiety…Having #SocialAnxiety isn’t the Same as just Being a Natural #Introvert, which Means there are Steps you can Take to Mitigate It.

As an anxious person, there are few things I dread more than large, unstructured networking events. Hell is nothing if not balancing a plate of hors d’oeuvres while desperately scanning the room for a kindly looking duo or trio who might welcome me into their conversation.

Despite fearing these situations, I know they’re an important part of growing a career. Yet when I force myself to network, I often find myself spiraling through escalating negativity that usually goes something like this:

Oh, there’s that woman I met before. I should go say hi to her. Wait, what if she doesn’t remember me? She probably doesn’t want to talk to me anyway. Oh God, I’m just standing here now. Everyone can see how awkward I am! GO TALK TO SOMEONE! TALK TO ANYONE, YOU CRAZY WEIRDO!

Then I sweat through another 15 minutes of psychological distress before treating myself to a nice break of hiding in the bathroom.

The truth is, almost everybody experiences some level of anxiety in different social situations, and you can absolutely be anxious and still make positive connections at networking events. It just might take a bit more focus and patience than it does for the naturally extroverted schmoozers and hand-shakers out there.


Related: How I Learned To Stop Hating Networking Events (Mostly)


GET TO KNOW YOUR ANXIETY

While many introverts are also socially anxious, having social anxiety isn’t the same as just being being introverted or shy–it’s not a personality thing. “It’s a specific fear about being negatively evaluated by other people,” psychotherapist Noah Clyman, director of NYC Cognitive Therapy, explains.

This fear is usually linked to negative beliefs that the sufferer has about himself or herself, like, “I’m a failure,” or “I’m incompetent,” or “I’m stupid.” It’s totally human to think self-deprecating thoughts occasionally, but for folks with social anxiety, these aren’t rare instances of self-criticism but deeply ingrained thought patterns. As a result, social interactions foment the concern that others will see them in the same negative way they perceive themselves–often leading social anxiety sufferers to avoid those encounters or approach them with fear and trembling.

Ironically, since a key trait of social anxiety is being hyper-conscious about others’ experiences, anxious folks tend to have little to worry about in reality. Clyman says that people with social anxiety typically “have pretty good skills socially, and they just get in their own way because they’re thinking too much.”

Still, I know firsthand that it’s pretty much useless to tell someone with anxiety not to worry. (Do birds not fly? Do fish not swim?) Thankfully, there are several evidence-based techniques for reducing the power of self-critical thoughts. I explored many of them in a recent episode of Group, the podcast I host about mental health and mental illness, but here are a handful to get you started.


Related: How I Realized My Social Anxiety Was A Hidden Career Asset


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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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FACE YOUR FEARS BIT BY BIT (IN A CONTROLLED SETTING)

Claire Eastham, author of We’re All Mad Here: The No-Nonsense Guide to Living with Social Anxiety, credits so-called “exposure therapy” as one of the treatment forms that “really, really works” for her. It’s exactly what it sounds like. “You kind of expose yourself to something that makes you uncomfortable a little bit at a time, which is difficult, because it’s the last thing that you want to do,” Eastham explains. “It seems absurd to put yourself in a situation that makes you feel afraid, but it kind of gave me back that ground, that control, that territory.”

In his practice, Clyman’s method of exposure therapy often involves filming a patient (with their consent) doing whatever it is that makes them anxious. For someone with my neuroses, he might record us simulating small talk together at a pretend networking event. Before watching the video, Clyman will ask his patients to rate how they believe they presented themselves.

Then, he says, “we’ll watch it back, and what people see is that they come across much better than they think they actually do.” Acknowledging this contrast between a self-critical perception and the much milder reality makes it easier for anxious folks to challenge their negative thinking–including in interactions outsideof the safety of their therapists’ offices.

Eastham admits she often obsesses over the idea that she’s “ruined her life” after certain social encounters. “When in reality,” she says, “when you have a look at what you did, and how you behaved to an outsider, I mean, those people, they won’t remember it!”


Related: This Silicon Valley Therapist’s Tips For Coping With Startup Stress


CATCH YOURSELF COMMITTING A “THOUGHT ERROR”

When that negative inner monologue starts rolling, self-critical thoughts and ideas pop into your head. Therapists call these “automatic thoughts” and tend to pair exposure therapy with “cognitive behavioral therapy,” a series of habits for identifying and challenging those automatic thoughts with more balanced appraisals.

“Often these thoughts are really exaggerated in a negative direction,” Clyman says, “so that the person is making some kind of error or errors in their thinking.” One common “thought error” that socially anxious folks fall tend to make is “catastrophizing,” or imagining the worst-case scenario when other scenarios are actually more likely. A therapist like Clyman might work with a patient to think through many possible scenarios, maybe even writing them out.

One automatic thought I often have at networking events is a version of “everyone thinks I’m awkward.” If I catch myself thinking that, then use it as a cue to step back and mentally examine other possible scenarios, I’m usually forced to admit that it’s unlikely everyone is thinking about how weird I am. Chances are they’re just as fixated on their own experiences, and probably aren’t observing me critically at all.

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

When I’m feeling anxious during a networking event, I’m hyper-conscious of how I’m standing, the way I’m speaking, and the general way I’m presenting myself. The problem, says Clyman, is that “when people are focused on themselves, they don’t have the opportunity to observe whether others are actually looking at them in a judgmental way.” Mindfulness exercises can break this self-focus just enough to gain a more objective sense of the situation.

Personally, I’ve found that meditation apps like Headspace useful for training myself how to get out of my own head and be more present. When I practice mindfulness regularly in situations that feel “safe” (when I’m spending time alone, or with close friends), I’m better able to remain calm and present in nervier environments, too–like when I speak with industry professionals at networking events.

NOW ABOUT THOSE SWEATY PALMS . . .

Social anxiety can also bring physical symptoms: a pounding heart, blushing, shaking, breathlessness. Eastham, for example, has a hand tremor that becomes evident when her anxiety is especially intense. Eastham has found that beta blockers, which are typically used to treat high blood pressure and migraines “help take the edge off” if those physical symptoms become unbearable. They can only be prescribed by a doctor and won’t treat the psychological experience of anxiety, but it maybe worth asking your healthcare provider if it’s an option you should consider.

The technique of “scripting” can also help you get through a networking event: “Spend some time planning how you would like it to go,” says Clyman. “Write down: What are three things that I could say about myself, or what are three things I could ask the person about themselves?” However, he cautions, once you finish that activity, make sure to move on. It’s easy to obsess or ruminate over how you want a situation to go, and spending hours mapping a hypothetical conversation isn’t going to be beneficial for your mental health–or your career.


Rebecca Lee Douglas is a multimedia producer and the host of Group, a lighthearted podcast about mental health and mental illness. You can follow her on Twitter at @RebeccaLDouglas and subscribe to Group on Apple PodcastsStitcher, or wherever you download your podcasts.

FastCompany.com | January 11, 2018 | BY REBECCA LEE DOUGLAS